?ON THE SET OF FUSHIGI YUGI: A TWISTED PARODY?
By SakuraWorshiper With The Aid Of Shangri-la
A/N: I do not own Fushigi Yuugi, Slayers, Gundam Wing, Ranma ½, CardCaptor Sakura, Revolutionary Girl Utena, Cowboy Bebop, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Sailor Moon, *OR* the Hamster Dance song! Ok, here's the deal -_-" even *I* don't know how this will turn out... The idea just came to me, while I was flossing my teeth... Weird time to get ideas, ne? But all of my weirdness aside, I think this will be a *really* funny, PWP fic! It's just what I've been trying to come up with for a while! *SMILES* I know, I know.... I should stop writing these pointless stories and get on with the self-insert! Well, *BLEGH* *raspberry*! I don't wanna!!! It's 11:30pm, already and I *still* have to write the ending for the Nuriko fic!!! *CRIES* So don't be *mean* or *cruel*!! I'm trying my *best*! *Dodges object* Ha! Ya missed me! .... Aack! *Table slams into face and author falls over unconscious*
Alright! Since you idiots went and knocked out the author, I, her subconscious have been forced to take over! MUWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! You really don't have *ANY* idea what gets pushed into me!!! So, while I'm in control, all I can say is "Be Afraid! Be Very Afraid!" Let us begin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-_-" No! No, I'm fine! *author wheezes* I can write! Daijoubu! (Oh yea! From time to time, my subconscious might try to take over.... So if he does you can call it Subby k?? -_-")
PG 13 for swearing and mild sexual references.
"LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION!"
"Oh, I'm so glad you're still alive!"
Director is in tears, "It's so sad! That's it! Love baby, that's what we need!"
"I'm just glad I got here in time to save you..."
All is quiet while the two wait for Tokaki's entrance.
"So, Soi baby! Wanna go out for dinner with me some time? You look stressed out!"
"EW, you old pervert! Get away from me! MIBOSHI!! SAVE ME!!!"
"AHEM!! WHO is supposed to be in this scene?" The Director is glaring at Tokaki.
"Umm....." the Byakko Seishi flips through his screenplay, trying to find the scene.
"YOU! YOU AHOU!!!!!!!!!! NOW GET IN THERE!!!!!"
A grumbling Tokaki takes his place.
"FINE! Take it from the top! And Miaka?"
"I need a little more love! You gotta really show Toma-baby you care! OK?"
Miaka sweatdrops, "sure....."
"ALRIGHT! LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION!"
"OH! I'm JUST SO GLAD You're Still ALIVE!!!!!"
"I'm just glad I got here IN TIME TO SAVE YOU!!!!"
"Tomahome?! THAT OLD MAN IS STARING AT ME!!!!!"
"You old LECH! HYAAA!!!"
"Is that any way to treat your master?!"
Tomahome falls unconscious.
"Oh, that was PERFECT!!!!"
"Cha! I was much better!" Tasuki is standing off-set with his arms folded.
"Tasuki, you were cool! Let me get some clothes on and we can take our break together!"
"Sure, Miaka! But you know, you may as well keep your clothes off...."
Tomahome jumps off the ground and proceeds to lunge at the bandit, "you.... Hentai!!!!"
Tasuki easily blocked his attack, "hey, just because you're a couple during filming, off stage, don't forget, she likes me better!"
He did not finish his sentence, on account of he was flattened by Ashitare.
"Tasuki!! I think you're the coolest! I love your fangs!"
"What the hell!"
Miaka came running out of her trailer, "Tomo and Nakago are doing the nasty in my bed!!!!!"
Tomahome threw Ashitare off of him and ran into said room, "that Bastard! He said he loved me!" He looked into the room, to find exactly what Miaka had said, "Nakago? How could you? I- I thought you loved me??" He was backing out of the trailer tears forming in his eyes.
"I'm sorry, Toma-kins. But it just wouldn't have worked out. You know, us being from different countries and all. I'm no good at long-distance relationships, and besides, you're not as rough as I like....." the General explained.
Tomahome ran out wiping away at his tears. "I can't believe he'd cheat on me, like that!"
"Hey, Toma-baby! I'm always available!"
"Uhh..... sorry Yui, you're not my type."
"Why not? Nakago and Yui-sama are exactly the same! They're both blonde-haired scheming bitches and-"
"What was that Suboshi?!"
"Umm.... Nothing Yui-sama! Eh heh heh heh....."
"You really should learn when to keep your mouth shut, *younger brother*."
"Oh yea? Well I'm sorry I'm not perfect like you Mr. I Infiltrated The Suzaku And *Almost* Killed Them Using My Stupid Wooden Flute!!!!!! Just because Mom and Dad like you better, doesn't mean you can boss me around on set!!"
