My first foray into the world of Shingeki no Kyojin fanfiction is a one-shot, like I usually write. There are spoilers for the manga (chapter 31, I believe), so proceed with caution.
Here's where I would say I'm sorry, if I really was. I tried to be, I really did. I searched for some sign of remorse, anything that would prove to me that I was still human. For a while, I believed that I could come back to the human race, that I could join your noble cause. What I've done, though, has certainly shown otherwise.
Could they have figured me out without you, Armin? Maybe they would have, but certainly not as fast. I wouldn't be where I am now if I had just decided to kill you. It's definitely my own faults that have led me here.
Eren, you don't know how right you are. There's nothing I'd like more than to join the three of you, to simply take the easy way out of this. However, choosing one enemy over the other will get me nowhere. I need to see my commitment through because I'm a failure. Yours and Armin's pleas are encouraging, but my mind is already made up. Know that it's not your fault that I've made this decision. It's not because of what you did, but because of what I should've done.
It looks like your mind is made up, Mikasa. It's always been about protecting Eren, hasn't it? I admire your resolve. Sometimes, I even wish I could think the way you do. You'd protect that boy no matter what. If only I had it that simple: one clear purpose in mind, unclouded by anything else. I have to admit, I envy you.
No other option is in sight. I can't go with you, nor can I stand here and let myself die at the hands of a government as clueless as this. I can only stand by the decision that brought me here in the first place. With a smile, I made up my mind. "Armin," I say. He looks up at me with those same wide eyes he gave me as I decided not to end his life. "Aren't you lucky that I was such a good person to you. For now, you won the gamble. But what I gambled on is only starting!"
I opened my mouth to bite down on my finger, but the signal shot startled me. I glanced behind me to find several men racing forward, surely intent on stopping my transformation. A cloth is wrenched none too gently across my mouth and I stop, only for a moment. Three pairs of eyes stare up at me, two are filled with horror and surprise while the other remains fiercely determined. I throw away the last chance I have at redemption and let the blade in my ring pierce my flesh.
Thanks for reading!