No Excuses

A little, separate one-shot. I got the idea stuck in my head and need to get it out of there!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans or anything and make no profit or nuthin'!

Beast Boy sat on the couch. Well... sat might not be quite right. He was splayed out on the couch, dead to the world while the rest of the team stared at him with concerned eyes. They had just returned from a fight with Mad Mod and Beast Boy had, once again, proven all too vulnerable to his hypnotic machine. Unfortunately, the Titans had so far been unable to rouse the changeling after having tried jokes, rude words, pranks (Cyborg somehow caught Raven out again with a wet willy, having to spend several minutes afterward reassembling his right arm) and even whispering 'tofu' into his ear. Then came the discovery, quite accidentally, that Beast Boy would obey commands like he would a stage hypnotist. Cyborg was especially enjoying himself, acting the part.

"Beast Boy! When I count to three, you shall be... a chicken. One, two, three..." Poof! Beast Boy was a chicken. Literally. The cybernetic hugged his aching 'ribs' as he laughed, watching his friend strut and peck around the floor. The other teens laughed, if not as enthusiastically... even Raven sported a reluctant smile.

"Beast Boy!" Robin announced. "When I click my fingers, you will become the perfect pet dog." Click. The green chicken was replaced by a green collie, who immediately trotted out of the room and returned with Robin's slippers in his mouth. Then he disappeared again and returned with a newspaper that had been pushed into the Tower's mailbox. As Robin opened his paper to read, Beast Boy simply sat near him, relaxed but alert. Cyborg was at this point rolling around on the floor and crying tears of laughter. Starfire spoke up next.

"Friend Beast Boy! When I have counted to three, you shall be the ideal kitten. One, two, three!" Sure enough, the collie dissolved into a familiar feline shape, the cat form he often referred to as 'the Face'. The kitten bounced into Starfire's arms and purred happily, nuzzling her chin as it stretched up. Starfire sat herself on the couch and petted the green animal delicately, humming in contentment. Robin, after a time, took issue with Beast Boy's closeness to Starfire's chest and caused him to transform into a snake. Then Cyborg turned him into an owl. Then Starfire, rushing her request, got a kitten again. Robin requested a bat, seemingly disturbed by its presence in his home. A veritable zoo occupied the common room, one green animal at a time. Then Cyborg had an even better idea: make him do stuff as himself!

"Beast Boy!" he said. "When I count to three, you shall become a hater of tofu and have a craving for jerky! One, two, three!" Beast Boy turned and walked to the kitchen, searching it for the dried meat. Raven surrounded the confused boy in a bubble and regarded Cyborg carefully...

"I think forcing him to betray his values is a little too far, Cyborg. Beast Boy... when I count to three, you will be a vegetarian again... and make me a cup of tea. No milk, no sugar. One, two, three." She released the changeling and he went about his assigned task, presenting Raven with a steaming cup of tea. She sipped it... just right. Robin smirked at the show.

"Looks like we found a way to get Beast Boy to do his chores. Wait... Beast Boy! When I click my fingers, you will... Clean. Your. Room!" Robin commanded. The other Titans gasped in horror...


Beast Boy marched out of the common room without a moments hesitation. Cyborg seemed uneasy.

"Hey, c'mon Rob... I was just getting him to abandon his beliefs... what you're doing is sick!" the cybernetic teen said, a little concernced for his green friend. Robin laughed, lightly.

"Hey, it's his fault. This way we don't get any excuses. Plus, while he's gone, we can work on a way to wake him up." Robin and Cyborg busied themselves with scans of Beast Boy and Mad Mod's equipment, dismantling and examining the machinery while Starfire resolved to watch over Beast Boy. Raven floated by the window, sipping her tea... she was thinking of something to ask Beast Boy... something to get him back for all the times he intruded on her personal space. After a time, Starfire returned with a dishevelled Beast Boy, still bearing a blank expression. Raven had it. She knew what she wanted to make him do. As the others watched, she addressed him again.

"Beast Boy. When I cound to three, you will do the one thing you have wanted to do most. One. Two. Three." Raven couldn't wait... she had visions in her head of him force-feeding Cyborg tofu or pantsing Robin or... where was he going? To Raven's confusion, he marched straight toward her. When he stopped in front of her, the entire team was silent... then he reached out and wrapped his arms around her waist and shoulders, pulling her into a passionate kiss. Raven's eyes were wide and her cheeks bright red. She was so astonished, she couldn't use her powers... or even think of using her powers. The rest of the team were similarly disarmed, staring in shock with open mouths. Just as Raven finally realised that the warm wetness pressed to her lips was Beast Boy (!), the hypnotised shape-shifter pulled back, clutched his head and opened his eyes, which finally saw the world around him.

"Uh... guys? Why are you all staring? How are we at home?" he asked, oblivious. Cyborg recovered enough to speak, though he still stood unnaturally still.

"Mad Mod... you got hypnotised and... yeah." CYborg managed. Beast Boy grimaced, then appeared to be considering something.

"Aggghhh! He made me British again, didn't he?!" Beast Boy fumed.

"W-what makes you say that, Beast Boy?" Robin asked. The green youth looked at him, seemingly a little proud of his deduction.

"I can still taste the tea!" he said. "I musta took some of Raven's while I was being all English. Sorry, Rae..." Raven stood, looking blank, even for her. A few moments of silence passed while Raven thought about Beast Boy tasting her tea...

"...Huh..." she muttered. Then every lightbulb in the common room burst, followed shortly by all the furniture violently flipping upside down in a wave of black power. The surrounding Titans were miraculously untouched. "Excuse me..." Raven mumbled, floating out through the door. Beast Boy shrugged and faced his friends.

"Was it something I said?" Cyborg, now almost completely recovered, was valiantly holding in his laughter while Robin stammered and Starfire continued to stare, eventually opting to follow Raven's example and leave the room. Beast Boy took their reactions as a 'yes' and slapped his hand to his forehead. Cyborg finally managed a few words, still trembling from barely-contained mirth.

"S...s-something he said!" he blurted before clamping his hand over his mouth, though his laughter could still be heard, muffled by the appendage. Beast Boy groaned.

"Aw man... my mouth is always getting me into trouble with Raven!" he lamented. Cyborg collapsed to the floor, shortly joined by Robin, lapsing into hysterics. Beast Boy stared down at them, feeling like he was missing the joke...

"What?... What?!"

Well, there you have it, the little plot-bunny I've had hopping around in my skull... Awwww... bunnies are nice ^_^