Just finished watching the show and this couple is too hot and intriguing and dynamic to ignore for a whole year. This'll probably be just random snippets into their lives, past, present and future. Some angst, some fluff, some smut. May or may not stay cannon. I'm not sure the year on the show, or how it's different from the book, but I'm basing it on them being in prison now, 2013, so this will work forward and back from that.
As usual, I own nothing.
"Hey baby, wanna go grab something to eat?" Piper squeezes my shoulders and drops a kiss to the top of my head as I furiously type an email to my idiot boss about how I can't possibly get the amount of heroin he wants from point A to point B in 48 hours without being careless and likely getting quite a few people arrested. I can feel my entire body tense at having to tell Piper I'm working yet again. I feel like a fucking parrot.
"Pipes, I'm dealing with a bunch of heat right now from the higher ups. How about later?"
"Have you even eaten today Alex? Taken a shower? Seen the sun? It's like you're in prison, only in the nicest hotel in Paris."
"Sorry." I know I'm being short with her but I can't stop myself. Someone has to make the money Piper and unfortunately this is how I make ours.
"Sorry? Don't apologize to me, apologize to your body." She gives me a light shove towards my laptop screen and I hope she gets the urge to go shopping soon or visit a museum or get herself something to eat if she's so damn hungry.
"Great Alex, this has been a wonderful conversation."
"I'm sure you talk to your fucking mules more than you talk to me, your girlfriend."
"Jesus, sorry Piper. Am I not giving you enough attention? Want me to up your Amex limit?"
"Fuck you Alex, you make me sound like some Upper East Side princess. I don't want more money, I want some time with you."
"Ok Piper, ok. I'll be done in a while and we can do whatever you want." I think I may sound like a dismissive asshole, but I really need Piper to go do her own thing while I concentrate. We're closing in on a huge new dealer and I stand to make a big chunk of change and with that I can keep buying Piper all the stuff she likes and take her to places she's never….I'm interrupted from my thoughts when she roughly spins my desk chair around to face her. And her face doesn't look pleased.
"Can you take me seriously for two seconds? When was the last time we went on a date? Or even had a fucking meal together? Or fucked? Yeah, tell me when the last time we had sex was Alex."
I stall, looking everywhere but Piper's eyes, mostly at her groin area like somehow her pussy will magically gain the ability of speech and let me know I pleasured it recently. "It was…it was just yesterday, or the other day. Or…let's see, today is..," This can't be right. I just made love to her…it's so vivid in my mind…just, just last night. No I worked last night and fell asleep as the sun came up, it must have been the night before, or the night before that maybe…if my brain wasn't mush from staring at shipping spreadsheets…
Piper huffed then looked up at the ceiling, willing the moisture in her eyes to fucking dry up and my heart clenched in my chest.
"Baby, come here…" I stand from my desk, pushing my laptop away. "Let's fix this problem right now." I make sure to add some extra rasp to my voice just the way she likes it, and crawl on the bed towards where she's kneeling.
"NO. No, fuck Alex, it's not going to be like that!" She instantly backs away from me and off the bed to stand near the dresser, and god, fuck, I want to go after her and crush her to me and squeeze all her anger out so she can go back to being my gorgeous, happy, let's-me-finger-her-anywhere girlfriend again.
"I just wait around! I just fucking wait around for you to be able to do something with me, ANYTHING, and you never stop working. I can't just be this fucking…this fucking trophy girlfriend who's available whenever you want and goes away when you don't have time. I've never felt so useless in my life!"
I step off the bed and towards her. "Piper, it's not at all like that! Buddy, we're a team. We're in this together."
Piper laughs in a weird way. "Oh please. It's the Alex show and I used to be a costar and now I'm more of an extra. Or a prop, yeah…I'm a prop so that this set looks like real life."
"Christ Pipes, I'm doing this for us! So we can live like we want to! I know it's been a lot lately but you know I would so much rather be off at a café with you or shopping or fucking you than emailing and planning and work bullshit!"
