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Summary: Welcome to Hetalia Academy. What is it? Well, it all started when England's spell screwed up and brought all of the different versions of the countries in. Yes. Every single version. You name it, the academy hold him or her. Nyotalia, 2ptalia, Chibitalia. Even pirate England is there! Anyways, this is the story of all of them having to be together inside of the school.

Warnings:

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia - even though I wish I did

If you don't like my story,
Don't complain like a jackass,
Don't whine about anything as there IS a warning slot,
Don't flame my story just because you don't like the contents.

Find a mistake? Tell me.
Any advice? Let it be granted!
Critics are invited happily.

Pre-Authors Note: As stated in the index and introduction, some chapters will have mature content. This one does - if you don't like it, please go to the next chapter.

One-Shot
Oliver and England~

Two player England otherwise known as Oliver was the perfect opposite of England. He was a great cook and baker, and often helped cook the food for the academy as long as he promised not to poison anything. England was banned from the kitchen unless it was the unused cooking classroom which he was allowed to use. Oliver hated cussing, while England could cuss more than a sailor and only his pirate self could compete with him with it. Oliver spoiled and paid more attention to two player Canada while England paid most attention to America. Plus many more things made them total, utter opposites.


Cooking

"No! No! A pinch! A pinch!", Oliver cried, stopping England from dumping an entire cup of random seasoning.

"You're making cupcakes not meat! Wrong, wrong!", he cried.

"Bloody hell, I'm just doing what I always do!", England shot back.

"No cussing.", Oliver sighed, folding his hands together, "Lets try this again. No ginger, and what's this? Spices? Oh my...no wonder the world hates your cooking! It's just...terrible!", he cried.

"Nonsense! My cooking is just fine!", England glared.

"It's terrible! Terrible! Why did you add mint?", Oliver sighed, looking into the bowl.

"I want the frosting to be minty.", England declared.

"Then you want to add it to the frosting, not the cake mix.", Oliver sighed, placing his own batch in front of English.

"What do you want me to do?", England scowled.

"I want you to add the colouring to the batch. Whatever color you want.", Oliver said.

England moved and was about to pour a bowl of a green mixture into the batch but Oliver stopped him, "You want to add only a cup of the green.", he said.

England slowly nodded, watching as Oliver did just that.

"Okay then, now we put it into the cupcake pan.", Oliver stated, pulling out said pan and slowly pouring the batter into it.

"Now, set the oven too-", Oliver started.

"I got this!", English insisted, pushing the pan into the oven.

~o~0~o~

One hour later, the first batch was done. Another half an hour later, the second batch was in. After ten minutes in the oven, it exploded.

"WHAT DID YOU SET IT TOO?", Oliver cried.

"What you told me to!", England returned.

Oliver merely groaned, "Wait a minute - did you put the paper into the pan?", he frowned.

"Maybe.", England coughed into his fist.

"Oh my...only you, only you.", Oliver sighed.


Language

England and Oliver both had very different language preferences. England preferred to use his 'extended' vocabulary, while Oliver merely expressed his anger by either putting poison into their food or mentally scarring them.

When America called England's food terrible;

"You bloody git! Your food is just as terrible!"

When Ted (Two player America) called Oliver's food shit;

Oliver had said nothing, but a hour later Ted was being rushed off to the nearest hospital as he had swallowed a large amount of arsenic.


Their America's

Oliver and Ted got along wonderfully, and though Ted often played angry at the Englishman, he loved Oliver and loved it whenever he got attention from him, seeing as Lucas (Two player Canada) got the most attention and he was practically annoyed during their childhood. Meanwhile, England and America got along horribly. America insulted England's food as much as possible and made jokes at him as much as possible. The two hated each other.

On Mother's Day, Ted would give Oliver a card with Lucas. On Mother's Day, Canada would give England a card while America would forgot and give England a card three days later. On the Fourth of July or Independence Day, Ted ended up coiled around Oliver's embrace while the Englishman pretended that his little boys never left him. On Independence Day, England would get himself drunk while America celebrated and cared practically nothing for the Englishman on this day other than when he ended up dragging England back into safety - away from the plotting eyes of all the different France's.

At Christmas, Ted would get Oliver a present of anything he could get. Usually a cooking book or some neon colored kitchen item. At Christmas, England and America would drink until they were drunker than hell and ended up getting back to safety with the help of Canada. On New Years day, Oliver, Ted, and Lucas would all celebrate it together. On New Years Day, England got drunk again and usually ended up in bed with France while America spent it getting drunk while playing video games and eating McDonald's.

Ted still said 'I love you' while America never did. Ted still called Oliver 'Mommy' or 'Mom' while America stopped calling England anything since the Boston Tea Party.

All in all, the two England's were totally different with one likeliness; they both missed the old days of happiness with their America and Canada.


~ Authors Note ~

I'm sorry it took so long to update, but I got occupied with my two other stories and two random one-shots.

The next few chapters will be of the countries and their two players, and all of their differences.