A/N: Last night I got drunk. On the way home from dinner, I suddenly felt the need to write, so I asked SuperMandy77 for a prompt.

"What would happen if Castle got drunk and tried to write and Kate tried to read it?" she asked. And thus, Drunk Writing was born.

Encouraged along the way by Mandy and Ms_TGR, I continued to drink and to write. As it turns out, drunkenness doesn't affect my writing all that much...there were no more spelling or grammar mistakes than there usually would be, and maybe it's actually a little funnier. Anyways, I hope you like it. I sure had a ton of fun writing it. I literally giggled the whole way through as I pictured it in my head.


"Kate I HAVE to write!"

"Castle you're drunk. This is NOT the time to write."

"No Kate, I'm perfectly fine. And I have all these ideas in my head. I have to get them down NOW or they'll be gone and I'll NEVER GET THEM BACK! You don't want to be responsible for that do you?"

"Castle, I don't want to be responsible for anything right now. I want you to take me to bed and have your way with me."

"Kate, you're not hearing me. I'm going to have my way with you. On the page."

"I want you to have your way with me IN THE BED not on the page."

"Kate, *hic* I am an artist." She looked at him skeptically, raising an eyebrow. "I am! I am an artist. With words. You can't *hic* get in the way of my *hic* creative genius."

"Seriously?"

He looked at her pointedly, though from the alcohol coursing through his system, he was less than convincing.

"No, seriously?" She asked again in disbelief. "You're turning down having sex with your girlfriend, who is incredibly horny and feeling incredibly adventurous, I might add, so you can write down what you want to do to me ON PAPER? SERIOUSLY?"

Castle paused for a moment as he considered her words. He finally confirmed her fears stating, with a goofy grin on his face. "Trust me Kate. This is going to be better."

She stopped in her tracks, mouth hanging open in disbelief, as he continued to make a bee-line for his office. She stood there still as he opened his laptop, the eerie glow from the computer screen the only illumination in the loft.

"Unbelievable," she muttered.

Finally gathering herself together, she ambled drunkenly to his bedroom, calling through his office door as she passed by, "Castle, if this isn't the absolute best thing you've ever written in your life you are going to be so sorry."

Castle hopped up from his chair and sauntered into the bedroom. He climbed on top of her where she had collapsed face down on his bed. His legs straddled hers and his hands supported his weight on either side of her body. He leaned his head down until his lips grazed her ear, his body pressing down on hers.

"Kate, I'm gonna make you *hic* quiver just from reading this. Belie- *hic* belie- *hic* trust me." He pulled the hair away from her neck and sucked forcefully like a vampire going for blood.

Kate moaned from the pressure below her jaw. She turned her head towards his and found his lips with hers. She tried to roll over onto her back but the weight of his body on hers prevented her from moving.

"Castle," she moaned.

He lowered himself down even harder, his aroused body pressing suggestively into hers. Castle lifted one hand to graze his fingers down her cheek, her chin, her neck, until he reached the swelling mound of her breasts. Kate twisted her body as much as she could to allow him easier access.

"Mmmmm...this is good..." he mumbled with his lips still pressed against hers. Castle continued to grope at her chest, the thin silk of her dress and the lace of her bra providing little barrier to his ministrations.

"Oh, Castle, yes." Kate finally felt like he was going to give her just what she needed.

"Yeah, I can use this...totally..." he mumbled into her neck.

Kate stopped, her body going rigid, as his words sunk in. "What?"

Castle pulled up and looked at her, the expression on her face not quite what he was expecting. "What?"

"No, YOU what."

"Huh?"

"Castle!"

"Kate!"

"Are you using this for ... RESEARCH?"

"Well...I..." he leaned back down searching for the spot on her neck that he knew could make her moan.

"Castle!"

"What?" he kept trying to capture that spot, but his aim seemed to be off. She wasn't responding the way she usually did.

"Stop saying 'What'!"

"Wha...um...Huh?"

"Castle!"

"No, seriously, what?"

"Castle, if you are using this as research, I'm going to kill you."

