I know it's late. But the manga is leaving me sucked dry of inspiration. And is the manga ending? If it is, imma cry more tears than furu does in this chapter.
Roith and Lorette *does the deep seme voice* Your wait is over.
Disclaimer: Bzb still ain't mine.
Warnings: Angst, tears, Oga.
5 - Revel [Part 2]
Standing by the door sill, Oga's ragged breathing was enough of a greeting.
He was breathless.
Carving his way through an army of demons before finding his best friend wasn't the reason.
Shaking with unreleased fury, he glares at Behemoth crouched over his best friend. He could clearly see the old demon's hand pulling up the front of Furuichi's shirt. Oga felt his fist shake more violently upon seeing Furuichi's expression. He was terrified. Tears stained his cheeks. Blood spilled down the side of his head and stained his lips. He doesn't even care that he looks different. Angel wings, silver eyes and glowing tattoos adorning his body… he was told beforehand by Hilda and Alaindelon that he'll probably see him in this form. But he tucks away his surprise and amazement. Because right now, Behemoth's hand nearing his best friend's chest is riling him up and making him forget about all emotions apart from rage.
"Get the fuck away from him." He seethed, taking slow but restive steps towards them. Baby Beel over his shoulder is just as mad.
Behemoth snickered at the other's threat. Inwardly, the demon was grateful that he didn't charge, he could still seal the angel if he was given a little more time to concentrate on the demonic energy in his hand.
Oga sees the older demon's hand get shrouded with a dark violet aura and ultimately assumes that he'll strike Furuichi. "You got some nerve ignoring me!" He screeched as he launched himself at him, throwing a punch at the demon's head. Behemoth barely dodges it, and his concentration on the angel's seal is shattered. "You little shit." He muttered under his breath, knowing that he lost his chance of taking care of the more dangerous threat. Oga pounced on him again but this time Behemoth caught his wrist. 'I can't take on these two together.' Behemoth concludes in his head, looking at the angel on the floor and then at Oga in front of him.
"You bastard! Don't get too cocky!" Oga growled, Baby Beel on his shoulder was shouting as well. They manage to kick Behemoth but it doesn't affect him at all. Instead, as Oga jumps out of his hold, he notices that Behemoth looks like he's thinking deeply.
'Have all the pillar squad members outside been defeated?' Behemoth kept on discussing with himself. 'This mad dog won't give me enough time to gather energy so I can seal the harbinger of judgment.' He sighs as he realizes this, and catches Oga's uncontrolled punch towards his stomach. The venerable demon knits his eyebrows in irritation. Behemoth could sense the angel dissolving the demonic snakes he summoned to bind his arms and wings. He figured that he couldn't keep him down long enough. He was of the highest order after all.
'How will I manage this..?' Behemoth asked himself. 'He'll grow accustomed and be immune to the sting of hell's light soon. He'll go right back to punishing everyone left.' He realizes and becomes more annoyed. He channels his frustrations to Oga in front of him, punching him hard in the stomach. It sent him tumbling back and doubling over on the floor, coughing up blood. "Y-you…" Oga threatens from the floor. But Behemoth isn't even paying attention to him anymore. Instead, he readies himself for the angel's attack.
The angel has freed himself. The snakes that were wrapped around his limbs have become nothing more than gory black remains on the floor. The angel stood up, stretching his wings again to full length. He smiles at Behemoth as he hovers while holding his palm up, signifying that he's about to attack with a new saber. "You weren't able to seal me, Behemoth." The harbinger voices out his name hoarsely right before he flicks the saber in his direction. It flew too fast for the eye to see and straight for his stomach, but the demon caught it. His hands were steaming from contact with the holy weapon and the hiss of his skin being melted was loud enough that even Oga cringed at the sound. But the demon still forced away the saber and threw it downwards with terrifying force, shattering it.
The loud breaking of the weapon acted like a slap to the angel's face. The harbinger of judgment stared in awe of the demon's strength. He dropped to the floor, quiet in disbelief that Behemoth caught his weapon and destroyed it.
