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Everything Below this line is old.
Hetalia is the property of Hidekaz Himaruya. Support official release.
"So that's where you've been all this time! What happened?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Oh come now mon amie! Don't be like that! Tell us what you did!"
"I said I don't want to talk about it!"
"I think someone's too embarrassed to tell us what happened when he was a petit minou, no?"
America leapt out of his seat causing Russia, China, and France who were all huddling around him, to back off a little. His cheeks were bright red as he straightened his fighter jacket on his shoulders (which Britain had promptly returned to him soon after he was cured) in a huff and stared at France.
"Geez man, layoff! What part of 'I don't want to talk about it' is so hard for you to understand?"
"The part where you don't want to talk about it." France smugly replied placing a hand on America's shoulder. "I for one want to know everything! Especially since you had to spend some much time with my beautiful French territory, ohohohon!"
"Oh don't harass him so much you frog!" Britain rolled his eyes from the other side of the business table as he stacked his papers into order. "Poor Yank's been through enough, you shouldn't bother him….I can't believe I just said that."
"You know, I really wish you had stayed a cat!" China folded his arms grumpily. "At least we wouldn't have had to listen to that rant you gave during the meeting! Shízài! It sounded like you weren't even paying attention to what you were saying! Like you just talked for the sake of talking!"
"Meh, it was a new year's resolution." America muttered, "Anyway, can we please talk about something other than what I was for the past two months?"
"Da!" Russia smiled. "I have something I've been meaning to ask."
He reached out his hand as if expecting to receive cash and smiled childishly. "I'd like that feather you took from me."
"Wh-What?" America stuttered, slightly raising his arm defensively.
"The feather. The firebird feather you took from me. I'd like it back please."
America swallowed and darted his eyes around. "Um…well…the thing is…I don't exactly have it with me anymore."
"Oh?" Russia sighed lowering his hand. "Then where is it?"
"Er…as far as I know, it's probably burnt to a crisp in a pool of oil in a collapsed factory at Germany's place."
Russia's face grew dark as his eyes sparked with a dreadful silvery glint.
Meanwhile, Romano and Spain were leaning against the wall casually. Romano stole a few irritated glances at his wristwatch while Spain hummed merrily. Finally, Germany and Japan came through the door looked worried and exasperated.
"Sure took your sweet time! Damn potato bastard!" Romano shouted at Germany. "Where the hell is Veneziano?!"
"I have no idea where he is, we've looked everywhere!" Germany panted.
"How on earth could you lose him?" France flustered. "He was in this room ten minutes ago!"
"He ran off after the meeting." Japan noted. "This is typically when the three of us go for training."
"Trying to ditch huh?" Spain smiled. "Sounds about right for him!"
"All the same," Britain spoke up placing his papers in his briefcase. "He can't have gotten far. It is a large place after all. He's probably just hiding in one of the rooms."
Germany grit his teeth and clenched his fingers into tight fists to the point where they shook.
"Scheiße! I swear, when I find him I'm going to make him run so hard that he'll—!"
"Germany~!" A singsong voice called. All the countries in the room looked up and saw a huge cooking vat hover into the room. It was set down on the table and out from behind it popped Italy.
"Ve~! Everybody! Guess what? I was trying to hide from Germany so I wouldn't have to run laps like he makes me all the time, but then I went into a room and found this big pot of pasta sauce! How about we all stay and I'll make some pasta for everyone!"
"Sounds good man!" America smiled. "I'm absolutely starved!"
Germany went over and smacked Italy repeatedly over the head with his fist (gently of course)
"Dammit Italy! What the hell was that about?! Going off and running away like that to avoid training!? You know you need to build yourself more than this! If you don't, you'll never get any stronger!"
"Ow! Ouch!" Italy cried. "Germany! Germa-Ow! That really hurts!" He cringed in vain as he submitted to the painful blows (of course, you need to carefully consider the word 'painful' coming from a guy who hollers when a cat licks him)
Everyone watched this scene awkwardly until Britain suddenly leapt out of his seat and shakily pointed at the pot with disbelieving eyes as grunts helplessly left his mouth.
"Wha….Wa…." he stammered, "Wh…Where did you get that pot?!"
Germany and Italy stopped and looked up at Britain. "Ve…I got it from one of the rooms."
"What room?!" Britain panicked as his voice fluctuated hilariously.
