Detox

A Star Trek: Voyager fanfiction by Andrew J. Talon

DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation et al are the property of CBS Television, Paramount and the creation of Gene Roddenberry. Please support the official release.

Yeah, I know. I go on hiatus from fic writing for one month and this is the monstrosity I cook up.

Well, least it's short.

Okay, I lied. It isn't short. And it's inspired by SFDebris. So yes, this is going to be something.


"And as for the final note for today's meeting," Janeway said, leaning back in her chair to look over the senior staff gathered, "until repairs are done, every bit of power that can be used for the replicators and fabrication has to be saved."

"The holodecks are one thing, sure, but if you're asking us to give up the sonic showers after the detox," B'Elanna said warningly, "you might have an actual mutiny on your hands."

Nobody else reacted as though they thought it was a joke. Thus, being a good captain once sober, Janeway spoke quickly.

"Nothing of the sort," Janeway said. "But laundry is consuming a fair amount of power. We're going to have to cut back. And that said, it might be helpful if we all relaxed things a bit."

"Casual week, you mean?" Tom asked. He shrugged. "Might be a nice change of pace."

"It's settled then," Janeway said with a nod. "We'll save up the power and try to relax a bit. After all," and here she smiled, "this is our home. Treating it like such might be better for all of us."

"And Starfleet regulations?" Chakotay asked. Janeway rolled her eyes.

"After what I've seen? I think they can have a rest. Dismissed."

The crew rose and filtered out, Kes lingering. Janeway looked up at the blonde Ocampan. "Kes? Something I can do for you?"

The nurse winced. "Captain, there is a bit of an issue with this..."

"Hm? What do you mean?" Janeway asked. "B'Elanna told me the laundry system's pretty overtaxed but everyone should have enough casual clothing to-"

"Errrr... That's the issue," Kes said carefully. Janeway stared at her.

"Mind speaking plainly, Kes?" She asked in her very best "I'm The Captain So Don't Waste My Time" voice.

"Well..."


In her quarters, Janeway was staring in disbelief at her closet. Her almost entirely empty closet. She looked over at Kes, who was smiling consolingly.

"What do you mean I had all the casual clothing burned?!" Janeway demanded. Kes winced.

"I'm sorry Captain, but it was... Um... Something I was building up to."

"Don't build up to it, tell me!" Janeway cried. She sighed and rubbed her face. "Please tell me it was at least for a good reason?"

"It was to kill space parasites that were trying to eat the ODN lines," Kes said with a straight face. Janeway lowered her hands and stared at her.

"That only affected casual clothing?"

"Well..." Kes winced. "Okay, so it was just on a whim... Was a pretty fun party though. B'Elanna was actually open to some..." Kes coughed, blushed, and shook her head. "Anyway... There's probably still some clothing left. You didn't burn all of it."

"Yes, but that means all that's left is..." Janeway trailed off, and stared at the last item in the closet. She sighed. "Just... Just great," she muttered.

Kes patted her on the shoulder consolingly. "Well... You did say you wanted a change of pace, correct?"

"Kes?"

"Yes Captain?"

"Shut up."

"Yes Captain."


At the next duty shift, Janeway stood in the turbolift as it ascended to the bridge. Kes was next to her, fidgeting a bit. Janeway looked over at Kes with a frown. The telepath smiled back.

"I just... Wanted to say you look very... Impressive, Captain," Kes said earnestly. "We didn't have anything like that on Ocampa."

"No, I suppose not," Janeway muttered, looking at the doors of the turbolift as the vehicle came to a stop. The doors opened and she stepped out... Having to lift up her skirts. Kes dutifully followed.

"Captain on the bridge," Tuvok announced. Janeway looked at him... And managed to repress her smirk. Her security officer was in his pajamas-Quite literally, and they shown a light purple in the bridge lighting.

"As you were," she said. She looked over at Harry, who was standing at Ops as usual. The unusual part was that he was dressed all in skintight black clothing, a balaclava hanging from his neck. At her scrutiny, he coughed.

"It was for a costume party before I went to DS9," he explained. Janeway nodded.

"I'm guessing you and Ballard went to it together?" She asked. Harry blinked.

"How did you-?"

"She was wearing a similar outfit, only much... Briefer," Janeway said with a smile. Harry smiled wryly.

"Should have seen what Libby was wearing," he confided.

"Aren't you the little heartbreaker, Harry?" Commented Tom Paris from the conn. Janeway looked and chuckled. Naturally, Tom was in a bright red Hawaiian shirt with yellow flowers splattered all over it, with a pair of blue jeans. He smiled up at Janeway in a charming way. "And Captain, you look very... Matronly."

