Title: Late Night Special.
Series: TF2
Character/pairing: Scout/Miss Pauling
Rating: PG-13
Author's note: Scout/Miss Pauling - Late night shopping. Established relationship.

Thanks to Multiversecafe for the beta.


Scout was on his third cup of coffee in an hour. He jerked around, twitching and kicking his foot against the walls, checking at the door every few seconds. Still locked. Geez, it sucked having a girlfriend who had a job like that.

He checked at his watch again, and only five minutes had passed. Almost twelve. So much for the reservations. At this rate they were gonna ban him for flaking out on them so many times.

All that nervous energy just went out the window—well, not literally––when she came out the door.

"Miss Pauling! Beautiful! There you are!"

She pushed a stray hair behind her ear. Her bun was falling apart, half her lipstick was on the cup she was carrying, and she had never looked better.

"Were you waiting long? I figured you'd just go home," she said.

Scout sprung up from where he'd been leaning against the wall. "Well, you should've known better! I ain't given up on you, and I never am gonna. So there," he said.

"I still have some things to pick up—"

"—and I'll carry them for you!"

"It won't be much of a date. I'm pretty tired," Miss Pauling said.

"Babe, don't ditch it before you tried it. I bet I can make it a kickass date just by addin' my kickass self into the equation!"

She smiled and shook her head in that half affectionate way of hers."Try not to bring any explosions or car chases into it."

"Okay, fine, I will try and put down my bombastic action hero personality for you and only you, but I can't do anythin' about my extreme handsomeness."

She laughed, and started down the hall without him. He started at a run to keep pace— well, she wasn't exactly leaving him in the dust, but he wasn't going to take any chances. He started on about his day, because he couldn't have her missing just how great he'd been. He'd even put on extra awesomeness, just for her.

"–And then, and then, I totally took out that enemy Sniper in one shot! I was in the air flyin' like a super hero, and man, it was the greatest! So, what's on the agenda today, Miss P? I can totally keep you up all night, if you know what I mean." He waggled his eyebrows and gave her a suggestive grin.

"I need to get up in the morning...and for heaven's sakes, I don't need you breaking another bed. I just got a new one."

Scout snickered to himself, barely covering his mouth with his bandaged hands. "Should win an award for that night. Maybe you should, too, given that you left scars on me even doc couldn't get rid of. And that's sayin' somethin'!"

Miss Pauling cleared her throat, a really cute blush over her cheeks. Made him want to kiss them, and because he never thought more than a second before acting, he leaned in and did so.

"Behave, you," she said.

"You're the one lookin' at my lips," he said.

She tugged on his shirt and pulled him down to her level and just kissed him right there, taking complete control as she bunched his shirt up in her little hands. Holy crap he loved when she did that. Miss P was smaller than him and not the brawniest girl around, but when she wanted something, she'd just go get it, no matter what. Hottest thing he'd ever seen, and would probably ever see. Hotter than a Pyro with an unlimited supply of juice for his fires. Yeah, that hot.

She took a deep breath through her nose, but half the time he forgot to breathe because of all the giddy warmth in his chest, his lips tingling and toes curling as she left his knees weak with just one kiss. She broke off sooner than he would've liked, but when he leaned in for more, she put a finger over his lips.

"Work first— for your question, the agenda is some new clothes. I couldn't get the bloodstains out this time. Since you've been so patient, I'll also be shopping for a new bathing suit. I definitely need some second opinions..."

Scout let out a low whistle. "You said the magic words, baby. I'd follow you across the world."

"I thought was a given," she said.

"Yeah, but now we can go to the beach, too," Scout said.

She shook her head, but she was smiling too.


Three stories up in the glass-window shopping super store, Miss Pauling was stuck in the ladies section. Scout had figured it'd be more animal prints, probably made from actual animals old man Hale had taken down, but this looked more like the usual business place. Kinda bland carpet pastel spotted beneath florescent lights and wooden dividers. Wooden benches were all over the place, and Scout had taken in one which was nearest to Miss Pauling. He had to wonder if they were trying to make a world record for the most uncomfortable frigging benches ever. Good thing he had an amazing ass to deal with. Yeah, he was a champion sitter.

He leaned back with his behind his neck. Maybe old man Hale was waiting on decorating. He'd probably bought some guy out for this. Or, beaten the guy in mortal combat, knowing him.

Miss Pauling looked over two identical lavender blouses. He didn't have any bags to carry, but he was still helping, sort of. Unlike every other guy ever— other than Spy, at least— Scout could actually stand shopping. His ma used to drag him out when she shopped because he was the youngest. She'd always said Honey, this is for your own good. One day you'll have a wife and you'll have to carry her bags.

She was completely right, as always. It was all thanks to his ma that he was this awesome sensitive boyfriend who held bags and didn't complain at his girlfriend when she took forever to choose between two blouses that were exactly the same.

She bent over to study yet another identical pair of clothes, and he drank in the sight of her. He let out a whistle, and she turned around, blushing a bit.

"Scout," she said, in that hot schoolteacher voice of hers.

He grinned at her. "Hey, babe, why don't you get both?" Scout said.

"Hmmm," she said. By now, she was already studying some purple skirts that weren't much different than every other one she had.

