Disclaimer: I don't own either of these shows.
A/N I: It's time for these two groups to have another case! For those of you who got here from Fluffy Hair and Nosy Bosses, welcome. This one isn't going to lean so heavy on the comedy side. However, it wouldn't be a story written by me if there wasn't a little slapstick here and there. For those of you who haven't heard of/read the Fluffy Hair and Nosy Bosses story, welcome; there may be slight references to it. Here's what you'll need to know in a nutshell: Danny and Deeks have been carrying on a long-distance friendship where they complain about their teams, share stories, and try to help the other to fix their problems/harass their annoying teammates.
A/N II: Bonus fun for anyone who's interested: The titles of all the chapters have something in common. I'd like to get the first person who figures it out to pick something/decide a plot point later in the story (only rule, the winner has to have a FF account so that we can PM about it).
Now that all of that is out of the way, enjoy.
Steve wandered through the darkened halls of their office towards Danny's office. He had promised Grace he would drop her present off on his desk for her. He was sure Danny would know, but to Grace it was a clandestine mission that was top secret and he was happy to play along. Somehow the kid had wormed her way into everyone's hearts and they were happy to indulge her.
He pushed the door open with his fist and soft-walked over to the desk. He placed the package in the centre of the cleared space. He nudged it to line it up straight. A smile ghosted across his face and he turned to leave. And stopped dead.
There was something on the couch. His hand moved over to his holster and he quietly unclipped the snap. He slid to the side so the early dawn light gave him a better view.
It moved and made a sound. It sounded something like a snore? He pulled the gun out and two-handed it as he moved around to the one end. With the gun firmly held in his right hand, he grabbed the edge of the blanket and whipped it back in one fluid motion.
He flipped it back on and circled around to the other end of the couch. He repeated his actions and found a head. A blonde one. The face, unfortunately, was buried deep into the cushions. Gun still clutched in his hand, he kept that steady and poked at the shoulder with his other hand. Nothing. He shook it. Nada. He stood up straight and his face creased in confusion. He paced around, looking around the couch for a bottle, a note, or anything that would give him an indication as to who this was.
An hour later he had turned Danny's office upside down. He'd started quietly, but once he noticed that nothing seemed to change the person's breathing pattern, he'd gone to town and tore the place apart. It took him another hour to search through the office to see if there were any clues out there.
So, in summary, two hours of work and nothing to show for it.
He finally ended up standing in front of the couch, feet planted firmly on the floor with his arms crossed and a stern look furrowing his brow. That is how Danny found him when he came into work.
"What are you doing?"
"There's a guy sleeping on your couch." He nodded his head in the general direction.
"I can see that. Why are you standing here glaring at him?"
"He won't wake up."
"Did you think to check if he was dead?"
"Based on the snoring, I'd say he's still alive."
"Why don't we wake it up?"
Danny smirked at Steve and sauntered out towards the supply closet. He came back with a canister which he held up and pushed down on the top.
A screaming horn blasted through the air, bouncing off the walls and reverberating back. Danny and Steve watched as the figure on the couch jack-knifed and rolled off onto the floor. It landed in a heap under the blanket.
"Air horn; it's how my mom used to get us out of bed when we were teenagers." Steve nodded sagely in agreement. They kept watching as the person fought with the blanket, finally ripping it off and exposing his head.
Steve turned to Danny, "You know him?"
"He's LAPD." He faced the man in question, who was presently untangling his body from the blanket and struggling to stand up. "What are you doing here?"
"Sleeping. Chin let me in."
Danny rolled his eyes. Getting answers from the floppy-haired beach bum was never easy. "Why are you in Hawaii?"
"Hetty sent me."
"Of course she did. What secret mission do you have to complete now?"
Deeks eyes slid over to Steve, he tipped his head up and squinted a bit. "You McGarrett?"
Deeks dug into his back pocket and pulled out a folded envelope and handed it to him. Steve frowned as he opened it, but it dissipated as he scanned the contents of the letter.
"I guess you got in last night."
"Yeah, it was a surprise for me, so not much time to plan."
"Come on, we'll find you some breakfast and then get to work."
Danny gaped, "Hello! Anyone want to let me in on this? He was on my couch."
Steve had that look of 'I don't understand why you're so worked up, but I'll humour you anyway' that he usually got daily. "Of course he was, I don't have a couch. Let's go."
With that they left in the hunt for food.
