(Author's Note: This is my first stab at fanfiction, as well as parody. I'm more of an angst and plot writer, so any feedback would help a lot)

The subway was dark, though that did nothing to hide the colorful graffiti on the wall, illuminated only by the stray, flickering lights which were lucky enough to have escaped the rocks thrown by bored teens. It smelled as most subways do, of sweat and metal and the homeless, of overly fruity perfume worn by women who couldn't afford something classier. Only a few groups of people stood around, stuck somewhere between too late to be coming home and too early to be leaving for work.

"Oi, watch who you're talking to, G-man."

A woman's voice rang through the subway, making people glance with uncertainty at her and the man who accompanied her.

Special Agent Mulder blinked. "um..Sorry, miss, these are just standard-"

"Oh, what's up, Donna? And...What can I do you for?" A slender man with a brown suit and matching trench coat had suddenly appeared between the arguing pair. He gazed inquisitively at Mulder, who thought that his spiky brown hair and raised eye brows gave the man a permanently concerned look. Mulder glanced at the intimidating woman before turning to the man again, clearing his throat. " I was just asking Miss Noble-"

"Temple-Noble, G-man"

"Yes," replied Mulder, unable to keep the irritation from soaking his voice, "I was just asking Miss Temple-Noble about the odd occurrences that have been happening here-" Mulder gestured around them, indicating the space of subway platform that they were currently standing on, "And if she could possibly give us some idea of what's been going on."

There was a brief silence before the lanky man spoke again, and this time Mulder did not miss the lilt of English rolling off his tongue. "What did you say your name was again..." He paused, looking up and down Mulder, "agent?"

"Mulder, sir. Agent Mulder."

"Mulder." But no sound escaped the man's mouth, as if he were silently trying the word out before he uttered it. Suddenly, he made a noise as if comprehension suddenly dawned on him and he clapped his hands once, excitedly. "Well that explains a lot! Agent Mulder. Oh!" He exclaimed, looking about the platform, which was slowly becoming crowded, "And I bet Agent Scully is with you, yeah? Oh, she is a clever one."

The man in the brown suit felt a jab in his ribs. "Hey," Donna whispered loudly, tilting her head at Mulder, who now looked at the man with growing apprehension.

"How did you know who my partner is, Mister...?"

"Doctor," Replied the man, "Just Doctor. And don't mind me, just blabbering away. I usually just say nonsense. Right, Donna?" his companion rolled her eyes. "Yeah, all the time. Did you know that one time, this Martian asked me to mate? To mate! I can tell you-"

"Great, Donna" said the Doctor. "Thank you. Will that be all, Agent Mulder?" Mulder looked upon the man with new interest. "Martian?"

The Doctor winced. Of course he would latch on to that bit. "I'm not- I'm not a Martian." he said, directing his comment towards Donna even as she gazed back at him daringly, "But I am an alien. Well," he said with a swivel of his head, "Not that kind of alien, but I'm not from around here."

Mulder opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the sound of his name. He turned around to find his partner walking towards him from a group of people huddled in a circle. "Mulder, these people know nothing. As for the one man who claimed to see anything, he was drunk. That, coupled with how dark these tunnels can get, and the lights of the train-"

"Scully, I think we should talk to-" Mulder stopped. The Doctor and Miss Temple-Noble were no longer there. "Mulder? Who should we talk to?"

There was no way they could have gotten to the exit by now...But Mulder shook his head. He couldn't help but think that even if he tried, he wouldn't be able to find the pair. That they would be further away than possible by now. He smiled resignedly. "No one. I think we're set here." Scully raised a single eyebrow, silently questioning him. He smiled in response, placed his hand at the small of her back, and lead them both towards the exit.

Under the rattling of the train rails, a sound faded off into nothingness.

vrrwooop.

vrrwooop.