Okay. So I can't even explain what happened, but basically this Part II took on a whole world of its own. I originally wasn't even sure if I'd have three thousand words, and suddenly it grew to 7500. It came out a lot more angsty than I had planned, and it turned so steamy I had to change the rating to M.
Did you see that? THE RATING IS NOW M. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Seriously, I think this is probably the steamiest thing I've posted on fanfiction. OOPS. Others that may rival it would be my other Troigan : In My Veins, and possibly one of the Spoby sex scenes filmings, but its all about your perception! So apologies if anyone doesn't want to read that kind of stuff, but I've had a lot of requests for it and my feels picked today to send 'em on! But these are real people and they deserve respect so I did try to keep it as tasteful as possible as always.
Enjoy my lovelies. This is the conclusion of this series! I'll have another prompt up again soon I hope! You can always check my tumblr for ones that didn't make the FF cut too ;)
I forgot to mention last chapter, but the title is from the song of the same name by Fransisca Hall that was featured during the dream sequence in 3x17.
As always, never, ever want to forget to disclaim that these are NOT the true feelings of Troian and Keegan. This is fiction through and through. I took a lot of creative liberties throughout as well, so don't take anything I write as law. I often get inspired by tidbits from tweets or comments in interviews, but sometimes I literally just pull from my head and let my imagination take the reins.
It had been a week since Troian had spent the night at Keegan's. The next morning, they had gone back to their usual act—pretending they were just really close friends and that what they were doing was perfectly normal.
But they both were starting to know better. Something had shifted that night they spent together and it didn't look like it would be shifting back.
Since then, they had begun touching more, flirting more, and generally acting like two people in love without enjoying the full spectrum of physical elements in a romantic relationship.
It wasn't even obvious to those around them. Frankly, their cast and crew mates knew full well how long the pair had been dancing around their true feelings. They all would rejoice the day that the two actors finally announced their union. But as to whether things seemed different these days, they couldn't spot anything that they wouldn't have done before.
The PLL family was a very strong and supportive one indeed, which was why the thought of leaving it would be devastating to anyone.
Today, Keegan was the one who had to face those emotions.
He exited Marlene King's office, feeling almost drunk after what had just been revealed to him. He had been pulled in there two days after the table read, two days after finding out he and Troian would be having an extremely steamy make-out session onscreen, only to find out that it would be his last scene with her ever. It would be his last scene on the show. Marlene informed him that they were killing off Toby in a few episodes time, but they wouldn't need him for that one.
She hinted that it wouldn't be the last they saw of him truly, but coming back for a flashback or to showcase an explanatory scene from the past wasn't like being a part of the cast. It made a lot more sense now why he had never become a regular. Despite his frequent face throughout the show's run, and his character's importance to the original storyline, Keegan had never been promoted to a season regular. In the books, Toby had been killed off, so he always had his suspicions, but now he knew them to be true.
Keegan had been grateful for getting such an amazing opportunity for so long, but coming back for snippets would probably hurt more than anything. He'd rather cut it out cold turkey. But he really and truly loved his PLL family and couldn't believe that this was the end of the road for him.
Naturally, it was Troian he ran into first. He didn't even notice her right away, which was not the norm for him since usually she was the first thing he saw when he walked in a room, and she picked up on his expression right away.
"What's wrong?" she asked, halting him in his tracks and pulling him into a vacant room.
He bit his lip. He was sworn to secrecy. It was by contract that he not reveal, even to cast members, what was upcoming on the show. He hated to lie or keep anything from her, especially when it affected her too, but he didn't have a choice.
"I… I can't say." he explained, his breath almost shaky to his embarrassment.
Troian took his hands in hers, looking up at him with her big doe eyes. Her eyelashes were so long, framing her gorgeous eyes beautifully. He could get lost taking in all of the beauty her face held. What was he going to do when he couldn't look forward to seeing her face on set every morning?
He was going to miss everyone so much, but it was obvious that Troian would be the hardest to say goodbye to. She had helped him so much as an actor, helped him grow and stretch and push himself to be better. She had changed him so much as a person, aided him in growing into the man he always hoped he could be. Where would he be without her? How could he ever say goodbye to someone who had touched his life in such a way? He knew they'd still be friends, but she would be so busy with the show and her other projects, and who knows where his next gig would be filmed. It wouldn't be the same.
