A/N: Okay, this is my first fic in almost 10 years? My writing is very rusty and it's completely un-beta'd. But I wrote this because I felt like writing it, so i'll be very glad if you like it, and i'll welcome any constructive feedback, but I don't do this as a career and so please don't expect much, haha.
I know Haru is usually a very determined and strong person, but whenever I imagine the two of them ever doing anything, I can never imagine Haru initiating it, only because he's so socially awkward and water-focused that when it comes to things like sex, more than any other teenager he'd be totally out of his depth (pardon the pun).
Plus, I think I just have a thing for ukes. =3
There were many things you could say about Haru. He was a very unique individual, even if you disregarded his strange attraction to water and swimming or artistic prowess.
However, more often than not, thought Makoto with a resigned disappointment, 'emotional' was not a term that corresponded well to Nanase Haruka.
It wasn't as if he was completely unfeeling. Although he could easily come across as cold and aloof to his classmates, Makoto had always taken a certain kind of pride from the fact that he knew Haru better than anyone, and was quite adept at reading Haru's feelings even from the smallest and most subtle signs. He knew that his sentiment didn't always translate well to other people, and had become completely fluent in Haru-language, interpreting where words had been necessary for others to decipher his friends mannerisms.
Makoto also knew that Haru was secretly very fond of their little group of even knew that he himself was important to Haru; they'd been together for as long as he could remember. Since he'd started living alone, Makoto had taken it upon himself to never let Haru feel too lonely and so had even included him in his own family, making him a extended member of the Tachibanas. He shared everything with Haru, from his thoughts and feelings right down to his soda-flavoured popsicles.
No, he knew Haru wasn't un-emotional underneath it all. It's just that Makoto sometimes caught himself wishing that Haru could be a bit more emotional.
For some reason, he'd always wanted to see him show more than just a slight semblance of emotion. He knew the feelings were there, he just wanted to see Haru show it more openly. Obviously, he'd never wished for him to feel upset or angry, but recently Makoto had more and more frequently wanted to see Haru... flustered. He wanted to see an unguarded Haru; a vulnerable Haru.
He'd always valued the dark-haired boy more than anyone else, other than the members of his family. He knew a long time ago that his feelings for Haru ran deeper than that of best friend or brotherhood; Makoto simply couldn't imagine a future without Haru in it. As he started to reach puberty, he'd never really thought about being interested in girls. Everything had always been Haru. He wanted to share everything with Haru. He needed him on a level that he was pretty sure would be unrequited, not that he'd ever had the courage to ask.
So naturally he had realized by now that his intentions in wanting to see a more vulnerable, emotional side of his friend were not exactly... pure.
No, Makoto had realised by now that there was a very specific type of emotion he wanted to see from Haru.
Makoto knew Haru was very proactive when it came to things he wanted; water, mackerel, swimming. Stripping down in public and in broad daylight at the mere sight of a body of water had proved that he had no qualms about what people thought of him. In Makotos dreams he'd seen it a thousand times; his flushed, determined face framed by sticky dark hair and bruised, pink, panting lips hovering erotically above him. So many nights had been spent waking from fervent dreams that had haunted him into his days, where he spent hours sneakily stealing glances at Haru in class. Staring subtly at his friend emerging from the pool and offering his hand, just to have a legitimate excuse to touch his damp skin. If Haru had ever had those kind of urges, Makoto was pretty sure he would have just dealt with it in the same resolute way. They'd never really talked about things like that even though they were so close, which had left Makoto curious as to whether Haru had even thought about it. Did Haru have someone he found attractive? Could it ever be him that would Haru on? He wanted to see Haru wanting, desperate and well... quite frankly, he'd always wanted to see what he was like when he was horny.
They walked back from practice in silence, the sky having turned a deep blue by the time Gou had finished her announcement of their new training regimen. Since it was turning
colder now, they had to shorten the amount of time they spent in the pool, which meant that their practice time would more than likely be spent working out inside more frequently. Haru never liked this time of year; although he liked to push it sometimes, even he had a modest sense of self-preservation. Especially after the last time he'd tried swimming at an inappropriate time of year.