He squirmed in his seat. Fricking skirts, he was way cooler than them. Maybe if he told her a great joke her attention would be back on him.

Mann co had really updated its digs lately. Apparently they took over some fancy department store as well, which was kind of a surprise. Sure, the big guy loved money, but he also liked manly things. Fighting bears and hotpants and stuff. Not women's clothes and women's... Ihello/I—

Scout craned his neck as he caught sight of Mann's Choice Ladies' Delicates. He didn't even know that old man Hale knew what the world delicate meant. Maybe one of his underlings did that part, because if old man Hale had done it, Scout was pretty sure it'd feature animal prints more.

He inched out of the seat and looked over the divider. Some of the stuff in there looked like it was made with postage stamps and floss. He took a sharp intake of breath as his mind instantly went to her wearing them. Holy crap was that a purple thong over there? Her ass would look Iamazing /I in that.

Miss Pauling cleared her throat.

Scout jerked around, nearly falling out of the chair in the process. "I wasn't lookin' at a girl, I was imagin' you in those!" he burst out, loud enough to get several salesgirls looking at him.

"...why don't you go get something from the food court and meet me at the swimwear section?" she said.


He took some steps back and then set off on a run, using the bench as a step as he launched himself up over the divider.

"Old man Hale would've wanted me to!" Scout called back.

He hit up a place that was already stocking morning food, got some more delicious coffee and some croissants because damn if she didn't love them. He was more a meat kind of guy, so he grabbed a sausage and egg breakfast sandwich.

He wanted to sprint back, fueled with the kind of caffeine which people who weren't as awesome as him would probably explode from and the need to see her again. What could he say? Bikinis were a really good motivator.

However, hot coffee down his shirt was just not happening, so he took it slow. It took a lot of self control to not just charge down the hall and leap over some chucklenuts who got in his way, but hey, for her, he could do anything. Even go slow once in a while.

Scout finally came to the swimwear section, his gaze caught by a red speedo. He lifted it over. On one hand, he could put the goods on display for his girl. On the other hand, Spy had once worn a speedo, and now he couldn't get the mental image of the asshole wearing it for his mother.

He put the speedo aside. Spy frigging ruined everything.

Scout looked around more. Two pieces were in this season, and damn if he didn't approve of this.

"Over here," she called, and he looked out, balancing the food and trying not to spill it in his enthusiasm. She was wearing a classy black one piece. It fit well in this fifties way, with ribbed material and a strapless top. He let out a low whistle.

"So I'll take wolf whistles as a grading system, then?" she said.

"What can I say, babe? You leave me speechless," he said.

"Who'd have thought?" she said.

She disappeared back into the changing room and he leaned against the wall. Waiting was never his specialty, but he'd waited a lot for her. Years and years, so much that a few hours or minutes weren't anything by comparison.

Next up was a little purple two piece that she kept adjusting, and looking down at the bottom and frowning as she tried to pull it up. Women were always down with that diet thing, watching their weight and whatever. She rubbed her hand over her belly and touched her thighs, sighing as she stepped back to lean against the door.

"That's the last time I let you take me out for ice cream," she said.

"For the last friggin' time, you're cute all over, especially when your face is covered in chocolate."

"Easy for you to say, you have height to spare and an endless metabolism," she said.

"It'll only make your ass and tits more awesome than they already are, and hey, bellies are cute! Especially yours."

She gave him this look that was somewhere between affection and annoyance. He shrugged and grinned at her innocently.

"Didn't your mother ever teach you that you shouldn't talk about woman's age and weight?" she said.

"Yeah, I know I'm not supposed to say that to a girl, but it's true! It's cute! I ain't ever gonna ditch you for gettin' curvier. What can I say, tiny older women with curves who run the whole damn place are super hot."

"What am I going to do with you?" Miss Pauling said with an exasperated, yet affectionate sigh.

"I could suggest some things," Scout said, waggling his eyebrows at her.

She was already pulling at the bathing suit again, though.

"Most are the same kind, and the rest didn't fit," she said. She grimaced at the last part.

"Then get the first one, if it makes you most comfortable," he said.

It took a lot to say it, because he had to actually tell the part of him which was screaming Ibut, cute midriff!/I to shut it. But he didn't want her being uncomfortable for a minute, not even if she was totally wrong and looked super cute in it.

"All right," she said. She disappeared back into the changing room, and was back out in a few, carrying the bathing suit and another bag.

He had already hefted a bunch of bags up of the same other frigging clothing she always wore.

"I got you something," she said.

She handed over the other bag, and he looked into to see two pairs from the Delicates store: one lavender thong and one purple silky set which he couldn't wait to rub his face in.

"But babe," he said. "They ain't my size."

"Scout—" She said in exasperation.

"Just kiddin'!" He laughed and leaned down to kiss her. "They're perfect. You're perfect, you know that? Friggin' amazin'."

"You're pretty awesome, yourself," she said low and soft against his lips, before she kissed him again.

And what could be better than that? He even managed to not spill the coffee.

They checked out of the store to streetlights and dampened starlight. All the way home he had his feet on the dash while the radio played, his hand on her thigh just to feel her and know she was there.

The news he wasn't paying attention to went off and the station turned to classical music. He usually wouldn't go for some high class crap like that, but for her, he could make exceptions.