Oga had recovered from the demon's punch and walked over to Furuichi, relieved that he was alright, even though he looked beat up and bloodied. He planned to come up to him and shake him around, saying 'What the heck are you doing, getting caught by these guys?' But he stopped midway, because the way Furuichi stared back at him, made his stomach drop. He looked at him like he was just as big of an enemy as Behemoth.
Oga hears Furuichi speak. But he doubts if that was indeed his friend's voice. It sounds like Furuichi's voice, but there was something unfamiliar echoing behind it. And there was something awfully foreboding about the tone he used.
The angel steps towards Oga's direction, a slight smile gracing his features. Oga feels Baby Beel squeeze his shoulder, scared, and he wants to comfort him, but he was struck frozen by Furuichi's graceful stride. "Oga Tatsumi." The angel called out, his palm held up. Behemoth sees the familiar gesture and stance of the angel and couldn't stop his surprised grin. He figures that he knows well enough what's about to happen and so remains at the side, watching the show unfold.
As he approaches Oga, the saber materializes onto the angel's palm. He aims at the other's heart, his dead but bright eyes transfixed at the target. Behemoth's grin only stretches wider upon the realization, 'So I didn't need to fight them both after all.'
Oga steps back, not fully understanding what's happening. "Aim that thing at the enemy." Oga croaks out. He is completely lost. He doesn't see Furuichi recognizing him as who he is. He wasn't looking at him like how he always looks at him. 'Why don't you recognize me?' This thought repeats over and over in his brain, paralyzing him and gluing him on the spot.
The angel doesn't charge but holds out his other hand, letting another holy weapon take shape on it. "I'm brimming with saber after saber of punishment for you. You have wronged me in countless ways." He declares, the second saber forming fully. He aims it at his neck.
"What?" Oga tried not to let his frustration get the better of him. "I'm not the enemy."
"It is not about who is the enemy and who is the ally. The harbinger of judgment is impartial. I take no sides. And you, Oga Tatsumi… Not a thousand sabers through your body can redeem you of all the times you've wronged me."
From one end of the room, Behemoth was leaning forward in anticipation. 'Kill him.' He chanted in his head. 'Go on, kill your friend.'
"What the fuck are you saying?" Oga exhaled loudly, trying to release the tension that doubled inside him when he heard Furuichi telling him that he hurt him innumerable times. Something pulled at Oga's heart and it made him question himself. But he tried not to dwell on that right now. "Cut it out. You're scaring Beel." He tried to talk to him, like how he would to the actual Furuichi. But the angel doesn't respond like how he expected.
"I'm shaking. All these punishments lined up for you… it's almost too much for me. It's consuming me…" The angel says again, his dead eyes focused on Oga's face. "I wonder… if there is even a single reward for you."
Oga only stands before the angel, still clueless and confused and most of all, guilty. He doesn't know what he is guilty of, but looking at Furuichi's current form, beat up, bloody and seemingly possessed, he does not have the gall to defend himself. He notices that Furuichi is indeed shaking. While Oga was distracted by his appearance, the angel charges, aiming to delve both swords through his body. Behemoth holds his breath as he awaits a soon-to-be dead contractor.
But the angel stops. Right when the tips of both sabers are hovering at only a hair's breadth over Oga's skin. Oga stares at him wide-eyed. He was surprised to find that the angel had on a surprised expression too. His silver eyes glowed and flickered. "Why can't I do it?" He asked out loud, staring at the space between them. His bright eyes focus on Oga's and with a stilted and fragile voice, he asks him, "Why can't I do it?"
The angel shakes in terror, pulling back and looking at his holy weapons. His expression was twisted with worry and horror. "Why am I..?" He drops the weapons to the floor and then stares at his hands. "I'm unable…" He starts to breathe frantically, hyperventilating. His gaze returned to Oga's, looking like something dawned on him. "I can't judge you." He states, and there was pain lacing the tone of his voice.
The two remain there, staring at each other. Both confused and terrified.
Behemoth huffs angrily to himself. 'I should've known… Something like this was bound to happen.' He uses this time when the two younger ones weren't paying attention to him to gather enough energy to use to seal the harbinger of judgment. It took longer this time, since both his palms were singed from touching Furuichi's weapon a while ago.
