This chapter contains a pairing some of you might have an issue with, so be warned. Beth + Merle are cute together in the land of fanfic though :)

So I know Merle is dead, but I thought it'd be fun to post this anyways. Thanks for the nice response to my first chapter!

Name: Merle Dixon (righthandman)

Occuptation: Supreme Badass

Age: Age don't matter when you're this hot

Sex: Yes please

Hobbies: Meth, occasional Bible reading

About Me: I'm a tough as nails motherfucker, and don't you forget it. A guy with two hands couldn't fire a rifle with better aim than me.

What I'm Looking For: I'm a straight forward guy, basically I'm looking for a hot chick who can keep me warm at night. I prefer blondes. And I only have one hand, if you got a problem with that then keep walking. Lotsa things I can do with one hand though ;D

Favorite Quotation(s): "You called me a whore and a rag muncher" - Andrea Holden.


countrygirl: Gross.

righthandman: Ya got something to say?

countrygirl: I just did, dumbass.

righthandman: Which 'country girl' are you, the one who likes to sing or the one who's with Jackie Chan?

countrygirl: Doesn't matter, I'm not interested.

righthandman: If you're the blonde then you know where I am ;D

countrygirl: Like I said: gross.

Private Messages

Beth Greene (countrygirl) and Merle Dixon (righthandman)

countrygirl: Hi

countrygirl: Oops, wrong person, my bad.

countrygirl: Are you going to reply?

countrygirl: Hello?

righthandman: If you were so desperate for some of ol' Merle then you coulda just asked.

countrygirl: Don't know what you're talking about.

righthandman: I ain't up for playing games, little girl, you in or you out? I'm not always doing business but I'm always open ;D And I could show you a thing or two.

Private Messages

Beth Greene (countrygirl) and Maggie Greene (farmers_daughter)

countrygirl: I thought you said playing hard to get would be a good idea

farmers_daughter: Didn't it work?

countrygirl: I tried to wait until he replied but I got impatient and just kept on messaging him :L

farmers_daughter: You're hopeless. I thought Carl would be more than eager to talk to you anyways, don't know why you're going through all this effort.

countrygirl: Carl?

countrygirl: Oh right, yeah. Carl.

Private Messages

Beth Greene (countrygirl) and Merle Dixon (righthandman)

countrygirl: Okay fine, I like you okay?

righthandman: I thought you thought I was gross, Blondie. But no girl can resist the Dixon charm.

countrygirl: What charm?

righthandman: Don't play dumb, beautiful.

countrygirl: Do you like me?

righthandman: Can't say anything turns me on more than an sweet, warbling angel who knows how to handle a gun ;)

Beth Greene (countrygirl) and Merle Dixon (righthandman) are in a relationship.


carrrl: What?!

farmers_daughter: WHAT?!

righthandman: Hell yeah, motherfuckers.

countrygirl: Sorry Maggie

farmers_daughter: You wait til I tell daddy about this!

countrygirl: Not unless you want me to tell him that you and Glenn did it for the first time in a pharmacy when you barely knew each other!

farmers_daughter: Is this blackmail? :O

righthandman: I knew my little angel had a devilish side ;D

countrygirl: Maybe I could show you more of that side later tonight..?

farmers_daughter: Ugh take it somewhere else.

carrrl: Again: what?!

Private Messages

Daryl Dixon (crossbow) and Merle Dixon (righthandman)

crossbow: The fuck you messing about with Beth for?

righthandman: I ain't messing around, little brother.

righthandman: Why are you concerned anyways, you got a thing for her now? I thought you and Mouse were getting it on real good.

crossbow: Don't talk about Carol like that!

righthandman: Your precious Carol threatened to slit my throat in my sleep.

crossbow: Lol. I know.

righthandman: You don't have a problem with that?!

crossbow: Merle, we've all wanted to slit your throat.

righthandman: Ain't no one ever had the balls to say it to my face. Gotta admit it turned me on a little though.

crossbow: You mention Carol again and she won't have to slit your throat.

righthandman and countrygirl went on a date in the prison showers.

Dater's Response:

countrygirl: I thought you said you were going to show me 'a thing or two'?

righthandman: O.o

countrygirl: Nothing to say, huh? Seemed like you had a lot to say when you were begging me to carry on spanking you...

righthandman: If you tell anyone I'll just deny it.

countrygirl: Don't worry, it's our little secret. You're my bitch now.

*Throws Boondock Saints reference* - Catch!

In most of the Meth fanfics Merle is always the one who's in the power, I thought it'd be fun to give you a hint of Dominatrix Beth ;D Hehe, sorry if Meth doesn't float your ship! Special shout out to Athlete Girl who begged me for some Meth!

The next TWD Dating profile will be our favorite crossbow-wielding redneck's ;D