I wrote this for the prompt of darkroseotaku (tumblr): "I know that almost everyone thinks that Kagami and Aomine would be a violent and loud couple but what if they end up being a gross sappy couple. They hold each others hands and say shit like 'i love you my cute pie' and 'i wuve you too' and everyone around them wants to throw up"

This is completely OOC.

Beta: Di

Idiotic Couple

"This is… God, I don't even know what to say."

"Imayoshi, can I hit him?"

"I doubt it would help."

"The Ignite Pass however…"

"Tetsu-kun! You could hurt Dai-chan!"

"I swear I'm going to hurt them both!"

"Now now, aren't you overreacting? Let them have fun~"

"And I will hurt you too!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I should do something, I'm sorry, I'm so so…"

"It's not your fault. Stop it, Mushroom."

Seirin and Touou's basketball players - and their coaches - sigh together, their expressions pained and grossed out. They should start their practice match in a few minutes, having already stretched and practiced for the game. Yet, their aces, two people who practically breathe and live for basketball, look like they won't be ready even in an hour.

"I give them five minutes top," murmurs darkly Hyuuga, looking at his right.

There, in the corner of the gym, stand Aomine and Kagami, holding hands and looking very unhappy about something.

"You won't be mad if we won, right, sweetie?" Aomine asks, his voice filled with worry. "I'll take you to Maji Burger later, okay? What do you say, my cutie pie?"

Wakamatsu looks like he's puking, Momoi face-palms, Kuroko tries very hard to forget that he is these fools' best friend, because there is no way he would be friends with people who behave like that. Seriously, it was better when this idiotic couple was arguing and cursing each other!

"No, of course I won't be, darling!" Both teams hear Kagami's reply, making their coaches hide their faces in their hands embarrassedly, not believing how their strong, confident players whom behave like a completely jerk (in Aomine's case) and a completely airhead (in Kagami's case) can be so sappy. "And you won't be mad too, right? I don't want you to be mad at me…" Everyone's gaze goes to their aces and they see how Kagami is looking down with a sad face and how Aomine is kissing his hands, declaring that no, of course he won't be mad. Hyuuga and Wakamatsu are close to tears.

"You will still love me, right?"

"Goodness," groans Susa when Kagami actually pouts. "I need to bleach my mind."

"You know, we can just make them sit on a bench if they…" Koganei clears his throat, making a weird move with his hands.

"Behave like now, Koganei-senpai?" puts Kuroko. "It might be a good idea. "

"They better behaving," growls Riko, snapping her fingers. "Or I will make them pay."

Both Momoi and Katsunori don't even remind her that Aomine isn't in her team.

When after his first score Aomine helps Kagami stand up (the red-head fell after he tried to stop Touou's ace), checks if Taiga is okay and worriedly asks "Did I hurt you, love?" Wakamatsu really starts to cry.


I hope you enjoyed this, if only a little.