"Keegan…" Troian said worriedly now, and Keegan was mortified to find tears had escaped his eyes.
He wiped at them impatiently, feeling his face redden. "It's nothing. We should get to our scene."
She nodded. "I was coming to find you… but Keegs, if you need a few minutes—"
"I'll be fine." he cut in.
Before she could protest further, he wrapped an arm around her waist and began leading her in direction to set.
She sighed. She figured now, if he hadn't even budged on telling her, it was PLL-related. She knew the signs now. Something big was coming up in Toby's storyline and Keegan wasn't happy about it. And as much as she was desperate to know what it was, she knew he had to keep quiet about it and that it was nothing about not trusting her.
But still, she hoped he knew that no matter what the future held, everything would work out and she'd be by his side through it all.
Once they arrived on set, the pair separated to be tended to by their individual teams while the director, Michael Grossman, got everything else set up to his liking.
Troian could see that Keegan was still lost in thought. She allowed her group to muss up her loose ponytail even further and balm her lips another time. She'd need it for the amount of kissing she and Keegan were about to indulge in onscreen.
Troian was oblivious that once her eyes averted from him, his glued to her frame. She had become involved in conversation with one of the ladies tending to her and was laughing at whatever she had said. Lord, was she beautiful. Keegan was grateful that he didn't have to wait too much longer before he could kiss her.
This would be their last one. Troian may not know it yet, but Keegan sure as hell did and he wasn't going down without a fight. Their chemistry is what inspired the couple to be formed two seasons previous. If there was anything that could save them now, it would be this scene with the pair of them.
Even if it didn't change a thing, Keegan didn't care. He was going to put his damn all into this scene because for all he knew he may never get a chance to kiss and touch Troian in such a way again. He wasn't giving that up lightly. He wanted to enjoy every last second, savour every moan and whimper she let slip, and feel her melt under his control. He knew they were both 'acting' but he also knew throughout their scenes she had unintentionally voiced her approval for his actions. He had grown to understand her weak spots and he planned on hitting every single one of them tonight.
Once his shirt was discarded and the final make-up touches were made, his styling crew finally gave him the all clear and he and Troian stood at the end of the bed to make it look like the obvious would be coming. It was a dream sequence for Troian's character, where she would be passionately making out with her boyfriend before he tried to choke her to death. She had only just found out about his betrayal so she was still reeling, but she also was still very much in love with him. Feelings like that don't just go away.
Keegan had to hide a smirk when he saw his co-star's eyes unashamedly roam down his exposed abdomen. As per usual, he had another shirtless scene to add to his resume, but if it was going to get an appreciative examination like the one he was experiencing now, he wasn't about to complain.
Michael came over. "All right guys. You've read the script. You've read the notes. Bring all that you have to it and make us feel like fire can't even touch you it's already too hot."
Both actors smirked and nodded.
They were fixed into their positions for the camera angle and, once the direction came, Keegan didn't hesitate to immediately pull Troian into him, plunging his mouth down onto hers.
She was caught off guard by his spontaneous passion, but quickly rivaled his fiery kiss with one of her own, a hand anchoring his face forcefully to hers. His hands, meanwhile, were gliding sensually down her shoulders. He brushed one thumb along her neck, tickling her hairline, and Troian visibly shivered at the light touch.
It just felt so much more intimate than she was used to. She quickly tried to even the playing field, knotting her fingers in his hair while the other hand dug its nails into his back, dragging downwards. On reflex, his hips bucked forwards into hers and she tried not to grin.
Keegan wasn't giving in to her that easily. This scene was all about Spencer, so he knew her facial expressions and reactions would be the main focus. He ducked his head into her neck, splaying kisses across the exposed collarbone before licking at the thin skin, his teeth tugging playfully.
She nearly lost her balance at the pleasurable feel but held on to him tighter, pressing long, hard kisses to his shoulder in approval as he continued marking her as his. She was already almost breathless.
He didn't care that he was leaving a bruise they would surely cover up for weeks to come. He just knew that if this was the last damn time he was going to get a chance to make her succumb to him, he was damn well going to remind her of his affect for the weeks ahead when he'd be gone.
