Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Alpha-Bits belong to Post. And Frosted Flakes belong to Kellogg's. This, of course, is mine. *waves hi*
Chapter Six: Alpha-Bits and Frosted Flakes
"You're not even going to give me a ride home?"
I shouldn't even have let her in. Or given her so much as the time of day when she showed up at my door. Not that I gave her anything at all behind that one... "Did I give you a ride here?"
"You just fucked me bent over your dad's workbench, so–"
"It's my workbench."
"Are you giving me a ride or not?"
"I think I already did," I say, and open the garage door to let the 'ridden' Jessica out. Just as Bella's truck pulls into my driveway, because she, not Emmett like I expected, just gave Rose a ride home.
"Thank God I don't ever go in there for anything," my sister says as she gets out of the truck.
But I'm not paying much attention to her, because Bella is looking at me. And the look on her face…
Falls completely away as Jessica knocks on her half open window. She rolls it down the rest of the way and looks at her warily. "Yeah?"
"Hi. I know we don't really know each other, but I know you live across the street from me… Are you by chance going home now? Could I catch a ride if you are? He won't give me one."
"You're such a dick, Edward," Rose says as she walks past me. "And she's a whore, Bella, so tell her no!"
And I can't at this moment disagree with anything my sister said, but Bella, even though she probably doesn't, either, doesn't say no like Rose told her to. "Yeah, sure, I guess. If you're stranded." And pulls out of my driveway with my most recent 'dick' proof right beside her. And all over her beautiful face.
And leaving me feeling like I'm the one who's stranded.
~ DtT ~
Jasper's been very content with the no-longer-new physical nature of our relationship. He hasn't tried to get my pants off once since I let him take off his. Or merely push them down…
But I'm not as happy as he is. Because he's too content, and getting greedy. "I don't want to."
"Come on, Bella… I've thought about it all day."
"You said that yesterday."
"That's because I thought about it all day yesterday too. Until I didn't have to just think about it anymore, because you did it."
"Yeah, YESTERDAY. So, you should be good for awhile."
"You should be good TODAY."
"I said I don't want to."
"Then why did you get me all hot and bothered?"
"Because I was hoping it would make you want to do something."
"What kind of something else?" he asks warily, and I think he thinks I want him to do something. Something to me... And I do, someday, but it's not what I was trying to hint at on this one.
"THE something else," I tell him, and move his hand from his cock to the button of my jeans.
"Really?" he asks, no longer wary, and kind of adorably excited.
"I've been wanting you to… but you stopped trying when I stopped saying no to the other thing…"
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Too shy, I guess," I say, and look down, because the words sound stupid, even to me. I mean, he's my boyfriend, and I've had his dick in my mouth half a dozen times… I should have been able to tell him I was ready for him to put it somewhere else.
"You're so cute," he says, and tilts my chin up so that I look at him. Until my eyes close because he kisses me. And then pops that button…
Because I finally said yes.
~ DtT ~
I should have told Bella how I felt. Before it was too late, and I had to hear Jasper brag about how she felt. "She was so fucking tight… Man, I've had virgins before, but Bella… fuck, that was the sweetest, tightest shit ever."
Yeah, I should have told her.
Because maybe if I had, she wouldn't have given any of her sweetness to him... to share with everyone else.
~ DtT ~
"How was it?"
"How was WHAT?"
"I took one look at you and knew you did it, Bella. IT it. So, spill."
"Yeah, I know. But besides that?"
"There wasn't anything besides that, it just hurt." A lot. And a lot more than I thought it would, even though Rose had tried to prepare me.
"I'm sorry. That sucks."
"But it got me off the hook of having to do that."
She laughs at my that, even though, no matter how much she complains about it, I know she actually likes to do that that to Emmett. But then, Emmett returns the favor and does something to her whenever she wants him to, and really well, according to her, so…
"Don't expect to stay off of that hook for very long. As much as I'm sure he's thrilled to have been given the key to your downtown pleasure palace, it won't make him forget about the one uptown."
"You'd be a terrible cheerleader, Bella."
"Gee, ya think?" I ask her sarcastically, and throw my pencil at her.
And she says something smart ass in reply, after a dramatic and unnecessary "OW!"–because I threw it, so it missed her completely–but I don't hear exactly what it is, because a door slams right across the hall from her already closed one.
That I realize sadly, regardless of what else I recently have about him, that I wish it had been the one I was behind last night instead of Jasper's. And that Edward had been the one hurting me. Because something tells me that pain wouldn't have been all I felt if he had been.
