don't be shocked. it's a Kurtbastian fanfic, and yes, it's one where Sebastian has an ED. more specifically, he becomes an anorectic. I have this mostly done and in my folder, so I decided that why not post it? Of course, the typical warning: explicit mentions of eating disorders, sexual implications and cancer. as usual, character death is very possible with me.


Sebastian Smythe thought something was amiss when he found Kurt Hummel talking to a boy called Robert Paisley. What a name – fucking Paisley, like the tie that Kurt was wearing.

Sebastian didn't really think much of it. He was busy eating appetisers – olives and delicious fucking brie – when he noticed that Robert and Kurt were getting too close. That was when Robert touched Kurt. It was the kind of touch that wasn't fucking okay.

Too close to Kurt's ass – which Paisley should've known belonged to none other than Sebastian Smythe.

Sebastian was noshing his way through olives when Paisley had walked, Kurt beside him. Paisley was just about Sebastian's height and oh – the shocking bit, Kurt and Robert had matching ties. They were having tie sex behind his back. Something was a fucking miss. He just knew it.

Kurt was smiling as if he'd just received twenty thousand dollars in cash all of a sudden. He had a glass of wine in his hand. Of course, Sebastian knew that was for show. Sebastian himself wasn't a fan of wine – not white. He was a fine of red wine. He wasn't a fan of sweet wine either. He liked it dry, like his aunt's humour.

"You must be Kurt's friend!" Paisley called out as if he'd known the brunette for years. "How are you?"

"Who the fuck are you?" was Sebastian's eloquent response. He knew the tag on his name said it, but honestly, if he was named Robert Paisley, he'd be choking on his own spit whenever he had to tell someone his name.

Kurt was glaring at the tall brunette. "Sebastian!" he snapped coldly, nearly breaking the glass of wine in his hand. "What have I told you about swearing when we're at important dinners? I'm sorry, Mr Paisley. My fiancé is just infuriating sometimes. You must understand. He's still stuck in the hormonal phase. He's going through puberty as we speak. If you would just excuse me for a second…"

Kurt practically forcefully grabbed Sebastian from his position, shooting a cold look towards Sebastian. Kurt had dragged the tall brunette over to a scolded corner before he spat out his frustrations. "What is wrong with you? That is Robert Paisley, Sebastian – editor of Blush magazine. You have to be respectful to him. I will cut you if the reason I don't get my well-deserved promotion is because of you. He's considering putting my designers on the front cover of his issue and also doing an article with me. This is a big thing for me."

Sebastian snorted. "Blush magazine?" he repeated as if it was a joke.

Kurt gave him an icy stare. "Sebastian," he spat out the brunette's name as if it was poison.

"Is everything alright?" Robert Paisley walked towards them, offering an enchanting smile. Kurt gave him another one back before disappearing towards the man.

Paisley put his hand just under the groove of Kurt's back, near his ass. The ass that Sebastian had claimed three fucking years ago. That was his twenty-two year old girlfriend that Paisley was thinking of banging up the wall. He was about ninety percent sure that Kurt was fucking Paisley. Did anyone see Kurt's designs? They were fucking horrible.

Sebastian was just about to walk towards them again before Mrs Rachel Berry had grabbed Sebastian's arm and practically tore him away from the scene. "What are you doing?" the starlet hissed. "This is Kurt's big shot."

"I'm giving Paisley a piece of my mind," Sebastian muttered darkly.

"Are you crazy?" Rachel had exclaimed in a loud whisper. "You can't do this. You'll ruin things for Kurt. He's been working for months just to land a shot at talking to him. Smythe, if you care about Kurt at all, you wouldn't dare do this to him. This is all he's ever wanted. He's been reading that magazine ever since we were teenagers in high school."

"No wonder he never got banged," Sebastian snorted before moving back towards the table with the olives and cheese.

He snorted. No more olives and no more cheese. He decided to go with the finger sandwiches.

Berry was still following him, and she was standing in front of him with her arms crossed over her fluffy pink dress. "Really?" she called out. "Is this what you do? Just eat yourself to death when you go to these dinners with Kurt? You do know that there's a dinner right after, right?"

Sebastian snorted. "I'm just fuelling my appetite."

"You're a sad person, Smythe," Rachel had finally decided, shaking her head at the display that he was showing.

Here Sebastian Smythe was – or his remains really – inhaling bit after bit of food at the buffet table. He had no job, and he had declined his Father's offer in taking in the man's company.

Jean Smythe was battling cancer, something that Kurt was aware of. He wanted someone to take over the company, fill in his shoes but Sebastian couldn't do it. The man still left the offer on standby but Sebastian couldn't imagine being the CEO of any company, much less something like his Father's company. His Father worked in the organic type industry – he had two lines, one for food and one for cosmetics. His Mother used to run the cosmetic line before she died, and now, he was forced to run that too.

