Just a quick little something I thought up while procrastinating! Enjoy! Review; I'm not used to writing things as short as this! Implied yaoi and sweary-language.
A library chatroom: who knows what you're going to find out; especially when everyone's bored. Procrastination is a terrible thing.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto
The library was too quiet for Naruto to handle. He was fidgeting agitatedly in his seat as he watched Sasuke across the room. The raven was quite happily flicking through a textbook and every so often looking up at his computer screen to confirm something. Naruto pouted as once again, his friend ignored the spitball that he'd sent in his direction. Sasuke was no fun around exam time. With a glare, he tossed a pencil across the room and Sasuke smoothly dodged without even looking up. There was a small ping in Naruto's headphones, indicating that someone had sent him a message through the university library chat room.
Uchiha Sasuke: Do your work, moron.
Naruto glared angrily across the room, and saw Sasuke smirking to himself, but giving no other indication that he had made contact with Naruto at all. Furiously, he began to type back.
Naruto Uzumaki: Why don't you come over here and make me?
A few moments later, there was a response, but not from who he expected.
Hidan: Fucking hell, I didn't think anyone ever used this fucking chatroom!
Deidara: Hidan, turn your goddamn music down, I can hear it from across the room.
Uchiha Sasuke: You're such a child, Naruto…
Itachi Uchiha: I wonder what that makes you, then.
Naruto grinned in delight at seeing so many people online! Especially since he saw Sasuke's eyebrow twitch at his brother's comment. Oh, this looked like it was going to get good! Who cared about studying anyway? Procrastination was way more fun.
Sakura: How do you turn this chat thing off? I keep getting notifications! Oh hang on…Sasuke?
Naruto Uzumaki: Sakura! Hi! Sasuke's being an antisocial asshole
Itachi Uchiha: He's definitely an expert on assholes, my little brother
Naruto Uzumaki: …You got that right!
Uchiha Sasuke: Itachi, stay out of this
Deidara: Maybe you should set your chat to 'private' if you didn't want people joining in, baby Uchiha
Ino Yamanaka: Don't give him ideas; this is so cute!
Sakura: There you go again, pig; always butting in…
Ino: Like there's room to butt in with that ginormous forehead of yours hanging around…
Naruto Uzumaki: No need to fight! We're all friends here!
Uchiha Sasuke: . . . That is a gross generalisation, moron; that I don't appreciate
Itachi Uchiha: You hear that, Naruto; he doesn't like being referred to as your friend
Deidara: Shut up, Itachi; no one asked for your opinion
Itachi Uchiha: No one ever asks for your opinion, Deidara, yet you insist on thrusting your ridiculous art upon us
Naruto heard furious typing from several tables over and looked across the room to see Deidara angrily tapping away at his keyboard; probably to hotly reply to the elder Uchiha, who Naruto couldn't even see in the room anywhere.
Deidara: My art is not ridiculous! You're a fucking asshole, Uchiha! My art is true beauty! Fleeting masterpieces!
Sasori Akasuna: Thanks, Itachi…You've got him all worked up now. He spilt coffee all over my assignment. Thanks
Uchiha Sasuke: Naruto, get off chat and do your work; I'm not helping you later
Naruto couldn't help but snigger as he snuck another looked over to Deidara, who was now apparently being berated by his best friend for being so annoying and for ruining his homework. With a sigh, he minimized the chat for a bit so he could maybe get a little bit of work done; knowing that Sasuke was looking at him disapprovingly.
He was able to resist the tempting call of procrastination for about forty minutes; time in which he managed to spend reading the same chapter and absorbing none of it. Finally, the busy chat bar became too tempting to ignore and he snapped, clicking on it and seeing that the majority of the males that had been talking before had disappeared in place of a few females…who were apparently comparing the attractiveness of infamous males of the year.
Ino Yamanaka: What about Kiba Inuzuka? He's a bit of all right?
Sakura: Maybe if you're into fleas! Does he even wash? Gaara's way cuter! And that hair!
Temari Sabaku: …That's my little brother you're talking about…
Ino Yamanaka: Sorry Tem, but it's true; your baby brother is such a cutie! Sexy, even!
Neji Hyuuga: …I'll thank you to not be talking about my boyfriend like that
Ino Yamanaka: What
Naruto Uzumaki: WHAT? GAARA'S GAY?
Shikamaru Nara: Really, Gaara's gay?
Sakura: I can't believe that Gaara's gay!
Neji Hyuuga: …Why are you all so surprised about Gaara and not me?
Ino Yamanaka: Are you kidding me? Your hair is so beautiful!