Or all I feel again now.
~ DtT ~
I made my bed. And since I did, Jasper got Bella into his.
All because I wouldn't speak up. And let my sister's doing it for me be all Bella heard.
This whole mess is my fucking fault. Because I, who's never been afraid to say anything, was too much of a fucking pussy to say so much as a single word to Bella that might have changed things.
The mere sight of her made me want to be different. To consider being, anyway.
The sound of her laughter kept me up at night, after only hearing it a single time.
I've spelled her name in my bowl of Alpha-Bits every single morning for months, and if I couldn't, kept pouring into my bowl until I could, since the first after the day I learned it.
And right at this moment I'm in the stupid grocery store buying another three boxes of it, because I don't want to stop doing it. Because, as stupid as it is, it's the only way I can have her.
Those three boxes of Alpha-Bits aren't the only things in my hands, though. And aren't the actual reason I came into this store. I came in here because Rose said I needed to spend the night at Emmett's–or under any rock of my choosing, as long as it was far away from our house–tonight, because Bella is sleeping over at our house. And I know that Bella loves Frosted Flakes. And I want her to be able to have them in the morning if she wants to.
I won't get to see if she does, at least until I get home tomorrow and see if the box was opened, but I want her to have the choice. One of sweetness.
The only one I had the balls to give her.
~ DtT ~
"Pick a color."
I eye the what must be close to thirty bottles of nail polish Rose has dumped on her bed with dread. "Why?"
"Because you're going to let me do your nails."
"And why am I?"
"You mean besides because I say you are?"
"Yeah, you bossy bitch."
"Because it will make them pretty. And I'm really not that bossy, or really even that much of a bitch, if I'm letting you pick the color, am I?"
I nod my head and she flips me off with her perfectly manicured finger. And maybe gives me the perfect out… "Won't doing my nails mess yours up?"
"Nice try, Bella. Now, PICK."
"It really doesn't matter to me, Rose. You can pick the color. Just not that hot pink shit that Lauren wears. Or that glitter shit that Jessica does."
"Do you see those colors here, Bella?"
"NO," I say to her snarky tone, just as I spot a color that I might not actually mind wearing. "Here, do this one."
"That's Emmett's favorite," she says to the plum-toned polish, and I raise a brow. "Emmett has a favorite nail polish?"
"For the same reason he has favorite shades of lipstick and gloss. Because when they're wrapped around his dick, via my hands or mouth, he thinks they're prettiest."
"And if you wore none of either on either?" I ask her, daring her with another raised brow to say he'd really care or complain.
"Oh, that's not the point, Bella. And, by the way, that lip gloss is pretty on you. Jasper has good taste."
"Yeah, thanks…" I mutter, still really annoyed with myself for caving and wearing it just because I lost my tube of Chap Stick.
"And you're certainly welcome to wear this color, but I think I may actually have one that will perfectly match that lip gloss… that I think might be someone else's favorite shade…"
"Is that why he gave me this crap? I thought it was for the slip factor!"
"A multipurpose gift, Bella…" she says, and digs through her just refilled basket of colors again, before pulling out a shade I recognize as the very one on my too slippery lips. "That does perfectly match this polish right here. So, which is it? A sweet thank you pink, or a bold fuck you plum?"
"Sweet," I say with a sigh. Because my boyfriend is bold enough for both of us.
~ DtT ~
"What the hell are you doing here?" my sister barks as I walk past her doorway and through my own to grab a sweatshirt.
"I live here," I bark back without a backwards glance, and then remember–not that I could forget–that Bella is probably with Rose in her room. "Hi, Bella," I say much more kindly to the beautiful girl I do now turn around to see sitting on the bed, and looking almost sad. "Are you okay?"
"Hi. And yeah... Do I not look okay?"
"You look…" Beautiful. Always… "Uh… well, yeah, of course. I didn't mean that you–"
"Why are you talking to her? And god, Bella, why do you even talk to him at all when you don't have to? Don't you get enough of that at school, since you're forced to sit next to him for almost an hour every morning?"
"Rose, why are you so mean to him?" Bella surprises me by asking her. "Did he do horrible things to your dolls when you were little or something?"
"YES, actually. He kidnapped two of them! And didn't give them back–and still hasn't!–even after I paid his stupid ransom!"
I'm tempted to tell her–really tempted, under the circumstances, and given our present company–that Jasper was the one who did it, and still laughs about it, but instead I say nothing, and turn and walk to my closet to grab what I came back home for. Jake's having a bonfire out at La Push beach, where we'll all probably end up spending the night tonight, and, almost summer or not, it gets cold as shit out there at night.
