Saskia is sit in her living room, waiting for Mike to come home. It's gonna be hard, really hard. The Winchesters left at 7 this morning, and she's been sit on her couch for 1 hour and all she's done is drinking tea and smoke cigarettes. She can't decide what to tell him. The truth? That would destroy everything he knows. Another lie? That would be disrespect.
With a lie, he can start over. If she just tells him "I was wrong about the wedding, i want to call it off. I'm unstable, I don't deserve you" well that kind of it's-not-you-it's-me crap, he can find someone else. He can go back to his high school sweetheart Jessie Carpenter who still loves him. His mom will say we all knew this poor Saskia was a troubled mind.
If she tells him the truth, on the other hand, she will tell him that basically, all his childhood fears are real. That the world might be destroyed in a near future. And that she might be a demon-blooded monster, since she can set people on fire.
And what about you darling, how was your day?
Does she also have to confess she had sex with another man on this couch? That she was angry, afraid, needed comfort, and he was there, raw, direct, strong, scarred and sick, everything Mike's not, and that she wanted to drown in that, just for a few minutes? She couldn't look at the older Winchester after that. He still gave her his friend Garth's phone number, promising he would call him and ask him to give her all the infos she needed. He was nice, this Dean Winchester, he bears a special kind of burden, that pain so many hunters have.
But she can't see him again, not now anyway. That awakens bad memories and a certain Stockholm syndrom she's really not proud of.
The keys. She hears Mike's keys. Normally, she would be smiling and running towards him, but she can't move from the couch.
- Hi baby where are you? I brought you back some...Saskia? God what happened?
Mike is worried. The living room is filled with smoke, and Saskia is sit in almost foetal position, not moving, not saying hi, her expression is terrible. He runs to her, takes away her cigarette and her bowl, and then holds her hands, trying to catch her gaze.
-Saskia? Answer me you're scaring me!
She has to say something. But the words don't come out. She still hasn't figured what to tell him. What do i tell him?
- I...I have to tell you something.
- Yes, yes i'm listening, what happened?
- I want to be honest with you...But, but...I don't wanna hurt you...
- You won't hurt me honey. Tell me! Did someone hurt you? Mrs Granger told me you had people over last night, did they...
- No! No they're...friends. They're...
And then everything starts to come out. She said the word "hunters", and it lead to what's a hunter. To how she knows what it is. To everything. To Mama. To Rick, Logan, Pivnik, Lou. The ghosts, the monsters, the curses. She talks, talks, and talks, and keep staring at the ground because she knows if she meets his eyes she won't be able to go on. After minutes, hours, she doesn't know, she stops, and finally looks at him. He's pale. He's devastated.
- I'm so sorry...All these years i wanted to protect you, I wanted to be the girl you deserved...
- No...uh...I'm the one who's sorry. I never thought...I never thought you went through so much, I never saw that...in you.
He's feeling guilty, that's so him.
- I'm a master of desguise, you know.
- But I should have seen, I mean...
- No, no...I was...trained to lie. There's no way you could have guessed...I'm sorry I'm not...the person you thought I was...
- Saskia I...
He has tears in his eyes.
- I'm just starting to...process...what you told me...It's madness! Saskia you...have a really big problem!
- I know you've been through hell and back, in your foster homes but...making up an imaginary world won't make it go away.
- I will get you some help honey, I sware. We'll overcome it. I'll support you, i'll find you a good therapist.
- I'm not sick, Mike.
- Honey, you don't have superpowers. Ghosts, monsters...that doesn't exist! You've been abused, obviously you've been terribly abused, and Nan should have taken you to a doctor instead of keeping you here because...
- Nan understood me.
Saskia rises from the couch. She can't let him walk on Nan's memory. And she doesn't need help, not that kind actually. She was right. He was a good guy, but there's no way he can understand.
- I don't blame you, Mike. And i really care for you, I want you to be happy. I want you to have a normal life.
- Saskia don't...
- I know you mean well. But I'm leaving North Kingston, tonight.
- And what about...
- You'll find a good girl here, someone you can trust, someone sane...
Mike rises too, and comes towards her, holding her shoulders.
- You're not yourself. Saskia, please, take a pill and have a good sleep, you look exhausted. We'll talk again in the morning and will try to work this out. Ok?
- Ok fine.
You're wrong, I'm myself for the first time in years she thought, looking at him walking out her house. I had never noted how obnoxious he could be. I had never noted he treated me like a child. Maybe I liked it? Now I don't. Anyway. He's making it easier.
She just has to pack now, and leave. Find that dirtbag Pivnik.