Pivnik drove in silence. He was terrified. Saskia's eyes were cold and full of despise. They weren't yellow yet, but still. She told him to drive, just drive. He was driving aimlessly, until she suddenly told him to stop and park. They were in the middle of nowhere, outside of the city, on a lonely parking lot. Saskia went outside to smoke 2 minutes ago.
Saskia feels like laughing. That pig is so scared! So scared after ten years! She must have been really scary back then. Oddly enough, she's quite proud. Holding her old gun feels good, she can't defend herself with fire yet, she could blow up the car. Now's time to go back to that car, buy that coward a coffee and see what he has to say.
- Get out.
- Saskia...please don't kill me! I'm sorry for everything I've done!
- Shut up. I just want to talk to you. Scaring you was just a...little painless revenge. There's a dinner on the other side of the road, if you promise not to escape I can buy you coffee, and you'll tell me everything I want to know.
- Uh...okay then...
The dinner was quite terrible. That was kind of a reminder of her hunter's years, when they were going from crappy dinner to crappy motels. Pivnik sat, visibly uneasy, and Saskia ordered two coffees and two cookies.
- So Frank...you sent two hunters on my back, you know that?
- Uh...what? No! What are you talking about?
He looked genuinely surprised.
- No one called you to ask questions about me?
- Oh my...Oh my God! Yes, someone did...A hunter I met a few years ago...I don't hunt anymore but a friend's friend had had a problem and uh...
- Don't care Franck.
- Yeah so that guy called me and asked about you. I said you were...
- Half witch and half demon?
Pivnik was red and sweating.
- Not...not really...Not like that. He wanted me to call a guy who asked questions about you uh..Garth...Or Gerald...He said one of his friends wanted to know if you were a hunter and I said...
- Yeah, don't care. You see Frank, I know my mother was a witch, but for the demon part...I mean Logan was always calling me "devil", but I'd always thought it was just an insult. So, is it? Or do you know something?
- Can I say something first?
The waitress comes with their order. She's nice but she chews her chewing gum with her mouth open. Pivnik takes a sip of his coffee and tries to calm his voice down. He has to say it.
- I'm sorry for not having helped you.
- Well...that's a little late.
- Please, let me finish. I quit hunting the night you...Not because you scared me to death, you did, but uh...What I mean is...I witnessed everything you went through and...maybe you don't remember or maybe you think it was nothing but I tried...I tried to make things a little better for you.
Really? Thinks Saskia. She must look really sarcastic right now because Pivnik is getting even redder.
- L...like with the food. I always gave you some of mine, because Logan...Logan always gave you such a small amount and uh...I know it's not much compared to...And I would have liked to do more...The clothes too...I used to buy you clothes, he didn't want to...
- Thank you.
-What? No don't thank me, said Pivnik, with an awkward smile.
Apparently he doesn't get sarcasm.
- I was trying to make your life a little less...terrible. I know I was an adult and I should have done something. I thought sometimes about taking you away, but...we would have had everyone, the whole crew chasing us...You have no idea how precious you were to them...
- You thought about taking me away? you?
- Yeah I know how it sounds...Me, the fat guy, saving the little girl from...I know. But...that's going to sound cheasy and stupid but you know I...I loved your mother.
- I did. I really did. She was a very brave, and very gentle woman. I had always lived in Rick's shadow you know. I met him when I was 18, he was 20 but already very strong. Anyway I was a good for nothing dropout then and...I became his friend, a hunter, someone living epic things.
He looks like a little boy, she thought, an old little boy.
- When we met you two, I fell in love with your mom, instantly...Don't look at me like that, I know it seems cheesy but it's true. When they died I promised to myself that I would try to protect you. I felt strong with Rick around, but alone, I was still that 18 year old doormat. I failed to do it. I failed you, I failed Leni...
Oh God he's not gonna cry is he?
- Uh ok Frank...I get it, you loved my mom and you tried to protect me...