Bella looks up again, or maybe she was still looking across the hall towards my room, when I walk out of it to leave. "Are they still alive?" she asks me.
And I have no idea what she's talking about. "They? Alive?"
"The dolls," she clarifies, a That's mean expression on her beautiful face.
"I didn't take them," I tell her. "And I honestly don't know."
"Kidnapping LIAR!" Rose yells, and then gets up and slams her door in my face.
I shake my head and start down the hall towards the stairs, but then decide to go back. No matter what my sister thinks of me, I do have some manners. And did even think about them, and prepare for them, in advance… right after I got home from the store and put Bella's box of Frosted Flakes next to my Alpha-Bits in the cabinet. I simply forgot to make my mannerly offer before I left the first time.
So I knock on the door to make it now, not at all surprised when Rose yells "Fuck off, asshole!" in response. And still not, when, despite that, Bella opens it.
"I just wanted to tell you," I say as soon as our eyes meet, "that you're welcome to my room. You know, to sleep, if you'd like to do that alone, and not share a bed with Rose, or sleep on her floor or whatever you were going to do."
"She doesn't want a disease, thank you very much!" Rose yells this time, and I hope her screeching doesn't mirror Bella's thoughts.
Her eyes tell me they don't, but I try to reassure her anyway. "The sheets are clean, I promise. I changed them this afternoon, after Rose said you'd be here tonight."
"I didn't…" she starts, but nothing else follows, and she bites her lip, just feeling awkward now, I think.
"I just wanted to offer," I say. "And reassure. And now I have, so… have a good night, Bella."
"She might if you ever LEAVE," Rose spits, and starts stomping towards the door again, no doubt to slam it for the second time. On my head, if she had her way…
But I don't give her that chance, and walk away, leaving a bewildered looking Bella behind.
And I'm halfway down the stairs when I hear her "You too, Edward!" That's sweetness echoes in my head for the rest of the night.
~ DtT ~
"If you want to snoop around in there, Bella, I'll totally let you. Hell, I'll even put on some gloves and snoop with you, I might find something to blackmail him with… but no way you're sleeping in his disgusting bed. You would get a disease, even if his 'clean' sheets were six inches thick and plastic."
"He can't be as bad as you make him out to be, Rose, even if he murdered every doll you ever had."
"Can't be as bad? Please, he's WORSE. And I promise I don't snore, kick, or hog the blankets. And I'm not bi-curious at all, so you don't have to be afraid to sleep with me."
"Has anyone been naked on these sheets?" I ask her, and her mouth drops open in pretend insulted shock… before she closes it with a "Dammit" and a laugh and starts tossing pillows to the floor.
~ DtT ~
Rose and I didn't snoop around in Edward's room, but only because I refused to do it, and wouldn't let her, with or without me. And I had no intention of taking him up on his offer, and sleeping in it–in his bed–even before Rose's 'protests', but I can't say that I wasn't at least a little intrigued by the idea of it. Though an unchanged pillowcase would have been more intriguing than the fresh one I know his pillow wears…
Which I know because the scent of him, though subtle, is still seeping through the clean, soft cotton case.
I didn't plan to come in here. And certainly not to climb into his bed. When I left Rose's room, I only meant to continue down the hall to the stairs, to go down to their kitchen for a drink of water…
But as soon as I stepped into the hall, my feet developed a mind of their own. And a thirst. For something that would never be mine. A few moments alone with whatever Edward really was.
Or what I thought he might have been, before he showed me something different. And exactly what Rose had claimed him to be from the very beginning.
That, no matter what I've seen, even with my own eyes, or heard, through her mouth or Jasper's, I still struggle to believe is what he wants to be.
There's a genuine kindness in Edward. Something real, and pure, and unhideable. To someone who's looking past the surface riddled with distractions, beautiful or otherwise. If what I did see earlier tonight, and on several other occasions, was what I thought it was, what I felt even myself… Edward is, to some degree at least, hurt by Rose's incessant cruelty and disdain. That, from deep in my heart, I truly don't think he earned from her. Certainly not by the ridiculous means of childhood games, cruel and taunting or not.
Even the things she said about his room seem to come from left field. I know what she was implying, but his room is spotless. It's cleaner than mine, and certainly hers. And I don't think it is only because of his kindly made offer. I've been to this house dozens of times, and walked past his unclosed door probably almost as many, and never have I seen a single thing out of place. He respects his personal space. There's a pride in it, that even I, lying here in its darkness, can see and feel.
