People asked for a little more, so here it is. It's all done for sure now. I hope you enjoyed this hair-brained story. Don't forget to condition, and mind those uni-brows!

Chapter 2

When word got back to the sheriff that I'd identified a girl named Angela, top shelf, third head in, he brought me more pictures. "Can you tell me if you've seen these girls as well?" He held four pictures of bad-haired women. I wondered if Edward had been afraid their hair would attack him and just took an offensive position on the whole thing. Some of those people were pretty scary.

"I'm not sure. I only really took notice of the first one because of the highlights," I said pointing to my hair.

"I hate to ask this of you, but would you be willing to go in again and see if you can confirm whether he has the missing girls? He doesn't seem to want to kill you."

"Well, of course not. I'm a repeat customer with a standing appointment. He gets to do my hair over and over, because I come in regularly." I left out that I'd also kissed him, and despite his insanity, I really wanted him. I'd had a really long dry spell, and I'd felt that monster in his pants when we'd made out.

The sheriff looked at me like I was insane. I didn't think he'd ever heard of regularly scheduling appointments with a hairdresser who was good with your hair. If you found a good one, you had to make repeat appointments; otherwise, you'd never know what you'd get. You didn't want some rookie out of beauty school destroying your life…I meant hair.

I took the pictures from him. "I'll see what I can do."

The next morning, I was showering, when I realized I didn't have proper hair product to keep my highlights from fading. I decided not to shampoo it and went to Edward's to buy some. I really didn't think the stores around there carried any colorfast shampoo, or any shampoo, really.

I was surprised to find his shop door was unlocked, even though the sign said closed. "Edward, honey, are you around? I need product!"

He came rushing out of the back room and slid across the tile with a huge grin, "Product?"

"Yes, I don't have anything to hold my highlights in! I can't believe I forgot that."

He let out a sigh with a starry-eyed smile. "You're so wonderful." He took my hand in his and kissed it.

My whole body tingled, making me want more. I pulled him to me. "Are you being shy this morning?" I taunted, grinning salaciously.

He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me lightly.

I pouted when he stepped back, "That's all I get?"

He chuckled and kissed my cheek. "I have to flip over the open sign."

"Fine, I'll forgive you, if you shampoo me yourself."

He slapped my butt. "You got it."

I rushed over to his chair, hopping into it so fast that it spun around.

He chuckled at my enthusiasm and gathered my hair in his hands, before he leaned down and kissed my neck. I was dying for more. "Edward, can we…?" I moaned when he bit me lightly, and I forgot my thought.

"Can we what, baby? Do you want a facial?"

"Oh, that sounds nice, but…"

"But what?" he asked a little sharp.

"Would you be willing to treat my whole body?" I reached back and grabbed his thigh.

"So you do want the facial?" he sounded hopeful.

"If it comes with a very, very thorough body wrap package and massage, and I mean a very thorough massage, Edward. I don't want you missing one spot." I rubbed up his thigh, making my point very clear.

His lips hit mine with vigor, making my body hum. He pulled me out of the chair, back to the massage table I had scrubbed down the night before. He spread out fresh sheets and helped me up.

He was quick to wrap me up, disappointing me with the minimal massage. "Promise me you'll rub me down once I'm unwrapped?"

"Of course, you'll need your body loosened up after laying here unmoving for half an hour. Just relax, baby. I'll take care of all your needs."

I moaned like a hussy. He turned on some soft classical music and gently massaged my face, giving me a quick kiss, before he slathered it with face cream. He set the cucumbers in place lightly. "I'll be back shortly." I could smell the sweet aroma of scented candles and did my best to relax.

He finally returned and unwrapped me painfully slowly. "You're gonna rub me down now, right?" I begged.

He kissed above my breast and nodded yes. I grabbed his shirt, tugging on it. "Take it off."

He complied quickly, and I didn't have to ask twice when I reached for his pants. "Slow down, baby. I still have work to do on you."

I pouted, nearly in tears, but they turned to moans, as he started working on my body. His hands were magic, as he rubbed me up and down. He finally kissed my lips, and I wove my hands in to his fluffy hair. "Please, taste my skin, to make sure the wrap was balanced evenly."