"Yes, it does!"
"Oh, that's it!! I should have let Tomo kill you!!! Go YO-YO's Of Death!!!!"
They run off into the distance, shouting insults at each other.
"Oh Hotohori-sama!! I love your outfit!!!"
"Why thank you Nuriko...."
"Oh, Director-sama?" the cross-dresser sang out across the set.
"Well.... Since I'm dead and Hotohori is in Konan..... can we take the day off?"
"But.. Hotohori has a scene coming up and-"
The door slams as the two Seishi walk out.
"You see Taiitsu-kun. I can't be a student of yours, because every-time I see your face I wanna hurl no da. And besides, the Nyan Nyan are just too cute to live with you no da! You should let them fix your face na no da!"
"Oh, you die!"
An SD imp goes flying into the distance.
"Oh great! Taiitsu-kun why'd you do that?! He's in the next scene!"
"He deserved it! With his damn "no da's" and his "I'm so cute, look at me" attitude! I can't stand monks!!!"
"But Taiitsu-kun! Listen, baby... He's essential to the rest of the plot! Can't you bug Nuriko or Hotohori? At least they aren't in the *NEXT SCENE*!!!!!!"
"I'm sorry. I'll try not to send anyone into another country next time...."
"Good!" the director looks around for the others, "hey where'd Toma, Tasuki and Miaka go? They start the next scene in 5 minutes!! Argh! Today is not going well!!"
There was a popping sound and four Nyan Nyans came flying down on him, "we help!"
"Oh, why thank you." The little girls escorted him to his chair. One produced a pitcher of lemonade, while another gave him a fluffy pillow, and the other two proceeded to rub his feet and shoulders. "You're so tense! Let us heal you!"
"You are *too* kind to me!"
Suddenly a burst of laughter came from somewhere. Everyone turned to see Chiriko and Miboshi bent over a book. They are both howling with laughter. (Which for Miboshi, is a very *scary* thing!)
Mitsukake walks up to them, "what are you too doing?"
"Hmm? Oh Mits, we're just reading a manga that Miaka gave to me! It's hilarious!"
"I see," the doctor said sweat-dropping. Leaving them to their book he turned to find Soi standing in front of him. "Yes, Soi?"
"Mitsukake, I... I-"
"Yea, what is it? I haven't got all day ya know!"
"Well... I think your very attractive and I was wondering if you'd like to go out to dinner with me sometime??" The purple-haired girl was blushing furiously and staring holes in the ground.
"I'll think about it..... Here's my card. Call me sometime after work. Ciao!"
"Ahhhh....." Soi clutched the card to her chest and fainted.
Miboshi and Chiriko looked up at the swooning girl, "is she dead?"
"I hope so.... I didn't like her very much..." They both got evil gleams in their eyes.
"Yes, most definitely!"
The two set to work and moments later......
"Eek! What the Heck?! What is with this outfit?!"
Chiriko and Miboshi looked up at their work, their eyes shining, "don't you like your new costume? You're Sailor Soi!" They collapsed into laughter. Soi ran off to find a mirror which was conveniently placed on the set.
She inspected herself with growing anger and shock. Her hair had been done up into odango's and she was wearing a very skimpy version of the Sailor Seishi outfit. "AHHH!!!!!! I AM *NOT* A SAILOR SEISHI!!!! I'M A SHICHISEISHI!!!!!" She whirled around to the two young offenders, "you two will pay!" She began to summon her lightning when....
"Sailor Moon! I'll save you!" Soi was swept off her feet by Tuxedo Mask. She pulled a hammer out of hyper-space and bashed him with it.
"Don't touch me you Perve!!! I'm *not* your damn Sailor Moon!!!" This time she summoned her lightning and blasted the masked man into the next dimension.
"Wow Soi! That was great!"
She whirled on them and would have knocked them both into the other realm as well if it weren't for the fact that her outfit was embarrassingly tight. She blushed and ran to her trailer, shouting threats.
Subby: Ok! This is boring! I bet all your readers are *so* tired of this fic!
Author: No! It's just getting good! I swear!
Subby: Sure it is.... Now that I'm here to take over!
Author: No!!!! You can't!
Subby: Yes I can! Your readers want me to.... They're bored out of their minds! Just look at them!
Authir: *looks at readers: they are all falling asleep with bored expressions on faces* *cries* It's true! I'm a *horrible* writer!!! Waaa..........
Subby: Don't cry! Daijoubu! I'll take over and will see if they like my ideas better! Besides, that last appearance by Tuxedo Mask gave me a *great* idea!!!
Author: *sniffles* Really?
Subby: *beams* Yup! You just sit back and relax!
Author: *still sniffling* k.......
Subby: ok! Back to the fic!!!!