He waited for his palm to gather just enough energy and in Behemoth's head, he tried to concentrate and remember the sealing of angels. He sees the two staring at each other, both still stammering, trying to figure out each other. It makes him sick.
"What are you doing..?"
"W-why can't I judge you?"
He winces at the two, annoyed about how these two have managed to thwart his plan of using Furuichi. And he was willing to bet that they didn't even know about how they did it.
While they were both uneasy and unable to think and act in a more composed way, Behemoth bolted and placed himself behind Furuichi. In one quick movement, he placed his hand under his shirt and let the dark energy get seeped by the angel's insignia on his chest.
Before the two realized it, it was too late. Oga clearly saw Furuichi's surprised face, and then the angel convulsing in front of him, as his body absorbs the demonic energy. He thrashes around and tries to reach out for Oga, but Behemoth catches his wrist and all the energy has been forced inside him. His eyes darken and the glow of his skin fades out. When Behemoth releases him, his shaky knees give way. He falls to the floor like a lifeless doll.
Behemoth looks down at his handiwork with a smile. "What do you know? I could still pull it off." He stared at the angel, still beautiful despite looking dead on the floor.
Oga remained frozen, shock preventing him from acting out. So much had just happened before him and he could not understand any of it. He didn't realize that he held his breath the moment Furuichi got attacked. The pain in his lungs snapped him back to reality. When he heard Behemoth speak, he was back to seething with rage again. He lunges forward, all thoughts of holding back are abandoned since it's clear this time that it's good to attack. "You..!" He pounces on Behemoth again, but the demon avoids him all too easily.
Oga keeps attacking him and only stops when Behemoth catches both his fists. "Let me say something."
Oga grits his teeth, but he lets him speak, because frankly, he's tired of swinging wildly in anger and never landing a shot.
Behemoth grins at the younger one, happy that he knows he's overpowered here. "I'll let you leave."
Oga's hateful gaze doesn't falter. "I'm taking Furuichi with me."
"Of course. Take him."
Oga quiets down at that, not quite believing that he'll let him go after all the trouble they went through.
Behemoth notices the look of confusion on the teenager's face and decides to grace the stunted contractor with an explanation.
"When he comes to, he'll be right back to judging me and everyone else in this god-forsaken place." Behemoth gestures around him. Oga, only just realizing that there were bodies littered everywhere in the room, grew wide-eyed at the display of an aftermath of viciousness.
"I can't handle him in this state. So go ahead and take him." Oga's shock doubles. 'Does Behemoth mean… Furuichi did that to all those demons?' He asked in his head as he recognizes that the downed demons in the room were pierced with something that looks like the swords that Furuichi almost used on him a while ago. But he shakes his head frantically, so he could focus. He realizes that he doesn't care about that. He came here to save his best friend.
"You're damn right I'm taking him!" He shouts as he pulls his fists away and charges right back at Behemoth, wanting to bury him to the floor. But Behemoth only dodges again, too fast for Oga.
"One-on-one, really? Without even tapping on the fourth's power? Are you mocking me, human?" Behemoth threatens him. He points at Furuichi on the floor. "That angel is the only thing keeping you alive. If he's not in here, I would've killed you now."
Oga stops, going over Behemoth's words.
"I won't kill you because it seems you're the only one who can contain him."
Oga goes silent as he takes in the demon's words. He grits his teeth, angry at himself. He's ashamed that he wasn't ableto do any avenging for Furuichi. He looks around the room. The same sabers that were almost thrown at him were buried clean through all the other demons here. They were all subdued by Furuichi without his help. His pride couldn't take it. He felt…
'When he comes to, he'll have a bigger reason to kill me. He'll have more bullshit to justify his 'judgment'. I can't handle that anymore. And when I am subdued, what will happen to the rest of this place?' Behemoth's thoughts showed how vulnerable he actually is, but he would never allow Oga to hear these facts. He concluded in his head that giving up the angel would be the best way to go. Lord En lived near the headquarters of the Pillar Squad, after all. He couldn't risk Lord En's safety for a gamble on controlling this angel.
"So are you gonna take him or are you gonna keep fighting like a pitiful twat?"
Whatever anger he felt after that, he forced it down, since Behemoth was offering what he came here for anyway. Oga nodded in agreement to Behemoth's deal, though he hates it.
