Colds, Injuries, and Complaints About the USS Enterprise

"Don't we have any damn tissues?" Kirk snapped, frantically throwing things out of storage compartments in his search.


"Damn. Bones was right. We should have brought a med kit," Kirk muttered, not looking up.

"Cabdain, your worry is nod necessary. Id was nod logical do assume dad..." Sniff. "Dad I would be subjeded do a bunch..." Sniff. "A punch on the nose."

Kirk looked back at Spock, who had just taken his fingers away from his nose. The local mayor type person- Kirk didn't know what it was called here- on the planet they were surveying had punched Spock directly in the nose with an terrible crack. The blood had started pouring immediately, gushing from Spock's nose as though it were a faucet. And yeah, Kirk knew that Spock had green blood, but damn if watching that much green run from Spock's nose wasn't weird and scary.

"It should stop bleeding within five minutes," Spock said, before pressing his nose to the sleeve of his tunic. Blue stained with green.

"You're losing a shit ton of blood," Kirk said, returning in his quest to find something similar to tissues.

"Logical. My nose is broken."

"Stop reminding me!" Kirk said, continuing to throw things aside. "Oh! Here!"

He had found a travel package of formula enhanced tissues. With several pushes of the button on the package, he accumulated a handful and passed them to Spock.

Spock took them and pressed them to his nose gingerly. His eyes flickered up to meet Kirk's. "Cabdain, id would be mos' logical do redurn do da negotiations," Spock said, voice muffled again from the pressure on his nose.

Any other time, that would have been funny, the way Spock was talking so imperfectly. But now it wasn't funny at all, Spock's tunic stained green and Kirk's gold command speckled with his first officer's blood, too.

"Right... Right," Kirk muttered, turning to the shuttle's door. "Stay here. I'm going to have Bones beam down. I'll be back after I've dealt with these bastards."

Spock raised an eyebrow.

"These... people, I meant," Kirk amended, ducking out of the shuttle door.

Spock sighed, swapping out tissues and leaning forward as a river of blood trickled past his lips.

So, this series will include anything from the common cold to allergies to the heating system aboard the Enterprise being out. Hence colds, injuries, and complaints. It will feature all the characters- Spock, Kirk, Bones, Sulu, Chekov, Uhura, Scotty. Heck, I might even throw in some Into Darkness characters. Each oneshot is its own story. They will not be connected. Lots of random h/c goodness.

Bones is up next. :) And like I said, it will involve all characters, so if you don't like what you see immediately, chances are, you'll find something you care for sooner or later.

I do not own Star Trek. Thank you!