Sakura: Not to mention that your skin is absolutely perfect!
Neji Hyuuga: So personal hygiene and taking care of oneself is now indicative of sexual orientation?
Itachi Uchiha: Indeed. Just look at Deidara…
Kisame Hoshigaki: Itachi, behave yourself for once, would you?
Deidara: Fuck you, Itachi! I'm not fucking gay!
Hidan: Liking being fucked in the ass by me says otherwise…
Deidara: Shut the fuck up, Hidan!
Naruto Uzumaki: Wait, Deidara's gay too?
Itachi Uchiha: Looks that way
Deidara: I am not gay!
Sasori Akasuna: That's not how it seemed the other night…
Deidara: Oh fuck off, Sasori!
Hidan: Oi, blondie; what's this about?
Deidara: Nothing! Fucking hell, Sasori's just being a dick, that's what!
Sasori Akasuna: Say, Itachi, how'd you know Deidara was gay?
Deidara: I'm not gay!
Itachi Uchiha: We may have shared an intimate, magical night together in which I ravished him repetitively
Kisame Hoshigaki: You're a Law student, not a poet, Itachi. But nice try. And it's not like your time with Dei was anything special. He much preferred being with me…
Deidara: YOU GUYS ARE ALL FUCKING ASSHOLES AND I HATE YOU ALL
Naruto burst out into silent laughter, seeing Deidara positively fuming and apparently threatening to do much worse to Sasori's homework than just spill coffee on it. The words 'take it back you asshole, yeah' seemed to be mouth very angrily several times as the redhead just looked incredibly amused and was apparently in no way about to take back what he'd said. Naruto didn't know if that was because it wasn't true…or if it was because it was.
Sasori Akasuna: I'm hurt that you would share yourself with someone other than me, Deidara
Sakura: This is hilarious
Ino Yamanaka: Such a pity. Deidara's hot
Itachi Uchiha: Damn straight he is. That's one pimpin fine ass, ya hear?
Kisame Hoshigaki: You're not thug either, Itachi
Uchiha Sasuke: You are no brother of mine
Naruto Uzumaki: You're no fun, Sasuke!
Sakura: Yeah, you're no fun! Not like Deidara, obviously, ;)
Deidara: Bitch! I'm not a fucking slut! Sasori! [Naruto could practically hear the whinging in his voice]
Sasori Akasuna: Deidara can't take a joke
Hidan: Yeah, but he can fucking take a dick. I don't know about you guys, but I totally pounded his ass.
Kisame Hoshigaki: …Well…you're the only one… Itachi, don't even try to claim that you did
Hidan: Good to fucking know.
Naruto Uzumaki: …So Deidara's actually gay? :O
Itachi Uchiha: …And Hidan, apparently.
Deidara: Hidan, I fucking hate you
Hidan: I'll make it up to you tonight ;)
Naruto could hear a slightly explosive noise from across the room and even Sasuke looked up in amusement as Deidara stormed out of the library with a rather red face; Sasori chuckling hopelessly to himself. A middle finger was flipped in his direction.
"Don't even think about coming to my place tonight!" Deidara snarled across the library where Hidan was sniggering to himself with his feet up on the desk.
"I'll see you at nine!" the older man drawled back.
"Suck a dick, Hidan!" the blonde shouted.
"…I fucking like the way you think!" Hidan cackled, and Deidara promptly turned on his heels and stalked off, blushing furiously and looking incredibly displeased. The entire library broke out into a soft murmur of giggles.
Sakura: …Why are all the hot ones taken? :(
Ino Yamanaka: What about Shikamaru? He's kinda cute
Temari Sabaku: Are you kidding me? He's an idiot! And lazy! And a total slob!
Ino Yamanaka: …Right.
Temari Sabaku: What's that supposed to mean?
Sakura: Oh nothing. So who's single that's hot?
Karin: Well, Sasuke, DUH!
Itachi Uchiha: Like my foolish little brother fits that criteria…
Shikamaru Nara: …I'm still here…
Ino Yamanaka: …Oh crap.
Shikamaru Nara: No problem. So, Ino…dinner?
Temari Sabaku: Shikamaru!
Shikamaru Nara: What?
Temari Sabaku: You can't just…
Ino Yamanaka: Oh, did I just get between you lovebirds?
Temari Sabaku: We are NOT lovebirds!
Ino Yamanaka: …Right…So you won't mind if I go for dinner with Shika? J
Naruto Uzumaki: I'm so confused right now
Uchiha Sasuke: That's because you're a moron. Temari likes Shikamaru. Obviously.