He took Furuichi back.
Only because Behemoth let him.
For the first time in a long while, I actually felt warm and snug. Comfortable, even. I missed the feeling of rest.
I breathe in the scent of the cooling afternoon air, refreshing me in all the ways my lungs needed. It felt good contrasted with my body being kept warm under the covers and snuggled by…
I shift slightly as I lay, feeling a heaviness draped over my chest and tangled with my legs. Finally opening my eyes, I see Oga's sleeping face right next to mine. Too close next to mine.
"What the hell!?" I didn't mean it but I ended up shoving him off of me and he fell off the bed and landed with a loud thud on the floor.
"Oww… dammit…" Oga curses as he rubs the buttcheek that he landed on, scowling at my direction.
I give him a half-hearted snicker as a response. I didn't need to give the room close attention to be sure that I am indeed in Oga's room. I just know the feel of the place too much. Now, I've been beaten up to the point of unconsciousness many times, too many times that I've learned not to scream, "Where am I? What happened?" the moment I wake up. When the setting is like this, and I'm rested but still sore, when I wake up in this style, I don't need to guess because I know, Oga just saved me.
I look behind me, out the window that's right against Oga's bed. It's late in the afternoon. The sky's orange and reddish hues were reminding me of hell's skies, though I don't know why I even have a memory of that. Something in me decides to avoid seeing the reddening heavens, and I pulled the curtains to get them out of view. Still sitting on the floor, Oga stares at me. Did he see me get scared of something as stupid as the sky?
"What?" I ask him when I felt that it's been too long of us just staring at each other. He doesn't answer. He just looks at the rest of me. The top of my head, my shoulders, and just everywhere else. I guess it's easy to assume what he's really looking at.
I look down on myself, checking my hand to see if my skin still held that unnatural glow, and the light blue tattoos spanning all over it. Sure enough, they were there. I didn't feel the need to check on my back to see if my wings were still there, Oga's gaze was enough of a confirmation. For once I feel that it's okay to ignore Oga, and my hand reaches to my neck. I'm trying to feel around for the burns that I remembered Oga giving me last night. My finger only uncertainly grazed the skin at the crook of my neck, and the pain that throbbed and spread through that one touch was enough for me to be sure.
'So it really did happen… then…'
My other hand rests on my lap, trembling. I fist my hand on the fabric of my pants, just over my thigh, pulling at it with a shaky grip.
'If that was real… then… everything else…'
"Hey…" I hear Oga being unsure and awkward and soft, and at that, I don't know why but I couldn't stop the strangled sob that came out of my throat. I look down, trying to hide my face from Oga. I try to make myself as small as I could on his bed, thinking that maybe Oga will try not to notice my shoulders shaking and my pathetic sniveling.
"Hey..." I hear him again, closer, and unnaturally tender. I don't want to hear him concerned like this. I can't take it.
He sits quietly on the bed in front of me. He doesn't make a move. He just sits there, waiting for me to compose myself. I force it on myself, tightening my throat and wiping at my cheeks, ashamed of my display of emotion that nobody wanted. When I feel that I look alright, good enough to be able to look back at Oga, I raise my head. And flash him a smile. "Sorry about that." Smiling hurts. Doing it made me feel like an abyss was forming over my heart.
His eyes falter as he stares at me, like he was pained to see me forcing myself. He grew wide-eyed when I smiled at him. Could it be that he can tell I faked it?
He cleared his throat before speaking, "So... you're a..." That's him trying to start a conversation.
I ignore his attempt to chat so I could take a good look at him. Bruises and scratches littered his body. But he's alright. He's okay. I look around the room for Baby Beel, but it seems he's not here.
"Where's Beel?" I ask him.
"Misaki's room." He answers promptly, like how he wouldn't normally. "But she's not there. Hilda is taking care of him there. He's exhausted from the fight with the…" He trails off and narrows his eyes at me. I look back questioningly and start feeling self-conscious.
"Why are you wearing their uniform?" Oga asks me, in a high tone that almost screams, 'I don't like it'. Unconsciously I fist my hand a bit at the hem of the button-up shirt that was lent to me. When he asked that, my mind automatically reminded me of the horrible answer. "I… I was…" I stiffened up and faced away. I swallowed hard, hoping the memories and the tears that come with it won't resurface.
