Somewhat of a Turn on

By: a psycho chibi named Wendy

Disclaimer: I do not own a thing except a slightly dented imagination.

Warnings: Language, faint shounen-ai-ish, possibly higher rating in the future

Pairing: passing LawxSanji fancy. Possibly

Summary: While suffering from being on a ship full of freaks, Law finds Sanji's intriguing company the only saving grace.

Author rant: Wrote this on a whim, but could possibly add more to it in the future. Let me know if it seems interesting enough to continue.



It was day 4.

4 days traveling with the strawhats.

"Hahaha! It came out of his nose!"

4 days…

"Eww! That's nasty! … Do it again!"

And Law was already questioning his sanity. What he had thought would be a beneficial and devastating alliance…

"Yohohoho! I shall now perform my bass explosion!"

"Ye-ow~! Go for it, boney bro!"

Pinching the bridge of his nose tightly, Law got up from his seat at the main mast and quietly left the area. He had to get away before he was drawn any further into this depravity. He had to tune them out, but with every step he took he just couldn't figure it out. How could this crew work so well together? It was a complete mess, yet they had made it so far.

The whole dynamic was so…


The captain was a stupidly strong moron.

The first mate was a monotoned muscle bound glaring dick.

The navigator was the typical 'look at my excessive chest fat and do as I say' controlling bitch.

The shipwright… Law didn't even know where to begin with that walking clusterfuck.

The sharpshooter was a chickenshit that could curdle milk with that grating voice.

The doctor… Though he had talent, that cutesy bullshit just pissed him off.

The skeleton would have been more interesting if the fucker didn't talk.

And while the archeologist was intriguing and seemed half way normal, Law was still put off with how her chest seemed to block his view even when she was on the other side of the room. It wasn't her fault, and it was nothing personal, but Law simply disliked excess.

He headed for the galley for an escape. While the cook had often ridiculous mood swings and a condition that left him a babbling idiot around women, alone the cook's company was the most tolerable. Sanji had warned him about an alliance with strawhat, and now he was understanding what that warning meant.

On hearing a loud, rude, and repulsive noise echoing from the deck behind him, Law wished he had taken that warning more seriously.

A hard twitch now in his left eye, Law pushed the door open quickly. On entering, he was beyond grateful when the place was quiet aside from the cook diligently working. He closed the door behind him and leaned against it. Taking a moment to calm himself before he was sent into a rant.

The blonde head lifted on hearing some one enter. On seeing Law looking more than a little frazzled, Sanji sat down his knives and moved to wash his hands. "Need something?" he asked casually. The new passenger was strange, but so far Sanji hadn't gotten a chance to really speak one on one with the infamous captain.

After taking a deep breath, Law pushed away from the door. "A strong drink and reassurance that I'll make it through this without killing everyone." he grumbled as he headed for the bar.

Chuckling, Sanji dried off his hands and went to the liquor cabinet. "Me and the marimo have those moments occasionally."

Law snorted and took up a perch at the bar. "How do you keep from it? I haven't been here a week and I'm tempted."

"You get used to it eventually." Sanji took down a few bottles and a cocktail glass. "These day I'm certain I'd be bored on a more traditional crew."

Leaning on his elbows heavily, Law watched the cook work with mild interest. "I suppose I can understand that. My own crew is hardly conventional."

"Speaking of which, where are they?" Sanji asked as he got a lime from a basket of fruit to slice.

"When I became a government pirate, I felt it would be best for them to keep their distance." Law explained calmly. In truth he tried not to think about his crew too much. He had to focus on his goal first before he could allow that luxury.

"Makes sense, but must have been lonely while you were dealing with that freak of a scientist." Sanji commented lightly as he poured several liquids into a silver cocktail shaker.

"Lonely?" Law repeated with a frown. "I was a bit too busy to be lonely."

"Heh, sure." the cook snorted as he shook up the metal container. "The past 2 years I spent around 90% of it running for my life and sanity. I was lonely the entire time."

Law's eyes narrowed and looked away. "You survived. Not like any lasting damage was done."

"Nothing physical at least." Sanji mused to himself. He poured out the drink into a glass and floated a thin slice of lime on top. "Here we are. Try that on for size." He placed the glass in front of his guest.

