Arthur Pendragon Presents: How (not) to Tell a Boy You Like Him

A/N [show-me-your-tardis]

Plot – Arthur decides enough is enough and confronts his feelings. Also known as, that time Arthur asked his friends how to win over his manservant (and got some terrible advice.)

Chapter Three, the last chapter, also known as Arthur and Merlin revert back to teenagers!

So the second to last scene was inspired by an episode of Torchwood I watched recently, ENJOY IT


Chapter Three

"You have to help me." Arthur begged, the next day, as he ran to keep up with Gwen.

She was carrying a basket of washing towards the kitchens. She still had left over flour on her dress from her baking this morning.

"Arthur, I'm a little busy."

"Please Guinevere!" Arthur begged, he reached out and pulled on her arm, stopping her in her tracks.

"You want some advice?" She asked, shaking Arthur off her.

"Yes!" He cried.

"You're going about this the wrong way. You're asking a bunch of idiot knights how to get girls, when you should be asking a girl." With that, Gwen carried on walking down the corridor.

Arthur caught up to her again, "Asking a girl what?"

"What she'd like a boy to do for her, or what she'd do for a boy."

"Oh... Where can I find a girl, then?" Arthur asked.

Gwen sighed and marched on.

"Gwen! I'm joking, I'm joking. Please help me. What would you like a boy to do?"

Gwen got a distant smile on her face, as though remembering a happy memory from long ago, "I'd like him to take me on a date... And buy me flowers... And-"

"THANKS GWEN!" Arthur shouted from down the corridor as he ran off after Merlin.

Gwen rolled her eyes and carried on down the corridor.

Boys she thought, they're all idiots.

Gwen's Advice

"I'm bored." Merlin complained for the third time.

"If you say that one more time, I will hunt you." Arthur replied, for the second time.

This date wasn't exactly going as planned. When they'd left Camelot, the weather had been fair and perfect for hunting. Arthur had even gotten Merlin flowers... That is until a bee had flown out of one and the two of them had screamed like little girls. Now the rain had started and was soaking through their clothes. It was the kind of rain that wasn't heavy, but instead created a sort of mist. The two of them could only see a few feet in front of them, leaving their chances of finding anything to hunt very low, and their morale even lower.

"It's cold and wet and we can't see anything. Can we just go home?" Merlin asked.

"No. Don't be such a girl, Merlin."




"Stop making up words."

"Stop being such a clotpole then."

Arthur felt the corner of his lips curl up, he forced a sigh anyway, "Shut up Merlin."

But Merlin could still hear the smile on his lips. Arthur released the reins of his horse and blew warm air into his icy hands. He glanced back at Merlin, whose hair was plastered to his forehead and looked icy cold.

"Keep up Merlin."

"Arthur... What's that?" Merlin's voice had changed, it was no longer light and playful, it was now full of worry.

The change in Merlin's voice brought Arthur to a halt, "What?"

Merlin gestured to the left of them, through the mist they could see a lump leaning back against a fallen tree. Arthur squinted and tried to see what the lump was, from here it looked like a body.

"Stay here." Arthur told Merlin as he jumped from his horse.

But he wasn't at all surprised when he heard Merlin's feet hit the ground too. Instead, he slowed and allowed Merlin to catch up before they wandered over to the lump. The rain was coming down heavier now, and it was accompanied by a slight wind, causing the rain to come down at a slant.

Before they reached the mystery shape, they heard their horses whinny and the sound of galloping hooves.

"NO!" Merlin shouted, as both of them ran back, only to see their horses galloping away.

"My sword was on the horse..." Arthur whispered.

It didn't take a genius to figure out something wasn't quite right here. They both glanced wearily back at the supposed body on the log, Arthur ran over to it and pulled the blanket away from it.

Only to reveal some conveniently placed rocks. He silently cursed his own stupidity, and didn't need to look up to know bandits were now emerging from the forest.

Out of instinct, Arthur took a few steps back to shield Merlin from view. Merlin peeked over Arthur's shoulders and saw more bandits than he'd ever seen in one place. Merlin counted quickly, but more just kept emerging, baring their ugly teeth.

Ten, Twenty, Thirty, Merlin lost count.

"What do we have here then? It's only the King of Camelot, ain't it?" One of the bandits shouted.

Arthur knew only two things for sure:

One) He didn't have his sword with him and

Two) Even with his sword he wouldn't be able to kill thirty plus bandits without Merlin getting injured.

So he did the only thing he could do to protect Merlin. He grabbed his hand and yelled, "RUN!"

And run they did.

Arthur weaved expertly through the trees, with Merlin trailing behind. The rain pelted into Arthur, biting into his skin, but he didn't slow down. They were fast, but the bandits were faster, they were catching up.

In his head, Arthur's strategic planning was kicking in, we can't fight, we can't run, all that's left is to hide.

Arthur silently calculated where he was and where they could possibly hide. He looked around as he ran, the only thing keeping him calm was Merlin's hand in his, he held tight.

Arthur veered to the right, Merlin stumbled slightly but overall managed to keep upright, Arthur would have to congratulate him later on. Finally, he spotted his destination, the part where the earth fell away, resulting in two cliffs and a deep valley between them.

It was as though Merlin could read Arthur's thoughts, "No Arthur. No, it's too dangerous!"

But Arthur didn't hear him over the rain; or if he did hear him, he chose to ignore him. Instead, he sprinted faster than before as the cries and jeers of the bandits got closer.

Then suddenly, they were flying.

No, not flying, Merlin thought, falling.