Oga reached towards me to shake me by the shoulders slightly. "They forced you in it, didn't they? They wanted to make you part of the pillar squad or something." He said with a grimace.
'I didn't know they wanted me to be a part of the pillar squad. ...But they forced me into something alright.' I'm debating whether or not I should tell him what happened in the demon world. But he doesn't need to know. This time, if I am to believe what Hecadoth and the others said, it wasn't Oga's fault at all that I got kidnapped. And that is a first. I don't need to make him feel bad or anything. He even saved me.
"Hey." I call out softly, and he raises his eyebrows a bit, expecting an answer for his question. But I'm not gonna answer, instead... "Thanks for coming after me." I make it sound like it's not a big deal, like how we always do when we thank each other.
I expect him to gloat and scold me for being caught in the first place. But his expression just changes drastically into one of… disappointment?
He lets go of my shoulders and looks away. The corners of his mouth turn down. The slant in his eyebrows would tell you that he's angry. But I know this face. He's disappointed in himself.
I don't know what happened. I blacked out, I think, probably because of lack of good sleep and... too much bodily exertion. I don't even know why Oga is here with me now. I don't remember him coming to the headquarters of the pillar squad. The last thing I remember was sitting there after being raped, while Agiel read my inbox and Naga was telling me some things about being an angel or harbinger or whatever. And now I'm suddenly here. So what happened between those times?
"Oga? What happened?"
Oga kept on looking away. Not wanting to acknowledge my question. This is just like last night, when I asked him why he wanted me to come here in the middle of the night.
"Oga, I blacked out. I don't remember anything. What happened with the pillar squad?" Oga, being a stubborn dick, wasn't telling me anything.
"Why don't you tell me what happened while you were there first? It's not fair that I tell you things when you're unconscious, but you don't fill me in when I'm unconscious!"
"What? What the fuck?" I couldn't stop my cussing because he wasn't answering and even changing the topic. "And when were you unconscious?"
Oga snorted at my question and rolled his eyes, like how a stuck-up bitch would. And I was about to call him out on it, but he started shaking me again.
"We'll talk about that another time... Now, what happened while you were there? Before I got there?" His voice was getting rough, demanding.
"Nothing new! Just your usual 'beat up the bait' sort of shit." I lied, but I was good at that so I think he'll buy it.
"Bullshit." So he doesn't buy it. I flinch and avoid eye contact, trying to bury the memory that there was indeed something new that happened when I was kidnapped.
"You wouldn't cry about it if it was just that. And why are you wearing their uniform? You haven't answered me! What did they do to you?"
He keeps prodding me for an answer, while shaking me by the shoulders. I bite my lip, not wanting to let out another embarrassing sob and not wanting to let what happened with the pillar squad slip out of my mouth. But as for tears, well, tears are really hard to hold back. When your breaths become shallow and your vision goes blurry, and the sting on your eyes become too much, you can't really hold it back. Especially when you're at your breaking point, and all you really wanna do is bawl your eyes out.
I grip weakly at the fabric over his chest, half clinging and half signaling him to stop shaking me. He does stop, and I bury my face against his chest, dampening his school uniform. I hate how he rubs my shoulders as an effort to comfort me. It reminds me of what Jabberwock was doing before he took me. They're both too stiff, and they don't know how to make people feel relaxed.
I push him away, and I tuck myself to a corner of the bed, my wings against the wall and the glass window. I try to look like I'm angry at Oga, but my tears streaming down my face just makes me look broken. "It's not your fault, alright! You don't need to know. And I don't want to remember!" I shout at him as I hug myself in an attempt to stop my awful trembling.
"It is my fault! I wasn't able to save you right away!" He shouts back, moving closer to me. He doesn't get that I can't stand being too close to him right now.
"It's not your fault this time, believe it or not! They took me for this!" I screamed back at him while pointing at my wings. "I wasn't bait this time, can you believe it?!"