They were one of those companies with the cutesy names (Bunny Bites) with a picture of the most adorable bunny cartoon ever. Sebastian had to take credit for that. He drew it when he was six. It was the first thing he ever drew and he was so self-conscious about it. He remembered that much (or really that little) of his childhood at least.

Just as he was munching away his troubles, he realised that Kurt and Paisley had disappeared from view completely.

"Where did Paisley go?" Sebastian asked with a rather irritated tone to his voice. He hated that he can't find Paisley or Kurt and he hardly doubted that they were okay.

He then found Kurt's silhouette outside. That shitty hairdo was unmistakable.

He had practically ran outside with Berry running straight after him. She tripped over those huge silver heels she wore to make herself not a midget and he found himself going outside. He saw that Paisley was offering Kurt flowers and they were laughing by the fucking moonlight.

The only logical thing that Sebastian could do was tackle Paisley straight into the fucking fountain and thus, ruining his wardrobe entirely.

Kurt looked like he'd been hit with a slice of cake. His face was first filled with shock, and then fury soon overtook his facial expression.

Kurt had pulled Sebastian off of Paisley. "Oh my God, Mr Paisley, I am so sorry. I apologise so much for my fiancé's behaviour. He's just—"

"It's not a problem, Kurt," Paisley offered him a sickly sweet smile. "It wasn't a good suit anyway." He pulled out his thick-rimmed glasses just to wipe them out. "The things that our loved ones do, right?"

"Yes!" Kurt nervously exclaimed. "I…I really would have that cleaned for you."

"Oh, it's no problem." Paisley shook his head, offering Kurt a bright smile. "I'll discuss it with your fiancé though. If you don't mind."

"Oh, it's no problem, Mr Paisley."

Kurt had practically run off straight after that, looking like a teenage boy that was humiliated in front of his crush. Sebastian looked at Paisley, whose express changed from rather loving and caring to a cold hearted dragon. The man looked cross, and most importantly, he looked like he wanted to ruin Sebastian.

"Listen here, Smith—" Paisley's tone had changed drastically.

"It's Smythe," Sebastian corrected.

"Whatever," Paisley obviously didn't give a fuck about Sebastian and wasn't actually as kind hearted and as saint fairy-like as he appeared to be. "I'm willing to turn a blind eye to this—only because Kurt's such an exceptional designer. Besides, you obviously want to mess up your relationship with him. He's such an exceptional boy – Sebastian."

"You just want to get in his fucking pants," Sebastian spat out.

Paisley glared at him. "Now, Sebastian, be nice," he said, patting the brunette's hair as if he was a disobedient pup. "I'd have to let you know that I have a good chance of getting into your fiancé's pants. With the way you react towards him and I, he could so easily leave you."

"You're a disgusting man, Mr Parsley," Sebastian spat out.


"Whatever," Sebastian repeated with a smirk to his lips before he added on, "Kurt will see through your shit."

"Are you sure about that?" Paisley asked, smirking in return. "Are you sure that things haven't gone below the belt with Kurt and I? You know you would've fucked a position of higher power just to be noticed, wouldn't you? Come on, Sebastian, let's be fair – you're Ohio's slut. You're just bound to break some time soon. If Kurt doesn't give you your daily blow-job, you'll just kneel over and die."

Kurt had returned only moments after. "I'm sorry, Mr Paisley, but I just got a call from my Father. He's back from the airport and I have to drag the fiancé over there too, so if you'd just let Sebastian and I leave…" he shook his head. "I'm so sorry about your suit. I'm sorry that Sebastian just about ruined it."

"It's okay," Paisley's tone had turned to so sweet it was practically sugar. "I was thinking that Sebastian could be wearing one of your designs actually. Thinking of putting him on the cover. His Mother was a model, wasn't she? Natalie Smythe?"

Sebastian glared over at Paisley. "Her name is Nathalie, you pretentious asshole—"

Kurt cut off Sebastian quickly. "Yes, yes," he smiled warmly at Sebastian. He grabbed Sebastian's arm, pinching the skin under his wrist to tell the tall brunette to stop. He offered a sickly sweet smile towards Paisley. "I like the thought of it actually. Just tell me what the issue theme is and I'll concoct something up. Thank you so much for giving me a chance, Mr Paisley."

"It's not a problem," Paisley responded with a bright grin. "Does Sebastian have a problem with wearing androgynous clothing?"

"Fuck yeah!" Sebastian snapped.

"Of course not!" Kurt yelled at the same instant.

"Which one is it then?" Paisley asked.

Kurt was quick to answer that question. "He's just fine with it. Aren't you?" he gave a rather icy look towards Sebastian, and the tall brunette slowly but surely nodded his head.