He needn't have worried though. Troian wouldn't be forgetting any time soon. She yanked him away from his attack and collided their mouths aggressively, her tongue wasting no time in slipping between his lips for a better fight.
Keegan couldn't control the moan that slipped out, his hands scrambling to rid her of her tank top.
They were cut off after that, both pulling away panting hard. The whole crew was sort of staring at them, looking pretty impressed with their performance.
"That was… wow. You guys really did go all in. Let's run it again. Don't be afraid to push the envelope more." the director told them encouragingly, not feeling the need to say more than that. The two clearly understood what they were looking for without specific instructions from him.
This time, Troian did push things further. She pulled his hips to hers when her hand made its way down his back, letting her pelvis rub sensually against his as they groped one another in lust. She wasn't one to be one-upped, especially not in this regard. She was taking back control. Keegan couldn't stop himself from whimpering into her mouth.
He didn't take any prisoners either. His hands ran smoothly under her shirt, stroking her toned waist and even being so bold as to venture lower to her backside and squeeze lightly. She was rather surprised at that one, but simply grinded against him harder. Two could play at that game. She could feel his body reacting to her motions. If it wasn't for her being just as turned on, she probably would have had to hide a smile of pride.
A few more rounds and Keegan was starting to worry he wouldn't be able to hide his… misdemeanour as easily. Troian wasn't holding back and neither was he. It was great chemistry for the scene, but the fact of the matter was that there were a dozen others standing around watching them. And there was a reason these types of scenarios were usually kept private in real life…
Thankfully, they were granted a break, Michael claiming they had the shots now.
Keegan used the time-out to catch his breath, his eyes unable to stay off Troian for long. What the hell was that? Now that they were out of the moment, he realized how insane that had been. He had certainly felt her passion before, but never to that extent. She felt as all in as he had been, but she wasn't aware of the looming news about the fate of their onscreen couple. She had no clue that this would be his last present day scene with her on Pretty Little Liars.
Just the reminder clenched his heart. He could see her devastated face in his mind's eye and it broke his heart.
But if she had no clue, was it just her professionalism that drove her to match his fire or was it something more?
Keegan was barely aware of his style crew shoving him into a costume change. He pushed his fists out of the sleeves of the hoodie he was suddenly donned in and held out his hands for the black leather gloves.
This was the scene he had been dreading all day. He had to 'choke' Troian because this wasn't a real sexy scene—it was a dream that morphed into a nightmare. And he was the big bad that ruined the sensual moment.
Michael coached him on how to do it without actually hurting her. Troian would make noises and bulge her eyes as if she was lacking oxygen while he was doing it, but they had worked out a sign for if she was really choking in case. It was pretty unlikely she would get to that state, but it eased Keegan's conscience.
He felt a little better about it, knowing that Troian was more professional than anyone. She wouldn't hold this scene against him, or feel any kind of negative feelings towards him after it was over for doing his job.
But he could definitely empathize with her apologies the week before when she was the one hitting him. He wasn't going to practice choking her for real, but at least she'd have an understanding of how hard this would be for him.
"Is this okay? How many times do you want to practice this?" he asked her, rubbing his fingers soothingly over the spot he had been squeezing.
"Until it hurts." Troian teased, throwing back his line from the week before.
Like she had, he rolled his eyes, chuckling at her antics. She always knew how to lighten a mood. Still, he was a natural worrier, so he was anxious that he might accidentally hurt her when they started doing it for the camera.
"All right. Action!"
Keegan tried not to wince and attempted to push away his nerves to deliver what they wanted for the scene. He couldn't look hesitant about it or it wouldn't be believable.
Troian had her neck arched and he slid his hands sensually up the curve before tightening, albeit minimally, around where her windpipe began.
Her hands shot out to grab his wrists, her air coming in audibly to signal that something was wrong, and her eyes were filled with pain, disappointment and fear as she stared directly back at him. There was a silent begging in her eyes.
His face was hidden from the cameras, but she could see it all, and she could see how hard this was on him. He looked like he had been punched in the stomach.
"Let's try it again!"
