Just something to keep my mind clear. -ish. Oh darn, I can't help myself, okay?

Warnings: Crossdressing, graphic yaoi (with a minor), !Pedophilia , hardly any spoilers (unless you haven't seen anything at all), probably some grammar and spelling fails

I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist


He saw her back first, and it was promising.

He had these games back home, but no more daughter to play them with. So every once in a while he went out to find a sweet young girl and offer her one of the games. It had been over a week since he played a nice game like that, and he had seen that beautiful blonde hair in the park for three days straight now.

Perhaps it was time to walk around and see if she would be interested.


"What's this?"

"Your next assignment, Fullmetal," the Colonel quirked an eyebrow as if to ask him what else he expected of a file being given to him.

"So what's it about?" the boy growled, pinning his superior momentarily with a sharp golden eyes, showing him just as easily he should stop playing around before he even started.

"Perhaps you've seen the papers since you got back to Central? We've gotten ourselves a new serial murderer, this one preying on young girls."

He frowned. "I've seen it."


She was really pretty. Of course that golden shade of blonde had already suggested she had to be gorgeous, but walking in a large circle around the park bench proved his point.

Perhaps she was a little old for the games he had to play. Her stature was petite – although the heavily ruffled dress made her look broader than she probably was – and her face was still round and cute. But she was clearly older than the twelve years favoured for most of his games. But then again, she was wearing that smooth shining hair in two pigtails with the sweetest bows on top and her choice of dress – so ruffled, so cute – suggested that she was not quite ready to jump into puberty either.


"So why would we get a case on a serial murderer of little girls?" The boy questioned, for once not looking opposed to the case itself, but curious about getting it.

"Three of the four victims so far were daughters of military men," he explained calmly, "it may be a coincidence, as all girls were picked up in the same park and that park just happens to be on the side of a block with a lot of military families, but we have to assume there might be something bigger behind this."


As if to oppose the dress and the pigtails, the girl was wearing makeup. He couldn't quite see her downcast eyes, but they were rimmed with a thin line of eyeliner and a soft hue of pink matching her dress adorned her eyelids. He was sure her lashes weren't that black normally either.

He chuckled softly to himself when he noticed a black smear next to her eye. She may be wearing makeup, but she didn't look like it was her own choice. No girl would carelessly smudge her makeup like that, unless someone else had put it on when she didn't really want it.

So she had a mother wanting her to grow up faster, hm? Well, that wouldn't do. He could help her to be a child a little longer, and play a fun game with her. He had lots of suitable games back home, after all.


"There's another reason I would like you to pick this case up," the Colonel said slowly while his subordinate's eyes flew over the report with almost unnatural speed.

Two eyes flashed up at him momentarily before going back to the file, and the boy gave a nod to acknowledge he'd heard him. The Fullmetal Alchemist was strangely drawn to this case, still standing in front of the Colonel's desk without showing any intention of sitting down with the reports.

"This park where the man picks up his victims..."

He was interrupted by the boy jabbing his finger down on one of the files in front of him, and he was surprised by a small – relieved? – smile. "Elysia is too young to be one of his victims."

The Colonel smiled and sat back in his chair. Sharp as always then.


When he approached he noticed what she was looking at so intently between her skirt's ruffles on her lap. He loved how a delicate pink tongue slowly made its way out between her lips in concentration as she struggled with her crochet work.

Crochet! That was a little surprise. But seeing how bad she was at it and the irritation just flawing her concentrated cute face she wasn't doing that by her own choice either. But of course she wouldn't, a girl should not sit on a park bench doing handiwork! She should be free and outside and play! What a horrible mother she must have for making the poor girl do this.

He stepped up to her, and two large golden eyes flicked up at him in surprise.

"Good morning."


"So how are you expecting me to do this?" Blonde eyebrows knitted together in confusion when the end of the file was reached.

"We were planning to lure him out, and capture him red-handed."

"Lure him out? So we're going to put some girl in that park and wait until he comes to abduct her and catch him while he's about to kill her?" The mockery in the boy's face fitted him eerily well.

"Don't be silly Fullmetal," the Colonel simpered, "we're not going to use an actual twelve year old girl as bait for a murderer. We need to use someone with enough knowledge of self-defence to keep the murderer off long enough for us to barge in."

He scoffed. "So where are you going to find a mini sized fighting specialist like that, idiot?"


She didn't answer him, but she nodded shyly. Must have been told not to speak to strangers, of course. Such a smart girl.

"What brings a young lady like you to a park to crochet? And on such a lovely day as well?" He sat next to her uninvited, but apart from a little nervous scoot she didn't shy away from him.

"Uhm," she muttered. Her voice was a little rougher than expected, but that could be from not speaking for a while. She didn't give a very talkative impression.

"Shouldn't you be playing, instead of sitting here?" He coaxed.

