Note: Yes, it's another 'Speed and Ryan were lovers' story. I'm rewatching CSI: Miami from the beginning(Thank God for Netflix) and this demanded to be written. Each chapter will be one episode starting with 3x01 - Lost Son. This story takes place in a world where men can get pregnant.

Chapter 1: Lost Son

Ryan frowned as he heard Tim's phone chirping. They were on vacation and had planned to chill out around the house and maybe hit the beach.

"Don't answer that," he mumbled, not wanting to lose Tim to his crazy job.

"I've got to, babe," Tim said, grabbing the phone. "Horatio wouldn't call me in if it wasn't important. Yeah." He listened to the voice and nodded, "On my way." He hung up and turned to Ryan, "A boat hit a bridge, H needs me to come in." At Ryan's pout, he smiled, "You know H'll comp me for the lost day." He kissed him and slid out of bed, pulling on his clothes. A few minutes later, Ryan heard the Ducatti roar away.

He spent the day lounging around the house, keeping an ear on the police scanner they kept in the house. Mostly, it was the usual chatter, then he heard the words that changed his world forever.

"All units. Shots fired. Officer down, McCauley Jewelers." The rest of the words faded over the rush of blood in his ears and the fears of every cop and firefighter's spouse/significant other/partner flooded over her: Shots had been fired and an officer was down. He tried to tell himself that it couldn't be Tim, there were hundreds of officers in the MDPD, it could be anyone, but his guts were in a knot and that knot only tightened when he heard that the ME had been called.

He spent the next few hours sitting in the living room, trying to quell his panic. He and Tim always called each other when there was an officer-involved shooting to reassure each other that they were okay, and Tim hadn't called. He told himself that it was probably because an officer-involved shooting trumped the bridge thing and Tim was the top Trace/Footprints person in the lab, but he'd never failed to call him before, no matter how busy he was.

Then he heard a car pull up and the sound of feet coming up the walk. Opening the door, he saw the thing that no one ever wants to see: Aaron Jessup and a chaplain were coming towards him.

"No!" The tears he'd been holding back all day slid down his face.

"I'm sorry, Ryan," Aaron said, his face sad, "Tim didn't make it."

Ryan sank against the door frame. "I knew something was wrong when he didn't call me. We always call each other after an officer-involved shooting to tell each other that we're okay." Suddenly, something occurred to him, "Why are you here? I thought someone would be contacting Jack and Diane." For all its stylish modernity, Miami still had a lot of old-fashioned Southern values and one of them was that unless an officer had a spouse listed, the parents were contacted first. Never mind that he and Tim had been living together for three years, they weren't married and therefore, the department wouldn't contact him.

Aaron smiled a little, "Lieutenant Caine will be calling them, but everyone wanted to make sure you were contacted."

He smiled, "I appreciate that." He knew that Tim would probably get a full honors burial, his parents would get the flag and his honors, but he still needed to call them. "Do you want to come in for a drink? It's awfully hot out here."

Aaron shook his head, "No. I know you've got things to do. Chief told me to tell you that you've got bereavement leave, long as you need. He'll take care of the paperwork."

Ryan nodded, "I appreciate that, thank you, and tell the chief thanks for me too."

After Aaron and the chaplain left, he drifted to the phone and dialed Tim's parents in Queens.

"Ryan? I was just getting ready to call you. Did you hear about Tim?" Diane's voice was choked and hoarse.

Ryan smiled through his tears, "Yeah, someone from the department sent a detective Tim knew and a chaplain to tell me."

"We'll be coming down as soon as they'll let us collect Tim's body," Diane said. "Lieutenant Caine said that won't be until after the investigation's over."

Ryan nodded, "Yeah, there'll be an IAB investigation on top of the criminal one and after that, they'll release Tim's body." The thought of Tim being simply a piece of evidence now was more than he could bear.

"Thank you for clarifying that. My hearing shut off when Lieutenant Caine told me," Diane said. "Why didn't he call you first?"

Ryan sighed, "For all the glitz, Miami is still old-fashioned about some things. We weren't married, so they wouldn't call me. The chief is making sure that I get bereavement leave, though."

"That's good. We'll probably stay in a hotel when we come."

"You don't have to do that, Diane. I can make up the guest room for you and Jack."

"You don't have to do that, Ryan. I know you have things to do."

They talked for a few more minutes before Ryan hung up. He walked around their-HIS home, the small Mediterranean Ranch home they'd been renting from his uncle Ron. This was the home they'd planned to build a life together in, and maybe raise a family together. Now, he was alone, Tim would never come home to him again, he'd never bitch about the stupid bystanders, or suspects, or their lawyers, or some other aspect of his job. He knew that Tim had loved his job, in spite of his complaints and he'd been looking forward to working with him in the lab, but now that dream was gone.

The next few days passed in a blur, Diane called him to say that they'd caught the people responsible for Tim's death and the case that had caused him to be in that jewelry store in the first place. Jack and Diane came down from Queens and stayed at the house. The funeral he barely remembered, no one but his patrol friends really paid any attention to him anyway. He knew Tim would've hated the full honors funeral he got, he always hated showy things like that. He sat next to Jack and Diane at the grave service and tried to hold on to his composure as the ceremony went on, the gun salute that made him cringe, the flag going to Diane and having to leave Tim in the cemetery all alone.

They were quiet as they left the cemetery, what was left say? Tim was gone and now they had to go on without him. Ryan knew that he'd never find another man he loved as much as Tim, and right now, he wasn't sure he wanted to do anything but curl up in their bed and never move again.