And so they did. Again and again and again. It didn't get easier the second time, or the third, or the eighth. Keegan knew his performance was beginning to lack. He couldn't stand there and act like a powerful abuser to Troian. He just couldn't. It wouldn't be an easy task for anyone with a heart, but most would persevere for the sake of the art. But he couldn't. Not with her. Not when all he wanted to do with his life was cherish and protect her.
He knew he was in trouble when they were granted a break and Michael made a beeline for him. Troian's styling team had dragged her away, but she still tried to eavesdrop.
"I can't do it." She heard Keegan say, and she could feel the heavy regret in his tone. He felt terrible that he couldn't perform to his best in this scene, but she knew his earlier discovery probably wasn't helping things.
Truth be told, it broke Keegan's heart that this would be the last scene he filmed with Troian. His last memory of being on set with her would be him choking her. It just didn't seem right. Everything seemed so screwed up. He had been so happy about the change in his every day routine for his character that he hadn't thought far enough ahead. Once they deemed Toby as evil, of course they would kill him off.
Michael was pretty understanding about it though. He, like everyone else, knew full well how close the pair of friends were. He wouldn't wish playing the devil on someone who cared about the other person that much.
"We'll get a double to take your place. It's not as though we see any defining features."
Keegan nodded and began slipping off the hoodie and gloves. "I'm sorry." he said sincerely, hating that he couldn't just suck it up and take one for the team. But after enduring Troian's slaps last week and now this… he couldn't take much more of the abusing side of things. His heart was in too much agony over it.
"Don't be. I don't think Marlene dropping that news on you today helped anything." he said quietly.
Keegan was surprised he knew, but it figured that the directors and writers would know ahead of the cast and crew.
He smiled, understanding his expression. "She thought I should know too in order to get the scene right. And I'm glad for the first half… but for this bit, I think it was pretty cruel to have that as a last memory."
The older man clapped him on the shoulder. "You've done great work. You can go home and be proud of yourself. And you know how this show is… things may change. Those writers like to pretend they've got it all figured out, but I think they've spun such a web for themselves that they've got caught up in it too and lost their way a little. Give it some time."
He had a point. After all, he had seen the writers say one thing and then do the complete opposite. And sure, maybe it was just lying and scheming to keep the mystery alive and the secrets hidden, but sometimes he swore it wasn't some creative mind trick—they really were just as lost as the rest of them.
But still, this was one move that Keegan was pretty sure would be followed through.
With that depressing thought, he cast a final glance back at Troian, who was watching him leave confusedly, before he sped up his pace to exit set faster. He would never be able to leave if he let her get under his skin again.
He didn't storm away from set by any means, but his swiftness alerted Troian that something was wrong. She wished she could chase after him but a double stepped in to take Keegan's place and her professionalism pushed away the worrying thoughts and focused her on the task at hand.
She had hoped to talk to him after they wrapped filming, but it looked like that was just going to have to wait.
Keegan made his way home, grateful for the dark disguise of the night as he drove. He really didn't fancy anyone witnessing his emotional breakdown on the freeway.
He held back the best he could, but he was pretty overwhelmed so a few sobs had slipped out during his drive. He'd have to go to set one last time to properly clear out his dressing room, but right now, he just needed to get home. All he could think about was how much he was losing.
He was normally a positive person, so if this was a regular circumstance, he would be thinking about how many new opportunities he could have now that he didn't have a contract or obligation to be available in LA for filming at any time. He could even try living somewhere new if he wanted. Those thoughts used to appeal to him, but right now, all he could think about was his cast family. He would miss goofing off with Ian and Tyler and Ashley, making fun of Lucy, hanging out with Shay, and he couldn't even get started on Troian. He'd miss how raspy her voice was when she first arrived in the morning; he'd miss watching her blow his mind again and again with her live performances; he'd miss the way her face lit up whenever he'd bring her in a coffee. The list was really endless.
And it wasn't just that side of things. He also felt a pull to mourn his character. Despite the change, Toby really had grown and expanded so much over the past couple years. He grew from this misunderstood, insecure, lost puppy into this confident, loving, kind young man. He had been abused and tortured but he found himself moving on from that, finding love, realizing that he really was worth something special. He and Spencer had found each other when they needed each other most. Keegan hated to think that what they had was only a chapter in their lives when he really felt their relationship had reached new heights and was deeper than any other high school relationship he had ever seen on any other teen show. They had such a maturity to their love, to the way they were with each other. You could only assume they were going to make the long haul. They had already overcome so many other obstacles.