Her eyes were wide and beautiful as she regarded him, and he felt so tempted to lick his finger to just rub away that smudge of black next to her left eye. He was a captive of her gaze, and she was a very shy jailer. The sweetest hue of pink started spreading on her cheeks, her fingers fumbling nervously on her lap.

Only when she nodded her confirmation he remembered asking a question.


It took only a raise of his eyebrows to send the Fullmetal Alchemist into a loud fit of anger. He was quite certain it hadn't been him calling the boy small this time, it were all his own words. Nevertheless he had to wait out the temper tantrum raging over his desk calmly, or they'd never get anywhere.

He was surprised when the shouting stopped just as sudden as it had started, and he gave the wide eyed young man a curious look.

"But... He's after girls."

The Colonel smirked.


"Don't you have any friends to play with?" He coaxed again, hoping she'd tell him no. If she had a stern mother like he thought she had, she'd hardly have the chance to make friends. He could only imagine the trouble she'd be in if she ever got home with dirty clothes.

She shook her head, looking down at her lap again and worrying her lip with her teeth.

"You know, if you'd like, I have a few lovely games to play back home." He smiled at her warmly, and her eyes shot back up to him and they were so deep and so beautiful. "I used to have a little daughter, not much younger than you are, but she is no longer here. I still have all her toys and games laying around and nobody to play with them. Wouldn't you like to come and play a little?"


The kid was shrieking like a banshee, but strangely enough the Colonel hadn't received a single blow to his head of the flailing arms. He had expected to get an automail knee somewhere when he had seen himself forced to hoist the boy up by his ass to get him on a table for the sake of wrestling on the thigh high socks, but instead he had actually frozen and flushed and struggled out of his grip in a way more shy than aggressive.

In fact, he had turned an interesting shade of red that very moment, as if finally realising the Colonel had, in fact, already succeeded getting him into the ruffled pink dress. He pressed the knee length skirt down between his thighs as if minding about decency as soon as his superior started to tug out his leg with a sock in his hands.

He had been very tempted to say that he had already seen the boxers while he was getting him into the dress just now, but he settled for a smirk and telling the boy he'd have to change into more girly knickers too.


The girl quickly looked around, as if afraid someone would see them. The she nodded again, fumbling the crocheting to a ball and stuffing it into a little bag next to her on the bench.

"What's your name?" He inquired gently.

She gave him another one of those wide eyed looks before quickly dropping her gaze to her lap again. He could hear her mumble something, really quietly, but it was impossible to make out what she said.

"Don't worry, you can tell me later," he promised, "let's go play first, shall we?"

He stood and tried to pick up her hand, but she snapped back her arm in alarm. He frowned, wondering if she didn't trust him enough after all.

But his worries were gone when she slipped around him and offered her other hand. She didn't look up at him, and she was so sweet and small and he wouldn't mind looking at that silky golden hair with those adorable bows either.

He took her small gloved hand in his – surprised to feel it was a little broader than he had expected for a girl of her stature – and gently led her out of the park.


"Whoa, that's amazing!" An unlit cigarette dropped to a table unnoticed as the blond man gaped. "How'd you make the boss look like an actual girl, sir?"

The boy in the dress shrieked once again and moved to pounce, but the Colonel quickly grabbed his shoulder. "Watch out with that dress, Fullmetal, it was custom made for you."

"Beg your pardon sir, but would a young girl like in the profile not rather play outside without makeup? And the dress hardly looks suitable to play in."

"Don't worry Lieutenant," the Colonel smirked while the choking sounds of anger on his side were starting to sound like angry sobs instead, "it's not like Fullmetal is actually going to play on the slide, now is he?"

"Of course not, you bastard," the boy choked out. It seemed like he finally got to a point where he was no longer capable of shouting. It shortly occurred to the Colonel his subordinate must be extremely thankful he left his little brother in the library today.

"The makeup is necessary to make him look like a girl," the Colonel told his first lieutenant, "without it, Fullmetal's face is just too boyish. And the ruffles are the only way to cover up his broad shoulders. But we'll give him a nice little crochet work to do on a bench in the park."

"Are you calling me small?" The boy whimpered pathetically.


The girl was following him silently, her hand twitching nervously in his. He loved shy girls like her, she would grow up to be so beautiful. No, she already was beautiful. She was perfect.

He only hoped he would be able to coax her into talking soon, because he really wanted to know her name. He liked knowing the names of the girls he played with. What's the fun of making friends when you don't know what to call them?

"What kind of game would you like to play?" He smiled down at the blonde top of a head below him. "I have board games, and card games. I have dress up clothes that should fit you just fine too. I also have this small bicycle, but you wouldn't fit with these clothes. But don't worry, I have something you can change into if you want to ride the bicycle."

She nodded shyly, still not answering. He wanted to know how her voice sounded so badly.

She would scream in happy delight within the hour anyway. His games always made the little girls scream so happily.


They stopped in front of a house, and the man spoke gently to the child beside him. He released the hand he was holding and nudged the child up the steps in front of the house.