They were plummeting to the ground below, Arthur shut his eyes in preparation for their landing. Merlin on the other hand, was more prepared, he whispered the spell.

Unfortunately, he wasn't as quick as he should have been and both of them still landed with a thud. Sharp pains traveled up Merlin's free arm and Arthur had twisted his ankle, but without the spell it could have been much worse.

Arthur, still holding Merlin's hand, yanked him up and dragged him to the bottom of the rocky cliff.

"What are you looking for?" Merlin panted, he had a stitch in his left side and his lungs were on fire.

Arthur didn't answer, he dropped Merlin's hand and, careful not to put too much weight on his ankle, shoved a rock to the side, revealing a smallish hole. The hole, Merlin realised, was just big enough for two men about Arthur and Merlin's size.

"No." He said.

"Do you want to die?" Arthur asked, staring at Merlin through the rain.

His eyes were bright and intense, he was out of breath and his heart was beating faster than ever, he was sure Merlin could hear it.

"No but..."

Merlin was cut off by the sounds of the bandits above them, there were calls of "they went down there" and "they must be injured" but more frightening than them, there was "I know a shortcut."

That spurred Merlin on then, by now Arthur was already wriggling feet first into the hole.

"How should I get in?" Merlin asked when Arthur's head had disappeared from view.

"Just climb in on top of me." The voice echoed from out the cave.

"What!" Merlin looked flustered, and had Arthur seen it, he would have smiled.

"For goodness sakes, hurry up!" Arthur called.

Merlin shook off his embarrassment and wriggled in, he figured being face-to-face with, and on top of, Arthur in the dark would be better than being murdered by bandits.

"Pull the rock over on your way in."

So Merlin did, ignoring the sharp pains in his arm.

"OW! Merlin!" Arthur hissed.

"Sorry!" Merlin whispered as he clambered onto Arthur.

Elbows and knees dug into Arthur's chest and stomach, but he kept as quiet as possible, only occasionally letting out a gasp.

The dark in the hole was suffocating and had Merlin been alone, he wouldn't have been able to stand it. It was horrible in the hole, it smelt like dirt and the faint smell of rain. The hole was tiny and the sharp edges of rock above him stuck into him. He readjusted himself, eliciting a small cry from Arthur.

"You're on my..." Arthur gasped.

"Oh God, sorry."

Merlin pulled his knee away from Arthur's special area and, in doing so, managed to whack his head on the rock above him. He collapsed forward closer to Arthur.

"Ow, ow, ow."

"What? What did you do?" Arthur whispered.

"My head." Merlin's hands were still holding him up so he couldn't reach up to see if he was bleeding.

And in another telepathic moment, Arthur freed his own hand and pressed gently on the back of Merlin's head. He couldn't feel any wetness or stickiness of blood, only Merlin's soft hair.

"You're not bleeding, you'll be fine."

Their eyes were adjusting to the darkness now and Arthur could make out the silhouette of Merlin above him. He could feel his body on his, they fit together quite well. Merlin had his legs and arms either side of Arthur, resulting in a kind of straddling position. Arthur had one hand on the back of Merlin's head and the other on the dusty floor.

Anything could happen...

The sounds of the bandits outside, snapped Arthur back to reality.

"Where'd they go?" One bandit asked.

"Must be somewhere, probably broke some legs when they fell."

"What should we do?" Merlin whispered, staring at where the rock hid them from view.

What should we do? It was a good question. One Arthur had been fighting with for quite some time. What should he do with Merlin?

Without over thinking it – without thinking about it at all really – Arthur pulled Merlin's head down to his. He lifted his own head up until their lips met.

Merlin froze for a second, not believing this was actually happening. Until his mind kicked in and shouted that it was happening. He was kissing Arthur Pendragon!

So his lips moved then, they moved with Arthur's like it was the most natural thing in the world. One of Arthur's hands entwined in Merlin's hair and the other rested on his lower back. Merlin's hands ceased holding him up and he collapsed properly into Arthur now. The sounds of the bandits outside fell away, the only sound now was the sound of rain on the cliff and Merlin and Arthur's sighs.

They couldn't tell how long they stayed there, making out like teenagers, but eventually the rain stopped and they were forced to break apart when they heard...

"ARTHUR? MERLIN? Where the hell are they!" Lancelot shouted.

"You don't think..." Elyan trailed off.

Arthur guessed all the knights had come looking, when they hadn't returned.

Out of breath, from the lack of air in their hiding place and their activities, they decided to put the knights out of their misery. Arthur would have much preferred to stay here and continue, but Merlin was already pushing the rock out of the way.

"We're in here." He panted.

Gwaine ran over and helped drag Merlin out, Percival did the same for Arthur.

Lancelot looked from Arthur's red lips to Merlin's messed up hair, before asking, "What were you doing?"

"Hiding from bandits." Arthur said in a matter-of-fact voice.

"Is that what we're calling it now?" Gwaine smirked.

Merlin readjusted his tunic and tried to force his blush back down. He eventually gave up, when Arthur interlocked his fingers with his for the walk back to Camelot.

Later on that day, Merlin came to Arthur's chambers to serve dinner.

Or that's what he called it, but when he appeared there was a distinct lack of food in his hands.

They ended up on the spacious bed, but they only needed a small section. In the same position they'd been in in the cave, they continued acting like love-struck teenagers. It was warmer here than it had been out there and the room was bathed in an orange glow from the fireplace. But none of that mattered, with all the attention they were paying, the castle could have collapsed, and they wouldn't have pulled away from each other.

They were briefly interrupted by a knock on the door, but they merely responded with a joint chorus of "GO AWAY!" before returning to each other's lips.