But it was all being swept away. Keegan couldn't really say anything negative towards the writers, but it still upset him that all that they built up had to come crashing down just for the sake of a plot twist. He felt cheated. He felt like Toby had been cheated. He wasn't even given a chance to redeem himself. And he wouldn't be given the opportunity to explain himself to Spencer, so Spencer had been cheated too.
And maybe that's what Marlene had meant. Maybe he'd visit Spencer in a dream or something. Maybe he wouldn't even really die, but Keegan figured if they were telling him this now it was because, if Toby did live, they'd just cart him off into the next town like they usually did when they didn't know what else to do with him.
Arriving at his apartment, Keegan greeted his black cat before heading straight to the fridge for a cold one.
The sound released when the cap was twisted off was the most satisfied he felt since he left set. Minin leapt from the counter to lie around his neck and Keegan walked the pair of them over to the couch.
He couldn't even watch TV like he had done in the past in an attempt to distract himself from his problems. He just needed to stew in them, figure out where to go from there.
He tipped back his beer, swallowing more of the fermented liquid, stroking Minin's tail and scratching under his chin. His cat was very pleased with the attention, having missed him all day.
Once he polished off his first bottle, he figured he should start doing something besides wallow in self-pity. He located his laptop and pulled up a document he had started long ago. It had all of his aspirations for the future—places he wanted to travel, things he wanted to experience, activities he wanted to try. Maybe he wouldn't score a new acting job right away, but he had enough money to get him by. Maybe he'd travel for a few months. Maybe he'd fall in love with a place and the people and move there. Maybe he'd find 'the one'.
He had to laugh at that last one. He had long since found the girl of his dreams. But it looked as though his dreams were the only place he would ever get to really have her.
When she had stayed over the week before and he woke up with her in his arms, he swore he was still dreaming. His lips were tingling from where they left off in his dream and he longed to kiss her stationary ones to prolong the magic. But he worried about her waking up and finding him crossing that friends line.
She had woken up shortly after and snuggled back into him like it was no big deal. Their legs were tangled together, her shirt had ridden up some, and he ran his fingers through her hair much like a boyfriend would. But they didn't kiss. They didn't have sex. They didn't touch too intimately. Yet still, something felt different when they parted ways that day. Something had changed.
Seeing her again on set, things felt different too. Would they stay that way if they weren't seeing each other as regularly? Would it still feel like he may have some tiny semblance of a chance once they were apart for weeks at a time?
Keegan wanted to throw his laptop in frustration. His mind was being cruel. After his heart had waited three years for this, his mind would remind him of the fact that right as he finally got close, it was all being torn away. It felt like he had lost for good this time. When Troian and Patrick had broken up, he was sure they would get back together. But when they didn't, he felt hopeful. He had started pushing things with Troian, testing the waters, and she had yet to decline his advances. They were nothing extreme, nothing that couldn't be passed off as friendly banter or sweet compliments, but still. He wanted her to understand that he wasn't just a friend; he could be more if she gave him a chance.
And now it felt like she was starting to see that. But without him there to remind her, would he lose his chance? When he couldn't kiss her onscreen the way he wished he could in their private time?
Keegan tried to push his pessimistic thoughts from his mind. It didn't matter if he could never have Troian the way he always wanted. The point was that Troian was one of his best friends. He would never let her go completely. She would always be in his life, in some way, and that's what was important.
Still, Keegan felt a bout of guilt when he read an email from his agent who was looking into live theatre in New York for him, asking for his approval, and Keegan texted back the 'yes please' even though it meant he would be 2800 miles from her. Keegan had wanted to get back to live theatre, especially after his conversations with Troian about how much she missed doing Shakespeare on the subway, and now seemed like as good a time as any to get back to it.
He had always adored New York. He had contemplated moving there once upon a time. Maybe now was his chance. He quickly opened up a tourism page, searching the listings for apartment rates.
A knock on his door pulled him from his research. He left his bottle on the table and headed over to answer.
She forced a small smile. "Can I come in?"
