Song: Three Wishes by The Pierces
With Teddy all tucked away and a manuscript sitting on my lap, completely neglected, I stare out over Berlin and watch the light traffic and take in the sight of the historic buildings and modern architecture bathed in the warm orange glow of the streetlights. Of course we are staying in the penthouse of the Walforf Astoria, a towering hotel with all the modern amenities and décor anyone could ask for. I am currently sitting on a plush black velvet wrap around couch, taking in the view behind me and doing my best not to fall asleep, but I am quickly failing. I have yet to adjust to the time change the way Teddy so quickly adapted and I slept poorly on the plane due to turbulence. However, it is getting late and I don't think I am going to last much longer. But I have to do my best, seeing as Teddy got sick over our preplanned weekend, and I felt bad sending him off to Grace and Carrick in such a miserable state. Though Christian did stop by to see how our son was doing, any mood that may have arisen was ruined when Teddy vomited down my shirt.
With a yawn and a stretch, I hang over the back of the couch and try to force some blood to my brain. If I can at least stay awake long enough to tell him goodnight, I would feel as if I accomplished something.
A warm body presses against my backside as half my body dangles over the edge. I feel the weight of his body press down on the cushion as he kneels.
"May I ask what you are doing Anastasia?" he inquires, wrapping two muscular arms around me and pulling me flush against his chest.
After batting away the little bit of a head rush, I tell him. "Waiting for you so that I could say goodnight, I can barely keep my eyes open." I mutter.
He pushes away the tendrils of hair that have fallen from my bun and kisses my shoulder. "I apologize. Both Ros and I were not amused by the antics they pulled, and things ran longer than expected."
I look at the clock on the wall and smile. "It's only nine thirty. I just haven't adjusted yet. One good night of sleep should have me good to go." I say, fighting away a yawn.
"I know something that will help you sleep." He purrs into my ear. His hands moving down and stroking my inner thighs.
I clench them tight and sigh. "You know we shouldn't, Teddy-"
"Is passed out and by all accounts oblivious to the world. He rarely ever wakes after a certain time and seeing as he insisted on his own room, 'like a big boy' we have a pretty decent window for me to properly tuck you in." he starts to kiss up my neck and I do my best not to give in.
"And if he wakes?" I breathe out as he grinds into my backside, his prominent hard on doing nothing to help my resolve.
"Well I wouldn't fuck you in the sitting room." He bounces off the couch and scoops me into his arms bridal style before I can protest.
My poor discarded manuscript is dumped to the floor. Christian kicks the door to the master suite shut behind him and drops me to my feet.
He silences me with a kiss and pulls my body firm against his. I know I shouldn't, that I should stick to our no funny business agreement, but instead I let him ravage my mouth as we strip each other of our clothes. I try to move towards the bed, but he keeps me rooted. But I don't question it, I just hope that his hands start to move south of my hair.
My fingers clutch at his copper tresses and I try to entice him by rubbing my body against his. His cock is sandwiched between is, throbbing with need and I am so wet at the moment that it is starting to get uncomfortable.
"What are you doing?" I whine.
He smiles against my cheek before he kisses me. "Just making sure."
"Making sure of what?"
He palms my behind and grips on tight before hoisting me up and wrapping my legs around his waist.
"That you won't fall asleep on." He chuckles.
He carried me into the bathroom, and I catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror of the vanity in the floor to ceiling marble bathroom, I giggle at how tiny I look in his arms.
He reaches into the shower and turns on the water. He presses a few buttons on the keypad and the shower heads on the ceiling start to flow.
Stepping into the shower clearly built for ten people, he presses me against the warm wall and resumes his assault of my mouth. He unwraps my legs from around his waist and starts palming my breasts before taking my right nipple into his mouth and sucking.
"Christian" I moan out, gripping him tighter as his ministrations send jolts of pleasure straight to my core.