Castle finally gave up on finding that spot on her neck and lifted his body up so he could look down at her face. He had absolutely no idea what the problem was.

This was going to be EPIC. Could be the most prolific writing of his career.

"Kate, come on now. It's not research. It's...inspiration. There's totally a difference."

Kate turned forcefully and pushed him off her. He landed with a thump on the floor. "Ooof. Kate? What's wrong? I don't..."

"Castle," she huffed standing up and walking into the bathroom. "Go write your book." She slammed the door shut and clicked the lock as he sat befuddled, staring at the door.

"Kate..." he whined, still not sure what he'd done wrong.

Whatever, he finally thought, I'm gonna go write the best thing she's ever read. She'll see. I'll show her. And then she'll be so sorry. And she's gonna THANK ME in many, many physical ways.

Castle heaved up onto his feet, not the steadiest he'd ever been, and walked towards his office. Muttering as he went, he questioned her questioning of his ability given his state...until he walked heavily into the dresser, slamming it against the wall before he righted himself. As he steadied his gate and forced his mind to think more clearly about what he was doing, he walked into his office and sat down at his computer.

This. Is going to be. Amazing.


Kate woke up with a spear of light beaming directly through the blinds into her eyes.

Oh god, what happened last night?

She turned over in bed enough to see that Castle was nowhere in sight.

"Ugghhhh" she groaned, her head pounding fiercely. What the hell happened last night?

Kate rolled over onto her back, the heel of her hands digging harshly into eyes. Her brain slowly recounted the hours she could remember before she fell heavily into sleep.

They went to a fundraiser.

It was incredibly boring. If it hadn't been for Castle and his game of "drink every time you see a bored couple" she wouldn't have made it halfway through the event.

They had made up stories about all the ridiculously rich and annoyed couples they had seen, laughing together as they described absurd stories that accompanied the sour expressions each pair wore. It was the most fun they had had in a very long time. It felt good.

After being accosted separately by various other donors to the New York Public Library Fund, they had managed to find their way drunkenly to a taxi at the hotel entrance. They had giggled like teenagers on their first date as they opened the door, barely noticing the driver. Barely noticing the various paparazzi snapping photos as they fell unceremoniously into the back seat.

Kate started to collect herself, waking up more thoroughly, looking around the room. She noticed that she had at least managed to take off her dress. The navy silk Calvin Klein dress had cost Castle a small fortune, but he had refused to let her buy anything less. She lay on the bed in her black lace panties and bra, the silk sheets tangled around her legs.

But where the hell was Castle?

He had come home with her, of that she was sure.

She remembered coming in the front door. Taking off his jacket, and then...

Kate shook her head trying to free up the cobwebs, to make it all make sense. Did he turn her down? Then they were in bed? But she threw him on the floor?

What the hell happened last night?

"Castle?" she called out as loudly as she dared, her head pounding with the sound of a full on marching band. She groaned in dismay at the sound.

Kate's eyes flew open as a loud crash filled the otherwise silent room. It was like someone was throwing a tv to the ground.

"Oh shit..." she heard his voice. Distant. Coming from the direction of his office. Accompanied by a loud thud.

What the hell?

"Ohhhhh...Kate...?" His muffled voice sounded far away and close at the same time. Kate rolled onto her side so she could peer, with less effort, into his office. As her brain slowly allowed her to focus, her eyes widened.

"Castle?" She managed to force her body into a sitting position, despite the throbbing in her head, convinced that was the only way she could make sense of what she was seeing.

Castle's moan of agony helped her spring into motion. She rose from the bed and managed, somehow, to make her way to the door. "Castle are you okay?"

She looked down to find him in the most uncomfortable position she could have imagined. Castle had fallen from his desk chair and was mostly lying on the floor. It was clear that he had likely had his feet up on the desk before he had crashed unceremoniously to the ground because one foot was still perched on the desk. The other had gotten stuck as he fell, on the armrest of his desk chair. He was almost literally upside down. His laptop lay at his side, the screen cracked in several places at haphazard angles.

Oh shit.

"Castle, are you okay?"