Piper groans and turns to the dresser, resting her hands on it then her head on her hands. I take a couple steps toward her again and she lifts her head to warn me off.
"Look, I'm sorry ok. Let's go out tonight. I haven't taken you to L'Ambroisie yet…it's my favorite and it's so romantic baby. And then we'll come back here and I'll have you for dessert. A multiple course dessert." I smirk at her and cock an eyebrow and hope that still works.
Piper rolling her eyes tells me it may not. "That's great Alex, I'll get your attention, likely your divided attention, for one night. And then tomorrow it'll be back to the same shit – me in the background."
"Ugh, fuck Piper! I wish I could quit babe, I really do! You know what? I wish I could go down on you all day and get fucking paid for it. Just 24/7 pussy and hundreds of thousands in the bank and…"
Piper leaves the dresser and walks toward the closet. "Well if you're just gonna make a big joke about it."
"It's not a joke. That's my ideal job. But it's not real life. I have to keep working for them so we can afford things Piper."
"I don't want THINGS! I wanted YOU!"
Fuck. Did she just use past tense? I've gotta turn this around. I've been treating this like a regular fight and clearly it's not. Nut up Vause. "Ok baby, ok. I'm sorry. You're right; I completely let my work take over. Just calm down and let's work this out."
"No, I've been trying to work it out for the past three months and you haven't given me the time of day. Now it's your turn."
She reaches in the closet and grabs the handle of a suitcase, already packed apparently, and I feel my entire face flush and my heart race and oh god, she can't leave me. What the fuck have I done?
"Buddy, what are you doing? Where are you going?" She starts walking toward the door and pure panic washes over me. "Pipe, I just didn't realize but if you let me make it up…"
"I'm going to Barcelona for the weekend. My friend Anna from Smith is vacationing there, and I can't spend another day wandering around Paris by myself or talking to myself or sleeping by myself."
"You're gonna sleep with her?" I regret it the second it leaves my mouth. Fuck Vause, you're a dumbfuck. Piper looks at me, exhausted or disappointed or a combination of both maybe.
"Like fuck her? No Alex, I'm not. She's married. To a man. And she's here with her mom. But thanks for not trusting me – I'd love to know what I did to deserve losing that. Or did I ever have it?"
I step towards her before she can reach the handle and put my hand over hers on the suitcase. "Baby…" I've probably never sounded so desperate in my life. "I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I do trust you. And I love you. More than anything. Please just…don't do this. Let's fix this. I'll fix this."
Piper sighs heavily and I think maybe I've weakened her resolve just a smidge. Plus she's staring at my chest, so perhaps she'll at least stay for the tits.
"I'm not breaking up with you…yet. But things have to change Alex. Let's just take a few days to think ok?" NO NOT FUCKING OK. I don't want you to think. I don't want you to go gallivanting in Spain with Annie Fuckface. You belong with me every second of every day, even when you're pissing me off or bothering me when I'm slammed with work, I still want you here. I say none of this and weakly nod because I'm weak.
"Ok Bud, if that's what you want. I'll miss you like hell. Please keep your phone with you."
Piper smiles but it's very small. I thank whatever gods there are when she rests her forehead to mine; I breathe in every ounce of Piper goodness I can cause it needs to last all weekend and maybe forever. Oh my god, what if she never comes back? What if she just doesn't want to deal with the heaviness of a breakup so this is how she's doing it? I feel my eyes instantly pool and I hiccup and fuck fuck fuck fuck.
"Sweetie," she soothes cause she must have noticed my stupid tears. "Alex look at me." Her soft hands clasp at my neck and she uses her thumbs to tilt my jaw up. She looks like an angel in this fancy hotel lighting and also cause she is one. I want to handcuff her to me. "I'm coming back babe. I just need to cool off ok? We'll work it out." Her reassurance let's me take my first breath in what feels like eternity but I'm in no way relaxed. And then she kisses me, first just a soft press of her lips on mine, but then she tilts her head and sneaks her tongue in and GOD CAN SOMEONE JUST PUT BARS ON THE DOOR SO SHE CAN'T LEAVE? Damn it, now she's backing away and instead of paying attention to the feel of her tongue or how good her hips felt pressed against mine I wasted my time screaming in my own head.
