"Snips"

Rated T

Disclaimer: I don't anything associated with My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. I didn't exactly know what to write, so I did a little parody of Cheech and Chong's "Dave" sketch and gave it my own little twist, My Little Pony style! Just so everyone knows again, I don't own anything "My Little Pony" related or "Cheech and Chong" related.


It was nighttime in Ponyville as Snails was sleeping in his room. All tuckered out after a long day of making jokes around their school chums. Of course, some of them weren't nice, but it's what he and his friend Snips did in their life. After all, boys were boys.

It was pretty much past their bedtime, but mysteriously, Snips wen't missing. Particularly, Snips found out that there were some free cake that Pinkie Pie was making for her party. She didn't want anyone to get their hands on it until tomorrow. So what better way to get a piece of that cake by stealing it. He was like a ninja sneaking in the middle of the night.

Without Pinkie Pie looking, Snips grabbed the cake and high-tailed it out of there. When Pinkie Pie looked back, she noticed that somebody was stealing her cake. Who could've broken inside Pinkie Pie's barn?

Snips was running for his life so that not one single pony could catch him in the act.

But his cover was blown when a couple of cop ponies saw Snips from far away. Luckily, Snips lost the cops, but the cops knew his trail and where he was going.

He quickly managed to get inside his house that he and Snails owned. He quickly went upstairs to his bedroom where Snails was sleeping. With a deep breath, he started to knock silently on the door. The knock awoke Snails from his sleep.

"Who is it?" Snails spoke loudly.

"It's me, Snails." Snips whispered back, "Open up, man, I got the cake..."

There was no answer coming from Snails. The problem was, Snips didn't whisper loud enough. So he decided to knock a little more quieter.

"Who is it?" Snails replied.

"It's me, Snips!" Snips whispered a bit louder, "Man, open up, I got the cake!"

"Who?" Snails said in a loud tone.

"It's Snails, man!" Snips whispered again, only for his voice to raise little, "Open up, I think the cop ponies around the street saw me comin' here with cake in my hands!"

And yet, still no responsive answer coming from his friend. Snips was growing a bit agitated, so he decided to knock the door just a little bit louder now.

"Who is it?" Snails said out loud.

"It's Snips, man, will you open up?" Snips said, getting his voice a bit louder by the second. "I got the cake with me!"

"Who?" Snails shouted.

"Snips!"

"Snips?" Snails said in confusion.

"Yeah, it's Snips!" Snips exclaimed again, "C'mon, man, open up, I think the cop ponies-"

"Snips is not here!" Snails said out loud, cutting Snips off.

Snips hit his forehead in frustration. Somehow, Snails must've been one hell of a heavy sleeper and not understand who Snips was in a slumber like this. Irritated, Snips spoke loudly through the door.

"No man, I'm Snips! C'Mon, man!"

Still no answer from his dimwit of a friend, Snips started banging on the door a bit loudly, although not too loud.

"Who is it?" Snails loudly spoke.

"It's Snips, man, will you open up? I got the cake with me-"

"WHO?" Snails shouted, cutting off his friend again.

"Snips, man! Open up!"

"SNIPS?"

"Ya, Snips!" Snips shouted happily.

"Snips is not here!" Snails informed him.

"No, man, I'm Snips!" Snips angrily cried out, "Please, get off the bed and open up the door, will you? I got the cake with me and I think the cops saw me..."

Yet, there was still no answer from his braindead friend. Snips was now getting pissed off. So he started to knock on the door threateningly.

"WHO IS IT?" Snails shouted.

"Oh, what the hell is it.." Snips muttered to himself before he pounded on the bedroom door, "C'mon, open up the door, it's Snips!"

"WHO?"

"Snips, S-N-I-P-S, will you open the goshdarn door?" Snips screamed, while at the same time losing his patience.

"SNIPS?"

"Yeah, it's Snips!" Snips yelled slowly, hoping that Snails would understand.

"SNIPS?" Snails shouted when finally came into realization.

"Right, it's Snips, now will you get off your bed and open up the door?" Snips laughed.

He sent his ear through the door, hoping that his friend would do what Snips told him, but all he got was this...

...

...

"Snips is not here!"

That four little words forced Snips to scream in rage. His stupid friend wouldn't recognize him even if he got hung in a suicidal way!

"Ohhhhh! I give up!" Snips cried in defeat.

However, what he didn't know was that Pinkie Pie took the ladder that was lying next to Snips and Snails house, and secretly climbed up the ladder. Like a ninja, she caught Snips red-handed with the cake he stole!

"There you are! Gimme back my cake, you turd!" Pinkie Pie said in anger.

Snips was freaked out when she caught him.

"No way! Finders keepers, losers weepers, bitch!" Snips said to Pinkie before he ran off with the cake in hand. Since when did someone the age of the Cutie Mark Crusaders ever cuss?

"Oh, I'm about to make you weep, you stupid poop bucket!" Pinkie screamed back, right before she and Snips left together in a cat and mouse chase.

At the same time, Snails finally got out of his bed and approached the door.

When he opened it however, he found out that Snips wasn't there with the cake.

"Snips? Snips, you around here?" Snails said while looking at both ways, "Man, when is he gonna get back with the cake? I'm starvin' here!"

Realizing that Snips was no longer around, Snails decided to shut the door behind him and go to sleep.

Snips was never the same again. Pinkie beat the living shit out of him despite being a school-age pony, and got arrested for burglary despite being a minor. Princess Celestia then sentenced him to 4 years of probation and was forced to make cakes forever without any pay. And just like life, it sucked.


Hah, sucks to be Snips. Oh well, feedback is appreciated! ^_^