"Ugh...Kate...?" he moaned again. "Whahappened?"

Kate moved clumsily into the room and fell in a heap next to him. "I have no idea." She said as he collapsed around him.

"Why do I feel so terrible?" he asked.

Her eyes still closed she answered, "Maybe because you drank too much last night?"

"Ugh. No, that's not it."

"Maybe because you just fell out of your chair?"

"...ow..." he moved clumsily, attempting to free the foot that was tangled uncomfortably in the chair. Eventually he gave up, unsuccessful. "Nope."

She thought for a moment as her hand moved and heavily thumped on his chest. "Maybe because you turned down a night of outrageously amazing sex?"

"Uuuugggggghhhhh...ya...that's it." Castle turned his head slightly to the side so he could at least see Kate out of the corner of his eye. "Did I really do that?" he grumbled, not really knowing for sure if he did or if it was a very bad, very stupid dream.

"Yes," Kate replied matter-of-factly. "You did."

"Ugggghhhhh..."

"Ya. Ditto."

After a few more moments of collecting themselves, Rick awkwardly rolled to his side, his feet still aloft, and looked at Kate.

"Are you okay? I feel like maybe you had a lot to drink last night."

Kate opened one eye to peer at him in the day light. "You think?" She closed her eye again as waves of nausea rolled through her. "I think we probably both had too much to drink."

Rick forced himself to swallow, his mouth feeling like the inside of a motorman's glove. "Mmmmm. Understatement of the year."

They continued to lie on the floor. Each unsure of whether they wanted, or needed to get up.

"Castle?" Kate finally ventured, still wishing she could simply be silent. Wishing the world could be silent. And dark.

"Ya?"

"Is anyone else here?"

Castle thought for a moment, trying to remember Alexis' and his mother's plans for the day. It was hard enough to remember his own name, why was she trying to make him think of things far more complicated?

"Uh...no? Alexis...library. Mother...rehearsal? Date? Ummmm...I don't...no, no one is here. I don't think."

"You don't think?"

"Kate, I'm hungover. My head is pounding and my stomach is telling me I drank WAY too much. I really have no idea where ANYONE is. I'm not even really sure where I am."

Kate moaned in acquiescence. Who was she to judge anyways? "Ya. Okay."

After a few moments more, Castle finally moved, pushing his desk chair away at an alarming speed. The sound of it crashing against the far wall caused them both to start. Castle rolled onto his stomach, his feet finally free from their lofty prisons. The blood came rushing back into them in waves, causing excruciating pins and needles.

Placing his palms firmly on the ground, Castle tried to raise his body up. "Holy shit. Seriously Kate, what the hell happened last night?"

"Hmmmm?" Kate had started to doze on the cold hard floor of his office. His voice barely made it through the fog in her head.

"Ugh...okay, this is gonna suck, but we need to get to bed. Come on. Get up." Rick's voice belied the terribly ill feeling that was ravaging his insides. "Kate, get up."

"No. Not moving."

"Kate. Get. Up. Now."

"Ugh...noooooo..."

Castle managed to pull himself to his knees, his head still resting on his lap. He swayed unsteadily as the room began to spin. Oh god, this was really going to suck. "Kate! Get up! Now!"

"Wha...?" Kate's eyes flew open at the sound of his voice, and just as quickly closed to block out the light. "Oh my god, Castle. What the hell? Why do I feel so bad?"

"Um, the 'why are they so boring' drinking game?" Castle thought back to the night before.

"Oohhhhh. Why are there so many boring people at those charity balls? Can't you find some more interesting people to hang out with?"

Castle ignored her comment and raised his hand to the flat surface of his desk. Pushing with all his might he managed to get himself at least mostly upright. He reached down, as chivalrous as he could possibly be in that moment, and grabbed Kate's hands. "Get up."

"No...just leave me here."

"I'm not leaving you here. Get up."

"Ughhhh..." Finally, with every ounce of strength they both possessed, Castle managed to pull Kate to her feet, and they managed to walk, unsteadily back to the bedroom. They both collapsed unceremoniously to the bed, neither bothering to adjust where they landed, their clothes, or the covers.