A couple hours of sleep, a taxi ride, an airplane ride, another taxi ride, and quick stop at home ago
"Mr. Deeks, my office?"
Deeks turned from his intended path, the one that would lead him out the door and towards his evening plans. "Yes, Hetty?" She nodded towards the guest chair and he obliged, dropping himself and his bag into position.
"I have an assignment for you."
"I would like to state upfront that Monty does have a habit of eating paper, so he could potentially eat my homework."
Hetty smiled, this one never failed to amuse her. "I'm happy to say that won't be possible."
Deeks cocked an eyebrow, "Oh?"
She handed over an envelope with 'Steve McGarrett' written on the front. "Your assignment's in Hawaii."
Deeks squinted into the sunshine and tracked a surfer coming in on a decent-sized wave. He stabbed his fork onto his paper plate and tried to not think about the fact that he was eating shrimp for breakfast. Danny and Steve were arguing over something that Deeks hadn't been able to follow. It was starting to remind him of Sam and Callen's back-and-forths, only at a louder volume and with more hand swinging.
He hadn't gotten enough sleep to deal with this.
He ducked again to avoid Danny's hand and slid to the side to avoid the elbow from Steve. Kamekona came up beside him. He craned his neck to look up at him and asked "are they always like this?"
"Even this early in the morning?"
"Usually they start earlier." He placed a steaming cup in front of Deeks. "I like to have a cup of coffee first, helps me to deal with all the words that roll around."
Deeks nodded his thanks and took a sip. It was good coffee, certainly better than any precinct brew. He was almost done the cup when something felt off. He looked up to find two sets of eyes staring at him. "What?"
Danny propped his elbows on the table, "Why are you here; SuperSEAL over there won't tell me."
"The envelope was addressed to me."
"Don't take that tone with me."
Steve stuck out his tongue.
"Great, you're imitating a two-year-old now."
Deeks had a thought flash through his mind; is this what him and Kensi sounded like? No, couldn't be. Couldn't possibly be. He sighed and then started at the beginning.
"We caught a case that has to do with smuggling ring. Someone is stealing the Navy's medical supplies in the Middle East and Asia, moving them through Hawaii to LA. We're sure that someone is on the inside here but we're not sure who it is. I got sent to do some digging."
Danny cut in, "Why you?"
A smug comment came from across the table, "I know why, it was in the letter."
"Could you please tell the infant that I am ignoring him."
"Anyway, most of the field office here are known on the base, everyone knows that Sam is a SEAL and Kensi's already poked around the base looking for info on her dad, so they were blown. Callen was here with that whole..."
"Blood feud?" Danny supplied.
"Yeah, so I'm the only one that has an unknown face. So here I am."
"How are you going to get in?"
Steve snorted, "Well, he's not going in as a marine or sailor, not with that hair."
"Ha ha. No. I'm not cutting my hair off and I'm not joining the navy. I need to know what bars the more...unsavory sailors might frequent. I'll start there."
Danny turned, "Steven, where shall the shaggy-headed detective go to get a drink?"
"Why should I know?"
"You threaten to drop people off of buildings and feed them to sharks. That is the very definition of unsavory."
He got a glare in return. "I am not unsavory." Steve paused, "but I do know a couple you could try."
"Aha! You are an unsavory character."
"You never let me finish. I've never been in them, but I've had to pick up a few buddies from outside."
Deeks grabbed the chance to re-enter the conversation. "Great, give me the names and addresses and I'll see what I can dig up."
Danny watched the search engine scroll through the criminal database looking for a match for the description of the carjackers. They had hit three times already and when the statements from all the eyewitnesses were put together, they came up with a fairly decent description. The search was three-quarters done when his phone rang.
He didn't recognize the number. "Hello?"
"Hello Mr. Williams."
Danny scrunched his nose and attempted to place the voice. When he did, it came with the picture of a short woman whom he was wary of. "Hi Hetty."
"I know you and Mr. Deeks have a rapport so I was wondering if you have had better luck staying in contact with him."
"Come now, I know you two have been texting and calling back forth."
"Uhh, I guess we have." He could hear the over-the-glasses look she was giving him over the phone. "Yes, we have a 'rapport'."
"When was the last time you talked to him?"
"The morning he got here; we went out for breakfast and Steve gave him the information he needed and we haven't seen or heard from him since."
Silence greeted his words. "This is not good. We cannot seem to make contact with him."
"You lost Deeks?!"