Yeah. His Father was dying on a hospital bed and the first thing that he was going to tell him when he was going to visit him after his chemo was that he was going to pose in feminine clothing in an issue of a magazine called Blush. That was definitely okay.

"Splendid!" Paisley exclaimed, giving them both a hug. Paisley was inching forward to Sebastian's ear before saying, "You may want to consider liposuction. You're too bloody fat to be a model."

Sebastian froze in that instant, tensing up but then relaxed when Paisley pulled away. Paisley had disappeared very quickly.

"I'll leave you to go to pick up your Father, Kurt!" Paisley exclaimed.

"You never told me that your Dad was—"Sebastian was cut off by Kurt.

"That's because it was a lie," Kurt's voice was dripping with fury. "You embarrassed me so much tonight. Next time, I'm not bringing you to one of these dinner parties. Never again. I'd rather you stay at home getting drunk a thousand times."

That was an actual hit to Sebastian. He felt like a little child that had accidentally humiliated his Mother in a group of her friends. He looked down at his loafers, with his cheeks reddening at the thought.

"Furthermore," Kurt added on, as if he couldn't see that Sebastian didn't want to hear it. "You are doing that shoot whether you bloody like it or not. You are my fiancé. You are supposed to think of my best interest – not yours, and I have wanted to be in that magazine for years, Sebastian. Years. My designs. This is an actual honour this man is bestowing upon you. Do it. Do whatever he says."

Consider liposuction, Sebastian snorted to himself. He poked at his stomach. It was actually going outward now. He had an actual belly. That was gross. It wasn't a big pudge but his nights of nibbling on cheese, olives, finger sandwiches, eating dinner and then a huge scoop of gelato wasn't going to help him lose weight. What did he need to lose anyway? Five pounds? Ten pounds? Ha. He could lose whatever he gained. He will regain confidence, and he will show that Paisley bloke what Sebastian Smythe was made out of it and it wasn't fat.

That morning, Sebastian woke up with a fire in his belly (and hunger). He had paddled towards his washroom, stripping down to stare at the mirror.

Okay. He definitely did have some pudge going on there. His arms and legs were still the same. Whatever he gained – he gained fully on his stomach. He got on his scale. 186. 180-fucking-6. The highest he could ever remember being was 170, so this new number was actually disgusting. Okay.

When he met Hummel, he was twenty pounds less than this. When he met Hummel, he was twenty pounds less than this.

He turned to face the mirror again and suddenly, cringed. He could actually see how he'd gained twenty pounds of fat in his tummy. His arms were still petite, his thighs have expanded with the gelato he'd been having late at night but his legs were just fine.

Fuck it. He needed to lose some serious weight.

The thought of going to the gym was making him feel rather disturbed. Huh. He could always do one of those stupid diets. He had gone off to draw a warm bath, got his laptop out (another habit Kurt bitched at him about) and browsed through diets.

He had gone to do his BMI. 23.9. Completely normal weight. Bullshit. He had the pudge of a fatass. The tummy he was sporting was that of a man that was a forty-five year old cop that ate doughnuts all fucking day long.

Ha. Wikipedia. Diets on Wikipedia…

The door swung open and Kurt was standing by the doorway, completely decked into a suit. He was wearing his new shiny loafers. Shit was real.

"Okay, I am going to go to Greece now," Kurt explained, voice a little rougher than usual. "I am still pissed at you f or last night, so I do not want you to be driving me. Blaine is going to be here in a few days and if you try to get into his pants, I will cut off your hands and—what did I say about bringing the laptop to the bathroom?"

Sebastian snorted. "Make sure you remember to wash the screen," he snorted. He paused for a moment. "Did you feed Scotty?"

"I am not touching your mongrel," Kurt said, referring to Sebastian's Dutch shepherd which the shorter brunette was convinced Sebastian loved more than life itself. "Send your regards to your Father for when you see him. I heard that he's recovering quite well."

"Yeah," Sebastian nodded his head, his voice a bit lower than usual. He didn't like to think about his Father.

Kurt had left soon afterwards. Sebastian had found himself staring at the screen, reading it up. All of them sounded unappealing. Eating only apples for the rest of his life sounded like it would work. Maybe he should just avoid eating as much as possible—

His eyes had caught the name Shakeology. That sounded like something he'd do. He went on the website, read it off. He'd have to exercise. He grimaced. Oh well. Worth a shot. He made purchases recklessly, and leaned back to enjoy his bubble bath.

When he got out of the bath, he wore an oversized sweater, some of his sweatpants, and found Scotty to feed him. He spent the next few days playing with Scotty and making fun of Dr Phil for his spare time.

Whenever he texted his Father, asking him to come over, the man responded with 'not now' and 'I'll tell you when you can come over.' The brunette felt a bit insulted.