He releases my nipple from between his teeth and kisses the space between breast, before sliding down my body and onto his knees in front of me. He peppers the space just above my hip bone before sliding his fingers against my slick folds. I quiver and whimper at his ministrations, closing my eyes and bucking my hips for more friction. He throws one of my legs over his shoulder and starts sucking on my clit while his fingers slide inside of me and curl slightly. Each thrust threatens to send me over the edge as he flicks his tongue over, and over again, while fucking me with his fingers.
"You taste so fucking good, Ana." he growls against me. I rub against his face and arch my bag from the wall as my orgasm builds.
"I-I'm coming." I pant, as he quickens his actions and continues to devour everything I have to give.
I'm so close, and the promise of him fucking me again against this wall is threatening to knock my knees from under me.
Coiled tight and ready to erupt, I squeeze my eyes shut and to enjoy the mounting pressure in the pit of stomach.
"I know you're almost there Ana, come for me." I grunts.
"Go where, daddy?" A little voice questions. "And where is mommy, I can't find her anywhere?"
An Olympic sized pool of ice cold water is thrown over my raging libido, and a quick glance at a deflating Christian tells me I am not alone. Whether because of the steam in the room, or the frosted glass Teddy isn't yet aware that I am in the shower as well and I want to keep it that way.
I encourage Christian to his feet and hide behind his broad shoulders.
"Mommy-er-stepped out for a moment to talk to Taylor. She will be right back though, buddy." Christian quickly lies. "Why don't you go back to your room and I'll come tuck you in again."
The toilet seat snaps shut and I see his blurry figure climb atop it.
This is not good.
"Why are you in mommy's room?" Teddy continues, completely ignoring his father's instruction.
Christian gives me a knowing look before asking our far too perceptive son. "Mommy has a better bathroom than I do, and she gave me permission to use it."
"Oh." Is his only reply. "Do you think mommy is telling Taylor about the tall man?"
It's a great thing my life didn't depend on his secrecy, otherwise I'd be a rotting corpse. Of course I can't fault him, he's only four. But we really will have to work on the concept of keeping ones mouth shut.
"What man?" Christian questions, instead of encouraging our son to leave.
His brow quirks in my direction and I feel completely defenseless, knowing that the only explanation he will be getting at the moment is our son's.
"We went to the park with Luke, and it was really fun. I went on all the big kid slides and mommy took pictures that I can show you, but a man in a ugly blue shirt kept trying to talk to mommy. I told him that he couldn't talk to her, because she had to take my picture. But he wouldn't listen- then Luke came over and said he was going to kick the man's butt. But he didn't use that word, mommy said I can't use the real word."
"A strange man accosting my family, and no one called me?" Christian grumbles beneath his breath.
"I'll explain." I whisper as lightly as I can. "Get him out of here."
"Yes, Teddy?" Christian answers, trying to keep his tone light for the sake of our son.
"When mommy has a brother or sister, can I name him?"
I nearly choke on the air around me at his question, but Christian stays calm as a cucumber.
"Why do you think mommy is having a baby?" Christian reaches behind his back and presses me against him.
He can't possibly think I would be acting so calm around him this entire time if I was pregnant.
"Blair's mommy is having a baby and he said it's because she kisses his daddy a lot. And well, I saw you and mommy kissing, even though you told me to go to sleep." His blurry blue pajama clad body bounces on the seat. "So can I name him? I wanna name the baby Bloo or turtle. Can I?"
Despite the hot water pouring down upon us, I can see the flush wash across his shoulders at our son's woefully wrong assumption.
"I'm sorry buddy, but Mommy isn't having a baby." That I know of. Are probably the words he's thinking.
"Can you kiss her again? If Ava can't live with us, then maybe I can have a brother?" I can practically see the pout on Teddy's face. "When Marcus leaves, I won't have anyone else to play with again. You and mommy are too busy." His voice quivers a bit at the end and my heart all but breaks.
