"Now that we've got that sorted out, the fact remains that there were Dementors in my muggle neighbourhood," Harry said plainly, once he'd been cleared of the charges and before he could be dismissed. "And I can think of only three reasons they would be there. None of them are remotely comforting."
Before Fudge or the toad woman at his side could deny there being Dementors on Privet Drive, Amelia Bones spoke up.
"What reasons might those be, Mr Potter?" she asked.
"One, they've gone rogue all on their own. That is not a comforting thought," Harry answered.
"No, it most certainly isn't," Amelia agreed as a few other witches and wizards present paled at the very thought.
"Two, some wicked person has subverted the Ministry's control over the creatures and decided to send them after the Boy-Who-would frankly rather not be caught up in all of this," Harry continued, a thumb jerked towards his own chest. "And once the supposed 'saviour' is dead, what's to stop this wicked person from sending Dementors after other members of the public?"
"You raise several worrisome points, Mr Potter," Amelia acknowledged.
Those witches and wizards who weren't pale before, were now. Those that had been pale were starting to look a bit green.
"And the third reason?" Amelia asked. "You said you could think of three."
Harry nodded. "The third possibility is that someone in the Ministry abused their authority and sent dangerous creatures out to an essentially defenceless muggle neighbourhood. Possibly for the purpose of killing me, possibly in an effort to force me to use magic to defend myself so that I could be dragged in to court, where they would endeavour to have me metaphorically crucified," Harry said, and gave a significant Look at the gathered Wizengamot. "I honestly don't know which of these three scenarios is the most horrifying, but I think I should speak to a legal professional in any case."
"Mr Potter, may I ask why?" Dumbledore asked, shocked by the proclamation.
Harry shrugged. "Well, considering everything that's happened, I should probably make a will. My next of kin are all muggles. There would really be no point in their inheriting the wizarding gold my parents left me, would there?" he pointed out.
"Mr Potter," called a voice Harry didn't know, but oh he recognised that outfit. After Neville had forced a boggart-Snape into those clothes, there was no way he was ever going to forget them. It was Madame Longbottom. "The Longbottom family has an excellent retainer at law. I would be willing to offer his services to you."
"Thank you, Madame Longbottom," Harry answered, and bowed to her. "I most gratefully accept."
"Also, the DMLE will open an investigation into what two Dementors were doing away from Azkaban," Amelia Bones promised.
Harry bowed to Madame Bones as well, and then the Wizengamot was dismissed.