A/N: Lots of spoilers! Seriously, do not read if you haven't finished The Revenge of Seven.
Also, oh my god, I know that technically this is cheating because a) it's not using a prompt and b) this isn't even an odd numbered chapter, but I just had to write this.
Chapter Title: the bitter taste of truth
Summary: Their story is one giant what-could've-been.
They wonder what she does, locked up in her room.
To tell you the truth, she does nothing. She reminisces, she relives the past. Maybe it's unhealthy, but it makes her feel something, if only for a moment.
She goes back to that time.
And for a little while, everything is just perfect.
His eyes, rich with the secrets of their home-world, but for a moment completely and totally his, crushed emerald and all. That smile, ever-so-slightly teasing, with an affectionate twist. Utterly sincere, as if he too knew how little time they had left.
And then she asks, "Can I kiss you?" Like she's only seven, and not almost an adult. Like she doesn't save the world and avoid death on a daily basis.
But then they do, and it's like the birds are singing and the stars are whirling and even the earth itself approves.
Even that doesn't prevent his death.
And this time, she knows it's forever. Of course, she hadn't counted on this little reunion, but at least she had his essence guiding her, whispering in her ear, comforting her with his presence. She knew it couldn't have been nothing. But now? He's gone. She pretends to feel him in her heart but it's nothing compared to what she had before.
She's lost him again, and the utter lack of fairness catches up with her and steals her breath away. All she wants to do is stamp her feet and shout about how unfair this is, how they could've had everything, how they would've been perfect. She wants to rage and punch something and hell, she'd even be okay with the world burning down, because life is so fucking unfair.
Or, at the very least, he could have stayed dead, so she wouldn't have had to experience this loss so keenly, not for a second time.
And she's ashamed for even wanting that, but it's true, because she's been reminded yet again of how much she's lost, now that he's gone. She hasn't just lost a friend, a fellow Garde, she's lost her soul mate. Somewhere deep down, she knew that he had a piece of her.
When she returns to reality, she's always a little surprised at how much crying she does. The struggle to breathe, the cascade of tears, ice against her already freezing skin. She'd cry an entire ocean, if she didn't think about how unfair life is and let the anger heat her up.
Just because they've saved the world doesn't mean everything's okay. The presence of Lorien is not enough to compensate for his death; nothing is or will be enough. It's selfish, but she can't help it, because she knows that they would've been perfect. She saw it in that instant, when they touched. It was so real – for a moment, she saw their future together, basking in the light of the sun and the warmth of a flourishing world that they helped shape – but she has nothing now. Nothing but memories and loss and the bitter taste of her tears.
Maybe, just maybe, some day she will forget about it, and the wounds will heal, and she will be okay.
But not today.