Makoto had planned to spend the night at Haru's since his parents had taken Ren and Ran to see family in Tokyo. As big of a guy as Makoto was, he was the same scaredy-cat he always was and wasn't keen on staying at home alone overnight. He'd always admired how Haru could live on his own and not be afraid of sleeping in a dark house by himself every night; having a big family meant Makoto had always had at least someone there with him, even if they were all asleep.
However, staying with Haru brought up its own set of problems. The way Makoto felt towards Haru meant that whenever they spent the night at each others houses, he'd spend the whole evening thinking about doing something while knowing he couldn't, and working himself up so much that when it came to sleeping, he was far too awake. The closeness of their relationship did nothing to help Makoto either; they'd always shared a bed ever since they were little and Haru had no problems with continuing that tradition even now. The proximity of their bodies at night coupled with Makotos raging hormones and dirty thoughts about his best friend usually resulted in having to hide his sluggishness the next day, having gotten absolutely no sleep at all. He'd thought about just not staying with Haru so much, but the thought of spending time with Haru was much more preferable than getting his sleep.
After they'd eaten and finished their homework, Makoto found a video game to occupy himself with while Haru (predictably) went for a bath. An hour later he emerged, dripping and shirtless, and Makoto quickly ducked into the bathroom to take his own bath like usual. He hated that he was becoming such a cliche'd horny teenager, and especially over his best friend whom he genuinely had deeper feelings for. It was becoming more and more difficult for Makoto to hide it though, especially when Haru seemed to be really quite okay with walking around half-naked like that.
Half an hour later, feeling more relaxed, Makoto returned to Haru's room, relieved to see that the other boy had found a T-Shirt. Drying his hair quickly, he dropped the wet towel into the wicker laundry hamper by Haru's bedroom door before taking a seat on the edge of the bed, gearing up for their usual round of Haru-beating-Makoto-at-video-games.
"Hm?" Makoto turned to face Haru, not quite expecting him to be staring so openly at him. Slightly surprised, he gave a tilt of his head and his usual soft smile. "What is it, Haru-chan?"
He should have known this was a serious talk when Haru let the pet name slide. Haru merely narrowed his eyes and continued.
"Is there something wrong?"
Makoto blinked cluelessly at him. Of course, there were certain issues that Makoto had indeed been having, but he thought he'd been pretty good at hiding them... right?
"You've been acting strange lately." Haru pressed, his stare boring into Makotos intensely. It made him uneasy.
"Strange? How so...?"
"You've been staring at me."
Of course, Makoto thought bitterly. I should have known better than to think I could hide anything from him.
Inside, Makoto wasn't sure whether what he felt was panic or excitement. He knew there was no point explaining himself; if Haru had seen through him already when he was trying so hard to hide it, he knew he wasn't going to get anything past him now. Realistically, he knew he should be very worried right now. Usually, if you caught your best friend staring at you all the time, surely you'd be freaked out, right? However, Makoto's reasoning seemed to have gone out the window. He knows... right? If he knows, then isn't he freaked out? What have you got to lose?
The seconds ticked by slowly as Makoto's thoughts raced around in his head. The more Makoto thought about it, the more his logic and reasoning seemed to dissipate. Should I even try to hide it? This is Haru... he wouldn't let something like this ruin our friendship, right? Haru was still staring at him, questioning with his eyes rather than with his words. They were best friends, weren't they? Haru wanted to know what was wrong. If Makoto just told him, they could work through it. He hated trying to hide anything from Haru and it seemed that even though he could try, Haru would always see through it in the end. And after all, Makoto had never really decided not to tell him. Honestly, he'd never even thought about what plan of action to take.
Haru, seemingly thinking that Makoto needed more pressure to answer, opened his mouth to speak again.
"Have I done something wro- MMPFF!"
His sentence was cut off midway by Makoto's hastily chosen plan of action. Keeping his eyes open, Makoto could see the surprise in Haru's eyes. He didn't protest, though Makoto thought he was probably too shocked to react just yet anyway. Hell, Makoto had shocked himself.
He didn't linger on Haru's lips for very long and when he broke away, forcing himself to hold Haru's gaze, he could see that Makoto kissing him was the last thing Haru had expected. His eyes were wide with shock, his mouth still slightly parted, frozen in place. Even though he'd just bared his feelings to his best friend and risked their relationship already, beneath the worry and panic Makoto took a perverse pleasure in noting the look of complete surprise on Haru's face. He'd never seen him so shocked.