For a split second, I see Oga's face flash a hurt expression. And then it turns to one of angered determination. "I'm making it my fault. Just because you weren't caught as bait for me, you think I shouldn't save you?! Fuck that, Furuichi. You really think that badly of me?"
"No, you don't understand." My voice is cracking. Hopefully, Oga can still understand me. "For once in my life, I was the threat. I was the prize. I was able to do something. And yet I still couldn't save myself! I hate you! You're the constant reminder that I'm a useless piece of shit!"
"Whoever told you that you were useless?!" He asked me as he slammed his hand to the window, next to my head.
"I don't need to be told. It's fact. A very blatant one, too." I look down on my lap as I answer him.
A few moments pass with just silence between the two of us. I've calmed down a bit and so has Oga. He was the first to break the silence again.
"I didn't save you." If it wasn't quiet, I wouldn't have heard Oga's rushed confession.
I look into his eyes, wanting him to explain himself.
"Behemoth let me take you back."
I sighed when I heard that. Did Behemoth see that I'm still useless despite being an angel? How very fitting for me. I find out that I'm special but then it turns out that apparently I'm not. That's just something that goes very well with the rest of my life story...
I'm stopped of further mental self-deprecation when I feel Oga tilt my face up by my chin. "Before some more made-up shit enters your brain again, listen to me." He starts, looking annoyed. "He didn't just drop you 'cause you were no good. You were too much for them. You damn near killed everyone in that room."
I'm surprised at his attempt to make up this shit to make me feel better but it's a little too over-the-top. "Oga, you're no good at lying."
"Who's lying?" He looks at me straight in the eyes. He's still half mad that I'm not believing him. "You said you blacked out, before you even saw me. Well when I saw you, when I got there, you were awake. But you weren't yourself. You called yourself the harbinger of judgment. And you were flinging swords at everyone. You took down Jabberwock, and the other pillar squad demons. Behemoth giving you back to me wasn't like, a refund or something. It was a surrender."
I could never take his words seriously. But the way he looks at me while he's saying that is almost too desperate. He's trying to make me believe in myself.
I narrow my eyes at him, trying to decipher if he really is just shooting the bull. "No way."
"That's what happened." He says firmly.
"No. I can't believe that."
The hand he used to hold my face moves and plants itself against the window, and now he's trapping me against it with both arms. I hear him mutter, "Goddamit. You know I can't make up shit. And why would I? Why won't you believe me?"
He's so warm, so close. And his words, though still unbelievable, are incredibly reassuring. I dip my head to his chest again, because I don't want him to see my face contorted with all the emotions he's instilling in me. "Why are you being cheesy..." I ask him, my words kinda muffled against his clothes.
"Why are you being difficult?" Oga retorts as he pulls back one hand to smooth my hair down. Thank goodness he doesn't scrape my halo.
I don't answer him. Instead I breathe in his scent, wallowing in his everything. I feel him guard and protect me from nothing, and I have never felt so safe...
Jumbled memories of the past come to view. I tell him I'm no good. He looks at me like he'll be a mess without me. I tell him I can't do much. He entrusts me with his life. I tell him I can't possibly help. He tells me all the things he can't do alone. I break down and drown in self-loathing. He reaches down to the depths I've sunk, and pulls me out of it, breathing into me, bringing me back to life.
and I realize, I should've just let him take me that night.
I didn't notice it, but I've wet his uniform again with my tears. He pushes me away slightly, gripping my wrists, he looks at me. "Hey..." He calls out softly, unsure. "Why are you crying?"
With my vision thoroughly impaired by my tears, I can't really see him clearly. I can't see his face and I really want to because I feel that I should let him know about what he kept asking about a while ago. About what happened with the pillar squad.
"They... well..." It was hard to think of how to phrase it. My lips kept trembling as well, hindering my speech. "The pillar squad... I was..."
"I can't understand you." Oga said, letting go of my wrists so he can wipe my tears. He let his hands rest on my shoulders, squeezing slightly. "What happened?"
"It was Jabberwock..." I started. My voice was still husky from all the crying I've been doing.
"What did he do?"
"...it couldn't be helped, Agiel said." I'm aware that my thoughts are a little too muddled and disorganized. I wonder if Oga can make sense of what I'm saying.