"I-" he starts before his voice falters. "How about, you go find daddy's tablet in my room, and pick a story, and we can talk more about this. Okay, buddy?"
He hops off the toilet. "Can we read Shrek again?"
"Anything you want." Christian assures him. "But you gotta hurry before mommy comes back and tells you it's bedtime."
"Okay!" I bounces towards the door and slams it shut, leaving us both to sag against the wall.
So we can discuss the real issue, I quickly fill him in on what has set his jaw and soured his mood.
"One, I am not pregnant. Two, he was homeless, I gave him money, he was a little too thankful, Luke and Alphonse the guy Taylor hired quickly set him straight. I asked them to say nothing until after your meeting, and yes I know that you are pissed. Yes, I know that you probably want to throttle Luke and Alphonse, and no you may not."
Christian towers over me, water dripping off his sculpted muscles and strong features. "I may not?"
"No, you may not." I assert.
His arms straighten on either side of my head, trapping me…again. "You cannot keep telling me what to do with my staff." he grinds out.
"I just didn't want you trying to beat up someone who was already down on his luck. He just wanted to say thank you, he didn't mean any harm." I say. "And you are the one that's been listening to me." I create a little splash when I stomp my foot.
"Did you just stomp your foot the way our four year old does when he doesn't get his way? I have every right to know when my family is in danger. And before you say it, this has nothing to do with control and everything to do with wanting to make sure you and Teddy are safe."
I fold my arms. "I am not the one about to go ream people out for doing their jobs."
"Their jobs are to report to me, Ana."
"Well then just consider Teddy and I liaisons."
His hands wrap themselves into my hair and he comes in close. "You and that smart fucking mouth of yours. You have no idea what I would do if our son wasn't counting down the seconds."
"Whatever happened to baby steps?" I breathe out.
He kisses the corner of my lips and sighs. "Whatever happened to full disclosure?"
"You want to spank me now, don't you?" I say to goad him into a response, to be honest I am a bit excited over the prospect of what he may do.
Christian chuckles. "When he is asleep, and I mean really asleep. I'll be coming to see you." He steps out of the shower and wraps an oversized towel around his waist. "Even if that means posting Sawyer at Teddy's door all night."
He says with a kiss and a wink before leaving me tired and wet…in every sense of the word.
With a sigh and an adolescent pout that I have no reason to hide. I quickly finish my shower and dress in a pair of yoga pants and a plain white tank top. Despite his exciting threat of continuing our shower escapades, I really am tired and knowing that Teddy saw us and is probably terribly confused makes this all seem like a very bad idea.
It just reaffirms one of my greatest fears about this entire situation…it's not just Christian and I who have something to lose if all this shit hits the proverbial fan.
I lay down on the fluffy mountain of pillows, with every intention of getting up and saying a final goodnight to my two boys, but my eyelids have other plans.
I stir when a hot arm snakes around my waist and pulls me from the edge of the bed.
"You talked such a big game and now I find you curled up in an air conditioned room with no bra. Whatever am I going to do with you?" he whispers into my ear.
I will myself to roll over but I can't force my eyes back open. So I talk to him with my eyes closed tight.
"We can't have sex, Teddy may surprise us again." I mutter.
Christian stiffens. "I talked to him about that, but he's already formulated his own thoughts on the matter."
I crack an eye open, fearful of what he is about to say next. "What did he say?"
"Well, before he passed out in my arms, he told me more about that little friend of his. He wants everyone to live together and be a big happy family, and for us to be together so that we can give him someone to play with and he doesn't understand why we kiss if we don't live together. It's hard to explain to a four year old that his father ruined things by being a selfish asshole."
Suddenly wide awake, I pull myself from his embrace and sit up and away from him. "You didn't tell him, did you?" I hiss.
Christian sits up to join me, his chest bare and flush, making his tiny white scars stand out even more.
"Of course not." He says. "I'd prefer the word affair not be in our son's vocab."
