Wild Guns of Cowtown

It was getting crazy in Cowtown. More and more villains were getting gun crazy. You might think this is typical of the Wild West, but no one in Cowtown wanted to get hurt. People were remembering that Marshal Moo Montana's guns fired golden stars, but Dakota's and Cowlorado's fired regular bullets. Normally, Dakota wouldn't use the guns, but his strength, and Cowlorado preferred using his lariat to lasso up some outlaws.

Because he was masquerading as the Masked Bull, Sheriff Terrorbull was using his two pistols more often than ever. Mayor Bulloney often had to take cover from all the gunfire every time there was a bank panic. "I don't understand it," he said to Moo one day after Moo and the boys brought back the Masked Bull from his latest plot failure. "I don't recall ever seeing this much gunfire in recent crime waves. Do you think it's become the norm in this part of the world?"

"Not sure about it, Mayor," Moo replied. "My two pistols fire golden stars instead of bullets. I just use them for self-defense, but the recent crime waves have murderous intentions. I'm sure the Sheriff's been busy."

"He has," said the mayor, covering up the fact the Sheriff was the Masked Bull. "He's out right now apprehending some bank robber. Oh, and we've got a new solitary confinement cell we're working on so that the Masked Bull won't break out so easy." Of course, he was lying about this, since he had taken the Masked Bull into the basement that was nothing but an empty cellar, but that didn't fool Moo. Moo was just pretending to believe him for his sake.

"Do you suppose the Masked Bull breaks out a lot just to get you done for?" the mayor continued.

"I think he does," said Moo, "but that doesn't explain all the wild guns in this town. Wonder if the Masked Bull is responsible for all the crime waves?"

"He's not responsible for that last bank holdup," the mayor replied. "Those two horny toads did it by themselves. At least I was able to test out my new alarm system I had installed."

"Did it work?"

"Oh, absolutely. Works like a charm. I'm just glad that evil's taking a rest right now. I need one myself."

No sooner had the mayor said those words when the neighs of horses could be heard. "Who could that be?" he wondered aloud.

"Oh, that's Dakota and Cowlorado. I think we've got another wave headed our way." Moo ran out the door to Cyclone, his horse. "Hey there, Cowlorado. Dakota. Any more crime waves approaching?"

"Yup," said Dakota. "Just over yonder where J.R. is."

"J.R. wanted us to tell you the Fab 5 are taking care of it. Their official place of residence down in Texas must be really close to Moo Mesa if they're going to be frequent visitors. J.R. still felt you should get the scoop, if you know what I mean."

"I do," Moo replied. "Come on, boys! Let's rodeo!"

"Yippie-eye-oh-ki-yay! Yee-haw!" Cowlorado shouted, mounting his horse, Jezebel. The trio rode off towards the area where J.R.'s teepee was located. When they got there, it was evident that the Fab 5 was defending J.R. from Five Card Cud, with a bunch of—you guessed it—gunfire. Cody and Bryce were doing all the firing while David, Benjamin, and John assigned themselves to be J.R.'s bodyguards. And just like the last time, Saddlesore and Boot Hill Buzzard, normally the Masked Bull's henchmen, were working with Five Card Cud.

"There's no way you can stop me now!" Five Card Cud announced. "I've got more gun power than you'll ever have!"

"That's what you think!" Moo suddenly bellowed as he, Dakota, and Cowlorado jumped off their horses. "Hold your fire, Cody! Bryce! We're coming in to help!"

"Moo?" Cody exclaimed. "Whoo-wee! Boy, ain't I glad to see you! This here varmint's been picking on this here Indian friend of yours, and it was only natural them comrades of mine and I stepped in to help. Not bad for a bunch of bounty hunters, ain't it?"

"Well, now you've got us to stand with you," Cowlorado replied.

"Yup," Dakota agreed. "Let's get 'em!" More gunfire occurred, but this time, golden stars flew out of Moo's pistols. The stars ricocheted off various cliffs until they knocked Saddlesore and Boot Hill unconscious.

"Five Card Cud! I'm coming to collect!" Cowlorado shouted as he chased Five Card Cud down Moo Mesa with his lariat. He said this because during the gun battle, David revealed to him that he ordered the two toad bandits to rob the mayor's bank because all the people who gambled against Five Card Cud and won a ton of money put it in the bank. One couple, whom the cowboys had met earlier because their diamond ring was stolen by Five Card Cud, had won a ton of money playing craps.

Cowlorado managed to lasso the money before Five Card Cud could stop himself from falling off one particular cliff (similar to an experience the Masked Bull once had). "Wait! You forgot your change!" Cowlorado laughed as he watched Five Card Cud land on a cactus and start dancing. Meanwhile, Dakota arrested Saddlesore and Boot Hill Buzzard.

"Y'all okay?" Cody asked J.R.

"I'm fine, and ever so grateful you five helped to save my life," J.R. answered while trying to catch his breath. "I'm just not used to you. Have I met you before?"

"I don't recall, but if y'all have, y'all have," Cody replied. "In case not, I'm Cody Belachman, pride of the Lone Star State. My fellow guncat here is the one they call 'Bandit Bryce' due to amnesia."

"How'd you get the amnesia?"

"When a safe containing $5,000 in cash dropped on my head."

"Ouch," said Moo sympathetically. "That had to smart."

"It did."

"I'll continue to introduce y'all to the rest as we go back to town," Cody promised.

"I appreciate that," J.R. smiled. "I haven't felt this helpless since the incident where Mayor Bulloney hogged all the water." The group made their way back to Cowtown in celebration, and later stopped by the Tumbleweed Saloon, where Miss Lily gave the Fab 5 their first taste of her famous homemade sarsaparilla.


Wild West C.O.W.-Boys of Moo Mesa © Ryan Brown

The Fab 5 © me