And that's where hell broke loose.

The man made the mistake of putting his hands on the dress-clad butt and pushed – kneaded – and a pair of golden eyes grew wide at the exact same time a right hand – the true danger of that hand hidden underneath a glove – whipped around and found its way squarely into the man's nose.

Roy Mustang hit his forehead angrily on the dashboard of the car, while Havoc beside him gaped at the scene.

"So far for the catching him red-handed."

Roy jumped out of the car and with a short sign of his hand Breda and Hawkeye popped out from their hiding places. It took Roy quite some effort to pull the foamy-mouthed Fullmetal Alchemist of their now confirmed paedophile – but not yet murderer – but it was easy to keep the man on the ground with Hawkeye's gun pressed against his temple.


"You are so damn lucky his house practically screamed four murders from every single corner," Roy said coldly.

"What'd you expect me to do when he groped my ass?" Was the growled return, followed by angry fumbling with the hem of the dress.

"You were supposed to lull him into safety so we could catch him trying to commit murder."

"No matter what you say, I'm not going to let myself be molested for the sake of a case! Now can I get changed already?"

"If his house hadn't been this obvious, he would've gotten away with four murders."

"If his house hadn't been this obvious, he might just have been another paedophile instead of the murderer we were looking for. Can I get changed?"

Roy sat back and sighed, giving Ed a disappointed look. "I had seriously hoped that just this once you'd try to finish an assignment properly, Fullmetal. I had hoped you could do that, because Elysia's safety was involved. You can get changed."

Although he had aimed low with that one, the blonde's reaction was stronger than he'd expected. Ed paled, his eyes wide and suddenly guilty as if he only just remembered it had been the sweet girl they loved so dearly in danger of being murdered here. Edward no longer looked angry. Edward looked shocked and guilty and Roy was tempted to think the boy looked almost ready to cry.

But Ed didn't cry. The Fullmetal Alchemist never cried.

With a swishing of pink ruffles the boy turned and practically fled from the office.

"Is it just me or did I just see the boss run out into the hall dressed like a little girl?" Havoc stood wide-eyed in the door.

"It would seem so," Roy acknowledged before sighing. "Get me that file on the case, Lieutenant. I've got some cleaning up to do again."

"The boss didn't mean to screw this up, sir," Havoc defended the boy gently as he brought over the file.

"I know." He looked up at the man, noting the concerned look. "I suppose I can't really blame him for reacting like that when he suddenly gets a guy's hands all over his ass. But I had really hoped to catch this bastard properly."

"We all did sir. And so did the boss. But look at the bright side, we still got him."

"True that. I won't give Fullmetal more trouble over this, he actually did an amazing job up to that point. Who would've known he could play shy so well?"

"The look on his face when he offered the guy his left hand was priceless," Havoc grinned, "he looked like he wanted to gag! But he didn't say a word and kept his face down!"

"We truly saw a new side of him," Roy smirked. "I'm almost tempted to let him play the shy girl more often, just to have a nice change of pace."

Havoc raised an eyebrow and chortled, "now who's the paedophile here? Admit it, you wouldn't like the boss half as much if he would blush and hide beneath his bangs instead of shouting at you when he's embarrassed."

"So very true, Lieutenant," he gave the man a quirked eyebrow in gentle warning, "now get back to work before I remember you just called your superior officer a paedophile."

"Yes sir," Havoc saluted, the grin still on his face, and moved back to his desk.

He had expected his youngest subordinate to return to the office immediately after changing, but it was taking the blonde quite some time. He hadn't actually dismissed him, just told him he could go and change. By now Breda and Fuery had made it back to the office with the radio equipment and even Hawkeye returned from supervising their murderer being locked up properly, but the Fullmetal Alchemist had yet to return.

He silently cursed the fact Ed had found his little brother a job of cataloguing and entire branch if the library to keep the boy from finding out his big brother was wearing a dress, because that meant there would be no conscience in the shape of an armour telling Ed to return and report in now.

"How long since Fullmetal left the office, Lieutenant?" He asked stiffly, not raising his eyes from his report.

"About half an hour, sir."

"Damn kid and his guilty silent tantrums," he cursed softly before raising from his chair. "I'll be right back, get those reports done."

He ignored his staff as he stalked out, quickly finding his way to the small meeting chamber they had confiscated as Fullmetal's changing room for the time being. Knocking on the door only rewarded him with a shuffling sound, so with a second knocking he walked in. It's not like he hadn't seen it all before, having helped the boy getting dressed every time.

Edward was sitting perched on the front of a chair, still in the dress and only his hair undone. When he glanced around Roy found that he had been scrubbing on the makeup as well, only a couple of dark smudges left underneath his eyes.

"And here I thought you wanted to get changed," he remarked.

"Can't reach the buttons," the boy muttered, slouching in the chair.

"How unlike you to not just alchemise your way out of the dress."