Naruto Uzumaki: What? That's not obvious at all!
Ino Yamanaka: …
Sakura: …Naruto, are you really that thick?
Itachi Uchiha: I think Naruto's been too pre-occupied to focus on everyone else's love-lives.
Temari Sabaku: You're all ridiculous
Shikamaru Nara: Troublesome.
Ino Yamanaka: Admit it, Temari, or I'm going to start asking questions about Gaara's sexual relationship with Neji!
Shikamaru Nara: …It's a good thing Neji tells me things, right Neji?
Neji Hyuuga: Bluffing
Ino Yamanaka: So Shikamaru, tell us; what turns Gaara on?
Shikamaru Nara: Neji having his hair out; freshly washed. Vanilla conditioner.
Neji Hyuuga: Shikamaru! I told you that in confidence!
Temari Sabaku: You people are horrible!
Ino Yamanaka: Most sensitive part of his body?
Shikamaru Nara: …Wrists
Temari Sabaku: Fine! Fine! Shikamaru, will you be my boyfriend already! Stop saying things about my little brother!
Ino Yamanaka: Finally
Shikamaru Nara: Troublesome. Sure.
Uchiha Sasuke: Can you all stop being so annoying now?
Itachi Uchiha: But Sasuke, isn't it just so…uplifting to see people finally admitting affection for one another? Especially when it's so obvious?
Kisame Hoshigaki: You're a fine one to talk, Itachi
Uchiha Sasuke: Naruto; you have literally done no work in two hours. Don't come complaining to me wanting help.
Itachi Uchiha: Been watching him, have you, Sasuke?
Uchiha Sasuke: The idiot's been spending his time throwing things at me
Naruto Uzumaki: Because you're not being fun
Uchiha Sasuke: Do your work
Naruto Uzumaki: Why? You'll do it for me later!
Uchiha Sasuke: As if.
Karin: Sasuke, it's so admirable how you work so hard and encourage others to do so!
Itachi Uchiha: Hard, indeed; especially when it comes to Naruto; because he never does any work, that is
Karin: You could always come upstairs; there's room in the study room I booked…
Sakura: Karin, it's hilarious when Naruto gets told off by Sasuke; don't interrupt!
Naruto pouted despite the fact that no one could see him. No fair; why did Sakura always have to take Sasuke's side! Sasuke didn't even like her and she'd always support him instead!
Naruto Uzumaki: I don't get 'told off' by Sasuke!
Itachi Uchiha: What, do you get spanked instead?
Kisame Hoshigaki: Itachi, if you don't quit making passive aggressive sexual comments about Naruto and Sasuke's friendship then we are not having sex tonight.
Uchiha Sasuke: Thank you
Uchiha Sasuke: Wait, what?
Sasori Akasuna: What?
Ino Yamanaka: WHY ARE THE HOT ONES GAY?
Itachi Uchiha: ….
Naruto looked over at Sasuke to see how he was apparently taking this information. The raven's face was surprisingly blank, and he seemed to be struggling to find something to say in response to this.
Uchiha Sasuke: Well, that explains all your sleepovers…
Itachi Uchiha: ….So what explains all the ones you have with Naruto?
Kisame Hoshigaki: That's it. No sex. Butt out, Itachi. You're meddling.
Itachi Uchiha: …You just announced to the entire chatroom that we are in a sexual relationship. I will meddle as much as I damn well like!
Hidan: Itachi is fucking definitely the chick in this relationship.
Ino Yamanaka: Yeah
Sasori Akasuna: I have to agree with Hidan
Itachi Uchiha: I am not a woman!
Hidan: …So do you top then? [Naruto literally snorted in amusement and had the feeling that a lot of the people observing the conversation were laughing as well. The idea of slim Itachi Uchiha topping the gigantic Kisame was far too comical to not laugh!]
Sasori Akasuna: Well that's a hilarious mental image
Itachi Uchiha: What's so funny?
Kisame Hoshigaki: Cute, Itachi
Hidan: …Itachi totally takes Kisame's dick!
Uchiha Sasuke: Can we not talk about my brother's sex life?
Itachi Uchiha: Yes, let's not; let's talk about Sasuke's instead.
Hidan: Sex a bit of a fucking sore topic, Itachi? Feeling a bit butthurt are we?
Naruto Uzumaki: Your puns are bad and you should feel bad
Sakura: Wait, Sasuke has a sex life?
Ino Yamanaka: Ooh, this is so exciting! I kind of thought he was asexual!
Sakura: Gay or straight? Coz really, I don't know what to think anymore?