So, wouldn't it be possible that he have at least some of that same pride and respect for himself? And be capable of giving or showing it to someone else?
He didn't have to offer me anything. And certainly not this thing I've taken.
He didn't have to wish me a good night before he left to have whatever kind of one was ahead of him.
He didn't have to so much as acknowledge me…
But he did. And still bothered to–made it a point to–even though doing so put him back in his sister's firing range.
And as I climb out of his bed, for fear that I'll fall asleep in it, and then remake it as perfectly as I can, before tiptoeing quietly back to Rosalie's room, my drink of water forgotten, I feel like a part of him follows me. And tucks me in in that place where I know I should have stayed…
But that I didn't stay in. Because the real Edward offered me a different choice. And it was one I couldn't resist.
~ DtT ~
"I'm not much of a cook, but I could fry you an egg, and probably make toast without burning either, if–"
"You don't have to make me breakfast, Rose." And I don't believe her for one second that she could. "I'm pretty much a cereal girl, anyway. Got anything sugar coated?" I know they do, but I have to ask.
"I'm sure Edward has some of his stupid Alpha-Bits in there. He's such a child… I even caught him spelling words in his milk the other day."
"What were the words?" I ask, the picture in my head to precious to not want to know.
"I don't fucking know, Bella! Probably blow job or dick or some other equally disgusting shit. Who cares!"
"Maybe he was spelling 'My sister is a cranky bitch'?" I suggest, and she flips me off, before turning around and grabbing a bowl and a spoon from their respective homes.
"The kid cereal is in that cabinet," she says as she points, "and I'm sure you can find the milk. Use whichever kind you want. My mom's got skim, but Edward and my dad both will only drink 2%, so the choice is yours. I personally think it's all disgusting, and would never drink or put any of it in anything."
"THAT you think is too disgusting to swallow?" I ask her, making no effort whatsoever to conceal my disgust. "Yet–"
"Zip it, Swan!" she says, and picks up her phone. "Or I'll call Jasper right now and tell him you woke up craving HIS milk. And that you even put your pretty pink lip gloss on already in anticipation of him bringing it to you."
"That's sick. And he'd never believe you."
"Guys will believe anything, Bella, especially if it's something they want to hear. They're not as needing of 'proof' and gestures as we are."
"I'm pretty sure he'd want the proof, Rose. And definitely the gesture."
"Oh, that's just because that example involves his dick. And I was speaking in overall terms, not about your potential breakfast."
"I'm having CEREAL for breakfast, bitch. Sweet, sugary cereal."
"Whatever floats your boat, Bella," she snickers, and heads up to shower, because we're supposed to be meeting our guys for lunch in a couple of hours, and she's already stressing about her limited prep time, even though I personally think she's gorgeous just rolled out of bed…
But, like she said, whatever floats your boat. Mine of which needs to be power assisted by sugar, before it sinks.
The knowledge of which propels me across the kitchen to the magic cabinet, that when I open, I find contains not only the Alpha-Bits I expected to see–though not FOUR boxes–but beside them, and like three of them, a new and unopened box of Frosted Flakes… that just last week I told Edward was my favorite, during The Great Biology Class Cereal Debate.
And that I know I'm looking at because I did.
And because I was right about him.
~ DtT ~
"Are you STILL eating that crap? You remember we're going to lunch, right?"
Correction… just rolled out of bed Rose sucks, just like just got out of the shower Rose–Oooh, I could have fun with this train of thought!... But don't have time for that at the moment–because neither wear clippity cloppity heels. And without them she's much too quiet. Well, until she opens her bitchy, bossy mouth… "Yes, Rose, I remember. And no, I'm not still eating, I was just cleaning up."
I close the cabinet door quickly, hoping she didn't see what I was doing before I knew she could see me doing anything, and turn around and smile at her. "Have you ever considered going au naturel? Your face, I mean?"
"Are you high from that cereal?"
A little maybe… but not the way she means. "No, I just think you look really pretty that way. And–"
"Don't even finish that sentence, Bella, because there's no way in hell."
"I'm wearing nail polish, so–"
I raise my hands in surrender, and back out of the kitchen, before turning and running–okay, walking safely quickly–up the stairs. And wishing I could see Edward's face tomorrow morning when he pours his Alpha-Bits into his bowl and my note falls out.
The one that simply says Thank you.
Because his sweet gesture gave me all the proof I'd ever need, even though I never had the guts to ask him for any.
Before I wished I had. And before it was too late for it to matter.