A/N: Thanks for all the reviews and support! I hope you enjoy this last chapter.
Alec was staring out the window, comfortably dressed in a dark turquoise-grey turtleneck and faded blue jeans. Outside, the sun was beginning to set and the world was basked in shades of orange and purple. The people below went about their day, the hustle of an ending day in full swing as hordes of briefcases, backpacks and handbags traversed their separate ways home. His eyes refocused and in the window, Alec stared at his own reflection and frowned. The past 24 hours had been such a tumulus roller coaster of pent up frustration, anger, sadness and love that he'd come out the other side worse for wear - emotionally worn out. He and Magnus had worked things out, to an extent, and they were back together, so he should have been happy, elated and overjoyed, and he was - at first. As the hours slowly rolled by the initial euphoria had faded into practiced normalcy between the two of them, but there was something gnawing at him, something Alec was reluctant to acknowledge.
"Penny for your thoughts?"
Startled, Alec quickly turned around to find Magnus, dressed in a black t-shirt with the words ONE MILLION DOLLARS across the chest in sequins and a pair of dark grey sweat pants, standing with a box of pizza in his hands and two sodas floating candidly above his head. The significance of Magnus' t-shirt wasn't lost on Alec, it being the same one he had worn the night he had asked the warlock out for the first time; it was also the first night he had ever been kissed.
"Is everything okay?" Magnus asked with concern. He set the pizza down on the glass coffee table and went to Alec's side, the sodas trailing silently behind him, bumping into the tall warlock when he stopped. Magnus waved the cans away, floating off to join their greasy counterpart on the table. Magnus narrowed his eyes at Alec whose glazed eyes continued to stare off into space. "Alec?"
"Huh?" Alec blinked and found himself in the circle of Magnus' strong embrace, his heart jumping slightly at the contact and close proximity. "Yeah, no, I'm not hungry," he mumbled, his eyes dropped and focused on the sequins of Magnus' t-shirt.
Magnus tilted Alec's head up by the chin, searching the oceans of Alec's eyes for a clue as to why the young shadowhunter was acting so strangely, and frowned when Alec averted his gaze and turned away. Reluctantly, Magnus lowered his arms and stepped back to give Alec his space. "Something's bothering you," Magnus said, worry evident in his voice.
Seeing the Magnus' frown, Alec quickly took a step forward and wrapped his arms around the warlock's slim waist and rested his head against the taller man's chest. "Sorry," Alec murmured as Magnus arms encircled him in a hug. "It's nothing."
Magnus wasn't going to let it go. He manoeuvred them to the couch, taking a step back and crossing his arms as Alec sat down. His cat-like eyes, clear and piercing stared at the younger shadowhunter. "Talk to me," Magnus implored. "What's wrong?"
Alec managed a small smile. How could he tell Magnus what was wrong when he himself wasn't entirely sure? As Magnus sat down beside him, Alec's heart fluttered when Magnus reached out and squeezed his hand, sending warmth coursing through his body. "It's strange," Alec said, his voice low. "I feel like..." Alec sighed and leaned back, throwing his head back against the sofa and stared vacantly at the ceiling. "I feel like it'll all going to slip away soon."
"What do you mean slip away?" Magnus asked, his thumb tracing comforting circles against the back of Alec's hand.
"You, this, everything." Alec said. "Like I'm about to wake up from a dream, and when I wake up, you're not going to be there."
"I'm right here. You're not dreaming." Magnus shifted closer, and with a completely straight face, he asked, "Should I pinch you?"
Alec snorted and dramatically shoved him in away. "Funny."
Magnus watched as Alec stood up and returned to the window, his eyes fixed in the direction of the fiery horizon. For a moment, Magnus hesitated to acknowledge that he, too, had become acutely aware of the wintry mist unsureness that had begun to settle - a sinking feeling that at any moment things could unravel. His arms itched to encircle the lonely shadowhunter, a constant urge he's had since the very first time he'd set his eyes on Alec, right here in this very apartment. The past month had been trying to say the least; Alec's absence had left an irreplaceable void in his life, emptiness and regret in a way he had never felt in all his years. Yet today, they had decided to start anew, a cover of joy and happiness that merely hid the shadow of doubt beneath. Deciding to make the first move, Magnus got up and walked over to stand behind Alec. His arms encircled the younger man and he rested his head against Alec's head. "Do you remember the day you came here to ask me out?"
"I thought you were cute," Magnus said. "You were a hot, strange conundrum of a Lightwood. I was expecting a short fling, a little fun, some excitement. I never dreamed of falling in love with you."
