Chapter Seven – I'm Sorry But It Had To Be Done…sorry.

Xander: Man that was some battle.

Buffy: Yeah.

Xander: I'm mean, it was a huge battle.

Buffy: Yeah.

Xander: Huge.

Buffy: Yeah.

Willow: At least we all survived.

Xander: Yeah.

[Xander looks at Buffy with a smile and she smiles back]

[Willow notices this exchange]

Willow: What is that?

Xander: What?

Willow: You don't hear that?

Buffy: Hear what?

Willow: I better go and…you know [pause] ok.

[Willow exits]

Xander: You hear anything?

Buffy: Nope.

Xander: So I'm not going deaf?

[Buffy mouths something]

Xander: Very funny.

Buffy: Thanks Xander.

Xander: I was being sarcastic.

Buffy: No not about that…about, well, you know…thanks.

Xander: For coming about and saving your ass?

Buffy: Yeah, that.

Xander: No problem. I wasn't about to let you stop me from saving…well, you.

Buffy: You're not going to bring this up every time I tell you to do stop, are you?

Xander: Not every time.

Buffy: Oh God, maybe you saving me wasn't such a good idea.

Xander: Yeah because another death is exactly what you need.

[Buffy smiles]

Buffy: I also forgot. Dawn told me something very interesting about you.

Xander: She did?…What could Dawn tell you about me? [Xander's eyes widen] She didn't!

Buffy: She did.

Xander: Listen I can explain.

Buffy: Sure you can.

Xander: She misinterpreted what I said.

Buffy: Doesn't sound like there was much to misinterpret.

Xander: Regardless of what she told you I don't yo…

Buffy: Listen Xander it's okay.

Xander: But I…it's okay?

Buffy: Yes.

Xander: Let me get this straight…it's okay? As in your fine with it?

Buffy: Why wouldn't I be fine with it?

Xander: I ask myself that every day.

Buffy: Really?

Xander: Wait a minute. What exactly did Dawn tell you?

Buffy: That you love a mysterious woman.

Xander: Mysterious?

Buffy: Dawn wouldn't tell me her name.

Xander: She wouldn't?

Buffy: Not for the want of trying.

Xander: She you don't have a clue who this woman is?

Buffy: Dawn said it wasn't Alyssa.

Xander: Alyssa?

Buffy: From your work.

Xander: Oh yeah.

Buffy: So I take it, it isn't her.

Xander: No it isn't her.

Buffy: But you do love a mysterious woman?

Xander: I suppose I do.

Buffy: You suppose? Are you not that sure?

Xander: I wasn't sure for a long time but now…now…yeah, I love her.

Buffy: So you have known this woman for a long time? Why haven't I met her?

Xander: That would be impossible.

Buffy: Impossible? Why?

Xander: It's you.

Buffy: Me?

Xander: Yeah.

Buffy: You love me?

Xander: Yeah.

Buffy: Me?

Xander: Yeah.

Buffy: I don't understand.

Xander: I love you Buffy Summers.

Buffy: But you're Xander.

Xander: I'm aware of that.

Buffy: You can't love me.

Xander: I can and do.

Buffy: But you're Xander.

Xander: We've established that fact.

Buffy: You love me?

Xander: And that one.

Buffy: But…

Xander: It's simple Buffy. I love you. I loved you since the first time I saw you. I loved you even when I didn't know I loved you. I have always loved you and probably always will. You are my first thought when I wake up in the morning and my last thought before I fall asleep. You are my first, my all, my everything. It's simple…I love you.

Buffy: Xander I…I…

Xander: I know what you're going to say. That was the reason why I didn't tell you until now.

Buffy: Why now?

Xander: Tonight I could have died, we all could have. I know that I have faced much worst and survived [Xander's hand goes to his back] but there is point when you realise that you won't survive. I know death is inevitable but until now I never really accepted that. Now…now everything is different. No longer will I be held captive by fear, fear of rejection, fear of being alone, fear of…whatever. That's why I told you I love you. I don't expect you to feel the same way; I just had to say it. I just had too. I'm sorry…I'm sorry if this ruins our friendship but there are some things in life that are worth gambling for. 

[Xander exits]

Buffy: Xander!

Author's note: I know, I know. I'm sorry. Some of you will doubtless be disappointed that a writer of my…err…quality has done what I did but it had to be done. As the old saying goes 'a man has to do what a man has to do'. Admittedly most of the time that involves such actions as spitting, watching football (soccer if you are one of those unfortunate people will the mind-numbing disability forcing you to call sports by their wrong names) and some form of bodily function. However on this occasion it involved none of them (okay, maybe one of the latter), on this occasion it involved…well, you know what it involved. So I will leave you will the two words that keep me going through the hard process of writing this chapter, 'for England!'