CURSE YOUR WRITERS BLOCK! - that's about all I have to say =_= oh! That and I'M REALLY SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER! Oh and Aladdin is going really well! We just have two more weeks so HOPEFULLY I'll be updating more often. :D yay! This chapter has an interesting twist. I'm curious to know if you think Russia is lying or telling the truth. You're not going to find out for quite some time, but I'm curious to know what you think XD
"LET ME SEE WEST!" I screamed at Russia, sobbing. He slapped me. I hardly noticed I was so used to it. "Why can't I see him?" I fell to my knees crying.
"You don't understand." He sighed. "He's not who you think he is…"
"S…shut up…" I looked up at him, tears streaming.
"Oh GDR…" He knelt beside me and put his arm around me. "You don't understand…"
I let him hug me. Even hugged back. He always comforted me now.
"I need to show you something." He sighed, taking my hand and leading me into the study in the house. He spent a few minutes searching though files on his computer before he found what he was looking for. "Here…" He sighed again. He pulled me gently to the computer and played a video. It was the four big countries talking. Just like they had been when I'd gone in to save my brother… then West walked in. I looked at the time stamp on the video. It was more than two hours before I'd done said volunteering. He talked with them for a while, and I couldn't make it out, the audio on the video wasn't good, but I knew they were shouting. Russia messed with some settings on the video and the audio got a bit clearer, and he turned up the volume.
"I need to rebuild!" West shouted at them. "My people were destroyed by this war!"
"We know that. Russia can help you." England said flatly and calmly.
"I don't want Russia's help! This is something I need to do alone." West still yelled at them.
"There's nothing to be done. At the world meeting we will announce it."
"Nein! I won't go! Take East! I'm not going." Then he stormed out.
It felt like someone punched me. He… WHAT!? I stared at the screen when the video ended. I didn't move, just stared at the screen. "D…did you… make this up?" I whispered.
Russia sighed and put his hand on my shoulder. "Nyet… I didn't…"
I closed my eyes, tears falling down my cheeks as I did. Turning back I looked up at Russia… were those tears in his eyes too.
"I'm so sorry GDR…" He whispered. "I thought I should show you once I found that…"
I nodded. "I… danke… I…" I bit my lip, starting to cry harder… He squeezed my shoulder comfortingly, and I turned to hug him, clinging to him for comfort and crying on his shoulder. He hugged me back.
"Sh… sh…" He cooed with a sigh. "I'm so sorry…"
I just sobbed…
"This is your home now." He whispered. "I'll take care of you."
I nodded, still sobbing.
"Now." He pried me off his shoulders and looked at me, slipping off his glove and brushing away my tears. "You should go clean up." He smiled almost tenderly. Was this what a Sane Russia was like? I just nodded, getting up and walking away…
"GDR?" He stopped me before I had cleared the door.
"Ja?" I turned back to look at him.
"I won't ask you to work the rest of today." He nodded.
"Danke." I smiled gratefully. I walked out of his study and straight to the medicine cabinet. Who cared anymore? I took everything and went back to my room, locking the door and pulling out what I'd taken. I ignored all the 'safety' stuff and just got some of the drug into my arm as fast as I could… and not a low dose. I felt a little better instantly, never mind that I felt guilty too. I hid all the drugs and syringes and needles and flopped on my bed where I cried and cried and cried… until the drugs kicked in and I relaxed… and eventually fell asleep.
I woke up to Latvia cleaning the broken vein in my arm. I pulled it away. "Good morning." I smiled.
"It's the middle of the night Gil…" He sighed.
"Oh… what are you doing up?"
"Checking on you." He smiled sadly.
I sighed. "How did you know?"
"The medicine cabinet wasn't organized and I saw what was missing."
"Why were you in the medicine cabinet?" My stomach dropped. Somehow me taking drugs was ok, but not Latvia.
"Headache." He sighed.
"Latvia…?" I wasn't sure if I believed him…
"Really Gil. I wouldn't… do this…" he pointed to my arm. I bruised so easily… the skin was broken and the bruise was huge… VERY obvious. At least it was cold enough to warrant long sleeves. Winter was coming on and it was colder by the day.
"Please stop doing this Gil." Latvia started crying.
"I… I can't."
"Latvia don't cry…" I touched his cheek.
"But you're scaring me!" He was crying more now.
"Fine! Keep doing it! Keep killing yourself!" He threw down the cloth he was using on my arm and crumpled into a little puddle of tears.
I sighed, crawling down next to him and holding him. "Sh… sh… Latvia please don't cry… please don't cry…"
"Please don't do this to yourself anymore Gil… please don't…" He sobbed.
I choked, trying hard not to cry too. "Latvia…
"Gil…" He looked at me, his big eyes shinning up at me, his tears streaming.
"I… I can't…"
Latvia stood up, picking up the cloth and the rest of the first aid stuff. He put the gauze bandage into my hand and walked out of my room without another word…
I sat down on my bed. What just happened? Did Latvia really just leave me like that? Had I hurt him that much? I called for him again. Then I ran out of my room and found him crying in my living room.
"Oh Latvia…" I hugged him.
"Gil stop! Please stop!" He sobbed.
"Ok… Ok I'll try…D…does Russia know?" I winced. I'd found where he kept the drugs several months ago and had been using on and off since then.
"No." Latvia sighed.
"How long have you known?"
"Since you started the first time." He sighed.
I winced. "You didn't tell me you knew…"
"I didn't want you to get mad at me…"
"I wouldn't have gotten mad at you." I sighed, hugging him.
I smiled sadly. "Just… stop using them? Please?" He sighed.
I nodded. "Ok I'll stop." I sighed.
"I'll help you as much as I can." He smiled up at me.
I smiled back. "Thanks Latvia." I hugged him. "You should go back now. I don't want Russia to get mad at you…"
He nodded. "See you in the morning." He smiled.
I nodded. "Yeah."
He walked out and I sobbed. I fell asleep on the couch after crying myself to sleep. Again.