Alec turned within the circle of Magnus' embrace, face to face, their eyes now locked on each other.
Magnus smiled and shrugged. "Being with you was easy, when it was just the two of us, away from everyone else. You were important, very important to me, but you never thought of me the same way and that upset me more than is should have - that's when I realised I'd fallen in love with you, a young shadowhunter, blunt as a brick." Magnus chuckled. "I tried to stay away. I didn't answer your calls, but that didn't really work out."
Resting his head against Magnus' chest, Alec smiled, comforted by the slow and steady beat of the warlock's heart. "I just thought you were upset with me, I didn't know why."
"Well you're not exactly quick on the uptake when it comes to relationships."
"I resent that."
Magnus chuckled. "When you kissed me in Alicante, that was the happiest I had felt in a very, very long time. Loving you made me question my immortality; for the first time, I wanted to grow old with someone I genuinely loved.} Magnus paused and tightened his embrace, his voice dropping into a low whisper. "But you began to drift away - I was losing you and I didn't know why and there was nothing I could do. You don't know how hurt I was when I found you exactly where she said you'd be."
Alec pulled away slightly and cupped Magnus' cheek, his finger softly brushing against the warlock's smooth, youthful skin. "I'm sorry I never told you," Alec said. "I just didn't want to screw up."
"And turning me mortal was your solution to that?"
Alec shook his head. "No. At first I wanted to know if I could be made immortal. Maybe then you'd stop being so secretive, maybe then I wouldn't be ..."
"Trivial." Magnus finished darkly.
"Trivial." Alec leaned in closer, the very beat of Magnus' heart urging him on like a drum on a dragon boat. "She told me there no way, but there was a way to turn you mortal - for a price. I thought about it at first but I wasn't going to kill some one for it; I told her I wouldn't do it. But I kept I kept going back."
Alec sighed. "Because she was the only one that knew you, that loved you. The only one who knew you like I did, actually she knew more about you than I did. There was no one else I could talk to who would understand."
Magnus' eyes widened in surprise. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't know how to explain. You've never pushed me away like that before. What was I supposed to say? I went behind your back so I could ask your ex-girlfriend for relationship advice?"
Magnus closed his eyes and sighed, keeping his sudden anger in check. What Camille had kept from him had fed his mistrust in Alec, and when he had found the shadowhunter exactly where the vampire had said, he had taken her words as the complete truth. "You weren't the only she managed to fool." Magnus leaned forward to rest his forehead against Alec's, his voice a low whisper. "Am I that hard to love?"
Alec chuckled to himself, turning his head slightly to rest against Magnus' strong shoulder. If only Magnus knew how difficult it was loving him, but then again, it may have just been him - since Magnus was the only person he'd ever been in a relationship with, there was no way to know. "Sometimes." His tone was light but reserved. Alec bit his lip. A memory of one of his meetings with Camille flashed through his mind; the baroness had laughed at his ignorance of even the simplest details about Magnus - where he was born, his lineage. In fact, aside from Magnus' fondness for his cat - who, Alec noted curiously, he hadn't seen all day, and sandalwood, along with an interesting fashion sense, Alec barely knew the warlock. Pulling back but remaining within the circle of Magnus' arms, Alec stared into Magnus' warlock mark, his green-golden cat-like eyes. Those eyes, Alec thought, had seen everything in Magnus' past - a past Magnus was unwilling to share with him.
Magnus narrowed his eyes as Alec continued to stare at him and waved his hand back and forth between them. "Alec? What is it?"
"Why can't I know?" Alec asked.
"What can't you know what?"
Alec swallowed. "You," he said squarely. "Why can't I know you?"
"No." Alec stood his ground; as Magnus began to pull away, he grabbed both of the warlock's arms and held them in place. "You never want to talk about your past - any of it. I just want to know why."
Magnus stood still, closed his eyes and threw his head back with a sigh. "I just don't see why the past has to matter. Everyone has one - I have a very long and rather complicated one, but the past is the past."
"It matters to me. It's important to me," Alec said. "Because at some point in the future, that's all I'm going to be to you - a memory."
Magnus' gaze fell sharply on Alec, his eyes wide in shock. "Alec!"
Alec sighed and let go of Magnus' arms. "I'm mortal, Magnus. I can't change that." He stepped closer to wrap his arms around the warlock's waist. "Is it so bad that I want to share more than just your bed or your shampoo?"