"M-Makoto..."Haru seemed to struggle for words, more than usual. Deep red had started to stain his cheeks and colour his ears, which Makoto found absolutely adorable. It was almost worth risking their friendship to see these new reactions from Haru. Blood pumped around his ears, as his thoughts became increasingly a chance, he reached up to place a hand around the back of Haru's neck, pulling him forward slowly, giving him time to pull away.
"Wait... what... you- what are you-"Again, he was cut off with a kiss. This time, Makoto closed his eyes, wanting to savour this. If Haru decided he didn't like this, then Makoto wanted to at least remember the feeling of the lips beneath his own right now. He would never do anything Haru didn't want, and if it meant getting over him after this, then at least with this he could have some kind of closure.
Haru wasn't pulling away. Taking it as a sign that it was okay, Makoto skimmed his tongue along Haru's bottom lip, earning a nervous 'mmph!' from him. He slipped his tongue into Haru's mouth, and kissed slowly, deeply. It wasn't as if Makoto had much experience, but what he was doing felt amazing, so he figured he must be doing okay.
Slowly, carefully, Makoto felt timid hands circle his neck and squeeze, pulling Makoto slightly closer. Happy to oblige, Makoto kissed as deeply as he could, before having to break away for air. He backed away, panting softly and smiling. Haru was breathing just as deeply, his eyes still slightly confused, but hazier.
"Haru-chan,"Makoto's voice was breathy still. "Is this okay?"
Haru's face was still burning a bright red as he tilted it to the side, his features curling into a grumpy pout as it usually did when he was was embarrassed. Makoto had dreamt Haru completely wrong; he had no idea Haru could be this shy, this cute. He's always thought that Haru would be demanding in this type of situation; dominant.
"Asking me that... you already kissed me twice."Haru replied almost petulantly, his hands still circling Makoto's neck.
"Then it's okay to do it again?"
Haru's face got considerably grumpier, if that were possible, and somehow his blush deepened. Makoto couldn't help but break out into an enormous grin.
"Yes." he mumbled, almost inaudibly. Makoto's insides practically did a somersault. Why had he never seen this side of Haru before? This adorable, naïve, nervous Haru that allowed Makoto to touch him this way. The Haru that seemed to like Makoto touching him this way.
The larger boy quickly obliged and soon they were kissing deeply again. Neither of them really knew what they were doing and a couple of times there were the awkward teeth-clinking and nose-bumping issues associated with normal first kisses. To Makoto however, it was more than he could have even imagined a few hours ago.
He had no idea how long they spent just kissing; Haru's hands were too shy to move anywhere but the back of his neck and Makoto was unsure of how far he could go with this. He decided to test how receptive Haru would be by slowly running his fingers down his body, brushing lightly on his nipple through the fabric and earning another 'mmphh' as Haru jumped slightly, surprised. Feeling bold, Makoto didn't stop his caressing, and carefully reached down to the hem of Haru's T-Shirt, brushing against the skin just underneath. Another breathy, almost voiceless moan came from Haru again, which went straight to Makoto's belly, causing him to let out a pinched moan of his own. The small, shy sounds that Haru was making were driving him crazy.
Freeing his lips from Haru's, he went straight for the smaller boy's neck. It seemed he'd hit a sensitive spot; Haru gasped, then immediately clasped a hand to his mouth to muffle the noise. Smirking, Makoto continued to kiss around and along Haru's jaw, revelling in the muffled gasps coming from his mouth.
"Ma-Makoto"Haru breathed, grasping his mouth as tight as he could to try and stop himself making noise. It wasn't as if they needed to keep the noise down; after all Haru lived alone and his neighbors wouldn't have heard anything from so far away. Makoto realized that Haru was probably embarrassed by them, which in turn made Makoto strangely happy. Usually, trying to get two words out of Haru was a difficult task in and of itself. Now it seemed that even the quiet boy himself was finding it hard to shut himself up.
"Mako..."Haru's voice seemed strained; his breaths coming out short and fast. "Um... I..."
Sensing that Haru may be wavering, Makoto straightened up, his eyes glazed and cheeks and lips flushed, but ready to stop if the other boy wanted to.
"What is it, Haru? Do you want to stop?"