Law eyed the glass and its pale green contents for a moment before taking it. He took an experimental sip then blinked in surprise. The flavors washed through his mouth but he could still feel the slow burn of the alcohol. "… This is good…"

Sanji smirked. "Is it?" he asked before returning to the large fish he was cutting up. "Look, I know this place is a floating freak show, but you can relax a bit. You're finally away from that quack scientist and his lab rats. Allow yourself room to breathe."

"You'll forgive me if I ignore all that. Pirates aren't exactly the easiest company to relax around." Law replied dryly even as he sipped the drink.

"Obviously not the pirates you usually keep company with." Sanji countered lightly. "It's simple for us. If Luffy vouches for you, we'll all put our lives on the line to keep you safe. He may not be the best or brightest captain, but he can read people. If he didn't trust you, you wouldn't be here."

Law stared at the cook's back and slowly lowered his glass to the bar top. "And if I were to go off in the middle of the night and take apart your precious ladies?" Law had barely said the words before there was a sudden loud thunk that broke up the quiet of the galley. Barely two inches from him, the knife Sanji had been working with was embedded in the bar top. Law blinked and looked up to see a calm and cold stare from those blue eyes.

"I'll say it only once. You harm any of my nakama… And I'll show you what it feels like to be dismembered without those fancy powers of yours." the blond's deep voice rumbled despite the calm tone.

Grey eyes narrowed. "Bold wards from a cook. You honestly think you can best me?" Law's fingers twitched slightly. Ready to put the cook in his place if need be.

Hardly fazed by the look he was getting from the deadly captain, Sanji casually reached into his pocket and pulled out a small vial containing a dark blue substance. "Not without a little help." He slowly took a step closer. "Care to take a guess at what this is?"

At first Law wasn't impressed, but the moment Sanji was in striking distance his grey eyes shot wide when he felt all of his energy suddenly leave him. "S… Seastone…" His teeth gritted as he was forced to grip at the bar to keep from slumping over.

A wicked smirk curled Sanji's lips. "That's right… Powdered seastone to be precise. Hard to come by, but very useful when dealing with unknown fruit users such as yourself." Sanji leaned against the bar and twirled the vial between his fingers. "You're the doctor… What do you think would happen if I slipped this in a fruit user's food or drink..?"

The idea nearly made Law balk, but he kept his face calm. "Would the rest of your crew really approve of such underhanded tactics? What you're suggesting edges on the side of premeditated murder."

The cook hummed lightly as he put the vial back into his pocket. "That's where I differ from the rest of my nakama. I'm the only one on this ship that was born and bred a pirate. I have no illusions that everything is a grand adventure with no worries." Sanji leaned in a bit closer and smiled. "I'm more willing to get my hands dirty… And my conscience won't be all that bothered by it."

Law raised a brow at the brazen words, but didn't pull away. If anything he was intrigued. "Sounds as if you've dealt with such things before."

The cook shrugged. "Some things are easier to deal with when you take a more active role. There's been several occasions where I've been able to eliminate the problems before the crew became aware of it."

"Interesting.. Never thought the most dangerous person on this ship would be the cook." Law mused, his lips twitching upward. This man was very intriguing.

"And why not? A person butchers the same as a pig." Sanji took his knife out of the bar top and pointed it at the doctor. "A good chef knows as much as a doctor when it comes to the anatomy of an animal. Only difference is that a doctor's goal is for the patient to live. A cook's goal is to carve them up nice and neat so nothing goes to waste."

Law was silent for a moment before a slow smirk curled his dark lips. ".. Is it strange that I find that somewhat of a turn on..?"

Sanji's brow shot high as he looked at Law silently for a long moment. Eventually he chuckled and turned back to his work. "Considering it's you? I'm going to say no. Not at all."

An easy silence fell over them as Sanji continued his task. Law still sipping at his drink, watching with half lidded eyes as those pale hands moved so skillfully with the sharp blade. The way it so easily carved into the fish's flesh. The more he watched, the more he could tell that Sanji could easily have the hands of a surgeon.

'But instead of giving life.. He takes it away… A true surgeon of death..'

His smirk twitched wider.

He definitely found it a turn on.



You tell me.