Author: TippierCoffee

Disclaimer: I do not own—nor do I claim the rights to—any of the characters from the show Codename: Kids Next Door. All credit goes to rightful owner: Mr. Tom Warburton.

Enjoy :)

Now loading: Operation S.E.X




In a small neighbourhood in Cleveland a lot of kids were playing around with water guns in the heat of the sun. The streets were filled with childish laughter while all of the kids just enjoyed themselves and the hot summer day. But at the top of the Uno's resident, standing tall and proud on a gigantic tree, was the tree house belong to sector V of the Kids Next Door, and inside it, Numbuhs one through five were currently gathered, discussing the events they had recently started noticing going on around them.

It all had started some time ago, on a day much like this, where sector V by accident had overheard something that had made their suspicion rise.

"And just remember teenager." Nigel had scoffed. "If you ever want to have your butt kicked again, you know where to find us." All other members of the team started cheering in agreement, before taking off and leaving the battered teen behind.

A successful mission all in all, and it hadn't taken that long to pin down the teen either. Then again, the tip about some newly recruited teen, who had never even been in—or heard of—the Kids Next Door was always worth checking out. Especially when said teen had been send to snoop around and listen in on kids planning for missions, or talking secretly about how to attack, or counter attack, the Ninja Teens.

Apparently this new recruit had overheard some pretty juicy information, believing it to just be some game the kids were playing, and although he had seemed confused about the whole ordeal, it hadn't stopped him from passing on the secrets he had heard. This was the only reason he had landed himself where he had now, because he had never before actively done anything harmful against the Kids Next Door, but now he was getting too close, and things were getting too risky, so sector V had been sent to rough him up a bit and let him know, that this 'game' of theirs, was a bit more serious than he thought.

"Man Numbuh one, that was amazing!" Wally shouted in excitement. "The look on his face after you told him he knew where to find us was priceless!"

"It really was, wasn't it?" Nigel agreed with a chuckle and a shake of his head. Being a part of the Kids Next Door was one of the best things to ever happen to him, and he was really glad he had taken this opportunity so many years ago.

"I don't know." Kuki sighed with a little pout. "I mean, he wasn't exactly mean to us."

"I know Numbuh three." Nigel retorted. "That doesn't change the fact he passed on valuable information."

"I know." She mumbled.

Nigel was just about to open his mouth again, to reassure her they were doing the right thing here, and she should stop feeling so guilty for it, when two teens came closer to them. One of them was a boy while the other was a girl, and they held tightly on to one another's hand and seemed to whisper secretly to each other. It looked rather suspicious, and Nigel knew immediately that they needed to find out what was going on.

"Quick, hide in here!" He hissed shoving his teammates into a bush and hoping the couple hadn't noticed them there.

He got his wish, and what was even better was that the couple stopped just in front of the bush they were hiding in. They were both facing each other and the boy was holding onto the girls hands softly, while looking at her with an affectionate, yet somewhat worried expression.

"I don't know Alex." The girl moaned. "I mean, sex is a big thing and it's not just something you do."

"I know Laura." Alex responded. "Which is why I asked. I mean, we've been together for a while now, and I kind of feel like we should take the next step and, you know, do it. But of course, I don't want to force you or anything. I just thought it was worth talking about."

Silence fell over the two of them while Nigel's mind was starting to work on high pressure, the gears spinning and turning, while he tried to figure out what exactly it was they were talking about. He held his breath and focused his hearing even more, and the rest of sector V seemed to do the same. Curious to find out what this so-called 'sex' was.

"Hmm…" Laura thought out loud, shuffling her feet. "Well, okay, we can do it. Just don't do it too fast okay, I've never done it before."

Nigel was starting to get irritated. Done it? Done what? What in the world were the two of them talking about? This definitely needed to be discussed at a later time.

In the tree house, Nigel paced back and forth a bit. His mind trying to focus. The others were on their way there, as he had just sounded the briefing alarm not so long ago. Numbuhs two through five came walking a long, not overly enthusiastic about having to talk about this thing, but it had to be done. They all sat down and waited for Nigel to start the meeting.

"Now. I'm sure we all know why we're here. We're here to find out what this so-called 'sex' could possibly be. I am thinking it must be another wicked plan those teens are constructing, the question just is, what exactly this plan consists of.

"We have all been trying to find some more information about this things in groups, and I alone. I would like us to share what we have found out. I'll go first." He went silent for a moment, and his stern tone changed to that of uncertainty while he stated kicking his toes softly together. "I… Eh, well… I haven't found anything." He admitted hanging his head low.

