Well, to start off, I guess I should tell you the basics. My name is Peeta Mellark, I am twenty-two years old, and four years ago I made the biggest mistake of my life. Very few people know what it's like to fuck up so bad that you are absolutley sure that if things went the way they were supposed to without your emotions getting in the way, you would be much happier than you are at this moment.
The moment as you sit on your couch, just praying that something will change or that a time machine would fall from the sky and you would be able to leave your shitty life and start all over again.
I am doing somthing along those lines.
As of now, I am just sitting on my crappy brown couch, in my mostly empty living room, trying my best to annoy the crap out of my neighbors. How, you ask? I'm groaning loudly every thirty seconds in the hopes that they will kick me out before my lease is over. I shake my head and stand up and walk over to the fridge. I find it strange that I could be living in California with Finnick and Annie still, if only I happened to lose my hearing. If you do the math, it's obvious when you put together two newly engaged teenagers and their own room. It was too bad that they never happened to think about my spot in the equation.
What I happened to be was the lonely roomate that was completly depressed because he happened to lose the only girl he would ever like because he turned into a complete jackass when she tried to apoligize. That was quite the run on sentence... But anyways, that happened to be the entire description of me at that time. Though it is still the entire description, depressingly enough... I never told them that was the reason that I had left, I mean, what kind of friend would that. And not only would I ruin Annie's impression of me, but Finnick would laugh until he curled up onto the floor and died.
Sadly, I'm not joking.
Huffing I ran my fingers through my hair and tugged open the fridge, empty...What a surprise...
Sighing in exasperation I shuffle my feet across the carpet and make my way to my winter boots placed in a not so neatly way by the door and the coat rack. Tugging the socks out of the footwear I dress my feet and yank on my winter coat. I stomp my way down the hallway and make sure I "accidently" kick my neighbor's door, the guy is about my age except he actually goes to college, leading in him having raging parties all night long and have about three to four rounds a week. The guy is a total jackass.
After I kick his door I yell out an exaggerated 'oops' and smirk as I keep making my way down the hall. It's a good thing I locked my door before I left.
I blow a peice of hair out of my line of vision and walking into the safe and warm haven called the supermarket. "Hey Gabby!" I call to the girl that works at the first register, she waves at me as I make my way by her. She happens to go to college as well as the asshole that lives next to me, but she doesn't act like a huge slut like most college girls do. She wears a large pair of glasses and has a large amount of dark brown freckles spread around her nose and cheeks. Her hair is curly brown, but it's the type that can only be smooth if you straighten half to death. I only know this because Annie often blathered to me about this kind of crap while I would be half listening and half watching Breaking Bad.
Honestly, I don't understand how I am even able to remember what she had said, I guess my memory is just that great, lucky me... One thing that I have to admit that I hate the most, is the choice to not go to college. All thanks to her I fucked up my entire life. During my depression I refused to fill out any applications for any colleges. I could have easily gotten into any one of them, but now I have really no options, since I said no to my father over and over again he refuses to pay my tuition like he was going to.
Insisting, "I thought you didn't want to go to college." Then he would simply hang up on me, but most of the time he would just hang up when ever I tried to bring the subject up. Delly had been excepted to some college in Florida and was studying to be a doctor. Lucky her... She hadn't fallen in love with a girl that was too messed up in the head to love anyone. I roll my eyes and sigh, I can't not go two seconds without wallowing in self-pity.
After making my rounds around the store, I leave, go home, leave again and head to the local coffee shop. Clove told me she was in Boston because of Christmas in two weeks and I just rolled my eyes, This year she is going to bring Cato along with her. Apparently he isn't as coocoo as before and is able to function properly without threatening or punching people at least five times a day. Trying to feel happy for him and her isn't easy, I'm pretty sure you can guess why...
Running my fingers through my hair I wave at a hobo who happens to stand on the right side of that coffee shop almost everyday. We're pretty good friends if I do say so myself, mainly because I slip him a dollar bill whenever I can. Let's just say I'm his valued customer, or whatever. To be honest; I try not to care as much as I do.