"You were the one who told me to be careful with it, you bastard," he snapped half-heartedly, not bothering to turn around.

"So very unlike you to follow my orders too," Roy approached the boy and the blonde whipped around, looking angry and hurt.

"I didn't mean to, okay? I didn't mean to screw this up! I was just shocked, I was really trying my best to get it right!"

"Calm down, Fullmetal," Roy kneeled at the side of the chair, picking up a wet napkin from the mess on the table to scrub on the smudges on the boy's face, "I'm not angry with you. I was just a little disappointed it didn't go my way, but we did get the guy and you did a surprisingly good job."

Ed scoffed and sat back, shortly shaking his head to get rid of Roy's hand before allowing his superior to clean his face.

"Not everything can always go according to plan, I know that," Roy told him softly, "and I knew I was working with both an unknown man and a bit of a volatile subordinate. I'm actually quite glad it worked out well in the end."

"Why'd you trust something so important to a volatile subordinate to begin with," Ed sulked.

"I told you, you are the only one even close the age of the targeted girls, and I couldn't possibly ask a civilian girl for a job like this. In the end I'm sure a lot less harm was done with the guy all over your ass instead of an innocent girl, right?"

"Oh sure, just because I'm no innocent girl men get the right to grope my ass all they want?"

"I didn't say that," he shushed, disposing of the napkin and walking around to reach the buttons on Ed's back. He gently slid the long blonde hair over a shoulder. "I merely meant to say, you didn't look half as scandalized the time I got my hands on your ass trying to dress you in this. I thought you could handle it."

He was surprised by the silence and his hands stilled on the first closed button halfway Ed's shoulders.


"There's a difference between you doing that or a complete stranger murderer, you bastard." It came out surprisingly quiet and sounded a bit choked off. Roy felt very sorry for having moved to the boy's back already, and he tried to peek around to see Ed's face. Unfortunately he was using his bangs pretty much like one would use curtains, his face lowered, and he responded with a half-hearted snap of his elbow towards his Colonel for the gesture.

"So, if I'm getting this correctly," Roy muttered as he stood up straight, slowly undoing the button underneath his fingers, "men can not grope your ass indiscriminately, but I can?"

"Shut up," the boy hissed.

"That's a yes then?" He smirked. "Why thank you, Fullmetal. We all know how I love asses, it's always nice to have an extra one to grope."

"Shut up," he screeched, face whipping around to give him a hard glare. Like being nailed to a wall with golden nails.

"Don't want to," he teased despite the glare, dipping down to kiss the boy's cheek.

Ed's eyes widened comically and he heaved in a few breaths like he was deciding between screaming or stuttering. Then, once again surprising Roy, a look of hurt shot through those eyes and he looked away.

"Don't do that, you bastard. Just don't."

"You, my dear Fullmetal, are very good at seduction and I doubt you even know it." Roy grumbled, continuing his work down the buttons on Ed's back. It was just cruel the boy gave him such longing eyes while refusing to actually give in. He'd just kissed his cheek, and instead of taking a chance he pushed away.

"You're saying it's my own fault the guy groped me?" the boy asked almost airily, shocking Roy even more.

"Fullmetal, are you out of your mind? You were acting the part of a shy young girl to a paedophile, there's not much you could have done to avoid having him jump you. I'm saying you're doing a pretty fine job making me feel sorry for the teasing I did and making me want to hold you instead. Don't give those sad puppy eyes at unexpected moments, Ed, it's not playing fair."

The boy's head snapped up and he could hit himself when he realised what he just said. What was he doing saying the boy's name like that?

"You just love playing around, don't you?" Edward asked breathlessly.

"I have a reputation to uphold," Roy answered evenly.

"Don't you say you sleep around just to hold up a reputation," he scowled.

"Indeed I don't. We were talking about playing around, not sleeping. I have not yet found where my teasing you leads the conversation to my bed habits."

Ed flushed darker. "You were talking about groping me and you kissed me!"

"I know you're young, but you can't tell me you think that's equivalent to sex, now do you?" He gave the boy a condescending smirk. If possible, the boy turned even darker red – maybe Roy should start to worry about that soon now – and he flipped himself around on the chair to sit on his knees, giving Roy a hard challenging glare.

"I know the difference, you bastard. I've read more books than you can even imagine together. Books! Now you can tell me your version of the difference, you perverted bastard!" The anger was a little spoiled by the pink ruffles now slowly sliding down a tan and a metal arm as the buttons were undone, but it certainly did nothing bad to the overall enticing image of a flustered challenging Fullmetal Alchemist.

"I just told you I don't sleep around for the sake of my reputation," Roy put his hands on those broad shoulders, watching the dress sink lower.

"Then do it because I asked the expert for advice." Roy could kiss that petulant pout. In fact, he did.

The first thing he noticed was the taste of the lip balm Ed had been using for his disguise was still lingering on the soft warm lips. The second thing he noticed was the back of the chair being horribly in the way.

