Isadora Meet Isabella
"Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it."
~ J.K. Rowling,
Wrapping my arms around myself, I tried to ignore the fact that I was standing under what felt like a waterfall. It drenched the only clothes I had to my name so badly there was no point even having them on.
Glancing back down at the card in my hands I fought off the tears pooling under my eyes.
St. Ann's Woman's Shelter
A sour looking nun had given me this card two days ago along with enough change to get some food and a bus ticket.
"Don't be ashamed. There are plenty of young girls your age there" she had said. I'm not sure if she was just born with the unfortunate grimace on her face or if she was trying her best not to comment on how badly I smelt.
Either way I was ashamed. I should have been ashamed. When you date a drug dealer what do you expect to happen with your life? I was a smart college student and I say smart because there were some people who definitely have not gotten a high school diploma. I spent my whole life trying to get into Seattle University and within months, pissed it away. I missed my apartment with the beautiful teal walls and fluffy white carpet. My car, clothes, deity all were gone with it. I was better off in the foster care system as a child, at least I didn't live in make shift tents behind Italian restaurants back then.
So here I was standing on Lexington and 2nd, at midnight, being pissed on by God, waiting for a bus to take me to another shelter. This was my life now. When it pulled up I didn't bother meeting anyone's eyes. I didn't want to see the same cocktail of disgust, hate, pity and fear. Instead, I dropped in all the money to my name, and took a seat in the back. Curling myself into a ball I tried to keep my teeth from chattering and my body from shivering…tried being the key word.
"You know what Edward?" A woman stated as she took her seat. "Fuck you. All I asked for was some time away and that makes me a bad mother? I carried them for 9 months! I gave up my career…Excuse me, yes I did have a career, a very nice one before you, stupid ass…"
She paused when the woman and child next to her moved further back on the bus. The kid looked at me oddly before looking back at the woman. His small face bunched as though he could not figure out a math problem.
"No Edward I was not giving you my attention. I was distracted by some bitch and her kid this is what happens when you force me to use public transportation."
I couldn't see her face behind her stupid purple hat on her head but I wanted to bash it in anyway.
I'm sorry bitch we forgot to put on our 900 hundred dollar Jimmy Choos, designer jeans and wool coat before sitting on a bus at midnight.
"Look Edward we've tried to work this out and honestly I don't know why you want too! I get it you don't believe in divorce but I do and so does the state of Washington." She sighed checking out her nails. I felt so badly for the man on the other end of that phone. He should just hang up and find a nice girl to fuck and keep it moving.
"Edward, Xavier and Sasha are 3 years old…when did they turn 4?"
Oh my god? She didn't know how old her children were?
I couldn't even bring myself to look at the beautiful brown curls at the back of her head anymore. They were lying curls! They made her look well from behind, sweet, like an American girl doll.
"Don't Isabella me, you are nothing but a small dicked no good…"
Jesus give me strength.
Before I could even stop myself I marched up the aisle; "Can you please call him back later! He may be able to take your abuse but I can't!"
She held the back of her finger up at me like I was her damn maid; "Hold on Edward, a crazy homeless woman is asking me for change…"
Do not break her finger! Do not beat the shit out of her on a moving bus!
"Listen bitch…" She stopped the moment our eyes, brown eyes, the same eyes, locked together.
She was the carbon copy of me with makeup, a better hair cut, and clothes. We both stared at each other frozen when all of sudden we were standing…we were flying towards the other side of the bus. All the windows shattered on what had to be impact with the road.
"AH!" Those were my screams…or maybe they were but it wasn't mine alone. Steel crashed against steel, people were thrown all over the place and I couldn't move. All around me was bloody glass, it dug into my skin, and my legs felt too heavy to move. I was just frozen on the side of the bus, which now kissed the ground.
"FIRE! Everyone out!" Someone yelled behind me but again, I couldn't move. I could barely even see from the blood on my face.
Reaching up to touch it, I winced away before trying to push myself back up. But the pain in my ankle only worsened.
"Damn it!" I cried. Looking up at the beautiful curls of the….of the woman who looked just like me…being crushed under a bus seat.
Her hands were twitching badly, and it looked like there was a river of blood spilling out of her.
"Hold on!" I cried army crawling over the glass and steel to get to her.
You are not in pain. You are not in pain. I yelled at myself as I made my way over to her.
The seat had fallen on her stomach and chest…it was the only thing keeping her alive. In one hand she held on to her phone the other was pinned behind her painfully.
Brushing back her hair I tried to take the glass out of her eyes. Her face was cut all over. It looked like she had went face first into the window, her cheeks were swelling and her nose was definitely broken.
"You're going to be okay." I told her, looking for anything that would help us both but all I could see was the black and orange smoke taking up the front.
"You stole my face." She smiled, or at least tried to with only one eye semi open.
"Bitch you stole my face." I whispered back to her causing her to cry and laugh.
Taking a deep breath she tried to speak again but I stopped her.
"Stop your lungs must have collapsed you need..."
"No I'm Isadora." Even our names were close.
She shook her head at me; "I'm a horrible person Isadora…"
"You're kind of a bitch but not a horrible person stop talking! Help is going to be here any moment now."
"No Isa please…My husband…"
"Edward?" I remembered for her.
She nodded smiling through her pain, which only made me feel worse; "He's such a good man. I just don't know how to handle good things….you have to help him….We… we…"
"Okay I'll help him! I promise, just…"
"Be me." She said releasing her phone, "Be Isabella Swan Cullen…"
"Don't let my kids remember me as a raging bitch please…"
"No," She shook her head again…she was so stupid. She needed to stop moving. "They are going to call you Bella….I have twins just like us."
Twins. We were twins. She was my sister.
"I thought I was alone." I cried. I've always been alone.
"So did I," She smiled, "And when I'm gone."
"No! I can't find out I have a twin and lose her in the same hour! This is fucked up! No! You aren't dying here so shut up! We are going to catch up on the last 24 years." It wasn't fair I don't have to be alone anymore. She was here.
"Edward, Xavier and Sasha…please. Please make them happy. I've fucked up my life so badly…"
"I'm a fuck up to. It's in our DNA so you can't…"
"This is our re-do…you already have the looks." She joked.
"Stop…" I tried to laugh but I just kept coughing.
"Bella, you have to go." She cried harder pushing me away with her only free hand.
"No, not without you…"
"I'm done. Please don't waste our second chance…I wish I knew…" She stopped. That was it. Her words just stopped and I wasn't sure what to say. I just cried, which made me choke.
It was only after another explosion from the front did I leave the broken American girl doll that was my twin and took her phone. Crawling away from her I tried not to think about the other bodies frozen on the floor of the bus. I just kept crawling towards the open end of the bus.
"There's someone coming out!" Someone yelled but I could just see my body fall over the edge. The next thing I knew there were arms around me.
"Ma'am! Ma'am can you hear me? I'm a paramedic. Ma'am? What is your name?" The man yelled as he took me further and further away from the burning bus.
"Isa…"Before I could finish it, the tomb of the only family I had ever known exploded into a fiery ball of hell. There was nothing but more and more screams.
As they placed me on the stretcher I cried and did the one thing she asked me to do;
"Isabella." I whispered, "Isabella Swan Cullen."
I felt myself fading as they closed the door to the ambulance and the last thing I heard before it all went black was;
"Phone ahead to Seattle Hope Memorial and let them know we have Dr. Cullen's wife!"
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Also if you are rereading. This story one once called My Redo Life but I changed it :D