"It was all I could find," she said dryly, adjusting the Victorian dress she wore for her gothic romance holonovels. She made her way to her chair, and sat down. She looked around. "Chakotay?"

"He was in the ready room, finishing up a few reports," Harry said. Tom was grinning. Janeway raised an eyebrow, and looked to the doors to her ready room. They opened, and out stepped Chakotay... In the army uniform he'd worn during the Hirogen takeover of the ship. He nodded respectfully to Janeway as he walked around and took his seat.

"Captain," he said politely. Janeway smiled and nodded back.

"Commander," she greeted. Frankly she was a bit disappointed. That wasn't nearly as embarrassing as she'd hoped it would be. Kes stood at her side, and looked over at Janeway. She smiled.

Just wait, she said telepathically. Janeway raised her eyebrows. The turbolift doors opened, and arguing was released.

"Your costume caught on my armor!"

"Well it's not my fault your armor is so pointy!"

"IT'S ALL I'VE GOT!"

"E-Everyone, please calm down?"

"Geez Tal, you're one to talk."

Janeway rose and looked back at the turbolift. B'Elanna emerged, grumbling as she adjusted full Klingon armor. Tom Paris whistled.

"Aren't you a sight, B'Elanna?" He said with a grin. The half-Klingon growled at him, and his smile grew. "That's not discouraging me, babe."

B'Elanna said something particularly foul in Klingonese to her boyfriend as she walked over to the engineering console, sat down, and got to work. Janeway's eyes returned to the turbolift. Mortimer Harren, who had been assigned as science officer for this shift, was fidgeting in a brown fedora, brown leather jacket, and other period clothing. It reminded Janeway of something, some film series...?

"Indiana Jones? Very nice, Harren," Paris complimented him. Harren scowled.

"Costume party, don't ask," he grumbled, walking to his console. All that was left was the vulnerable looking Tal Celes, who had been assigned environmental control for the shift. She was wearing a red and yellow polka-dotted bikini, and trying to cover her dignity with a towel tied around her waist and her hands over her stomach. Harry abruptly stopped typing at his console and stared, as did everyone else. The young Bajoran may have been prone to panic but she was a beautiful woman.

"Er... Um..." Tal tried, wilting under the scrutiny. Janeway offered a comforting smile.

"At ease, Crewman. Take your post," she said gently.

"You can turn up the heat if you need to," Harren said dryly, as the Bajoran hurriedly went over to the environmental console. She blushed deeply.

"Sh-Shut up, Mortimer!" She shot back.

"Might as well called it 'Beach Day'," Tom commented. Janeway settled back in her chair, lips twitching. Kes just kept smiling.

The turbolift doors opened again... And she heard Harry stop typing and gasp softly. Janeway turned her head... And gaped.

"Captain," Seven of Nine returned. Tom looked... And gaped as well. B'Elanna began to curse loudly in Klingon. She heard Harren fall out of his chair, and Tal squeak.

"Seven... You are aware you are nude," Tuvok said. Chakotay was fixedly looking on the viewscreen, much to Janeway's pleasure.

"Clothes are irrelevant. I am perfectly comfortable like this," the former Borg drone stated. "It is the rest of the crew that takes issue with it."

"I don't," Harry said, with enough conviction it made Seven blush. Janeway sighed.

"Seven? Go put something on."

"I'll help her find something," Harry said. "Tal? Take my post."

"Um, uh, ay-aye sir?" Tal managed, as Harry went over to his girlfriend. He wrapped his arm around her waist and led her back into the turbolift. The doors shut behind them. Janeway sighed, and looked over at Tal who was looking a bit less panicky.

"Well Crewman... Let's get the repair work for today done," Janeway said. "I have a feeling Mr. Kim is going to be... Detained for a while."

"Y-Yes captain," Tal managed. Janeway sighed, turned and sat down, smoothing out her dress. Kes remained standing at her side.

"Kes, did that just happen?" She asked. Kes nodded.

"Yes, yes it did."

"I see," Janeway sighed. She looked at Kes and raised an eyebrow. "You know, you seem to have squirreled away some decent clothing."

"I seem to have, didn't I?" Kes replied. Janeway smirked and said in a low voice:

"Then why do you have the Doctor's mobile emitter on your shoulder?"

Kes coughed... And sighed. "Well... Seven isn't the only one going around... Er... Skyclad," she confided.

"I see..."