The sounds of the batmobile coming to a complete halt and slides on the ground underneath leaving the batmobile on its side. My heart sank, the explosion was almost so unbelievable to be real. Numb, that's how I felt. We barely left and now the GCPD was in flames, the building was falling apart. More of my world falling apart. It was all so devastating. How much more of this could I even go through? How much more can I take? How much more what this man who was my brother in another world going to take away from me. How can I keep going? I've lost so much. Now I had to decide and time was not on my side. Dicks life hung in the balance. What if people were alive though and needed help? What should I do? Damn it all.

"Bats! Look at all the pretty fireworks! It's so romantic!" The clown giggled.

"Shut up." I growled under my breath. I didn't need his taunts right now.

Green eyes gazed at me and a wide grin formed on the maniacs lips. Reaching his hand he touched my shoulder in a mock of sympathy. Don't kill him. I had to tell myself. Exhaustion was getting to me. It was hard to breath, hard to focus. Everything was just becoming to hard for me. I wasn't feeling like much of a symbol I tried to be but more like the child who just saw his parents get killed Infront of him. What's the point? If I can't protect the ones I care about? What's the point of any of this? This suit? This life? This mission of mine? I was failing everyone. No. I need to save Dick. But what about the officers? What if some are alive.

"Darling." His voice was sugary sweet. "The boys in red and yellow will help them. Hehe wait! We ran out of those recently didn't we? Oh well. Hehehahahahe" Damn him. Just damn him. I wanted to break every bone in his body for that comment. The pain was still so fresh and here he was mocking me. Like this was all just a huge joke to him. Of course it was. It's the joker after all.

"If you don't shut up I'll-"

"Kill me?" He waved his hand dismissively and giggled. "No you won't sweetie."

Oh how I wanted to. So I just stayed silent. Now was not the time. I had to think. I had to decide. I'm wasting time. Need to make a decision. As if he was reading my mind he made a tsk sound. Shaking his head, the smile still plastered on that stark white skin.

"Batsy, you can be selfish for one night." He spoke like it was the simplest thing in the world. I couldn't though. Dick was counting on me. Still people may be alive.

"You can take my word on it." He turned his head to the window. "No ones alive. I know explosions darling, I know when no ones getting out of those, I've set off enough of my own darling." The words were so matter of fact they made my stomach turn. Jim. I couldn't protect another person I cared about. I can't do this. It's becoming to much to handle.

"I survive them."

"They aren't like you bats."


With an exasperated sigh, Joker relaxed more in his seat, showing a bit of an annoyance at my unwillingness to make a decision. "You could do what Two Face does and flip a coin Bats." He joked but more annoyed now.

"Though, darling, you may want to go save your little Dicky-bird. He doesn't have much time. Besides killing birds is my thing, it's bad enough that someone is stealing my great ideas."

That's when I decided. I hated myself for it. I drove, away from the burning building. Away. The hardest decision I have made. Every part of me was screaming to turn the car around and see if I could save anyone. I'm so sorry Jim. It hurt. Everything inside me hurt. This didn't feel right. Driving away. Fighting every urge I had. Being selfish. That just wasn't who I was. Dick though. I can't lose Dick. I have to save him. If I can't than there would be no point. I would have failed everyone. Plus I had to save those children. I had to. I may have failed so much already. I will stop this. I have no choice. There was a new driving force in me to succeed. As much as I wanted to give up, I knew I can't. This had to end. I had to win. Lives were at stake. Joker was surprising silent. Couldn't lie it was a relief. It was silence that was needed to keep my own sanity after everything.
Several minutes of silence went by. They were close to the Iceberg lounge.

"Bats. You know Owlsie is going to have to die." Joker spoke matter of fact.

"It won't come to that." I wasn't going to kill.

"Sorry Darling but we both know it's going to."

"I won't kill him."

There was a small giggle as I parked the car.

"Batsy, I know your rule won't let you, don't worry sweetums, I will handle your dirty work for you. After all I know you couldn't live with yourself if you killed him, besides if you're going to kill someone I'd rather it be me."


"So when the time comes, I'll be the gun, you know the same type of gun that killed your parents! Hehe"


"Right! Fine, just aim and fire darling and I'll take care of it."

"If you think-"

Joker slapped his knees for empathizes to get his point across.

"Don't give me that Bats, that you won't set me loose on anyone. You've been setting me lose on people for years now! Every time you take me back to Arkham instead of killing me you have been setting me lose on people. You love it! You love having me do things you can't do! That's why I'm here, because you won't do it yourself. You'll fight him and win and then you'll hold back, he'll almost kill you because you held back and I'll swoop in and end up saving you. You'll be mad at me because I killed again, seriously darling you should be used to that after all these years. Oh don't you give me that look! You know me better than anyone darling. You'll hit me again and again but deep down you'll be thankful. Deep down you'll be glad he'll die. Don't scowl, you know I'm right. He'll die and you'll want to thank me but you won't. You'll love me for it but say you hate me. I'll still do it for you Darling, it's what friends are for and you are after all my best friend! So I'll gladly do what you can't!" He grinned from ear to ear happily at me. Making me feel sick by his words. His words hitting me like a train. I couldn't allow him to do that. Could I? No. That's not something the Batman would do. Bruce though might? No. Not going to happen. Then why was I letting him help me out? Because I needed him. No that was a thought I refused to ever admit. Putting deep in my mind and locking it away. Never to be thought of again. At least I was hoping that would be the case.

"It be easier if you just gave a little bats, just let me know how happy you'll be when I kill him because you won't. Just when you finally admit it to yourself, truly admit that I'm right, that I understand what you need. Just tell me. It'd be a laugh! The best one yet! I sooo look forward to it dear bat of mine!"

"That's not going to happen if I have anything to say about it."

"You see Bats the problem here is that you don't. You haven't been able to stop any of this. You could but you won't. You need me Batsy." His words were a purr of bliss. I didn't even want to think about anything he said.

"You're wrong."

Laughter filled the car. "And you are adorable when you are in denial."

Not even going to justify that statement with a comment which the silence seemed to not even bother the Joker at all. Green eyes just stared at me. Quick as movement he pushed the button that opened the doors. "Better get going sweetums." Before I could even react the Joker moved way to quickly again and placed his red lips on my own. Did he seriously just do that! His lips were soft and I could feel his smile through the kiss. I was stunned. Couldn't even react for a moment and just as quickly as the kiss came his lips were gone and he was out of the car laughing and running towards the iceberg lounge. "Meet you inside Batsy dear!"

What the hell was that?! I just sat there stunned, my body like a statue. The ghost of a kiss still on my lips. The joker just kissed me. Disgust filled my body as I quickly rubbed my lips with my gloved hand, trying to get the feeling of them gone. Glancing at the entrance of the club the Joker was already gone. Damn. Jumping out of the car as I finally got a grip of my body. The stunned feeling being replaced by rage but also dread. Losing sight of the Joker wasn't a good thing. Getting kissed and then losing sight of him was even worse. Damn it all.

((A/N: haven't updated this story in years but I'm starting to get back into it))