Haru, still panting slightly, shook his head. He turned his head to the side again, avoiding staring into jade green eyes and mumbled.
"No. It's... not enough."
Makoto's eyes widened. Haru, although looking adorable with his flushed face and grumpy expression, had a determined glint in his eyes that sent Makoto's belly tingling. This was the Haru he'd wanted to see. A wanting Haru. A needy Haru. A horny Haru.
"Haru... are you saying-"
"Makoto."Haru urged more firmly this time, and to the larger boy's surprise, actually rolled his hips. Makoto felt the stirrings in his lower half, making him squeeze his legs together unintentionally in anticipation. "I... want you to... do more."
Haru's lowered voice sent shivers through Makotos spine, and without hesitation he ran his hand underneath Haru's T Shirt, removing the thin cotton material he'd been grateful for five minutes ago. He'd probably seen his friends body nearly everyday as far as he could remember, yet now that he was presented with it to do as he liked, it was as if he was seeing it for the first time. He liked the way Haru looked; lean, not overly muscly or big, but with all the right angles and curves. Haru was still blushing, still looking like a grumpy cat, but he knew that the smaller boy wanted this. After all, he'd asked.
He removed his own shirt before gently pushing his friend down slowly, resisting the urge to go primeval and shoving him down to ravish him. He was met with bright, sultry blue eyes, a spark of electricity in them he'd never seen before. These reactions from Haru were making it harder for Makoto to control himself, but as he knew that neither of them really knew what they were doing, it thought it best to take it slowly. Besides, although Haru had wanted more, he didn't specify how much more he wanted.
Mouths met again, this time with the added friction of bare skin against bare skin. Makoto accidentally brushed his rapidly growing cock against Harus, earning him a delicious-sounding 'Haaa!' from beneath him. Loving the way Haru's voice had gone from his usual deep timbre to something higher pitch and breathless, Makoto continued to grind more purposefully, trying to coax more sounds from him.
"Ma... Mako...!"Haru's voice, neither asking him to stop nor wanting his attention, merely spilled unabashed from his bruised pink lips. Daring to go even further, Makoto ceased his movements, hitching a single finger underneath the waistband of Haru's underwear and shorts, glancing up uncertainly to seek permission. He received a fussy 'mmmph' and a heated look, and took it to mean that he could continue. His mouth going uncomfortably dry, Makoto finally, after months of fantasizing, pulled down the rest of Haru's clothing to reveal his friends naked body.
Haru's blushing returned in full force, but he resolutely gripped the sheets at his sides, seemingly in an attempt to not be so embarrassed about what was happening. In Haru-language, Makoto knew this translated into 'I'm not a girl, i'm not embarrassed by this'. He allowed himself a knowing smile, which he pressed delicately into Haru's belly button.
"Haru..." he breathed, causing Haru to buck ever so slightly, the air from Makotos lips tickling his belly. "You really are beautful."
Chuckling, Makoto started to trail his lips down and around the jutting hipbones, while Haru slowly entangled a hand in his friends hair. He didn't know how much time had passed since they had begun this, and he wanted to take his time and savour Haru slowly. However, Haru seemed impatient, bucking his hips to try to get Makoto to move faster and realistically, Makoto didn't know how much longer he could wait himself. Bracing his hands below the soft blurred tan lines on Haru's hips, he took Haru into his mouth, predicting the jerked movement that followed and avoiding it accordingly so he didn't choke. Obviously, he'd never done this before, but he knew what felt good for himself, so acting on pure instinct, Makoto gripped Haru with his lips and started to bob.
"Ah! Mako..."Haru's voice, although not loud, filled his ears as he moaned into Haru's cock. "That... It'll... If you carry on... i'll-!"
Although pleased that he was making Haru feel so good, Makoto didn't want it to end quite yet. So taking Haru's advice after a few well delivered strokes of his tongue, Makoto released Haru from his mouth and sat up, attempting to shimmy down the remainder of his own clothing. Haru's eyes widened at this; they both knew where this was going to go next. Makoto was far too hard for any kind of foreplay to last long, and honestly, he was pretty sure Haru was too shy to try right now. Instead, he brought a finger to Haru's lips, earning a confused look from the blue-eyed boy.
