Even though it is just a short drabble, I still don't own One Piece.
Not So Complicated
Zoro was pretending not to listen: he had his eye shut and his hands behind his head as he leaned against one of the trees on the lawn-deck, but as much as he tried to ignore the cook's rant, he just couldn't ignore the subject.
It had all started pretty simply: they were all just sailing along like usual, with nothing to do in between islands, and Usopp had struck up a pretty harmless conversation with Luffy. Luffy had mentioned something about how Boa Hancock kept insisting that the simplest of things meant she and the rubber-man were married, and that was when Sanji got involved. And after several long speeches about "How dare you play with a woman's affections you Shitty-Rubber-BASTARD?!" Sanji had demanded that all of the men attend a lesson given by him about how to properly treat women on the lawn-deck.
Soon all the men were on the deck watching Sanji pace back and forth barking random topics at them; some listened intently like Chopper and Luffy (who was under threat that he wouldn't be eating if he didn't), while the others were mainly bored and zoning out. Zoro himself had never really intended to listen in the first place; he didn't give a damn about any of the cook's orders, or lessons on how to treat women, in fact, the only reason he was even there was because he had already been trying to nap under the tree before Sanji had started his little class session. Somewhere in all of the cook's topic changes, the lesson had somehow landed on wedding proposals, and try as he might, Zoro would be lying if he said he wasn't at least intrigued by the subject.
Zoro lazily cracked opened his eye, taking in his surroundings. He could only see the backs of most of his fellow nakama who were sitting in a semi-circle listening to the cook. Said cook was still pacing back and forth in front of the men, occasionally directing his sole attention onto one of them and pointing at them with a threatening finger. He could feel Nami's presence to the left of him as she sat in her lawn chair reading the latest news-paper. Robin was the only person not on deck, he could feel her presence with his Kenbunshoku Haki, and knew she was up on the garden deck watering her flowers, but had the suspicion that she was keeping track of Sanji's entire lesson.
"A proposal should be as grand as the woman that you are proposing to. Take Nami-swan for instance…" Sanji continued to explain to the men, dragging Zoro's attention onto the conversation. "If someone were to propose to Nami they would need to go to extra lengths to impress someone as beautiful and wonderful as her. They would need to make sure the atmosphere was perfect and romantic. There would need to be candles, lots of candles, and flowers. There would need to be flowers in vases completely surrounding the room and the entire floor would need to be covered in flower petals. The lowly bastard would have to get down on his knee… no, make that both knees, and beg her to take his hand in marriage. And if it wasn't perfect, he should be happy if she gave him the time of day to even hear him out… Isn't that right Nami-SWANNN!?" Sanji bellowed out over the deck for the mikan-head to hear.
"Yes of course Sanji-kun." Nami said while waving her hand dismissively causing the cook to go into an instant noodle-dance fit with a heart in his one visible eye.
"Oi Sanji… Wouldn't all the flower petals and all the candles be a fire hazard? Especially if the flower petals were dried out." Usopp asked the cook, stopping Sanji's noodle dance instantly as he turned his attention, and irritation, onto the long-nose.
Sanji was just about to reply to him when he started to get bombarded by all sorts of questions.
"Oi, you're not planning to do this kind of thing on the Sunny are you cook-bro? I already get tired of having to fix all the stuff you and swords-bro break when you fight, I don't need you setting Sunny-bro on fire too." – Franky
"They're not going to be scented candles are they? I'm not sure my nose could take something like that." – Chopper
"While you are on your knees proposing do you think you would get a nice view of her panties? Yohohoho!" – Brook
"I'm hungry, since I've listened to all of this will you cook me some meat now?" – Luffy
Sanji dropped his head in defeat. "I should have known that this was all far too complicated for you baka." The cook removed a pack of cigarettes from his jacket before taking one out to light. He inhaled deeply before addressing the rest of them. "Fine… class dismissed. Now all of you bastards go find something to do while I start getting dinner prepared."
"Yosh! I'm going to get to eat some meat soon!" Luffy said as he jumped up from his seat on the lawn before sprinting up the stairs to go sit on his favorite spot on top of the figure head until dinner would be called. He was soon followed by the rest of the male members of the crew as they all went their own separate directions to find something to entertain their own time with.
As Sanji started to pass Zoro and Nami to head up to the kitchen, the swordsman quickly closed his eye to hide the fact that he had been paying attention. But regardless of how much he tried, he couldn't get the cook's words out of his head. 'Does it really need to be that complicated?' He thought. 'I mean sure women can be demanding, and a real pain in the ass at times, especially a certain one, but they wouldn't need all of that crap just for a guy to propose to them would they? If you ask me, all the guy would need to do is show the woman he is serious and she would probably say yes…'
Zoro cracked his eye back open and took a look around the deck to see if anyone else was there, he found pleasant satisfaction that all the men had completely disappeared, the only one left on deck was Nami still sitting in her chair reading the paper. "Oi Nami" he said to get her attention as he sat up straight to look towards her.
"Hmmm" she responded while never looking away from the paper in her hands.
"Do you want to get married?"
His question caused her to rest the paper on to her lap and to look at him and gauge how serious he was. After looking into his one good eye for a few moments she answered with a quick "Sure."
Zoro looked back at her, his eyebrow raised inquisitively before he continued "To me?"
"Yeah, why not?" The mikan-head answered again with a shrug of her shoulders before picking the paper back up and continuing to read where she had left off. "Just remember that I'm going to pick out my own ring and add it to your debt."
"Hmph… Whatever, as long as I get to pick out the sake we toast with." With a smug look on his face Zoro returned his hands to behind his head and got back in his napping position. 'I knew that damn cook didn't know what he was talking about. That wasn't complicated. Not so complicated at all.'
The swordsman closed his eye to go back to sleep but heard light footsteps approaching them. He already knew who it was and wasn't surprised in the least when she said "Congratulations Nami, and you too of course kenshi-san." Zoro could almost hear the polite and amused smile on Robin's face, but made no efforts to open his eye and address her.
"Thank you Robin." Nami told her without putting the paper down.
"So when are the two of you going to make it official and tell the rest of the crew?"
"I'll leave that up to Zoro to figure out and deal with." Nami said in an almost mischievous tone.
Zoro's eye snapped open in realization: the proposal he could handle, it came down to a yes or no answer, but telling the rest of his friends and having to deal with all of their crap… now that was going to be complicated.
Okay… so I'm not really sure where this idea came from = I think it popped into my head while I was reading something else, or maybe watching something, or maybe it has something to do with something else entirely XD… regardless; it was just a fun little idea that I wanted to write about before I forgot it.
Well this is officially the shortest story I've ever written. Short or not, I still would like to hear what you all think… so thanks for reading and please review.