He leaned back, looking insulted for all of two seconds. "I think I need you to check here, and here," I pointed to my breasts, and then I pointed to my pussy, "and I definitely need you to check here, thoroughly. It's feeling a little tight. Do you mind massaging it?"

He caught on to my game quickly, climbing onto the table. My breasts were well moisturized by his lips, and my pussy was massaged with his tongue. I was screaming out in pleasure, and I wondered momentarily if the townspeople thought he was killing me.

"Please, I need you inside me," I begged.

"I can't."

"YOU CAN'T?" It was my turn to snap.

He scooped me off the table. "The table won't be able to handle the rocking."

"Oh, okay." I could understand that. "The chair," I ordered pointing out the door. "I'm riding you like you're my little pony."

He kicked my jeans on accident, knocking the pictures out of the pocket. He looked down, his brow furrowed. "Why do you have those?"

I grabbed his dick, "Talk later, sex now."

He tilted his head at me with a sweet smirk, "Sounds good."

I rode him hard and didn't let him up until he talked dirty to me, and I was talking about how proper shampooing could eradicate dandruff from the face of the earth. I responded with a little dirty talking myself, asking about Brazilian waxing. That had him hard for a second ride.

I finally snuggled into his chest a sweaty, sticky mess. He was twirling a few strands of my hair in his fingers. "So, tell me about the pictures."

I leaned up, kissing him lightly. "The sheriff gave them to me; he wanted me to check if you had them in your closet."

His brow started to furrow.

"If they are, I can only imagine it was in self-defense. That hair was scary. How could you even go near it? I'd have been afraid it would attack me."

"I have been bitten by more than one creature."

"Jesus, Edward, we've got to do something. That's disgusting. We have to find a way to get people to come into your shop on their own." I kissed the bite mark he showed me on his finger. "They can't damage your magic fingers, sweetheart. I need them."

I stretched my well-worked muscles and picked up the pictures from the floor. I felt Edward looming behind me as I opened the closet door. I tried to match the pictures to the heads, but couldn't. I spun around and found Edward there with a long old-fashioned straight razor. A shiver ran down my spine, and I brushed it off. "Edward, I don't see them." I held up the pictures for him. "Did you get these girls?"

He set the blade down and snatched the pictures from my hand. He carefully placed them each in front of a head. They looked nothing alike. I gazed up at him in awe. "I've never seen more amazing before and after pictures. Oh, my god, honey, you're brilliant." I picked up a bearded brown-haired woman's photo. Her uni-brow had been fixed, her face cleared and polished. "She looks so beautiful. How can they not see how wonderful you are? The shaping of her eyebrows and the facial you gave her make her look like she's a completely different woman." I grabbed his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. "I'm such a bad girl, getting myself all messy. I think you need to clean me up again. Do you think you're up for it?"

"I think your whole body is in need of a good washing, baby. Do you want me to wash you?"

"Will you be washing yourself? Can I watch you wash yourself?"

He pulled me up some stairs to a little apartment. His shower was huge, and we thoroughly enjoyed it. He towel dried me with expert precision, and I snuggled up with him on his bed.

"So, are you going to tell them I have the girls?"

"Does it matter? What's done is done, and honestly, it's a shame to hide your talent. Edward, they have to know how wonderful you are. If you like dead people, then maybe do side work for the mortuary, but I think what we really need to focus on is getting people in here to get their beauty needs taken care of regularly. I just know if they see how talented you are, they'll come back over and over. They have to recognize the treasure they have in you."

"You speak with such passion."

I blushed, "You make me feel passionate, and beautiful. Everyone deserves to feel beautiful." Then I narrowed my eyes at him. "You'd better not be making anyone else feel that beautiful. I'm the only one who gets that extra massage," I poked him in the chest.

He grinned, grabbing my hand and kissed my finger. "I'll only ever give you the works, baby. I promise."

That night, we grabbed a woman off the street, and I helped prep and clean her, so Edward could work his magic. When he lifted his straight razor, I shook my head no at him and handed him the clippers. He pouted, but got to work clearing all the extra facial hair. There were actually rodents in her hair, making me scream and jump up on the counter when they came running out. Edward thought it was funny and quickly disposed of them. The woman tied to the chair tried to plead for me to let her go through her gag, but that wasn't going to happen. She needed some serious help.