- I was always thinking that one day I would find the strength to escape with you, but I couldn't. That night...when Logan...did what he did I...thought, what do I do? Do I stay and participate to a crime? Or do I leave?
- You were leaving that night? That was why you were not around? You were leaving me behind. Nice.
- No I wasn't! I was preparing the car, I was waiting for everyone to be asleep. That's why I had to take you to him, he said he wanted to see you. So I thought, I'm just gonna pack my stuff, and hers, and we'll go away when they sleep.
He wanted to save her. Saskia can't believe it. It doesn't seem like he's lying though.
- And then the fire started, and I saw you...getting out of it...unburnt...like this queen of that TV show...
- Daenarys Targaryen?
- Yes but way creapier!...sorry...You were laughing and...well you probably remember.
- I do. But I was amnesic for 6 months.
- You were? Anyway I thought...they turned you into a monster. That's what your mom was most afraid of.
- Ellen was afraid I would turn into a monster?
- Yes...thus the tattoo. She was trying to protect you from that. I'm sorry but...when I saw you I thought...It was over, that you would never go back to normal. So I ran...I ran away...
- And when that guy asked about me...
- I said you were dangerous because I thought...you were still like this but uh...now that i've seen you...you look...good. Healthy.
Healthy must me a compliment in the hunters world.
- Thanks. So, why did my mother was afraid I would turn into something evil?
- I don't know exactly. She said something happened when you were a baby, and that now your blood was corrupt.
- Corrupt? That sounds like...a deal.
- That's what I've always thought. I think your mother made a deal that involved you. And she died when the demon she made a deal with came to claim her soul. I don't know what the deal was about but it clearly gave you your...fire.
That really sounds like Dean's brother's story.
- Did Logan know about it?
- Rick and I knew. Logan didn't. I'm sorry but he was just uh...insulting you. I guess he found out by himself your powers were not only witchcraft. He was mostly jealous.
- He never knew...
- No. I never told him. It could have made him nuts.
- It sure could have.
- Oh uh...i have things that belong to you.
- Things? What things?
- A little booklet that belonged to your mom...There's not much in it, a few names and a few...poems.
- She wrote poetry?
- Yes, beautifully. I still read it...sometimes...
This is so cliché.
- I had some clothes too, but i didn't keep them. I kept your chilhood photos though.
- I have...chilhood photos?
- You do. Do you want to go to my place to take them? They're yours.
- I still don't trust you Frank.
Pivnik looks miserable. It feels weird to see how insignificant someone actually is when you spent years hating that person.
- Saskia...I don't blame you for that...I really don't. You know...Logan...wasn't always like that, I mean...I saw him for the first time when he was a few minutes old. He turned like this when Ava, his mom, died. Rick was always so...hard on him...
- What did she die from?
- Breast cancer...She had had one before he was born, and the pregnancy restarted it...She died when he was 9. And Rick...always blamed the poor kid.
- Rick blamed him for his mother's death?
- Kinda. He was unable to love his son. Unable...That's why Logan was so jealous of you, you had a mother and his father loved you, in his own way...
Saskia tries to imagine Logan as a little boy, lonely, unloved. That doesn't excuse what he did, of course but...she had always felt that in him, that anger, that loneliness. That despair.
- When Rick died I remained with him because I thought maybe he would change back to the kid he used to be...But he got worse...
- You thought you could help him too?
- Yeah...but I'm quite a failure if you hadn't already noticed...
Maybe she can give him a shot. Try to trust a little bit. Try to forgive. And she really wants to see those pictures.
- So are we going yet?
- Going where?
- To your place. To get my stuff.
- Uh yeah! Let's go!
Pivnik didn't show her but in his car, he has a picture of Leni he stole in Rick's RV a long time ago. When he's stuck in the traffic, he passes the time looking at it, imagining the life they could have had.
This time I won't fail you, Leni.