But, I have to say that I have made at least one or two actual friends during my time living down here, or up here, because Boston, Massachusets happens to be close to the top but let's stop with the formalities.
One of those two friends is a guy named Harris who has electric blue hair (obviously dyed) and had multiple peircings on his face. The other is a guy I met through Harris, named Boggs, Boggs is a cool guy, serious most of the time but after a few drinks he can make you laugh until your voice box blows. It's as the saying goes, quality over quantity.
Steeping through the glass door of the coffee shop heat instantly over whelms me, but don't you worry, I am welcoming it with all I've got. I shrug off my coat and throw it on a seat of a booth and instantly plop down with it. So many happy memories of sitting here with absolutley no one. I grin cheesily and toy with my phone until I hear someone sit down across from me. The distinct sound of leather against leather, resulting in a fart sound. I hide my childish smile and look up, ready to question why Clove is wearing leather pants, when I see that Clove isn't the one weariung leather pants, nor is she alone.
I instantly frown and slouch in my seat. Clove rolls her eyes at me, "Peeta, you remember Cato." she states simply. I scoff, "Yeah, I know him real fucking well."
Cato just tries to not say anything, I can only tell because his fists are clenched and the table seems like it's a bit shorter than usual, probably because he's pressing too hard down onto it. "Okay, dumb thing to say. Maybe I should have said, 'Hey Peeta, I know you're poor as shit and are only living here because you're a coward! So how's life?'." I let out an exasperated sigh and just shake my head.
"Fine, sorry, I get it, I'm an asshole." I tell her defeatedly, she smirks and I just sneer. Her short black hair is tied up in a ponytail, resulting in most of it not actually being in the pony tail, she wears a leather jacket I got at a thrift store a few years ago and gave to her as a Christmas present, and jeans. I turn to Cato and ask, "Why on Earth are you wearing leather pants?" I say with a chuckle, he glares at me with those ice blue eyes I used to be so terrified of.
"A matter of fact, they trap in my body heat. And you're one to talk, you happen to be wearing clothes that look like they haven't been washed in weeks." he replies. I just flip him off and stuff my phone in my pocket before I crush it...Goddamn shitty flip phones...
I crack my knuckles to ease the tense feeling welling within them before asking the million dollar question, "Is Katniss still in California?" they both blink at me. Shocked. I nearly blush, it would be fine if we were outside I would have an excuse but I don't now that I'm in the warmth of the coffee shop. Cato is surprisingly the first to clear his throat and mumble his answer.
"I asked everyone I knew in school, they say that haven't seen her since after the graduation ceremony..." I blink back tears at the statement. No one knows where she is, I absolutley cannot believe it. She could be dead... After what I said to her... She looked so broken that night and I didn't even care. I realized what she had meant by the physical pain she had been feeling as well, she had been hurting herself. "Um... Some people said they also hadn't seen Glimmer since then as well, they were pretty close on that day, I mean, maybe if we could figure out where Glimmer I-" Clove is cut off by Cato.
"Mellark, your place, now. I don't feel comfortable talking about this in public." he says. Clove and I nod at each other and we all leave and I am so goddamn happy that Clove has a car.
OMG! SHE'S ALIVE!
I know, I know, I'm a horid person and I am as sorry as I can be. But guys... Freaking homework, my scary ass teacher, oral presentations every week! OMG! I hate it! I really REALLY do! I have missed talkign to you guys so much and yes, this is what it is, I hope you guys aren't too dissapointed, my mind has been overflowing with possibilities for all kinds of Fiction Press, I'm losing my obsession with the Hunger Games!
No, I'm not quitting, I can't say that I won't at a later time though. But, let's make a quick deal, if I try my hardest to up to five paragraphs a night, will you guys try your best to be patient? Okey-Dokey! I hope this wasn't too bad, but...
POOR PEETA! TALK ABOUT DEPRESSING! OMG! I'M SORRY!
But maybe I went a little over board with his attitude change, but don't worry, it's just the lack of Katniss getting to him. Don't you worry, I'll fix things up right quick! Love you all! So much LOVE!