He gestured her inside and closed the door behind her. This was her second impromptu visit in a week. It was rather out of character, but he wasn't complaining.
"I wanted to check on you. You seemed really upset earlier." she explained as they headed into his living room.
He wasn't really sure what to say, mulling over his answer as they sat down on the couch.
She settled next to him and seemed to spot the page open on his laptop. "Are you planning a trip to The Big Apple? …Are those apartment listings…?" she asked, looking surprised, but Keegan quickly shut his laptop and pushed it away.
"It's nothing. Just doing some research." he replied, taking his empty beer bottle to the kitchen for recycling.
Troian followed him, knowing something was up now. Keegan was not someone to avoid direct questions. He had always been very open and honest with her and the fact that he was acting different only confirmed her fears from earlier. Something big had changed and she had the sneaking suspicion that Marlene King was behind his morphed behavior.
"Keegan, what is going on? Why won't you talk to me?"
He closed his eyes, his back to her, and sighed. "It's not you, Troi. Trust me, I wish I could talk to you."
She came over and touched his arm. "So talk to me. You know that everything we talk about stays between us, right?"
Her sweet, genuine concern and her gentle touch somehow only made things worse. He could feel the emotions starting to catch up with him.
"I know." he murmured. "But what I need to talk about… I can't tell anyone. Not even you."
Troian understood, but she wasn't giving up. "I don't care what Marlene says. I can keep a secret. Please, you can't keep this bottled. I won't tell a soul. Just talk to me. I'm worried about you, Keegs."
He turned to face her and saw she too had tears in her eyes now. He reached out to stroke her cheek, a lump forming in his throat at the way she leaned into his touch.
There were no words to explain how much she meant to him.
"There's a possibility of me moving to New York. I don't know for how long, or if I'll even be able to get into any kind of theatre down there, but my agent is currently looking into it."
Troian's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "That's great, Keegan. I know how much you've been wanting to get back to doing live work again. And I hate to play devil's advocate, but what about the show?"
The innocent questioning in her eyes didn't help him control his emotions any easier. He didn't want to lay the news on her that he was still struggling to come to terms with himself.
"I… I don't have to worry about that commitment anymore."
Troian looked like he had slapped her. "What is that supposed to mean?"
He didn't reply, knowing he had already overstepped his place. If anyone from Warner Bros or ABC Family or any of the high up people found out he had let slip a major show plot, even to a cast mate, he'd have a law suit on his hands.
"Keegan, tell me. Please."
He couldn't say no to her, but he also couldn't look at her as he spoke. He cast his eyes out of the window over the sink, watching the cars drive in their rows. "I'm not going to be working on Pretty Little Liars anymore, so I have a lot of free time on my hands. Today was my last real day."
Her voice was shaking and he knew her tears had started. His started to fall, but he kept his eyes glued outside.
"Toby's going to be killed off. They don't need me anymore. My days with PLL are over. Today's episode is his last appearance, although Marlene hinted it might not be the last they ever see of him. But she wanted me to know now so I could put in a better performance during today's filming."
He chanced a glance at Troian, her silence deafening, but she was shaking her head furiously. It broke his heart to see the amount of tears pouring down her face.
"No. NO! This isn't right. They can't do this to you. They can't do this to… us… to what we made. We did not build up Spoby to be this incredible thing for it to end like this!"
He reached out to console her, but she swatted his hand away.
"No! Don't try to make this okay! This is not fair!"
She started crying and his heart couldn't take it. He pulled her into his arms, where she collapsed into his chest and weakly beat her fists against him.
"What am I supposed to do without you? I need you." she whispered tearfully into his neck.
He tightened his hold around her, letting his own tears make their way down his face.
"I need you too."
They stood in silence for a while, simply holding each other in his kitchen, not sure where they were supposed to go from there. He knew he had broken the golden rule of his contract by revealing Toby's death to Troian, but right now he didn't care. He couldn't keep that to himself. It would've suffocated him.
"So New York, huh? That's not too far… only three thousand miles." Troian said conversationally as she adjusted her head against his chest, leaning into him more comfortably.
He nodded, kissing the top of her head. "Just 2800 actually. And you can visit whenever you want. And I'll be back in LA to visit all the time."
Troian squeezed tighter around his waist, shutting her eyes to stop the tears. "I know."