"You need to make them wet, Haru." Makoto explained, pressing his fingertips against the pink lips. Granting access, Haru still didn't look like he understood, but acquiesced, absently swirling his tongue around the digits, coating them. When he thought they were wet enough, Makoto removed them from Haru's mouth and replaced them with a deep, meaningful kiss.
"Haru,"he questioned, touching their foreheads together. Haru's gaze was heavy, his breathing still not settled. "You know... this... what we're about to do?"
The return gaze was suddenly resolute.
"I know. If it's Makoto, it's okay."
"I want you to know, though... I love you. You do know that, right?"For the first time throughout, Makoto blushed. Funny, he thought, doing all this ecchi stuff and the thing that makes me the most embarrassed is telling him how I feel.
Haru smiled. It wasn't his usual smile; this one, unlike his public ones, reached his cheeks and filled his face. It was uniquely Haru, reserved yet open, refreshing, reassuring.
"I know. I think... I love you too." he reached around and circled Makotos neck once again, their bodies tensed and poised in position. "I wouldn't be doing this if it were anyone else. If it's not Makoto, then it's no good. "
It didn't matter that Haru couldn't give him a definite answer, he knew even though Haru didn't. He knew Haru would never do something like this if he didn't want it, and the fact that he wanted to do it with Makoto was more than enough for tears to form at the corners of Makotos eyes. Rolling his eyes, Haru leaned up and kissed him.
He tried to make it as comfortable for Haru as he possibly could, but he knew from common sense and the small amounts of information he'd amassed so far that the first time would probably hurt. Nevertheless, it didn't make it any easier to see Haru's face contort with pain as Makoto prepped him slowly. He wished he had the ability of foresight; he would have wanted to prepare for this a little better. A better lubricant would make this much easier on Haru.
Eventually, after a few barely concealed hisses and pained moans from the smaller boy, it seemed as though Haru was getting used to it. As Makoto jerked his fingers accidentally, Haru's eyes shot open, his mouth freeing a surprised gasp as his back arched, pressing against Makoto's chest. He tried it again and was rewarded with a whimper, which encouraged him to remove his fingers and poise himself at Haru's entrance.
They locked eyes at each other as Makoto slowly pushed in, painstakingly taking his time, not wanting to hurt Haru. The heat that enveloped him however was so intense he had trouble controlling his actions, accidentally bucking forwards and pushing himself fully into Haru. Instead of a painful gasp however, Haru, forgetting his embarrassment, let loose the most erotic sound that Makoto had ever heard.
Immediately, a hand shot to Haru's mouth, his blush returning in full force. Laughing openly, Makoto tugged the hand away and kissed him, slowly starting to move. Their rhythm wasn't perfect, but he was able to get a few thrusts to hit just so and earn himself another beautiful moan. He tried to time his thrusts with the movement of his hand around Haru's cock while Haru's hands scrabbled at his back, leaving marks that he knew would raise a few questions at practice tomorrow. Right now though, all Makoto could think about was getting more and more of Haru. His beautiful, wanton, horny Haru.
Their breaths, gasps and moans escalated and even started to synchronize before stars exploded behind Makotos eyelids as he came inside Haru. Remembering to keep his hand moving, Makoto continued until Haru made another of those erotic moans, louder and more desperate this time, before spilling everything into Makotos hand and on his own chest.
They lay that way lewdly for a few minutes, not caring about the state they were in. Makoto had collapsed onto Haru's chest and could feel the warmth cooling between them, as well as Haru's steadying heartbeat. Half-heartedly, Haru tried to swing an arm around Makoto, but his energy failed him and his arm dropped lifelessly back to the sheets.
Practice had gone by pretty quickly again, their time in the pool limited once more by falling temperatures. After telling them that the next practice would start in the gym, Gou excused herself from the group. Nagisa and Rei, having changed already, were loitering outside the changing room, Nagisa peering nosily over Rei's shoulder at his book while waiting for Makoto and Haru.
The two had already dressed, but Makoto was delayed by his recently-acquired boyfriend tugging on his sleeve. He had that angry cat expression on his face again, yet it was accompanied by an almost imperceptible pink lacing the bridge of his nose. Translating, Makoto correctly guessed what it was that Haru wanted, and the two shared a secret kiss before joining their friends outside.
Yes, Makoto had finally seen the side of Haru he'd always wanted to see. And now it was a side of Haru that he wanted to keep all to himself.