Magnus lowered his eyes and curled his lips into a thin line before wrapping his arms tightly around Alec. "I'm sorry," he mumbled against the skin of Alec's neck. "Even though I can't understand it, sometimes I forget how important the past is to a mortal, and-" Magnus paused and raised his head sheepishly, "there are parts of my past that I'd rather not share, least of all with you."
"Me?" Alec asked in confusion. "Why me?"
Magnus sighed and shook his head. "You can be rather dense, Alexander. It's because I love you, and as charming as I am, I, like most my age, have done things - things that might make you think twice."
Alec's face fell. "So you won't tell me?"
Magnus smiled. "No, you've made your point. Even if I don't see the merit in doing so," he said softly, "if it matters to you, then I'll tell you."
Magnus nodded when a small glint appeared in his eyes. "For a price," the warlock added, his smile widening into a playful grin.
Alec narrowed his eyes. "What kind of price?"
"That will depend on when you ask me." Magnus thought about it and added with a wink, "No more than an arm, maybe a leg, I promise."
Alec loved and shoved the slim warlock away before grabbing the front of his t-shirt with his hands and forcefully yanking Magnus towards him. Their lips met in a gentle kiss and Alec moved to whisper in Magnus' ears, "Thank you." Alec couldn't control the smile on his face as Magnus' arms enveloped him in a tight embrace, and they stood that way for a long while, happy that the air between them had cleared.
The night progressed slow and steadily and mist began to collect on the windows in the chilly autumn air. The burning sky had long died out, replaced by a palette of dark greys and blues, illuminated by the shine of the moon and the bright lights of the city. The Alec and Magnus had earlier moved to the couch: Magnus reclining comfortably with his feet up on the glass coffee table and Alec lying across the couch with his head resting on Magnus' legs. They were silent, wholly content with each other's close presence.
"Magnus," Alec said. It was the first word either of them had spoke in a while. "What's going to happen when I'm old and you still look like you're in your twenties? People would talk."
Magnus tilted his head back and thought about it. "People would think you're amazing in bed if you could please a twenty year-old in your eighties," he said with a wink.
Alec bit his lip and held in chuckle. "Eighties? Shadowhunters don't live that long." Not that they couldn't, it was just rare for a shadowhunter to live that long.
"I'll be damned if I let you die before you're eighty-three. Besides, no shadowhunter has ever had Magnus Bane at their rear." Magnus paused. "No pun intended." He grinned. "We'll make do with a few more stamina runes," he added, wagging his eyebrows. Magnus cried out as Alec punched him in the leg. "Ow!"
Magnus' lips curled into a thin, hesitant smile and his voice dropped to a low whisper as he continued to run his fingers through Alec's dark hair. "I can't promise you forever."
Alec looked up, wide-eyed. Magnus looked completely serious.
Magnus gazed down at Alec. "People change all the time, Alexander; mortals more often than immortals," Magnus said, a touch of sadness lingering in his eyes. "Maybe in the future, you'll find someone else - someone you love, someone who you could grow old with - who knows?"
"You think I'm the one who's going to break up with you?" Alec asked incredulously. "What about you? Maybe you'll find someone younger, someone-"
Magnus placed a finger on the younger shadowhunter's lips and shook his head. "There is no next time for me."
Alec snorted. "Isn't that a little hypocritical? You just said people change, even immortals."
"I'm over 400 years old, it's universally accepted that I'm allowed to be," Magnus said proudly.
Shaking his head, Alec sighed and gave the grinning warlock a strange, almost pleading look. "Cant you be normal and just say you love and we'll live happily ever after? Or something along those lines - Jace seems to have a long list of them" But then again, Alec thought, Jace had always been gifted when it came to expressing himself whereas he had always been the more brooding suffer-alone-in-silence type.
"That sounds quite fitting for Jace," said Magnus with a laugh. "I didn't think you'd appreciate such an outlandish lie."
"It's a little comforting," Alec admitted.
"I suppose," Magnus mused. "Alec Gideon Lightwood, I will love you for all eternity - how's that?"
Alec yawned then raised his eyebrows with a casual smirk, the stress of the past few days once again taking its toll as sleep began to take over. "I thought you didn't want to lie?" Magnus flicked his fingers and the lights began to slowly fade.
"Who said I was lying?" Magnus was completely straight-faced. "I actually could love you for all eternity, assuming I live that long."
Smiling, Alec shifted onto his side and closed his eyes, "I can live with that - for now."
A/N: Please leave a review!