He snuck his arms underneath the boy's and circled them around his torso, smoothly picking him up and dropping him on the table instead. The Fullmetal Alchemist for once did not complain being treated as a kid.

Only then he noticed Ed still had a lot to learn, more books than Roy could imagine together or not.


His Colonel was certainly an amazing kisser. Not that Ed had anything to compare to, but it felt amazing and he knew that the man was really experienced too.

He shuffled back a little on the meeting table – carelessly whipping his hand through the makeup lying around to make place for himself – and spread his knees so he could pull Roy closer. Roy let himself be pulled closer graciously, and two slender hands found Ed's face to tilt it slightly, changing the angle.

This felt even better.

It's not like he never had the opportunity to kiss, or anything. Being the Fullmetal Alchemist gave him more than enough young – and less young – girls trailing after him in hopes for a taste. Of course the numbers would be cut down heavily the moment his automail would show. One girl once told him that him being so small could be overcome, but also being crippled was a bit too much. That had led to an angry outburst and up to date he did not dare to return to that town because that girl's mother looked pretty damn dangerous, but it had strengthened his resolve not to go looking for a girl mad enough to like him with all his flaws included until he got Al's body back.

That was of course supposed to include his silent crush on his commanding officer, but as Roy Mustang was no girl and was kissing him now while having his automail in sight, he guessed he could tweak that little personal rule for now.

He felt Roy's lips teasingly snagging on his, and he gasped, not sure how to reciprocate. The man was both tender and heated, his lips burning and moist and Ed just couldn't remember anything he'd read about how to move while kissing.

He felt a tongue prod at the seam between his lips, and in a short moment of clarity he realised that was his cue to open his mouth. Roy's tongue pressed against his, and he tentatively pressed back, stilling both their tongues in his mouth.

Even with his tongue out like that Roy managed to make a soft chuckling sound, and the muscle made a swift flick and Ed saw stars.

The hands slipped from his face, one sliding into his loose hair on his back and the other one back to a bare shoulder to trail down his arm. He felt goose bumps cover his skin where Roy had touched, and the Colonel lightly tickled the inside of his elbow.

He reached up to circle his arms around the man, but the dress stuck to his wrists and he couldn't reach around Roy's torso.

Roy released his lips, and Ed whined softly, searching for the black eyes in front of him.

"Are you sure about this?" He asked softly, "this is not like reading a book Edward."

"I know that," he complained, "but tell me, if I don't take this chance now, what will be my next one? Will I ever get another chance at all? I want this Colonel, I want to try this and preferably with you. And if possible before I get myself killed."

"Glad to know you're at least a little aware of how reckless you are," Roy muttered, kissing his neck softly as he brushed aside hair, "but if you are really, really sure, call me Roy for now."

"R-Roy," Ed muttered, arching his neck to give the man better access.

"Well," he felt a smirk trail down his shoulder, "if you call me 'Colonel', it does have a certain ring to it."

"Bastard," he growled, trying to stretch around him again with his arms.

"Let's get you out of that dress," Roy smirked, leaning back.

Somehow it was really different to do it now than it had been the previous two times. Roy carefully slid the dress off him, groping his ass as promised to lift him over the skirt. It may be the intimacy of Roy showering little kisses over his flesh shoulder all the while, or the mentioned ass-groping. But the main reason was likely the lecherous grin Roy graced him with as his eyes raked down his body to the small briefs he had been made to wear instead of boxers and the thigh high socks still clinging neatly to his legs.

"Stop staring," he complained aggressively, tugging Roy's jacket open.

"I wouldn't know why."

"Just don't," he seethed, and started flicking open de buttons on Roy's shirt the very moment the man shrugged his jacket off.

The chest revealed was somewhat impressive to Edward. He had expected smooth skin, yes, but not the scars and probably – secretly – not the muscles either. The Colonel had a desk job, he wasn't supposed to be all toned and certainly not scarred. He tried pressing his lips to the pale skin and licked at it.

Roy hummed softly, sounding pleased, and the man's hands started travelling up and down his back.

When he found a dark nipple to lick he was suddenly pressed down on the table. He arched and hissed at the makeup box catching his side and Roy quickly swiped it aside. The Colonel latched onto Ed's own nipple, sucking it slightly before licking the raised tip teasingly.

Even without the pointy stuff underneath his back Ed couldn't help but arch again, sucking in a breath in surprise at the tingling feeling Roy so easily provoked in his abdomen. He had never quite managed to get this feeling by doing stuff himself. He clutched fingers into black hair, making soft sounds just to make the Colonel do that again and decided it would be a good idea to wrap his legs around Roy's hips.

The appreciative sound and teasing small buck of hips told Ed the legs had been indeed a good idea, and he made a point of rubbing them over Roy's lower back, teasing skin with the soft fabric of his long socks.

