The Manor was so quiet that you could literally hear a pin drop. Paige's revelation had left both her sisters stunned speechless for a good five minutes. Piper was the most stunned. After all, it was her that Paige was saying was Chris' mother.
Piper replayed everything that had happened before and after Chris' suicide attempt. She remembered kicking him out of the house. She remembered him not heeding her warning. She'd been so angry. She'd told him she hated him and even threatened to take his life. She remembered the look on his face when she'd done those things. He'd looked so broken, both that night and just today when he'd overheard her conversation with Leo. Now Paige was saying he was her son. If that was true then…
Piper shook her head. No. She wouldn't even allow herself to finish that thought. It wasn't possible. There was no way she'd do that to her own son. He couldn't be her son. She would know if he was and she wouldn't have treated him like that. "No. It's not true."
Paige sighed. She wasn't surprised that Piper had this reaction. She was in denial. She didn't want to accept the part she played in her own son's suicide. But she had to. Piper needed to accept responsibility for what she'd done to Chris, just like Leo had. They all had to accept the parts they played. "Yes, Piper."
"No! I don't know what you think you saw, but it's not true. Chris is not my son!" Piper yelled. She could not and would not accept this. Dealing with the guilt she already had was hard enough. If he was her son, the guilt would be a billion times worse and it should be. But he wasn't. Chris wasn't hers. Paige was wrong.
"Piper's right. This is probably just some kind of trick," Phoebe said.
"Trick set up by who?" Paige asked.
"Chris maybe. We all know he's capable of messing with us. That last stunt with Wyatt proves that," Phoebe said. She couldn't let herself believe this either. The idea of them causing one of their own so much pain that he actually would consider hurting himself just wasn't something she was prepared to face. No, Chris had to have done something.
"You've lost your mind. First of all, Chris didn't know about the spell or what it would do. Hell, I didn't even know what it would do. And second, what exactly would it achieve?" Paige asked. She personally thought her sisters had gone insane. She could almost understand why they would try to deny the truth, but blaming Chris for it was nuts. Chris had no reason to want them to think he was Piper and Leo's son.
"Payback. Maybe he wants us to feel guilty," Phoebe said.
Paige shook her head in anger and disbelief. She was actually really glad now that Leo took Chris. She didn't even wanna think about what it would've done to Chris to hear these things. The poor kid was already on the brink. The last thing he needed was to go through another attack. "The only thing Chris wants right now is to die. Do either of you even get that? Piper, your son spends his free time thinking of ways to kill himself!"
"Stop!" Piper yelled.
"No. No, you have to accept this or you're going to lose your son forever. I only hope it won't be to death. Either way though, you'll lose him if you don't accept the truth. Leo won't bring him back until he's sure Chris is safe around you. And if he thinks for one second that this could end up repeating with the Chris that has yet to exist, he will take him from you too," Paige said.
"Okay, Chris is not Piper's son, but even if he were, Leo would never take him away from her," Phoebe said. Leo loved Piper. He would never take her child from her.
"No? You don't think Leo would remove his son from an environment that could endanger his life. He's already taken Chris now because he's worried about the effects that Chris being here could cause. He has accepted the truth. He knows why Chris did what he did and he's not taking the chance that it could happen again. Leo may love Piper, but I think he loves his son more," Paige said. She knew for a fact that Leo would take Chris from Piper indefinitely if had to. He was not going to allow something like this to happen again, not with this Chris and not with the one that had yet to be conceived.
"Stop calling him that!" Piper said angrily. The more Paige called Chris her son, the more she had to consider that he might be and she couldn't do that. She couldn't believe he was her son because it would destroy her.
Paige looked at her oldest sister and sighed. "I know you don't want to accept this. Because you know that when you do, the pain will be worse than anything you've ever felt before. You already feel guilty knowing that you played a part in someone's suicide. Knowing that that person is your own son would probably make you wanna kill yourself. But you can't keep denying this. You can't run from it. Chris is your son," Paige said. She said the last part slowly so that it would sink in.
"H…he c…can't be," Piper said in a cracked voice. She felt her hands shake. Actually, she felt her entire body shake. Because the more Paige spoke, the more she believed her. She remembered how Chris looked that night. It never made sense before for him to be that broken because of what she said to him. It didn't make sense for him to hurt himself because of her, a practical stranger. Unless she wasn't a stranger.
Piper then thought about Chris' personality and his physical appearance. Chris looked like her and Leo. He had her hair color and Leo's green eyes, and his personality reminded her of her sister, Prue. He certainly had her determination and work ethic. Nothing was more important to either of them than the job. She couldn't deny it anymore. Chris was her son.
With that final thought, a sharp pain hit Piper's heart and radiated throughout her entire body. Chris was her son. She'd threatened to murder her own son. True, she hadn't really intended to blow him up, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that she threatened to hurt him. Hell, she had hurt him. She might as well have blown him up that day. The outcome was the same. He still nearly died. The only difference was that instead of her physically trying to kill him, her words had driven him to do it himself. In many ways it was worse. She'd caused her own son so much pain that he thought his only recourse was to leave this world.
Piper collapsed to the ground as the severity of her actions finally hit her. She'd always been afraid that she would fail as a parent. Since the day Wyatt was born, she wondered if she would make a mistake and scar her child for life. Well, she was right, she did fail as a parent. Only it was worse than what she imagined. She didn't fail her child by making a bad decision raising him. She failed him by intentionally trying to hurt him. She was no better than those parents you saw on the news who beat their children to death. It didn't matter that she didn't know he was hers. She had still harmed her own child.
"Piper?" Phoebe asked unsure.
"M…my son. I hurt my own son.
Piper went over and sat down on the floor next to her sister. She didn't say or do anything else. She didn't comfort her or try to tell her it wasn't her fault. She couldn't do that because it was her fault. But that didn't mean she couldn't sit there and try to be there for her.
Piper cried freely. She cried as she thought about her son and replayed over and over again what she had done to him. As his mother, she was supposed to make sure Chris felt safe and loved. Instead, she was the reason he didn't feel either of those things. That was something she'd have to live with until the day she died. She would never forgive herself for it, ever.