"What can't be helped?"
"She said... she said it was natural that he couldn't control himself. The others too..." I'm working on mere memory, all the while trying to filter out from my mind the more horrible things that was done to me.
"What did he do?" Yes, that is the question.
"He... well..." I kept stammering, because it hurts to even say it. "...they... uhh..."
"They... uhh..." I kept looking everywhere, frantic and restless. I want to tell Oga now but at the same time, I don't want to admit out loud what happened. I can't say it directly. In my frustration, I end up confessing this, "They... ughh! I should've just let you take me first!"
My phrasing was too vague, and so Oga doesn't understand. "What?"
"...I told you." Heat rises up on my cheeks. I can't hold his gaze right now. "I should've let you take me last night."
"T-take..?" His tone sounds like he's so confused and he sounds as though he's suffering from it, like when he's taking an academic test.
I pity him and so I just tell him frankly. It isn't so hard to admit when I don't say the whole thing. "You know... fuck."
I stopped answering in segments, because clearly he won't be able to get it if I'm not up-front about it. I let out a sad sigh before admitting, "...I should've just let you fuck me last night."
He's shocked stiff at my words, looking more taken by surprise now than when Beel shocks him with actual electricity.
I explain further, "Because now, I have to live with the memory of being taken by force by a bunch of demons as my first time."
"Oga, goddamit! Do I have to spell it out for you? I don't wanna dwell too much on it! It's a horrible thing to remember!" I screech while pulling at his collar. My voice isn't so loud, but I'm sure he heard me.
"Are you telling me that you were..." He pauses and closes his eyes before continuing, trying to calm himself down. "...raped by them?"
I don't answer. But I confirm his question through my gaze.
"No..." He lets out, breathy, his eyes going wide and he's shaking his head no. "No, no, no, no, no..."
"Quit messing with me! Why would they do that?!" We're back to screaming at each other again. But this time I can't scream back. I only look at him with a faint pained expression.
"They thought that... that was what triggered these" I point at my halo and then at my wings. "from appearing."
"That doesn't make any fucking sense!" His face is starting to grow red from anger.
"They were wrong about it... yeah." It's horrible to admit but what's done is done.
"Of course, they're wrong about it! It doesn't make any fucking sense!" He pulls at his own hair, just to let out some of his steam. Truth be told, his anger over this is making me feel good.
"It wasn't Behemoth, was it?!" He asked, mortified and scared of what my answer will be.
"...it was Jabberwock." I answer. "And, well... the others too, I guess."
"I guess?! Who else?!"
"Hecadoth, Agiel, Naga." After I admitted it, his face was distorted into one of terror. I don't know what he's imagining...
"It already happened... so..." I trail off, reaching over to his arms so I can run my palms over them. I wanted to calm him down. "We can't do anything about it..."
Oga looks back at me, he sees that I've accepted what happened and at that he lets out a defeated sigh. But I know he won't let this one go. There was something in his eyes that made me sure he was going to beat the shit out of the pillar squad when he sees them again. With that assumption in mind, I feel good, needed and... even loved. Oga pulls me closer, crushing my face against the crook of his neck. He puts one hand over my head, ruffling my hair. His other arm wraps around me, still shielding me from the world. I'm content with this now. He let me vent my feelings of hurt and he reacted so lovingly. I feel like I don't deserve it. Warm, protected and assured. This is comfort. I'm happy that he does know how to comfort me.
Never have I felt so taken care of. I guess I wouldn't be feeling this good now, if I wasn't hurt so badly earlier today. In some twisted way, the pillar squad is responsible for the happiness I'm feeling right now too. But that sounds like the logic of a madman. I'm happy because Oga wants to save me. Whether I am an angel or not, whether I am bait or not, he's gonna go get me. He'll literally go through hell for me. And I'm happy because he was concerned that I got hurt. I'm happy because he was so angry that the suffering affected me so much that I cried about it. He put the blame on himself, like he's responsible for every little thing that happens to me. I'm happy that he doesn't brush all my stupid emotions off. I'm happy that he can read me almost as well as I can read him. And most of all, though he hasn't said it, and I haven't either, I'm happy that he loves me.
