It always surprises her when he's gentle like this. When, instead of pounding into her, he takes his time, moves slowly. One hand holding the back of her neck, the other one on her waist, bringing her close. They're skin to skin, he's all the way in, and he's big and thick and it's just the perfect fit.
She wants to speak, to scream, but she's biting her lips, they can't be loud. She's got her legs wrapped around him, her breasts against his chest and he keeps her from touching the mattress, he keeps her on his lap.
She closes her eyes; it's so different from the first time they did this. She remembers how much he trembled, how his kisses bruised her lips, how his fingers marked her skin, how she wanted to feel his taste on her tongue but neither of them had the courage to ask.
And now, now look at him.
Look at him biting her neck, licking the bruise afterwards. He's being so loving, she can't believe it. He's kissing her lips, moving his hips, backing away enough to slip out of her and then get back inside. She doesn't know how much he wants to tell her that he loves her, but he can't so he groans, he lies on his back and lets her stay on top. He stares at her, she feels exposed, she blushes but doesn't look away, her face is red from love, red from wanting him and he knows it, he fucking knows it.
He tells her to move, to ride him, and "yeah, fuck, just like that" and she feels some sort of pride in making him desperate. She feels even stronger knowing that she's the only one who gets to see him this way.
It doesn't matter that her legs are sore from yesterday's training, it doesn't matter that the left side of her body is still hurting from a face off with a titan who managed to make her lose balance for a second. That's how in love she is. She's losing her balance. And it doesn't matter because she rides him, back and forth, she rides him so good, so right but he's impatient, he can't stay still. He sits up, holds her on his lap and starts thrusting and that's when she loses it because he's so deep, he's just not stopping, and even though his movements have become rough, he's still gentle.
He's gentle when he kisses her one, two, three times and she moans against his mouth. He's gentle when he whispers in her ear.
"You're so tight," he says and her heart beats faster. "So fucking tight and so fucking beautiful."
And she knows he means it, he means it because he's not even aware he's saying it, he's so lost.
She thinks she's lost, too.
He picks up his pace, he says her name, he says Mikasa in such a way that it feels like he's holding her heart in his hands.
She knows he's close, he's on the edge. She starts moving with him, trying to meet his thrusts. His right cheek is against hers, he steals a kiss now and then.
"Inside me," she says.
That's when he leans back enough to look into her eyes.
"Say it again," he dares.
She forgets how to breathe for a second.
"Inside me," and she's so honest.
He kisses her again, she's sweet and good and his and then he backs away and rests his forehead against hers, he keeps on moving, keeps on thrusting, he's not sure the world outside exists right now, no, it's just them both and he asks, his lips brushing on hers, he asks if she's sure.
"Want me to finish inside you?"
And it doesn't take much after that. Not when she squeezes around him, not when she's offering her affection like this. Her care, her love, her body, her soul.
He goes still, comes, she closes her eyes as she feels him pulsating inside her. And even when he's done, he still moves, just a bit, and he's too sensitive, she knows.
He kisses the tip of her nose.
It's his way of saying he loves her.
It's her way of saying she loves him.
He lies on his back once again, she remains on top of him. He's going soft inside her, but she's biting her bottom lip. He smirks.
"I know what you want," he says.
"Then stop torturing me," she begs.
He shakes his head.
"I'll only do it if you ask me."
"Get on your back," he says.
She complies, and as she's getting off his lap, as he's slipping out of her, she gives one last squeeze which makes him tremble. He gets on top of her, smiling.
"Oh, you're—" he starts but stops when she kisses him.
"Touch me," she says again, grabs his right hand and spreads her legs. He watches as she places his hand on her pussy, makes sure at least two fingers are on her clit. She starts moving his hand, showing him what she wants, and he lets her. "Touch me like this," she begs.
She lets go of his hand, and closes her eyes when he starts doing what she asked. She's really close, and she moves her hips without even realizing it, she moves and tries to rub herself against his fingers.
"Look at me," she hears him say. "Please, Mikasa, look at me."
She can't resist him.
He gets lost in her little moans; they're low and raspy and pretty and she's starting to lose control over them, she's coming, she's coming and looking right at him.
She calls out his name, arching her back and gasping. She shakes then and grabs his hand again, tells him to stop, it's too much.
She's breathless and tired and sleepy and he pulls her to him, gives her a small kiss. She smiles in the middle of it.
It makes him laugh.