I rub my hands over my face. "How many times do I have to tell you? It wasn't all you."
"You're just trying to make me feel better." He snaps. "I'm not a child, I can own up to my responsibilities and mistakes."
"You really think this is just about you dicking around with another woman? You really think that's the whole reason that I left? Christian, if it was just about the affair then I wouldn't be here, we wouldn't be talking or sleeping together or trying. You can't take on all of this and think that you're right. Because you aren't."
"Damn it Ana, are we really arguing about who fucked up our marriage?" he says, running his hands through his hair.
"No, we're arguing about the fact that you aren't listening to me, again. I don't want to be the angel that broke you out of your shell, and I don't want to be that woman you held up to some ideal in your head." I stare at him, fighting with myself about whether I should tell him about the inevitability of our divorce. But he looks like a puppy with his leg caught in a fence and I just don't want to broach the subject at the moment.
I scoot close and take his face in my hands. "I love you, Christian Grey and I want this to work more than anything. But you need to stop taking this all on by yourself. If you keep acting as if you are all alone in this, then this won't work. This doesn't just depend on you…I'm in this too."
His forehead comes to rest against mine. "I know…it's just-it's just very hard to see it this way when we haven't even had a real discussion about what happened between us and I am the one who…betrayed our marriage." He says sounding exasperated.
"I know." I sigh. "We will have that talk, I promise. But with everything so fresh between us, I just want to enjoy our time together before taking it to another level."
I'm being honest about that part, someday I will tell him my complete side of things. Someday, when I build up the courage to face his reaction.
There is nothing I could say to quail the fear that I know is cutting through both of us, so I kiss him. It is not sensual or passionate, but it is hard and reaffirms that we are here in this moment together, and I want this as much as he does.
When we break away, he runs he thumb over my swollen bottom lip. "We still have to tell our son something." He chuckles, but it seems forced.
"If we tell him the truth, he'll just go and blab to everyone…which isn't a bad thing." I quickly add. "But if we tell him a lie it will be worse, you know how he holds onto things. He'll never trust us."
"Then what do you suggest. He was adamant that we were kissing, even when I tried to convince him that we were just hugging."
"Maybe-maybe we just tell him an edited version of the truth." I suggest, not really knowing where I am going with this.
"Go on" Christian prods, looking a bit smug and curious.
I slide off the bed and pace. "Well, everyone knows that we are at least friendly and some obviously know that we are in a relationship again… so what if we tell Teddy that mommy and daddy decided that they wanted to be friends again and that's why we are spending so much time together because that's what friends do."
"And the kissing?"
I roll my eyes.
"Anastasia." He growls in the back of his throat.
"Christian." I admonish. "We just tell him that sometimes mommies and daddies kiss when they are happy to see each other or sad to see each other go…he should buy it as long as we follow it up with a trip to an ice cream parlor or the zoo…maybe we should just tell him in front of a toy store."
Christian snatches me up and buries his face in my stomach. "That seems like a good way to talk around our situation until we feel ready to tell everyone. But you know the second we come clean about this, a sibling is going to be on the Christmas list." He says, kissing my belly.
He seems a bit too giddy, and I don't want it to be him and Teddy against the 'No' monster that I will most likely become…as all mother's eventually do. I do want more children, but I also want to continue with our baby steps, and bringing another life in the mix doesn't seem all that wise.
"Speaking of, you didn't sound the least bit upset when Teddy thought I was pregnant. You of all people should know that I wouldn't be able to keep that secret for long."
He pulls me back onto the bed and holds me tight on top of him. "The way I see it, if we had stayed together then I'm certain baby number three would be gearing up for delivery any day now."
Shocked by his words and how excited he seems over the prospect of our imaginary children, he takes full advantage and twists us around so that he is resting between my thighs. He pushes the hair from my face and rests his head on my chest.
"You have no idea of all the things I want to do with you."