When Roy changed to his other nipple he arched again, this time gasping two times in a row because his crotch collided with Roy's hard stomach. He whimpered in embarrassment when smouldering black raised just enough to send him an eye-only smirk.

The Colonel moved down slowly, making Ed's breath hitch in anticipation and his metal fingers clutch desperately at the edge of the table. He could hear Roy working on his own belt, but the warm lips did not still and seemed to be adamant about exploring every single square inch on Edward's chest.

"Roy," he said softly, although he had no idea why he wanted the man's attention to shift from down there to up here. Luckily the other seemed to think down there was more interesting too, as he didn't look up and started mouthing the edge of those damned tiny briefs instead.

His brain short-circuited as that hot mouth slowly made a path over the middle of the bulge straining in the cotton. At some point he had been sure he was supposed to be doing something in return, but right now the flesh fingers quivering in soft black hair had to suffice. The pleasure was amazing, and technically he knew it hadn't even started yet.

But that hot moist mouth travelling him leisurely like a mountain to be conquered was already driving him mad, and his hips bucked involuntarily.

"We should get rid of the socks," Roy mumbled, making Ed gasp and whine from the vibrations against his cock, "I thought they were cute before, but without the dress it looks actually quite ridiculous on a body like yours."

"Just... please," Ed begged, trying to tell the man to get on with it but not quite managing the coherency. If he had known the Colonel would arouse him this badly with just a little kissing and licking he might have thought better of this whole ordeal before it started. What had ever been wrong with his left hand before?

He inhaled deeply when Roy picked up his flesh leg and kissed the inside of his thigh. He keened while the man slowly kissed and nibbled down the skin to the edge of the sock, slowly pulling the sock down with two fingers while his mouth made its way down skin being uncovered. Ed wriggled nervously when the sock was tugged off his foot, trying to get it out of Roy's way before he'd kiss there too and change his mind about Ed altogether. But Roy merely chuckled lowly and pressed a kiss to the top of his foot, before gently releasing it down the edge of the table again.

He repeated the journey mirrored on the other leg, albeit going a little faster over the automail. Ed shortly wondered whether this was because Roy didn't like the metal limb, but decided he would have foregone the leg altogether had that been the case. He just probably didn't want to waste too much time on kissing a limb without nerves.

He looked up just in time to watch the dark haired man drop his uniform pants to the ground, the briefs he was wearing equally strained as Ed's. No, scratch that, Roy's looked more strained.

He pressed his head against the table, arching involuntarily to get a feel of that bulge between his own legs, but not reaching even close. It irked him that Roy looked larger even with their underwear still on. This man just wasn't fair.

He was pleasantly surprised at the return of Roy's lips on his, and he lapped eagerly at the tongue opposing him.

"We're going to need to practice that," the Colonel murmured against his lips, "you lack finesse here as much as anywhere else."

"I don't," he started to throw back, before the 'practice' part of the sentence registered and he dropped back again with a whirlwind of happy and offended emotions running through his head. At the Colonel's amused chuckle it was likely showing on his face just as much, but he wasn't given time to pull himself together.

A slim hand slipped smoothly into his underwear, firmly taking hold of his hardness. He twitched and his metal fingers scratched the table, his gasp hard and needy.

"Although I'd love to draw this encounter out, I suppose we're not exactly in a situation suitable for long lasted teasing." Ed's breath hitched when Roy punctuated his words with a couple of sharp tugs on his erection. "How much would you like to get now, Edward?"

"All," Ed gasped, bucking into the hand and clenching his flesh fingers in the black silk they were still entangled in.

"All?" Roy chuckled and leant forward again, dragging his tongue up Ed's neck to rest next to his ear. "You want all on a table in a meeting room? You want all when my men are still patiently awaiting our return to the office?"

"Yes," he hissed in return. He had waited for this for too long to let it slip now.

"You wouldn't rather make it quick now and play the full game later on? With the luxury of a bed, perhaps?" Roy feathered a few kisses over his cheekbone.

Bastard. Liar. This might be his only chance. "Both," he keened when fingers flicked over his nipple, the stroking of his erection slowed down to a gentle tugging by now.

"So greedy." Roy kissed his lips, and Ed tried to follow when he pulled back.

He looked up to see dark eyes studying him. Roy wasn't getting second thoughts, was he? Ed made a soft whining sound, hoping to entice the Colonel to continue what he was doing. His hips bucked in need.

The Colonel tilted his head slightly, black eyes narrowing a little. Holding his breath Edward tried for his best pleading eyes. Roy never got the pleading eyes, he only got the angry ones. If anything was going to persuade the man to do this, it was the big pleading eyes he usually reserved for Al.

"Very well then," the Colonel gave in. He moved quickly to grab the waistband of Ed's underwear, giving a sharp tug to get them down when the blonde wasn't really in a position to actually lift his hips. He hooked his elbow underneath the flesh knee and his other hand shot out to grab a bottle on the table behind Ed.