"I love you Alex Vause. More than anything." She pecks my cheek and then she's out the door and if you google dumbfounded a picture of me in this moment shows up. I find it very cute when she echoes back phrases I've said to her and also when she kisses me and also she's so fucking hot it hurts. I fight every urge to run down the hall after her but I have no new things to say except 'please stay' over and over and Piper deserves a grander gesture. So I run back inside to my laptop and I book a ticket to Barcelona for later tonight.
I land in Barcelona to find Piper's flight has to make an emergency landing in Saint Etienne because of fuel tank problems. My heart drops to my stomach and I'm on the verge of vomiting until the stupid Spaniard repeats himself in the correct tenses, that it landed safely, was grounded for 4 hours, and is now on it's way. It sort of turns out perfectly because I now get to surprise her at the gate instead of trying to figure out where the fuck in Barcelona she is without calling her.
I buy roses and chocolates in the airport cause those are 'I'm sorry' gifts right? I don't have a clue, I just want to tell her I'll do anything for her and then make her cum around my fingers two hundred times.
When the same stupid Spaniard announces over the intercom that Flight 447 from Paris has arrived, my heart free falls to my stomach again like it's some kind of bungee jumper. Up when Piper kissed me and said we weren't breaking up, down when my mind flashed to images of her in a plane crash, up when I bought the idiot roses and chocolates and thought about sex, and back down now that I actually have to face her and surprise her and why didn't I consider that maybe she didn't want me to follow her? If she was trying to end things with me and then I show up here and…fuck there she is, more beautiful than ever.
She sees me and clearly my surprise is very surprising. Her eyes light up and she can't hide her smile, but by the time she walks up to me she's controlled her glee and has a side smirk and her brow is a bit furrowed. "And just how the fuck did you manage this Vause?"
"Pure dumb luck." I hold out my 'I'm sorry' bounty to her, which she also smirks at.
"Is it Valentine's Day in Spain?" I look down at my roses and realize the 'I'm sorry' flower is probably tulips or happy daisies or some random shit like lily of the valley.
"Oh right," I fling them on to one of the chairs at the gate. "Stupid me." Piper frowns and retrieves the roses. She brings them to her nose and inhales. "I wanted an 'I'm sorry' flower, so…really a wild guess."
Piper chuckles softly. "To me, roses are an 'I love you' flower."
"Well that's certainly true." I hold her gaze.
"You came to Spain to tell me you love me through floral gestures?"
I duck my chin and slide my glasses to the top of my head and I can feel my cheeks warm. How can this girl still make me blush after almost five years? "I have a lot of things to say but the airport has a pretty limited flower selection. Should we go find a real florist, or a garden?"
Piper steps toward me and plays with my shirt collar. "You being here says quite a bit. I'm shocked to say the least."
I lay my head to the side to trap her hand. "You left baby. You, you had a suitcase, even though you said you weren't ending it, I was worried you'd never…" Don't fucking cry in the middle of el aeropuerto Vause. "I can't lose you Pipes."
Piper returns the roses to their seat and gently takes the chocolates from me, smiles, and sets them down too. Then she wraps her arms around my neck and covers her body with mine and returns her forehead to its rightful place against my forehead.
After a few seconds she whispers, "put your arms around me weirdo." I realize I've stood frozen in sweet relief and then acquiesce. "Thank you, hugs go well with roses and chocolates."
I choke out a quiet sob and Piper squeezes tighter, kissing the side of my face and neck and ear. "You won't lose me babe. I wasn't leaving you. But I was going crazy and I'm not a great communicator and a dramatic exit was my first and only idea on how to get through to you."
I kiss her exposed collarbone softly and squeeze her tighter. "It worked. Very well."
She pulls back to look in my eyes. "We can work this out, right? We can find a balance?"