"Like what?" I practically snort, knowing there is nothing he could say sexually that we probably haven't done.
"Vacation together, sit together during all of Teddy's school functions and celebrate the holidays together. I want to wake up with you on the pillow beside me, and plan more babies and hell, I may even buy Teddy that dog he's been whining about." He laughs, as I run my fingers through his soft waves. "I want to share everything with you Ana, I've spent enough time alone to know that you are the one I want to grow old with. I see every precious moment in my life spent with you by my side. I want us to be partners in everything…I couldn't handle losing you again."
Hearing all of his hopes and dreams laid bare brings tears to my eyes. Yes, everything feels great now and I want this to work so much that I get a headache between my eyes just thinking about it. I have shared these same fantasies and desires for years, and even when I tried to move on, I couldn't. He's being so open and honest, that I can't help but be taken my surprise.
"I want all of those things too." We didn't take this step to fail, and everything he says would simply be a natural progression of our relationship.
He settles in beside me and brings me onto his chest, only stiffening for a moment. As much as I would like to finish what we started, I am far more tired than I was before our little talk, and trying to stay awake is not a battle I am going to win.
"Go to sleep Ana. We have an entire week to catch up on our adult time." He mumbles, before his own breathing falls into an even rhythm that tells me he is asleep.
He can't possibly understand how badly I want this, and I have to find a way to start showing him.
The next morning I awake to find that the sun has barely started to rise and Christian is at the door, locking it.
"What are you doing?" I mumble through my sleepy haze.
He stalks towards me like a tiger coming across its prey. I can see the movement of his contracting muscles and the spark in his eye as he drags be underneath him and ravages my mouth. He grinds into me, stripping me of my yoga bottoms and of my top, but he stays dressed in his pajama bottoms.
Whether he realizes it or not, he is definitely taking control and it's clear that he is enjoying himself so who am I to point it out. This is the sort of harmless control that I know benefits both of us, and I really have no qualms about it, especially as he dips down my body and wraps my thighs around his neck.
My legs start to quiver and that delicious build that could only be brought about by this man's tongue soon has me muffling my cries of pleasure in one of the oh so soft pillows.
I have barely regained my breath when he pushes down his pants, freeing his hard on and slowly sinking inside of me.
He shutters and his shoulders pull taunt before he starts to move. His thrusts are deep and very thorough. My legs wrap around his waist as he bends over and captures my mouth once more. His muffled grunts, and my subdued moaning grow higher in pitch and I start gripping him harder as I build once more. His head falls to the crook of my neck as he lifts my ass to meet each thrust and despite knowing better in the back of my mind, I call out his name as I clench around him and feel him still inside of me and fill me with his hot cum.
Spent, we lay there until the sky starts to lighten with the sun's rays before taking a quick shower with minimal funny business and waking our son for breakfast. Christian has another day of meetings and Teddy and I have some more exploring to do with a Sawyer and Alphonse who seem ready to go into battle…Christian must have gotten to them but I don't know when.
After a very private kiss goodbye, Christian is out the door and Teddy and I are off the children's museum.
We are barely five minutes into our tour when my phone starts to vibrate in my pocket.
"Hello, Kate." I greet, still a bit dizzy from my post coital bliss.
"I knew it, I fucking knew it." She screeches. "You are fucking Christian Grey!"
"I didn't tell her shit, Ana!" I hear Elliot shout out in the background.
Well, my day is probably ruined.
First off : Thank you all for being so concerned and caring. You guys are such a lovely bunch.
So I think maybe two or three chapters before Grace and Carrick's anniversary party and you guys will be let in on some stuff and the pieces of information Ana has been keeping. You may also get a brief chapter afterwards chronically the disintegration of their marriage, but I'm unsure about how I want to do that. Only time will tell.
Just another thanks for all your support. I know my story isn't super heavy on lemons, simply because if it doesn't seem to fit I won't force it. So once again, thanks for all of the follows and reviews.