"Numbuh four and I heard someone talking about having sex, so maybe it's something you can eat?" Hoagie suggested, trying to cheer up his team leader.

"That makes no sense." Abby scolded. "I'm telling you, Numbuh three and myself heard more people saying it's something you have to do."

"So, it's not food?" Wally asked a bit confused, and a bit disappointed.

"Obviously not. You heard those two teenagers by the bush Numbuh one. I'm telling you it's something you have to do, but we haven't gotten any leads on what exactly this sex thing is or how it works." Abby scolded, while crossing her arms over her chest.

"Hmm…" Nigel put his thumb and index finger under his chin, deep in thought. "If it's something that need to be operated it must be some kind of weapon. But what?" He started pacing back and forth while the others followed him with their heads. A bit confused, but also a bit curious as to what his conclusion would be.

"Computer." Nigel demanded. "Look up the acronym S-E-X."

"Looking up the acronym." The computer's voice verified. "Searching. Searching. The acronym S-E-X, have one match."

"Show it to us." Nigel demanded.

"Sex. Strong Everlasting Xenon." They all let out a gasp of horror, almost as if it was a standard reaction.

"What the crud is xenon?!" Wally cried, raising his arms in the air with an annoyed expression.

"Fool!" Abby scolded, whacking him on the back of his head with her red cap. "Xenon is a chemical. Those teens must be building a chemical weapon strong enough to wipe out the entire earth!" Kuki gasped out loud in horror while Wally yelled out what?

"But. Why would they do that?" Hoagie asked in disbelief, his mouth agape.

"They wouldn't." Nigel exclaimed darkly, hitting a fist to his hand. "I bet you they probably wired it so it will only wipe out all the children of the earth." The members of sector V once again let out loud gasps, and Kuki started whimpering a little in fear.

"But. Without any children, there won't be a Kids Next Door." She cried.

"Exactly!" Nigel exclaimed, his voice dead serious and his eyebrows raised.

"Crud!" Wally cried, ferocity rising within him. "Now those cruddy teens have really done it. Next time I see one of 'em, I'm gonna shove my shoe up their butt."

"You know." Abby said wisely, fear sneaking into her voice. "Maybe we should go to the moon base and ask for backup."

"Negative Numbuh five. We'll go in alone." Nigel demanded.

"But. Isn't that dangerous?" Kuki whimpered, looking up to him with puppy-dog-eyes.

"Extremely. Which is why we have to take caution." Nigel said as he started to pace back and forth on the floor again. "We'll have to follow the two first teens who were talking about doing it, so we can find this weapon and destroy it from the inside."

"Wohoo! Now you're talking!" Wally cheered, knitting his fists while feeling his body fill up with adrenalin.

"I don't know Numbuh one." Hoagie chuckled nervously. "Maybe calling moon base isn't such a bad idea after all."

"Are you kidding me Numbuh two?" Nigel cried out, tossing his hands into the air while giving Hoagie an angry look. "Calling moon base will cause kids to panic work wide. We have to keep this knowledge to ourselves and act alone."

Darkness had befallen Cleveland when evening had turned to night. Sector V had used most of the day trying to find the two teens who were apparently supposed to do it. Kuki had been talking a bit about not going too hard on the girl if she actually helped to fire the weapon, since she had been a bit hesitant when the couple had stopped by the bush, but Nigel had insisted that they needed to punish any teen who were helping destroy kids. It wasn't important if they didn't exactly know what they were doing or why, what was important was to let them know they were doing something wrong.

The teenage couple had taken off in a car not too long ago and had parked it somewhere on top of a hill, almost exactly the same place where there had been the whole rollerskating thing going on a couple of years back.

"Figured they'd go back up here." Nigel whispered loudly. "This has one of the best views over Cleveland. Their weapon must be set to only affect in the neighbourhood they're firing from."

"Numbuh five still says we should 'a called for backup." Abby whispered.

"Why would we have to do that?" Wally grumbled. "There are two of them, and five of us. As if they have a cruddy chance, right Numbuh one?" Nigel nodded curtly, and they started walking towards the parked car, Nigel looking through a pair of binoculars.

"Whatever." Abby muttered. "Just don't come crying to me if you're blasted away by the weapon."

"Shh." Nigel hissed, focusing his binoculars. "They're getting into the backseat of the car. It looks like they're changing clothes in there."

"Maybe they're putting on some sort of ray proof suit?" Hoagie suggested.

"And if that's the case, then that means they will probably fire the weapon soon." Nigel concluded. "Come on team. We have to stop them."