"Yes baby, absolutely. I already told Fahri to fuck off this weekend. And that from now on I need two days a week with no work. Just for us. And I'll cut back on the late hours."
Piper runs her hands up and down my back and I relax more than I have in weeks, months maybe. "Thank you," she whispers. "That's all I want. More time with you. I miss you."
"I miss you too buddy."
I kiss her on the neck and then the cheek and then the lips repeatedly, then one long slow open-mouthed one, like I'm trying to inhale all the Piper I can.
"Oh, and we had sex two weeks ago. I was foolishly working a 14-hour day, cause I'm a fool, and you had gone shopping and bought emerald green lingerie from Aubade and were giving me a fashion show that I wasn't giving the bug-eyed, drool-pooling attention it deserved…did I mention I'm a fool? So you came over to me at my desk, closed my laptop and sat down spread eagle and told me to 'get back to work.'"
Piper is smiling and flexing her hands on my hips like she does when she's turned on but there are people around. "And you did boo."
I smirk and wrap my arms around her neck. "Fuck yeah I did. Only it wasn't work, it was pleassssure."
She winks at me but there's still hesitance behind her smile. "Two weeks Alex. You didn't notice we haven't had sex for fourteen days! And you didn't even let me reciprocate that night so it's been even longer since you've had an orgasm. When have we ever gone that long unless you were traveling? And even then, we phone or cyber! Sex is our thing Alex, it's how we connect, it's always…"
"Fucking amazing," I interject. "It's the best sex I've ever had." I pull her tighter and take a deep breath and wonder what the fuck is wrong with my pussy that it didn't wake my mind the fuck up and tell me to go have my way with my hot girlfriend. "I know baby, I don't know what to say. I just let work take me over. It won't happen again. OK? More romance, more dinners, more trips…way more sex. Seriously, sex morning, noon, and night. As often as we eat, we eat."
Piper smiles and blushes slightly and fuck she's just the cutest girl in the world. "Ok." She says it faux begrudgingly so I tickle her sides and she squeals. I know it's impractical and pathetic and pussy-whipped but I never want her out of my sight again.
"Can we go to your hotel now buddy?" I pick up our bags and growl at her. "I'm hungry."
Piper makes a funny face. "Actually I planned to just stay with Anna cause she rented a villa but I miscalculated the time difference and she doesn't get here until tomorrow morning, so I was gonna…"
I cut her off with a long kiss. "I know a great place."
"Fuck, baby…fuck baby! Fuuuuuck baaaaabies…"
I lift my head up from between her legs. "Fuck babies? Piper Chapman, is this your way of telling me you don't want kids?"
Now she lifts her head up, from the pillow, glaring daggers. "Are you really stopping right now? To chat about offspring? I was so clooooose."
Whiny sex-crazed Piper is one my favorites so I smile. I see out the bay windows that the sun is rising and make a note-to-self to order coffee from room service after she comes cause I feel fatigue rolling in, but I know I won't be done with her for another few hours. "I've given you what, six, seven orgasms now? We can't just talk? Get to know each other?"
She shakes her head. "Nah, I'm really just in this for the sex."
"Fair enough. Back to work now." I wink at her and dive back in.
"I thought it wasn't work it was plea-ughhhh god yes." Mashing her clit between my lips and then gently sucking it always puts a halt to one of her smartass comments. I trail my tongue down to her opening, teasing slowly around the ring cause I know it will get a rise out of her. And it does. She instantly grabs at my hair, pushing my face harder into herself and fuck if I don't get wetter than I already was.
"Baby please, inside. I need you." And I give her what she wants. I'll give her anything she wants. I push my tongue into her tight hole and my nose hits her clit and my hands grip around her soft thighs, keeping them spread wide for me. And I memorize this. I remind myself how quickly I could lose it. I remind myself all the money in the world wouldn't matter if she wasn't in my bed at night. And god, I remind myself to love her like this everyday because I'm the only one that gets to and it's fucking heaven on earth. Alex Vause, if you get that close to losing Piper Chapman again you don't deserve her.