She really didn't want to make him feel guilty for doing something he wanted to do. She would hate if he felt an obligation to stay in LA when his heart belonged in New York, just for the sake of her needing him close. But she had also known the pain of long distance relationships of any kind and after three years of flying back and forth to Canada every other weekend to see Patrick, she knew how exhausting it could be and not just on the physical front. She would hate for she and Keegan to get to a place where their emotional distance was further than their physical.
She did have hope though. She knew what she and Keegan had was something special.
She finally pulled back, keeping her arms looped around his waist. "I want you to know, no matter what you decide to do in the future, I'll be by your side through it all. Pretty Little Liars has nothing to do with why you're my best friend—it simply was a means of bringing us together and giving us a chance to experience new things together. I've watched you grow and morph into this truly amazing person over the years and I couldn't be prouder of you. It may feel like the end of the road, but that's only one road. You are going to have so many other paths to choose from and I know there lies success at the end of each one."
Keegan couldn't verbally reply, it had been an emotional night already and now he had this to add to his tears-inducing list, so he simply hugged her again, pressing a chaste kiss to her forehead in thanks.
She was all too happy to be back in his arms in such a way. She let him hold her without concern for when they would part.
He finally did separate them though.
"I'm sorry for leaving set without saying a proper goodbye. I just… I didn't want that to be our last memory. It was hard enough as it was to treat you in such a way for our last scene. And I knew you wouldn't know it was a real goodbye and I just couldn't even look at you without feeling guilty on every level…"
Troian shushed him, running her hands through his hair soothingly as she pulled him close once more. His breathing had become shaky again and he cursed himself for the millionth time for releasing so much emotion around her. He didn't want her to pity him or feel bad. But the thought of saying goodbye to their professional partnership was shattering his heart.
"I feel so bad I couldn't even put my feelings aside and be professional about it, but I just couldn't. I don't ever want to hurt you. You mean too much to me."
Troian kissed his cheek, her face resting against his. "I don't either. I love you."
"I love you too." he whispered, wishing he could somehow get her to understand exactly how deeply he meant it. It wasn't just that he loved her personality, or loved the way she was always there for him, or loved the sounds that came springing out of her when she was laughing so hard she could barely breathe. He was in love with her passion, her bravery, her ability to hold herself with such poise and grace. He had fallen for the way she would raise one eyebrow at him when he did something silly, the time it took her to do her make-up in the morning when they were going out to breakfast, and how, as soon as she got home from set, no matter what time of day or who was around, she would throw pajamas on.
Troian seemed to sense something in his tone since she leaned back to look him in the face.
His eyes searched hers, pleading her to understand what his vocal cords were having trouble transmitting. He couldn't keep it inside any longer, it hurt too much, but he couldn't seem to get the words out either.
Somehow, something inside her seemed to get it, since she suddenly leaned up and kissed him hard on the mouth.
Keegan collapsed back against the counter, his hands immediately jumping to rest on her waist as they exchanged countless kisses. Some were tender, slow, and deep, but others grew in heat and velocity, causing the hairs on his skin to stand up in anticipation.
He couldn't believe he was kissing Troian. There was no camera around, no script to follow, and he swore he had never felt more alive. She was making him breathless, but also feel like he was breathing for the first time.
He let his hand rise into her hair, toying with the waves there, his lips falling to her neck. He found his earlier darkening mark and kissed it gently, moving further down to leave another one.
She gasped at the feel, whimpering, and he knew she had been holding back her approval earlier on set. She had made a few noises, but he was excited to find out just how much she liked what he did.
As he sucked on her neck, Troian let her hands roam down his spine, sliding them into his back jean pockets and pushing his hips forward so they met hers. She grinded up into him, causing him to brace one arm against the counter as she continued to roll her pelvis deeply into his.
He released her neck from his suction prison, panting now at the effect she was having on his body. Troian took the opportunity to push his t-shirt over his head and remove her own.
Keegan thanked every god in existence for the fact that Troian often went around braless and that today was one of those days.
His hands, on reflex, immediately jumped to touch the newfound area. His insides were fizzling in excitement. Troian, too, seemed to enjoy the way his thumbs circled around her soft flesh. She moved her lower half faster against his.
