"So we're all in agreement then?" America asked at the G8 meeting. "Winner of this bet gets to skip the next confernence. That's one whole month where you guys don't have to speak with your worst enemies or bushy-brows."
"Wait!" England exclaimed, "They can't just skip a conference- And what was that about my eyebrows, you wanker?"
Italy raised his hand."Yes" America said. "Italy, you have a question?"
"Si, what do we have to do to win the bet?"
"That's a great question, Italy." The American paused for dramatic effect, his hands placed firmly on his hips as he did his best to meet eyes with every member of the G8, except for Russia. He'd tried to look into his eyes once and couldn't sleep for a week afterward. "The winner is to one who gets a date with Switzerland's sister!"
A gasp escaped the little Italian brunette, "Eh? But Switzerland's scary!"
"I know, right? That's why it's a bet."
England placed a hand on his head, sighing, "This is a dumb idea, America, as expected of you. What if we decided to dissolve, oh, Italy for instance, while Italy wasn't here to protest against it."
"Uh, I don't really want to skip conferences, anyway…" Germany breathed a sigh of relief. "Unless Germany wins. Then I'll ditch." Italy smiled like an angel. "Oh, and I'll be telling Spain that England threatened to dissolve Italy while I was away." Not just North Italy, but South Italy, too.
England stood up. "No! Don't say that to Spain! He'll try to kill me… not that I can't fight him off but I'd rather not have a psychotic former Matador on my hands." For a brief moment, England could picture himself running away from a bull with a swords wielding and maniacally grinning Spain riding it.
Not seeming to hear him, Italy skipped out of the room. Germany stood up too, "Bruder" He said to Prussia, who was playing Galaga on his iPhone, "Let's go see Spain."
Prussia sat up and beamed, "Awesome! He just blogged on his Twitter page that he was feeling lonely without Romano around, too. Messing with him is going to be so much fun!"
Germany sighed as they left the conference. "Sometimes I wonder if you two are really friends or not."
"Lonely?" France purred. He also got up to leave, though he fully planned on asking Switzerland's sister out on a date.
After the four left, America turned to Russia and said, "Just so you know, I blame you."
"I had nothing to do with their departure."
"Yeah, I know, but it's fun to blame you, anyway."
America departed next with an iron pipe and a crazy-haunted-American-strangling scarf on his heels.
There was a loud knock on Switzerland's door at around 2:00 in the morning. Switzerland grabbed his gun.
Then he opened the door to see France on his doorstep. Resisting the urge to shoot on sight, Switzerland asked France for what possible, conceivable reason he could be waiting at his doorstep.
"Why, mon ami," France answered with a flip of his luxurious hair. "I want to make sweet and passionate love to your little sister."
At three o'clock in the morning, there was another knock on Switzerland's door. The petite blond grabbed his gun again, and a grenade, just in case it was France again.
However, it wasn't France. It was England.
"Hello, Switzerland" England said as he sweat nervously under the collar. "I was hoping I could take Liechtenstein out for some tea- Why are you pointing a gun at me I haven't done anything wrong yet!"
"Get off" Switzerland growled, "of my lawn."
At four o'clock in the morning, America came to give it a shot. It was also around this point that Switzerland had begun contemplating the necessity of booby-trapping his front door. He hadn't quite gotten to it yet, but if one more person came to his door-
And that tears it. He's going to be putting a pressure bomb under his Not-Welcome mat.
Gun once again in hand; Switzerland opened his door a crack to see the grinning American.
America scratched the back of his head, then tried, "Listen, Dude, I don't want to date your sister" Switzerland relaxed minutely, lowering his gun until, "I just want to hang out with her. Just once."
"Is this for a bet?" asked Switzerland, readying his gun.
Bluntly, America answered in the affirmative.
"MY SISTER IS NOT SOME WHORE YOU CAN BET ON! I WILL KILL ALL OF YOU UNTIL YOU ARE DEAD!"
America ran for the second time that week with a homicidal maniac on his tail.
The last one to try dating Switzerland's sister was the awesome Prussia.
Grinning happily, Prussia walked up to Switzerland's house. His smile flickered a little when he stepped on the pressure switch, but he quickly brushed that little detail off and knocked on Switzerland's door… at 5 o'clock in the morning.
When Switzerland opened the door, Prussia ignored the shotgun jutted against his chin, and said, "The awesome me wants to awesomely date your sister!"
Switzerland pulled the trigger.
"Dude, you just tried to shoot me! I could have died!"
"That's the point."
Seeing that his awesome advances were going nowhere, Prussia decided to step off of the mat. In a rain of smoke, rock, and fire, Switzerland's door exploded.
'I HATE ALL OF YOU!"