When she was finally plucked, waxed, buffed, beautified, and her hair done to perfection, I finally let her up after showing her herself in the mirror. "See, didn't he do a wonderful job? As long as you walk in here on your own from now on, you'll be walking out. Don't let us catch you neglecting your hygiene," I warned.

She ran out of the building, and Edward frowned. "Just give it time, honey. We have a few more women to catch."

It was just after our fourth catch and release that the sheriff walked in. "Ms. Swan, Mr. Masen, I've seen some nice things roaming the streets, and I'm hearing some good stuff." He rubbed his hand through his shaggy, sweaty hair, and I saw Edward cringe.

"Yes, Edward and I have made it our goal to make the whole town look more beautiful." I looked to Edward for confirmation, but his fingers were fondling the sheers he kept in his belt. I knew I had to do something quick. "In fact, we'd like to offer you a shampoo and cut as well."

Edward perked right up and hurried over to his seat, waving the sheriff over. I tried to give the sheriff a reassuring smile, but it might have come off as a little morbid. Edward got right to work shampooing the man's hair. The way he massaged a scalp was heaven, and I could tell by the moaning from the sheriff that he agreed.

Edward was a whirlwind when he worked. He was all over, not just hair, but face as well. I gagged a little when he trimmed the nose and ear hair off the sheriff, and I had to take the straight razor and give him the safe one to shave him clean. I didn't trust Edward with that razor in his hand. I wasn't stupid. My boyfriend was unhinged and killed on occasion, but I had a feeling I could fix that with the cooperation of the townspeople. We all had our quirks after all.

When the sheriff finally took a look at himself, he let out a laugh. "Well, I'll be! I look ten years younger." He did a little hop and then turned to us smiling. "Mrs. Platt used to be quite a looker; do you think you could do something with her? I'd really like to have a go at her cleaned up."

"Sure thing, Sheriff Cullen, would you like us to pick her up, or will you be sending her in yourself?"

"I'll send her in."

The sheriff was right. Esme Platt was a beautiful woman. I became a little jealous, when Edward seemed to be paying extra attention to her. He finally released her, and I confronted him. "What was that about?"


"You and your lobe rubbing, then you wax her? All of her?" I shoved him back, making him fall across the stairs. "You're mine, Edward Masen! Don't think I didn't notice your smile when she started moaning in pleasure during her shampoo!"

"I was just cleaning her up for the sheriff, baby. She meant nothing to me."

"Nothing? Do I mean nothing, too? You waxed her underarms. You've never waxed mine!" I hadn't even realized I'd picked up the straight razor, until he grabbed my hand.

"Baby, settle down. I take care of you in the shower. I don't need to do the heavy stuff on you, because you're a natural beauty."

"Natural," I scoffed.

He pried the razor from my hand. "If you asked, I'd never shampoo another living woman again."

"No, you'd just kill them and cheat on me that way! You know what I do to cheaters? I take more than a straight razor to them, Edward. I grew up in a butcher shop. Guess what my job was?"

He gulped and my grin widened.

"You don't ever smile while you work again, or I'm making sausage for dinner."

"Bella, please, I just wanted to make her nice for the sheriff. I didn't want her. I only want you. I love being a beautician, please let me smile," he begged.

"Don't lie to me!"

"I'm not, and I can prove it."

My chest was heaving from crying. I nodded yes, unable to speak.

"Baby," he pulled a ring box out of his pocket, "Bella 'The Butcher' Swan, I promise to never hurt you. I know what happens to the men who do. I've admired your work in online news feeds." He wore a proud grin. "Marry me, baby. You know I'd never cross you. You're my favorite Brazilian wax. You're the only one who truly understands me and appreciates me. I swear never to take that for granted. You once called me a treasure, but it's you who is the treasure. So, please, baby, say yes. "

I nodded yes and jumped in his lap, kissing him madly. "You really want to marry me?"

"Yes," he answered low and husky. He helped me slide the ring into place and then kissed me wildly. I knew he wouldn't cross me. He knew me as "The Butcher" and still wanted to marry me. There was no fear in his eyes, just excitement. I was his, and I knew he'd forever be mine…even if I had to store him in the freezer.

The End

A/N: Now it's officially over.