Sector V started sneaking up on the car, their dark suits disguising them perfectly in the night. They breath so quietly, one would think they were actually holding their breaths, while they came closer and closer to the car. Nigel crawled in front of everyone, who now crouched on either side of him. Abby and Hoagie to his left, when he had his back turned, and Kuki and Wally to his right. He looked back to his team with serious eyes, hushing them with no sound. Then he put one hand on the door handle to the back of the car, and started counting down from three with his other hand.

Sector V readied their weapons, and swallowed hard. Some of them were starting to sweat while biting their lower lips in anticipation. Their hearts beat hard against their chests, and they all held their breath when Nigel came down to one finger, and opened the door.

"Freeze teens!" He screamed, while all of sector V rose with their weapons high in the air.

However their stern faces were quickly replaced with those of horror, as they and the teens started screaming in terror simultaneously. Sector V quickly turned on their heels, not caring much if they dropped their weapons or not, as they ran as fast as they could to the side of the hill—just where it was starting to descend. Behind them the guy started shouting profanities after them in an angry voice while the girl was crying, but luckily for them he didn't chase them.

"Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew!" Kuki cried, when they had finally reached the side of the hill. She was covering her eyes in disgust as if it could erase the sight she had just witnessed. And somewhere in the background Hoagie was either making barf noises, or actually throwing up.

"What the crud was that?!" Wally cried in disgust and disbelief, while tossing his hands into the air, his face pale and his eyes full of terror. One would almost think he had just seen a ghost, except seeing a ghost would have been much better than seeing what they actually saw.

"Numbuh five don't know, and she doesn't want to." Abby exclaimed with a loud voice full of disbelief.

"That was so disgusting!" Hoagie shivered, wiping his mouth. "Why would they sit in their underwear and kiss?"

"Fool! That thing had nothing to do with kissing." Abby scolded, trying to calm herself and forget she had ever seen anything. "I don't know what it was, but it sure as hell wasn't kissing!"

"Maybe… Maybe they need to do that to be protected from the weapon when it goes of?" Hoagie suggested, still trying to wash the image from his mind.

"Are you all blind?!" Nigel scolded, getting up with renewed determination. Sure; he hadn't enjoyed the sight either, but there were more important things than that. "Didn't you notice that pointy thing the guy had between his legs? That must have been the weapon!"

"Now I don't know about you Numbuh one, but Numbuh five was a little too busy gagging over them doing that whatever-it-was in their underwear, to notice anything else!" Abby cried while getting up. She just wanted to go home and forget about this ever happening.

"But what if every single teenage boy has that weapon between his legs Numbuh five?" Nigel scolded, pointing to where the car approximately was. "A date is the perfect excuse to be left unattended by parents so they can use it! We have to go back there and yank it out of his pants."

"Forget that crud!" Wally cried, making a quick gagging sound. "There is no way I'm going over to every single kissy-face-teen doing that to yank a weapon out of the guy's pants!"

"Numbuh five is with Numbuh four on this one." Abby confirmed, crossing her arms over her chest, while looking Nigel in the eyes. "I say we all forget about this whole sex thing and go home."

"But what about the million of kids who will be exposed to the rays?" Nigel hollered, tossing his arms wildly in front of him with an angry expression. Surely, Abby couldn't expect him to just forget about this thing?

"Listen Numbuh one." Abby said, trying to convince him. "If the teens really do have a chemical weapon, I'm telling ya: the government will handle it if it's ever fired."

"But the government are adults!" Nigel yelled in disbelief, getting angrier by the moment. "I bet you they are working together!"

"Look Numbuh one." Abby tried again. "I know you care about kids, we all do, that's why we're all in the Kids Next Door to begin with. But I'm telling ya: this is out of hands. Let's just go back home to the tree house and forget this sex thing even exists."

"I hear you on that one." Hoagie exclaimed, while the two of them started to walk away.

"Me too." Kuki agreed, following them.

"We're out 'a here." Wally sang, catching up to the others.

"But guys!" Nigel complained, hanging his body in utter disbelief. Didn't they understand this was serious?

"Hey kid!" The teenage boy yelled from above him, now standing in his clothes with an angry expression on his face and clenched fists. Nigel let out a scream got up as fast as he could.

"Wait for me you guys!" He cried out, running as fast as he could to get up to the side of his friends, leaving two angry and embarrassed teens behind.


You have no idea how much fun I had making this xD

Criticism and/or advices on improvements is/are highly appreciated and very welcome :)


A/N: I may need to point this out, in case other people have the same thoughts as OQ (you silly man *heart*): NONE OF THE TEENS ARE NAKED, THEY ARE BOTH IN UNDERWEAR. NIGEL ONLY SEES THE GUY BEING HARD IN HIS UNDERWEAR. Now you know.