"Keegan… we need to move this…" she told him, groaning as his mouth moved to replace his hands on her chest.
"In a minute…" he teased, his fingers busying themselves with undressing the rest of her and then preparing her body for what was to come.
Troian couldn't believe the pleasure he was sparking inside of her. She was frustrated by his lack of nakedness, but her temper was short-lived since he quickly discarded his own clothes once he was satisfied with his job.
He took her hand and pulled her in direction of his room, but she was too impatient for that. She slammed him against the nearest free wall and quickly leapt up to straddle him, not caring about how much faster she would be sore from the physical exertion. Keegan, thankfully strong, caught her and switched the power holding so she was the one against the firm structure.
Troian reached down and tugged on the stiff object that had been nudging against her leg. She slid herself smoothly down onto him, connecting their bodies in a way they had never been but had always longed to, and she locked her eyes on his as she began a rhythm.
Keegan matched her motions, his hands supporting underneath her thighs as he thrust into her. The sensation was too much. His forehead fell to rest against her collarbone, his breath coming out in short bursts.
"Oh god, Troian… you feel amazing…" he whimpered.
He never imagined it would feel like this when they finally made love. But it did. It felt like all of those cheesy love songs and romance novels and clichés rolled into one. It felt like he had been waiting his whole life for this. It felt like they were meant to fit together like this.
Her hands were gripping his shoulders, helping her rise and fall with him easier and her breath grew shaky as he began kissing her wherever he could reach.
"Fall for me… I've got you. I love you. Please, Troi, for me, fall for me." he whispered, referring to the edge she was clearly teetering on, as he kissed her face all over, her neck, her shoulders, her wrist.
After a moment, her back suddenly arched and her body began quaking, a single cry bursting from her lips, and he knew she was doing what he asked.
As Troian rode out her high, he continued kissing her face. But once she finished, she threw her mouth on his and kissed him more passionately than she ever had. It led to his undoing.
After they finally caught their breath, still connected as one despite the fact that they weren't fitting together quite so nicely anymore, Keegan helped Troian to the floor.
Her feet now firmly under her and her body solely her own, she stared up at him in wonder, her eyes wet.
"I love you too." she promised, leaning up to kiss him softly.
Keegan's heart felt like it had swollen to the size of a duvet stuffed inside his chest and nuzzled his face in her hair as he hugged her.
After a few hours of getting to know each other much more intimately than they had before, they lied in Keegan's bed. Keegan wasn't wasting a moment of getting to appreciate her body so he was currently splaying kisses across every inch of her skin.
Troian giggled as he peppered around her belly button, her fingers playing affectionately with his hair in encouragement. "Still haven't gotten your fix? I thought you'd get tired out eventually but you basically have proven you're the Energizer Bunny." she teased as she relaxed further back in the pillows.
He smiled. "Well, I suppose that's accurate. I've been storing my energy. Kind of have been waiting for this for about three years now…"
Troian groaned in delight as he massaged her inner thighs, spreading them apart for easier access. His lips descended to leave kisses after his fingers moved.
"I swear, despite aerial and running and all the other things I do, I think I've discovered new muscle groups with you tonight." she murmured as his lips trailed up her abdomen to take inventory of her neck.
"Does this mean you're against another round right now?" he asked flirtatiously, tugging on her earlobe playfully, his thigh slipping between hers to rub her sensually.
"How many times are we going to do this tonight?" she asked him amusedly, unable to help herself from giggling as she rolled on top of him again.
He united them once more, causing them both to gasp in delight at the sensation and shrugged as they began moving together.
"Until it hurts?" he suggested, causing her to laugh.
"We seriously need to get you some new material." she replied, rolling her eyes.
She began returning his earlier favour and kissed up his chiseled abs. Lord, she had longed to do this for too long.
"Besides... I think I can get you to beg for mercy before then..." she whispered sensually once she had reached his ear, loving the way he shuddered beneath her at the implication of what was to come.
He had no idea what he was in for. But he couldn't wait to find out.
Despite all the change that today's news had brought, Keegan was definitely feeling grateful for where it had led. Maybe he would have to say goodbye to Pretty Little Liars, but he knew that he had gained something much more long-lasting with his departure.