In the few moments that we remained quiet like that, him ruffling my hair as he tries to calm down, I knew, that the longer he did that, the greater the chances of him getting his hand caught in my halo and gravely getting me aroused. For some reason I never voiced out my concern. I'm even second guessing if I should be concerned. I do think that it's alright if it's him.
When he inevitably grazes it, I stifle any sound from coming out of mouth by pressing my mouth against his skin. I don't want to ruin the rare calm and loving atmosphere we have now. He keeps at it, until I'm trembling in his hands. I wrap my arms around his waist on reflex. I can't believe I'm a slave to my own halo.
When he notices me, and it took him a pretty long time since he was running his hands through my hair to calm himself down, he pushes me away, holding me by my arms. I look at him through my half-lidded eyes. I can feel my own heated cheeks. I was breathing through my mouth then, no, gasping. I feel my lips are too dry and so I run my tongue over it once. Then I say to him, "You shouldn't touch there."
"But you already told me that you wanted me anyway."
"What are you saying?" I ask him as I feel him push me down on the bed.
"We have a lot to talk about."
A/N I cut a lot of scenes in the first part, coz my third person narrative sucks ass.
something to laugh at: i reread the whole thing and realized that the amount of times that beel is mentioned being asleep in this story is too damn high! but how else can they frickle frackle with a baby around? /shot
GAAHHHH. I hate this chapter. grrrrr.. I'm sorry it's shitty, guys.
EDIT: [Dec. 1, 2013 / 2:58 PM / (well... it's that time somewhere in the Eastern Hemisphere)]
Alright. I've gotten enough sleep, so I feel a lot better now. So I fixed the last part as I saw fit. It was rushed. And that cutesy moment between Oga and Furuichi should NOT feel rushed.
Again, thank you MMBC. And also Amity33. After reading through this with your words in mind, I don't feel like it's so bad now. THANK YOU~ That HecaFuru thing is SO gonna be done, and I'm gonna dedicate it to you, MMBC.
[replies to reviews]
Calico Neko gosh. thanks so much for your nice words. It makes me happy knowing I've made someone's day. *hugs*
Kappa Taicho glad you loved it. Hmm.. I bet you weren't expecting that this is how Furuichi is 'saved'. ehehe...
The lurker I didn't know that this one text from Toujou would get so much attention. I laughed at your interpretation of it. And you've made me proud coz that indeed is the actual message he's trying to say. XD
MMBC Wahhh! Thank you for your reassuring words. XD I'm really actually thinking about the whole counterpart thing. I wanna spite Oga coz he's a dumbass and make him think that he's not the one that can heal Furuichi. But really, yin and yang pretty much sums up those two perfectly. So it's really canon that they complement each other.
*does victory dance* I'm so happy you liked the HecaFuru making out scene. XD (tho i'm not too proud of it. it felt rushed)
DUDE, I really meant to make you guys (readers) see that the angel thing doesn't necessarily mean he's 'good' and that he's 'right' and that the readers should side with him. He just deals with things like in a system and that's 'their' definition of good (read: order) So when you say you're happy that Behemoth struck back at the angel, you've made me happy. Coz that means I got the message across. *does another victory dance* Wieee~ I'm so happy that you take the time to make awesome comments like that. They make my day, really. And they get me to put more effort on the content of each chapter. WAHHH. I'm overwhelmed. I can't believe it~~~
I'll really try my best to write that HecaFuru oneshot. XD (this fandom needs to grow!) or actually, I thought of making something like your collection of oneshots, Sporadic, so it's all in one bunch. coz i have a lot of plot bunnies and i can't pick which to write about!
TomAndJerry I have to admit, I was also squealing at that part when Hecadoth was telling Furu to kiss him rather than heal him. XD it's so yaoi manga cliched. wahh, i'm sorry O_O
I didn't know that there would be a lot of people who'd react to the Toujou part. I didn't know that they were shipped like that XD it's adorable
This story is probably ending soon. Two more chapters max after this one. Unless I somehow get inspired again. O_O
Next chapter is probably all angry sex. Or something like that. And they finally get to talk to each other about how badass and sexy the other is when 'possessed'. HAHA.
Hint for next chapter: Oga also has a trigger.