Momentarily forgetting how he was now naked on a table with Colonel Mustang all over him, Ed looked curiously at the bottle of cream he'd been using to soothe irritated patched of skin where the dress and shoes had been chafing. It took his mind only two seconds to catch up with what Roy was planning to do with that cream and he flushed when he realised he was smiling giddily at the prospect.

"Relax now," the black haired man told him with a deep and smooth voice. The bottle made an airy noise as the cream slid onto Roy's fingers, and Ed watched transfixed as the cream was spread and warmed before the hand lowered between his thighs.

The soft whimper escaping him was purely in surprise. Up until now, whenever he had put one or two fingers inside himself it had always been his cold automail, his flesh fingers required for the job in the front. This was the first time a warm flesh finger entered him, and the cream made it feel strangely smooth while the calloused skin itself was slightly rough.

He moved his hips, trying to press closer to the finger and hoping to get attention on his erection again too. He usually only put his fingers in when he was already touching himself, and he really wanted more right now.

Roy pulled his finger back to press in a second one. Ed worked his throat nervously, feeling the two fingers wriggle around and scissoring to stretch him. This was as much as he was used to, but he knew he'd get more this time. He could feel Roy was searching for his prostate, and he bucked unhelpfully.

"I am guessing you tried some hands-on experimentation after reading all those books you mentioned?"

Ed's eyes snapped up to the smirking face of the Colonel, and he growled. "Isn't that only natural?"

Roy curled his fingers and Ed moaned, unable to keep his glare and squeezing his eyes shut.

"Of course," the man conceded.

"More," Ed panted. He would've hoped he didn't sound so pathetic, but it was practically impossible to tell Roy what it was he wanted by now. Luckily the man understood him just fine, and pressed in the third finger.

Edward whimpered, muscles now finally clenching around the intrusion. Roy patiently moved his fingers, pumping them in and out gently while wriggling them around each other. Ed started panting for real, soft moans spilling over his lips at the strange but arousing feeling.

He wanted to be touched. He wanted to have more inside of him, no matter if it would hurt. He wanted it all. He wanted Roy.

He arched on the table, his metal fingers securing themselves firmly around the table edge and his flesh hand reaching out for Roy's hip.

Fingers entangled with his and his hand was pulled down. Roy pressed his hand on his own hipbone where he held him tight. Ed whined, twitching the leg now completely entrapped within the crook of Roy's arm and trying to get his hand free again. He knew the feeling of his own hip, it was Roy he wanted to touch.

"Are you ready?" The Colonel sounded slightly out of breath himself, and Ed's eyes darted down to the wet patch on the man's briefs. The corner of his lip twitched to smirk, but he wasn't quite capable of that at the moment. He got his Colonel to lose control.

He nodded breathlessly, gold eyes zeroing back in on the black ones.

"This will probably hurt, but I'll take it slow."

Edward didn't even deign that with an answer, watching transfixed as the fingers were pulled out of him and used to tug down black briefs. Roy had to let go of Ed's hand to get the job done, and he scrambled to touch his Colonel's hip and then the coarse hair being uncovered. He lingered there, just shy of touching Roy's length. He would not acknowledge himself being small, so that meant Roy was really... pretty huge. He wondered if it was even possible to get that into his backside.

Roy seemed to think so, because he pulled Ed's hips to the edge of the table and stepped close to press against his thighs. Edward spread his legs willingly, his eyes still fixed on the damp erection now teasingly rubbing over a tan thigh and then down out of sight. He twitched more in anticipation than anything else when he felt the press against his sphincter.

"Relax," Roy soothed, slowly pressing forward. Ed felt a vicious sting and a decidedly uncomfortable stretch, but he'd be damned if he hadn't had much worse. It was painful, he'd admit – and hearing Roy's soothing murmurs it likely showed on his face – but it was relatively easy for him to persuade his muscles into a more relaxed state and just take it. He noticed the pain fading as soon as he relaxed, and the Colonel quirked an amused eyebrow when he noticed.

When Ed felt Roy's thighs touching his ass, the man stopped moving. He glanced up in confusion.

He started when he suddenly had tender fingers trailing over his cheek. Ed shuddered, leaning into the touch and watching Roy, hoping to get an explanation for this strange behaviour. Why wasn't Roy moving? This must be torture for him. And why the tender stroking on his cheek?

He shocked himself by practically purring as the fingers trailed to his throat, rubbing gentle circles over his skin towards his neck.

"I know I told you to relax," Roy muttered softly, "but it is kind of scary how easy that appeared to be for you." The fingers carded through his hair, only to trail back up over his skin to massage his scalp. "I know it's not because you did this before."

"W-what's wrong?" Ed managed to bring out, leaning into the touch further and forcing himself to keep his hips still. Especially that last part was pretty difficult with the feeling of Roy's girth all the way into his ass.

Roy snorted softly and shook his head. "You have no idea how much you actually make me worry sometimes, Ed. Being used to pain like this is not helping."