"The one down the hall and to the left, four doors down. Why?"
"How the bloody hell did you get in there?! It was locked!"
Italy shrugged. "The key was on the floor outside the room."
"Bu…b-b-bu…!" Britain mumbled as he fumbled with his pocket. Sure enough, there was a hole in the bottom through which the key had fallen out. Britain ran over to the pot and shoved Italy and Germany away. He lifted the lid and then turned furiously to Italy.
"You twit!" he shouted. "Do you have any idea what this is?!"
"Ve…pasta sause?" Italy tilted his head. Britain let out an exasperated sigh.
"No! This is the formula I've been working on all this morning before the meeting! It's the same bloody elixir that changed you and America into bloody cats!"
"Was?!" Germany exclaimed in a cold sweat. This last statement had gotten everyone's attention in the room. Britain groaned as he realized his secret was exposed.
"I was trying to recreate the formula that I lost with that whole incident! Fortunately I had managed to scribble a few notes so I could figure it out pretty easily. I made a larger batch to have more in stock!"
"Dude, why the heck do you need something that turns people into cats bro?!"
Britain glared at America annoyingly. "You'd be surprised, you wanker. Anyway I'd better get this out of here!"
Britain slowly eased his arms near the base of the vat and with a deep breath, lifted it. America raised his hands and took a few steps towards Britain.
"Yo Iggy, need some help?"
"I don't need any bloody help from you or anyone!" Britain fumed as he walked towards the doors. "I can manage on my own just—!"
"Brohas!" a cocky voice sounded as a familiar silver-haired man with a little chick nestled upon his head flung the doors open. "The awesome me decided to pay you a little visit! Kesesesesese!"
"You damn wanker!" Britain exclaimed as the shock of having Prussia suddenly block his way set him off balance. He fumbled backwards as he tried not to fall over with the contents in hand.
"I'll be the hero!" America exclaimed rushing towards Britain with open arms. Unfortunately he had miscalculated and ended up slamming his nose into Britain's head and further setting him off balance. Britain flung the pot backwards which ended up smacking Germany in the face before he slid it onto the table. Unfortunately, the table had recently been fixed up with a little too much polish and the mighty shove accidentally caused it to go sliding down the table. China leapt up and grabbed a hold of it, but it only sent him sailing across the table as well.
"Someone! Catch it!" Britain cried.
"I've got it! I've got it!" Russia cried like a child playing a game. He went over to the table and quickly snatched up his prize. "Hooray! I win! Russia is the best in all the world!"
"Aya! You were supposed to pick up the pot not me, ass!" China shouted as Russia held him bridal style.
"Ahhh…" Russia smiled. "You were a better trophy."
"Let me go Aru!" China struggled helplessly as he tried to escape 'becoming one' with you-know-who.
"Quick! Someone get it before it breaks open!" Britain cried.
Everyone started dashing towards the sliding pot at the other end of the table (except for China whom Russia still refused to put down). Unfortunately, Italy tripped and fell forward grabbing Germany who ran in front of him and causing Japan behind him to fall as well. Romano tried to help his little brother but rammed his head into Spain who was trying to do the same thing. America was still freaking out about the pain from slamming his nose into Britain and covered his face so that he couldn't see and tripped over the pile, but not before seizing onto Britain, who in turn seized onto France and sent them both onto the mound. Prussia had absolutely no idea what was going on, but found himself launching his body onto the dog pile thinking it was some sort of game as Gilbert flew frantically near the ceiling chirping loudly and repeatedly. Russia was trying to keep his grip on the kicking China, but ended up backing into the mountain of countries and sitting on everyone.
The pot meanwhile, had travelled to the end of the table, but had caught on the lip which forced it to swing around the ovular tabletop and go right back to the other end. Unfortunately someone (America) had left their binder on the other end which consequently caused the vat to tip over and pour the flaming red liquid out onto the floor. As everyone looked up at this, Britain cringed a little and said in a very whimpering way.
The instant the liquid hit the floor, it burst into a red gas which enveloped Italy, Germany, Japan, Prussia, Romano, Spain, America, Britain, France, China, and Russia. For a minute or two, the only sound was that of everyone hacking, but the gas cleared to reveal the mound of empty clothes.
Or…almost empty clothes.
