Sora drove his pizza bike down 33rd Street as he finished delivering his pizzas. He stopped for a moment to look up at apartment number A-11. Kairi, a beautiful young girl with red hair and a huge rack lived there. Sora often gazed up at her window when he drove by. This often caused him to crash into a car since he wasn't paying attention to where the fuck he was going.

The next night, Sora was getting geared up to making a special pizza delivery. This time he'd be going to apartment A-11 to drop off a box of steaming hot pizzas to Karir. Maybe if he was lucky, he'd be able to fuck her as well.

"Hey Sora be careful. That's a bad neighborhood you're going to," called out his boss as Sora got on his bike.

"Don't worry Fat-Tony. I'll be careful." He zoomed down the street going 100 miles per hour in a 35 miles per hour speed zone. His body was on edge at the idea of finally being in the same room as Kairi. He drove his bike in the back parking lot and entered through the apartment's main garage area… for some weird reason. What he saw was not pretty. A group of thugs were loading boxes in their power van. Clearly they were robbing the place. Sora put his pizzas down on a nearby table and prepared his body for affirmative action.

"Hey yo. Yo! What we got here?" said one of the thugs as he, along with two of his tough-boys approached him. Sora did a spinning kick that knocked on of the guys down. He then punched the other thug in the face. The last one he used a side-swipe attack to trip him. The man attempted to get up but Sora elbow smashed him.

"Stay down!" he said as he lifted his elbow off the man's chest. "Did I mention I study martial arts?" said Sora as he got into a horse-stance, which basically meant he stood with his legs spread far about like he was about to take a super-shit. Just then, about twenty of the thugs started towards him. Sora had fear in his eyes as he saw the toughs approaching. "Help…" he gulped as the men neared him.

"Yeah kid you're gonna need it!" Just then, the Ninja Turtles jumped into the air and stood there for a few seconds as a giant title screen zoomed out of nowhere and then vanished. They fought off the thugs without really hitting them at all. It was kinda weird, but effective. The thugs ran away. Kairi soon appeared clutching a wet towel towards her body.

"I was walking around half-naked when I heard a street battle going on in the garage." She turned to see the Turtles who were all high-fiving each other. When she saw Sora, her face turned into a frown. "Oh, it's you," she said.

"Like, that was totally excellent!" said Mickey as he began to beat his chest like a freak.

"Very effective!" shouted Donny as he solved math problems on the wall with his own blood.

"We fought well tonight brothers!" said Leo as he cleaned his sword so he could kill again.

"Those jokers didn't stand a chance," said Ralph as he fist pumped the air. Kairi was totally turned on as she watched the Turtles be all rough.

"You boys need a reward after playing so hard. How about this!" she removed her towel to expose her body.

"Woo! Kawabunga dudes! Let's ride that pussy wagon!" Sora quickly stepped forward since the sight of Kairi's body made him grow hard and stuff.

"But what about me? I helped too! Besides, they don't even have dicks. Why would you fuck them but not me?"

"Woo, that's harsh dude! I didn't know there was a racist among us!" said Mickey.

"What! No! I…" Ralph quickly got up in Sora's face.

"You better just tread lightly if you know what's good for ya!" He punched Sora in the balls which gave him much pain. Kairi then gang-banged the Ninja Turtles in the garage as Sora could only stand there eating pizza. Just then, Master Splinter showed up and he looked pissed!

"Boys! What did I tell you about being seen by humans!"

"But Master Splinter, we're not being seen by humans, we're just being fucked by this one hot chick!" said Leo. Splinter did not look pleased.

"Ten flips now! And remember, go ninja go ninja go! Waahahahaha I made a funny!" The Turtles did their flips as Sora was about to make his move on Kairi. Just then, Vanilla Ice drove through the garage with his pimp-ass van. He nearly ran Sora over but he didn't give a fuck! He stepped onto the top of the van and began to rap!

"Yo! It's the green machine! Gonna hit the town without being seen. Having you ever seen a turtle get dooooown?" Sora was finally able to reach Kairi and shouted over the loud music to make his voice heard.

"What kind of an apartment is this?"


"I SAID WHAT THE HELL KIND OF PLACE IS THIS!" Just then, Leo swooped down from the high-raise and sliced Sora's head off.

"Death from above!" Sora's head rolled around the floor as Leo put his swords back in his sheath. "Oh shit! I didn't mean to kill the guy… tshhh yeah I did!" The music blasted through the night as Kairi, the Turtles, Splinter and Vanilla Ice rocked the house!