"But..." Ed whimpered and bucked. He slid his own hand up to Roy's stomach, giving him a pleading look when he was unable to tell him what he wanted.

His hand was picked up and softly pressed to gentle lips, and as far as Ed wasn't blushing from the exertion yet he turned a dark red now. He sputtered and Roy gave him a smirk, releasing the hand in favour of gripping his hips. Ed's right leg was hoisted up against Roy's chest a little better, the other curled around the Colonel's hips involuntarily. Roy shivered at the cool touch, but only gave another smirk before finally pulling back slowly.

Edward gasped at the feeling and arched once again, digging his metal heel into Roy's hip while the other leg twitched.

This couldn't compare to anything he ever felt before. Pain had never been something to arouse him, nor to give him this much pleasure. Roy's facial expression was just priceless and nobody had ever gripped his hips in such a confining way and still make him feel excruciatingly happy about it.

And here he had thought the kiss had been impressive.

Roy set a slow pace, pulling out almost completely every time before pressing in until he could go no further. Edward wasn't quite sure how Roy was touching his prostate, but every slow movement seemed to tease over the spot, sending tingles of pleasure down his spine without actually giving him the full burst of a direct stimulation. He moaned and panted, digging his heel deeper into Roy's hip to urge him to speed up.

The Colonel didn't need much urging. Ed was sure the bastard would have teased him endlessly had he actually chosen to wait with this and do it in that offered bed, but right now they were actually in a bit of a hurry. Just a bit though.

The movements started to grow faster, and no matter how controlled, they also seemed to become a little more erratic. The more forceful they became, the harder the moan being pressed out of Ed's body was. His fingers scrabbled on Roy's abdomen, before he finally moved his hand up to muffle himself.

Roy looked slightly disappointed when the sounds grew softer, but he wasn't foolish enough not to see the merit. It was him who'd be in trouble if they got found out, after all.

Even with the hand over his mouth he couldn't quite muffle the sharp cry when a thrust finally hit his prostate straight on. Roy smirked again – albeit a bit more shakily this time – and angled his thrusts that way, increasing the force as he went.

Ed moaned and whined, desperately trying to cover his mouth better when he was actually losing the strength and coordination for anything other than arching and pulling the man closer with his leg.

"Roy," he moaned out, biting on his fingers.

"Is it good?" The man panted out teasingly.

Ed moaned unintelligibly, bucking into Roy's movement.

"You want more Ed? Tell me, what do you want?"

"'s Good," he keened, his automail shortly letting go of the table edge to grab at Roy before he pulled it back. No hurting the Colonel with his automail now. The hand scratched over the surface of the table to find a new edge to crush.

"This is enough?" Roy chuckled.

"N-no," he whined, trying to look at those teasing black eyes, "touch me!"



"Touch myself?"

Ed's eyes widened when the man obediently let go of his hip, his slender hand trailing up a pale chest to finger at his own nipples. A moment ago he would have denied he could get any harder, but Roy just proved that thought wrong.

He twitched – torn between muffling his sounds and jerking himself off which would both need the same flesh hand. His eyes were sucked to the sight of fingers on nipples as flies to light.

"Roy, please!" He growled between his fingers, before biting down until he bled and throwing his head back. He couldn't watch the man doing that. He couldn't survive such torture.

"Aren't I doing what you wanted?" The husky voice asked him, and he whined.

He turned his head so he was just able to look the man in the eyes and pleaded with his look. "Colonel."

That seemed to give the man a start, and Roy shuddered. He swiftly caught Ed's straining erection and tugged it sharply.

Ed clamped his hand over his mouth completely when he arched up as high as he could on the table, his entire body rocking in its spasms as he came all over himself and Roy's hand.

As he slowly relaxed he could vaguely hear Roy's strained grunts, and in his strange after-climax state he just managed to catch himself before he would have embarrassed himself by actually giggling at the feeling of the thick fluid dripping down the cleft of his ass. He'd need to watch out with after-climax reactions, that was certain.

Roy stepped back and started rummaging over the table and chairs to find something to clean them up. Ed's watched him hazily, wincing as the edge of the table dug into his back when his legs slowly eased down. He managed to hoist himself a little further up the table and slowly sat up.

Roy had found something and gently wiped his seed from his stomach, letting the blonde watch silently. "Come on, we were supposed to get you back in your clothes."

Ed nodded dumbly, but didn't find the will to stand up and find his clothes.


He saw black eyes looking at him inquiringly.

He nodded slowly and eased himself off the edge of the table, stilling obediently when Roy bend over him to wipe between his legs.

When he was dressing he found a scrap of paper being pressed into his hands. He looked up at Roy in surprise and saw the man smirk.

"Eight o'clock would be just fine. I'll have dinner waiting."

Only when Roy left the room he realised he'd been doing a marvellous fish out of the water impression, standing only in his still open pants and not having said a word since it ended.

So he was going to get a second chance for having this after all.

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