They slept like the dead for several more hours.


"Oh, god, seriously?" Kate finally managed to voice her pain.

Castle, lying in a rumpled mess beside her, shifted slightly, roused by the sound of her voice.

"Ughhhh...whereamI? Wasssgoinon?"

Kate rolled over and opened one eye, all that she dared given the amount of light streaming into the room, and glanced at the alarm clock on the night stand.

"Ugh, seriously? It's only 9:30? Really?" She voiced incredulously at the sight.

"Kate? Wasssgoinon?" His incoherence did not seem to diminish with time.

"Nothing, go back to sleep. It's still early." Kate's eyes finally opened fully and she realized that was all the sleep her body and Mother Nature were going to allow her. Her penance for drinking too much was that she would not be allowed to fully sleep it out.

Rolling over, she looked at Castle's rumpled face and his mess of hair, both mashed messily into the pillow beside her. Why did he get to still be asleep? Kate's mind whined, jealous of his ability to sleep hours and hours longer than she ever could. He always woke up looking well-rested and rumpled and adorable, while she was tired and grumpy and disheveled. It truly wasn't fair.

Knowing she wasn't going to get any more rest, Kate made her way in to the bathroom, hoping a hot shower would rouse her more and put her in a better mood.

If only such a glorious thing could actually work.

When Kate finally emerged from the bathroom, she knew it was going to be a long day of recovery. Whatever they had done last night was not working it's way through her system nearly quickly enough. She padded silently through his room, pulling on one of Castle's well-worn t-shirts as she went and made her way straight to the coffee maker. At this point, nothing else mattered.

After the coffee had brewed, Kate took her steaming mug to his office. She was determined to know that all his posturing the night before and her lack of physical satisfaction had been for the sake of his craft. Never before had Kate looked at his unedited work without his permission. She always waited for his invitation to read and provide input, and she rarely tried to edit the words he had written. It was beyond her skills to really help with those little details.

But today, as he lay in an alcohol-induced slumber, she found herself unable to hold back. She absolutely had to see the ideas in his head that had put such a kibosh on ending their perfectly drunk evening in a satisfied sweaty pile on the bed.

As she moved into his office, she found his laptop still lying haphazardly on the floor. She picked it up carefully, finding the screen cracked in several places, no doubt from when he had crashed to the ground in the wee hours of the morning. As far as she could tell, it was still working, at least enough that she could make out the text on the screen.

She spied his chair still halfway across the room from where he had kicked it earlier and moved it back in front of his desk. Sitting down uneasily, Kate placed both hands on the desk beside the now righted laptop. She closed her eyes tightly and breathed deeply as she tried to quell the bile threatening to rise up into her throat. She lifted the coffee mug to her lips and drankly slowly, knowing the soothing taste and aroma would work, as it had in the past, to calm her roiling stomach.

Finally feeling settled enough to read what he had written, Kate opened her eyes and focussed on the words. She read them once, twice, a third time, before finally gathering enough strength to -

"CASTLE!"

The sound of movement in the next room broke the otherwise silent loft. He could tell from her tone that this was serious and despite his inability to fully comprehend where he was or what was going on, Castle knew he needed to get up and go to her.

Stumbling clumsily into his office, pajama pants sagging below his butt, only one arm into his t-shirt, Castle found his Kate. "What is it? What's wrong?" he asked with as much effort as he could possibly manage, a myriad of thoughts racing through his mind.

"THIS IS WHY YOU WOULDN'T HAVE SEX WITH ME LAST NIGHT?" Kate asked angrily. She stood and stormed past him, slamming the bedroom door behind her.

Completely unaware of what had just happened, Castle moved over to his desk chair and thumped down heavily, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He lifted her abandoned coffee cup to his lips and sipped the hot, bitter liquid, feeling it ease his hangover as it burned it's way down to his stomach.

As he cleared the cobwebs and focussed on the words, he put the coffee cup down and softly muttered, "Oh shit." This was going to take a lot of explaining.