Halfway through watching Dr Phil, an add came up for a restaurant and Sebastian was mid-stroking Scotty when he realised that he knew that restaurant. Specifically, he knew that man that was standing there advertising it. It was a boy that he used to bully back in high school named Bradley. He had braces and horrid teeth. Now, he had the most perfectly muscled body in the planet and a dazzling smile. An infuriating Sebastian had shut off the TV, and decided to take Scotty for a walk.

When he came back, his Shakeology stuff was here. Okay. Time to start.

After reading the stuff, he felt a little discouraged but he guessed he had to. Kurt told him he had to at least. He had pressed a kiss towards Scotty's forehead, telling him he'd be back, and left the dog with one of the maids before he left to go downtown to buy whatever shit he needed.

He went downtown to buy a shitload of stuff. Weighed himself—he'd managed to gain a pound since last time he weighed himself. In his defence, he had to eat pizza before he even thought of going on a diet, so it just made sense to eat half of a huge one (he never wanted to see pizza ever again in his life at this point). He stowed away most of the alcohol, had given his keys to the maid and told her she could do whatever she wanted with his stash (if only Kurt knew that he was letting the maid get drunk).

He was sure that he could just cut out alcohol from his diet and lose weight. He drank a shit load of alcohol on a daily basis, but this was personal. This was Paisley telling him to lose weight, and he would. He would just to prove Paisley wrong – Sebastian had all the bloody self-control that he needed.

He tore off the page that told him how many calories he needed to eat in a day to maintain healthy weight loss. Who the fuck cared about healthy? No book was going to tell Sebastian how much he needed to eat. He was going to do fine on as little as fucking possible.

Okay. Now, he just had to figure out how to cook oatmeal…

A few hours later, he found himself covered in oats. The microwave had made his oatmeal explode. He was burning, and he fucking hated dieting already. He turned to the other sane breakfast option, made himself two eggs with a slice of toast. There was something about blueberries too, but Sebastian was not going to start eating blueberries.

Scotty was hungry, so Sebastian had given him some of the eggs. That must be good.

"What happened to the kitchen?" Sebastian looked up to see Blaine standing there, placing the spare key Kurt had given him on the counter and staring at the beige goop on the floor. "Is that porridge?"

"Yeah, before it butchered my microwave," Sebastian snorted, shaking his head.

Blaine had put two and two together rather quickly. "You're on a diet."

Scotty seemed to have identified said beige goop on the floor as food as proceeded to lick it off. Sebastian remembered Kurt complaining about how Sebastian shouldn't feed the dog so much. He's growing as big as you are, Sebastian scoffed to himself.

"Don't laugh." Sebastian snapped, but Blaine had collapsed on the floor laughing.

"The Sebastian Smythe is on a diet!" Blaine exclaimed, throwing his arms outward. He shook his head. "Really, Sebastian—you don't need to go on a diet. If anything, I finally see that you have a figure."

"I gained twenty fucking pounds," Sebastian spat out. "I blame Hummel for him trying to plump me up and the cake tasting he takes me too….also, the dinner parties he takes me too. The good is shitlessly good there."

Blaine shook his head. "I honestly cannot believe that you are on a diet."

"Fuck off." Sebastian spat out. He honestly didn't know how Blaine's magical haloness had disappeared, but it had, and now, Sebastian was just irritated.

Scotty was playing with Sebastian's slipper, and the brunette had just finished breakfast. He was bloody starving. He wanted his bacon, and he wasn't particularly fond of whole-wheat anything. His body better hurry up and lose those extra pounds, or else he'd have to actually result to liposuction.

Sebastian stirred in his black coffee before taking a sip. "Ever heard of a bloke called Robert Paisley?"

"Did you meet him?" Blaine's eyes widened, as if Sebastian had said 'Brad Pitt' instead of Mr Parsley. Sebastian nodded his head. The ravenette quickly sat down. "Editor of Blush magazine—everyone reads it, Sebastian. Everyone."

"Great. I'm going to be posing in feminine clothing in it," Sebastian spat out, placing a hand on his neck. "It's going to be Kurt's design or something. It's going to be shitty."

"You cannot ruin this for Kurt," Blaine quickly said. "Kurt loves that magazine so much."

"If I heard that one more time, I'm going to upchuck," or maybe it was the eggs. Sebastian stirred in his coffee. He needed sugar and milk in this thing. Maybe he could have a cup of normal coffee if he skipped lunch…huh… he looked at Blaine whom was just nodding his head at the brunette.

"Well, yeah. The thing is a lot of people know how important this is to Kurt," Blaine smiled warmly. "I'm sure he talks about it all the time with you."

"You think I listen to everything he says?" Sebastian snorted. "He's a damned chatterbox. He talks even when I'm in the bloody shower."

"Point taken."

Sebastian looked down at his plate. He was starving. When was lunch?

xo Peanut Butter/Sam