Chapter One: Its Not Enough.
Life had always been hard for Rogue, but Alkali Lake had done more in those few hours then the rest of her life.
Pyro had asked whether she always did what she was told, and it took only a few moments to realise she didn't. She was just the Rogue. The one who had run away from home after her mutation had put one boy in a coma and turned her parents against her. She had gone into dingy bars to find drivers who could take her to where she wanted to go. She had gone in one bar and saw a cage fight where she met one Wolverine. Despite all proprierty she had fallen for the Wolverine.
What had following the rules got her? After seeing Wolverine flirt more then once with Dr Jean Grey, after loosing him to a taken man, she had tried to follow the rules. She had dated Bobby Drake because that was the norm. Briefly, when Wolverine met Iceman she had thought maybe there was jealousy there. Nothing happened. Nothing changed.
Then Alkali Lake happened. She saw Jean and Wolverine kiss. She had seen Jean enter Wolverine's tent. She had felt so much pain in her mind it was like absorbing every one of her victims she ever had all at the same time. She had fallen from the jet, fearing this was her end, and Kurt saved her. She couldn't help but wonder however brief why Wolverine hadn't saved her... He after all was one of the few that could survive such a fall without dieing.
Then the dam broke. She saw the look in Jean's eyes as she realised the jet would not be able to get into the air let alone before everything around them flooded. In seconds she thought of how Jean's death would effect everyone around her. Scott loved her. Everyone admired her. Jean was Xavier's favourite student. Wolverine... he loved her. Who did she have? Oh, she supposed she could say she had Bobby but she had seen him eye Kitty Pryde more then once. Pyro was gone. Her own parents didn't want her, and who really knew her? No one knew her real name. Even the name she gave Wolverine was just her middle name.
Without a single hesitation she unbuckled herself from her seat and calmly strode to where Jean stood. She managed to walk so calmly that no one paid her any attention. Rogue stood in Jean's way, looking the redhead in the eye as she slipped off both of her white gloves.
'You have more to live for then I do. My mutation only destroys, yours can do wonders. W-wolverine... I'll never be but a kid to him. He wants you. I may be nothing but he's everything, and if you die I fear he'll not be able to recover from that. Besides, we both know that us two are the only ones who can save everyone on this plane. I am afraid of being the one that survived and the vicious aftermath of that. I am not afraid of death. We both know they all love you. They fear me. This shall be the only decent thing I've done in my life. I hate that he loves you, I hate I'll never be able to compete with you, and I hate that you are so damn perfect. However, I am sorry this is the only way that I'll save everyone. You shouldn't be out long, and even if you are you will recover. You will wake. My first did eventually after four months.'
With that she placed both of her hands over Jean's and as her mutation did its work she subtly backed Jean towards a seat, watching as the redhead dropped onto the seat guided to. It didn't take long for her body to copy Jean's mutation, absorb a few memories that wrenched through Rogue's heart as most contained Jean and Wolverine together, and her own personal mini-Jean. Her own Jean psyche. Rogue locked everything but the mutation away, buckled Jean into her seat, and left the jet as calmly as possible. No one even noticed.
A part of her was annoyed as she closed the ramp and started up the jet that no one had noticed she was gone nor chased after her. She was not surprised, and so with one hand facing the jet whilst another faced the roaring tsunami breaking from the dam she let herself change Jean into herself in a few of Jean's memories as well as changed Jean's name to her own - Anna - and let herself enjoy a moment that would never come.
It was only once the Blackbird was high in the air she felt Xavier's mental prodding. She decided to let him in as she felt the jet now able to power on its own and focused all her telekinetic strength on the roaring waters.
'What are you doing Rogue? It does not have to be this way.'
Rogue almost laughed at that as she looked at Xavier in her mindscape. Of course her mindscape was the X-mansion and each psyche had their own personal room which she tried to keep locked most of the time. It however used a hell of a lot of energy to do so.
"It was the only way. Who else would be able to do this? Jean? We both know her life is worth a hell of a lot more then mine."
She snapped bitterly, her eyes focused on the jet despite the palm of her hands facing backwards as she kept her hands behind her back.
'That is not true Rogue. Your life has only begun...'
He spoke, but it only caused Rogue to truly laugh then. It was a mocking bitter laugh but a laugh all the same.
"Oh really? So you'd be willing to have Dr Jean Grey die in my place? We both know thats not true. We also know the secret she holds within her mind. A secret she does not even know about, but you do. You did it to her, I felt it, I have a copy with me, but the difference between me and Jean is I have practice keeping others under my control within my own head. Sure, a few times I slip, but overall I can handle it a hell of a lot better then she can. If she was here she'd not only have to use every bit of her power but the trauma of it all would unlock that part of her you've tried so hard to contain."