Ino Yamanaka: I hope straight…but I think that's a bit too much to ask these days!
Karin: There's no way Sasuke can be gay!
Hidan: Bet no one thought Itachi was fucking a dude
Naruto Uzumaki: I don't know…Now that I think about it, he and Kisame always seemed a little too close to be just friends…
Ino Yamanaka: …
Neji Hyuuga: …
Itachi Uchiha: Pot, meet kettle
Uchiha Sasuke: …
Shikamaru Nara: Troublesome
Naruto Uzumaki: What?
Temari Sabaku: My bet's on the Uchiha wearing the pants HAHAHA
Sakura: Yeah, I'm with you on that one! Good joke!
Hidan: Blondes are such fucking ukes
Naruto Uzumaki: Hey! What are you talking about?
Itachi Uchiha: Oh this is so perfect…
Sakura: And of course, Naruto's just so adorable and cute!
Naruto Uzumaki: Huh?
Ino Yamanaka: Yeah, I suppose he is! I mean, cute enough for it to work for him. And I bet he rocks shirtless…
Naruto Uzumaki: Am I being objectified?
Sakura: It's such a nice match too…Naruto really would need someone quite dominating…
Karin: Oh, I see! Naruto and Sasuke together! Haha! You guys are hilarious! I get it now! There's no way Sasuke would be the uke!
Naruto Uzumaki: WHAT? WHATB ARE JYOU TALKNG ABOUT? [He was in such a rush to reply that he didn't bother with his spelling.]
Uchiha Sasuke: …You really are a moron aren't you?
Uchiha Sasuke: And the rest of you are pathetic.
Uchiha Sasuke: …And while we're on topic; I may as well confirm that Naruto definitely bottoms. [Naruto's mouth fell open in shock]
Uchiha Sasuke: And enjoys it. [He wasn't aware that his face could blush so furiously]
Uchiha Sasuke: ;)
Naruto just stared at his screen for a moment, and then up at Sasuke, who was calmly beginning to pack up his things; finished with his library study for the meantime.
Sakura: Did Sasuke just use a winky face?
Ino Yamanaka: Forget the winky face; did Sasuke just…
Itachi Uchiha: FINALLY, MY LITTLE BROTHER IS OUT OF THE CLOSET
Kisame Hoshigaki: Itachi, you're a pest.
Sakura: …I can't believe…WHAT
Itachi Uchiha: Oh don't act surprised
Ino Yamanaka: …Itachi does have a point…
K. Hatake: You students do know that the lecturers moderate the chatroom?
K. Hatake: :) Naruto: Iruka's going to have words with you. And whether or not all this is true; thank you all for making this a most enjoyable (and informative) chatroom experience. Happy studying!
Naruto immediately slammed his laptop shut, blushing up to his ears as he realised that people all around the library were beginning to look at him strangely. Something tapped on his desk and he looked up, blinking in surprise when he noticed that Sasuke was standing there looking irritable.
"…Hurry up," the raven snorted, rolling his eyes. Naruto just pouted and slowly began to pack his things away into his bag; trying to ignore the shocked (and very curious) stares he was getting.
"…Why'd you have to go and do that?" he muttered crossly, "…Now Iruka's going to give me a talking to and Kakashi's going to be unbearable in lectures!" Sasuke just smirked.
" –I didn't like the way they were talking about you," he sniffed as the blonde got to his feet. "…And they were going to find out sooner or later." And on that note, in front of everyone in the library, Sasuke Uchiha grabbed his surprised secret (or maybe not-so-secret) boyfriend by the chin and dragged him in for a kiss; forcing his tongue through shocked lips and kissing him deeply. Naruto, after coming to the conclusion that finally their relationship was very much in the open, wrapped his arms around the raven's neck and kissed him back furiously.
Itachi chuckled to himself as he looked over the railing down onto his little brother and the blonde. He smirked and rubbed his hands together gleefully.
"Don't look so pleased with yourself," Kisame snorted from across the table; not even bothering to look up because he knew exactly the face the elder Uchiha was wearing, "…I was serious about the no sex."
Naruto and Sasuke broke apart and Naruto cheekily took the raven's pale hand in his, despite Sasuke's slight blush at the gesture. The blonde grinned cheekily.
"…Hey Sasuke…can you help me with my homework?"
Itachi and his really not-so-subtle hints at knowing about Sasuke and Naruto's 'secret' relationship. Kisame, I love you so much and how you deal with Itachi's shit...
Didn't make an awful lot of sense, but it was fun to write! Hope it was kinda fun to read!