"Verdammt!" Germany swore as he unknowingly crawled out of his clothes. "What the hell was that about? Getting piled on like a sack of…"
He noticed his paws right away and started breaking into a cold sweat.
"T-that's not mine." he stammered. He felt his head and noticed his ears
"Those aren't mine!"
He looked behind him and instantly felt his blood run cold as he saw the long, swaying extension behind him
"That is definitely not mine!"
"Ve! Germany! Germany are you ok?" Italy asked as he crawled out of his clothes towards the blue-gray cat. He didn't bother looking over himself, he knew very well what had happened. He noticed movement going on close to Japan's collar. He scooted the clothes around until a black and white Japanese bobtail crawled out.
"Na-Nani?" he muttered quietly as he examined himself. Germany turned to Italy as all of his fur stood on end.
"Italy! What on earth is going on?!"
"Ve~! Well," Italy fretted. "The same thing that I had to deal with for the past two months!"
"I…I think I'm getting a headache." Japan shuddered as he held his paws to his head.
"Kesesesese!" came a cocky voice. The Axis Powers looked over to see a white cat with a confident grin on his face. He had a scar over his right eye and the back of his neck. Almost the moment he walked over, Gilbert flew down and landed on his head completely aware of whom he really was. Prussia swayed his tail smugly as he looked at his little brother.
"You look so stupid West!" he laughed as he brought his paws up to Germany's face. "You still have that silly stern expression on that little face of yours! You look so funny! Kesesesesesee!"
"Stop touching my face!" Germany growled and flung his brother against the floor as the two started wrestling. Prussia was having the time of his life while Germany was trying to get his older brother to stop laughing. They battered each other in a dust cloud while Gilbert circled around them both chirping his head off.
"Well this is just wonderful!" a calico cat similar to Italy but slightly darker fumed as he struggled to get out of his clothes. Romano pulled until he popped out and rolled across the floor into one of the meeting table legs upside down.
"Who's the stupid bastard that did this?!"
"Romano? Is that you?" Romano looked up (or down in his point of view) to see a light brown cat with a chocolate patch covering his forehead, ears, back, and tail.
"S-Spain you tomato-bastard?! You too?" he stayed silent and thought for a minute. "Come to think of it, this isn't going to affect the jackass' schedule at all."
"Oh Romano!" Spain smiled as he crouched close to Romano's head. "You look so cute! With your little paws and ears and tail and that tiny scrunched-up angry face! Why you never looked nearly this adorable before!"
"CHICHICHGIGI!" Romano flustered as his face became a red that would've made America's blushes seem like snow.
"Dude, Come on!" America groaned in the background as he was dismayed to find himself back to his furry form. "I just got back!"
"Oh shut it!" a Scottish fold with caramel patches on its left ear and eye, back, and tail chastised as he wriggled out of the green uniform. "We're in the same boat as you!"
"And I wonder who's fault that might be Monsieur Angleterre!"
A silky gray, long-haired cat mumbled as he slipped out from under the bright indigo cloak. Even as a cat, France still had a stylish composition. Britain glared at France from under his thick, caterpillar eyebrows.
"And what's that supposed to mean, you frog!? I didn't see you helping! In fact I say you squealing like a little girl!"
France jumped on Britain and snatched one of his floppy ears in his mouth and started pulling as hard as he could.
"Ow! Stop! Sto-Stop it! Ouch! Stop it you bloody git!" Britain shouted as he tried to bat France off of him. America was watching in amusement and started laughing his head off at the top of his voice.
"Hehehe!" A rather large, shaggy, gray Siberian cat chuckled as he sat on top of a heavy tan coat. The long cream scarf was still wrapped around his furry neck. "It's so nice to see everyone playing together so nicely like this." Russia giggled.
"Let go of me, Aru!" a black cat with fur that was long enough for a ponytail to be made behind his head cried out. China tried to push his way out of Russia's still very solid grip as his kicked violently. "Aya! You adolescent nations all are crazy!"
And so between all the nations, there came a loud rabble of cat noises and activity around the pile of clothes that sat in the middle of the meeting room.
Now it just happened that a certain, laid back country with cats practically cloaking his body was close by. Greece had been passing by when he caught the moment where everyone was piled together just before he had witnessed them all turn into cats. Now he looked through the doorway at them all with his leisurely, half-eyed glance and sighed very slowly and very deeply.
"Some people just have all the luck…" he mumbled plainly.