Xavier looked ashamed at her words and so Rogue softened her expression.
"You did what you thought was best Charles. We know that. However I ask you respect my decision and tell Wolverine just one thing for me. I was always his. My heart was always his, and even in death I embrace the passionate love I have felt for him since I first saw him in that cage fight. I knew as soon as you saw Jean I never had a chance and so upon my dieing moment I tell you this; I give you my blessing to be with her not because it would not hurt me and I want it, but because I have only ever wanted to see you happy."
With that, Rogue cut off the connection to Xavier and turned to face the roaring waves that were surrounding her although did not touch her due to Jean's mutation. As she looked upon the waves that were so tall they could rival the Eiffel Tower Rogue found herself pondering what could never be and if it would hurt ever so much to die. She had never thought of dieing, she had never been the suicidal type, but in the end she had never been afraid of it. Oh, she was afraid of a lot of things, her top fear being her own mutation, but funnily enough death had not been one of them. Even at the statue of Liberty she had been screaming because of the unbearable pain, and although she did not want to die then she did not fear it.
Perhaps a Peter Pan quote was right; 'Death would be an awfully big adventure.'
"Goodbye Logan. You were never mine."
She whispered before seconds later releasing her hold on the fiercesome waves. She felt the initial unbearable pain of the water buffeting against her, the choking feeling and wierd sensation of water filling her lungs, before with a great relief she passed out.
In the few moments of unconciousness where she was able to stay within her mindscape she felt happy she had finally done one good thing. It had been all her fault the jet had been broken and so it was only fair she fixed the situation. She thought she saw Logan in the distance of her mindscape which was quickly turning black and for a moment she begged him to save her one last time. A single second of weakness when she still hoped things would be different this time. Then all awareness disappeared.
After a while the water settled in its new home, the waters turning calm, and gradually sounds of the few bits of nature that survived began to come back. There was no sounds of the jet hovering overhead nor any sounds of humans or mutants searching for a single lost soul. Infact the only odd thing that could be seen initially was a still body, bloated and covered in chains that looked like they had been torn from a solid wall. The body looked like a log as it went forward and back with the lapping of the waves on its new bank. The rhythm adding another layer of tranquility despite the morbidness of it.
On the opposite side of the lake, the west side, there was a sudden ripple in the water before a body seemed to be spat out of the lake. It landed with a heavy thud on the few concrete walls that did not sit at the bottom of the lake causing several loud cracks to resound through the forest in a sickening echo. The body was as still as the dead, so still that a wary deer made its way closer to the oddly shaped thing. Its nose touched a soaked but soft cheek, taking a few whiffs of the clean smelling thing, before it trailed its nose up the cheek and into the long fur that sprouted from its head. It was long dark fur that held a slight wave to it with two odd white streaks at the front of it. The fur looked wild and untamed so much so the deer expected it to feel rough but instead it was silky to the touch.
It continued its exploration down the rest of the body, its nose not liking the strange black thing that encased the creature's body, before noticing the feet as well as a small amount of the legs still hidden within the waters of the lake. The deer stepped over the body but as she did so her hind leg accidentally kicked the chest of the creature above the odd mounds that sat high upon the chest before wandering away into the depths of the forest.
What no one saw was the heart of the body beating two solitary beats upon being hit of the deer's hoof or the sudden spray of water that the heart's beat had caused the lungs to expel. With the majority of the water removed in that single moment the heart beat another two beats, sending blood through the body, which caused the lungs to expel the remaining amounts of water. With the blockage removed the organs of the body slowly began to come back to life. Cuts healed before the eyes within seconds, bruises disappeared, broken bones reset themselves, and then with a desperate gasp two honey brown eyes snapped open in complete shock.
The walls that had crumbled in her mind shot back up. Psyches and memories forced back into their rooms whilst the mutations that had flared up and active when the organs began to work again flooded into her bloodstream, forever altering her DNA as well as her mutation. Everything came to life, she could feel everything, and yet something was missing.
It was something important she was sure but then the smell of prey, a deer, filtered into her nose and all rational thoughts disappeared just as she disappeared into the forest.
Author's Note: I never intended to start a new story nor wanted to. I blame television for putting on X-men 2. I ended up watching the second half of it and realised how much I hated what happened so I knew I had to change it. I am so so so very sorry for starting a new story but as you can see I couldn't resist. Anyway, not sure how this will be received so if you could leave a review I'd be entirely welcome. As you can see this will be a Rogan story although Victor may appear in later chapters - however it will not be in a romantic capacity. It will be to get the brothers back together, reunited, and with Logan having his full memories again - YAY!