Author's note: This story was taken down and now re-uploaded because for some strange reason, it kept glitching out (grrr!). I reformatted the whole thing, so maybe this re-post will give me less issues XD! I'm sorry for the inconvenience! While I was at it, I took the time to edit it a bit, so I also hope that helps :D Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy my first SnK fic! And if you've already read it, hello again XD On a smaller note, the italics signifies that the event is taking place in the past, and the # signifies a scene change. I'm not sure if this fic is any good, but I sure had fun writing it!
You Were Always Human:
Crimson stained the land, accompanied by the stench of boiling iron.
"Heichou! Heichou!" the words echoed out, "Can you hear me, Heichou!?"
Horses galloped in every direction. The cries of men – the cries of soldiers - rang out with them. Chaos ensued, and yet men were stunned into silence.
"Heichou!" the words echoed again.
"…So loud," he mumbled.
"Heichou! P-Please! Please don't die!"
The man turned his head to see a boy by his side, tears pouring from his face. They tumbled down onto his chest, sinking into his green cloak.
"…Shitty brat," he gritted his teeth and sat himself up, "Stop crying. You're in worse condition than me."
"W-who cares about me!? M-my wounds will just—"
"Jaeger! Levi!" Someone shouted, "Watch out!"
The man's eyes widened in that split second, swinging around to see nothing but a cruel, giant, sneering face above them. Its jaw was parted, showing off its razor sharp teeth as it began to clench down.
"Oi! Eren, move—!"
The giants jaw snapped down, devouring all before it until there was nothing left but a gaping hole in the earth.
And suddenly, the world seemed to have stopped before the boy's eyes.
He picked himself up, now on the ground just a few feet from being eaten.
His eyes widened, his body trembled. The world around him seemed to freeze as an icy chill filled him.
He started to scream.
Eren shot awake, panting viciously. He took a moment to catch his breath, then wiped the icy sweat from his forehead.
"…A dream?" he whispered to himself, "About what? I don't even remember…"
He stretched out his arms and reached for his cellphone by his bedside. After flipping it on, he noticed that he had a new text message from Armin;
'Armin: "Eren! Don't forget that were all going to the beach today! We're all meeting downtown, so don't be late or Jean is going to throw a fit! "'
Eren flung up from his bed and swung around to see the time.
"Crap, that's right! I completely forgot! I'm already late, dammit!"
He jumped out of bed, quickly throwing on whatever clothing he found scattered on the floor, and ran down the stairs. There was no time to lose. He had wanted to go to the beach since he was a kid, and this would be his first time seeing the ocean for himself. But if he misses the train, not only would he get scolded by Jean and everyone else, but he may never get another chance to see it.
As he galloped down the stairs, his mother smiled at him.
"Eren breakfast is read—"
"Sorry, Mom!" Eren panted, "I'm in a real hurry! I'll eat later!" He ran over to the front door and swung it open.
"Oh, Eren, wait! You might not want to take Main Street today because—"
But it was too late. Eren slammed the door behind him and was on his way.
His mother sighed to herself, slightly smiling, "That boy never listens."
Eren darted down road after road. He even jumped over a couple of fences to make up some time. Shuffling through the busy crowds, it felt as though he was making great progress. He smirked to himself, then looked at his watch.
"Ack! It's already ten minutes past our meeting time!" he realized, "But it shouldn't be long now! All I have to do is run through Main Street and I'm there!"
He turned the last corner, ready to shout to victory as he sprinted along his last obstacle, but instead found himself crashing violently into someone. Eren fell onto the concrete, dazed for a moment.
"Watch where ya goin' will ya!?" a middle aged man snarled at him.
"U-uh sorry," Eren rubbed his head, picking himself up from the gound.
"Sorry don't fix you almost killin me! Now beat it, ya squirt!" he hissed, then disappeared into the crowd.
Eren clutched his fist.
"Grumpy bastard," he muttered. He wiped off some dirt them remembered, "Crap! I'm late!" He sprung to his feet, only to find himself barricaded against a wall of people. He tried his best to squeeze past them, but there was no room. People continued to push and shove to the front.
"What's going on!?" Eren barked, "Let me through!" He tried to push his way through the thick crowd again, but was spit out just as quickly.
A women, about in her late thirties, turned around to face Eren. She removed an old fashion cigarette pipe from her mouth and growled at him.
"Look kid," she spat, "I don't give a squat about how much you want to see him. You have to stand behind the blockades just like the rest of that, besides," she flipped her hair, "He's mine."
"I don't even know what you're talking about! I just need to get through this street!" Eren barked back, "I'm in a hurry!"
"Sorry," an old man suddenly walked up behind him, "This whole street's been blockaded off because someone famous is here today. I think he's one of the richest people in the world or some mumbo-jumbo."
"Not one of!" The women snapped, "The richest! And not only is he richest, he's also the most handsome! So back off!"
The old man just laughed.
Eren's eye twitched.
You've got to me kidding. This is some sort of joke. Why today of all days?
He looked back up and sighed. Perhaps he could take another route… but that would delay him even further. Eren rubbed his temples and looked back into the crowd, and that's when he noticed a small gap where the woman was standing.
That's it. Now was his chance.
In that split second, Eren flung himself at that gap, squeezing through the wave of people, and leaping over a short barricade that was set up.
As he made his breakthrough, he could hear a security guard spit out an order to stop him, as well as the sudden squeeing of many females; "Look! It's him! It's Levi!"
Eren smirked, turning his head to see three guards chasing him. He knew they'd never catch him. All he had to do now was jump over the other set of barricades and he'd be home free. He'd still have to face Jean and his horse-like face yelling at him for being twenty minutes late—
But in the midst Eren found himself once again colliding head first with the concrete - face first.
He tripped. Dammit. It was in that moment when he realized that he had neglected to tie one of his shoes in his hurry.
He groaned, knowing he needed to get up quickly, but before he could do anything, someone was towering over him.
"Oi. That was pretty pathetic, brat."
Eren blinked up, seeing a man with jet black hair with a precise shaving under his hairline, wearing a black suit with a red tie. His dark mahogany eyes pierces directly into Eren's, and his face kept stern and icy.
Eren froze. His eyes widened as he looked up at the man. He could no longer here the gasps of the crowd behind him or the security shouting at him. His eyes could only see one thing. His ears could only hear one thing.
He looked - so... familiar...
Yet at the same time Eren could swear he'd never seen him before. He couldn't take his eyes off the man, and he could feel something twitch in his chest.
"Well? Are you going to say something or just lay of the filthy sidewalk like a mutt?" the man continued. His gaze became more intense, glaring at Eren directly in the eye.
And in that moment, his mouth parted itself, and without him thinking about it, he spoke very shaken and confused.
"…Hei—chou?" the words came out.
But that's all that came out before the world around Eren suddenly went black.
Eren's entire body ached. His head especially felt like it was on fire. The world around him was spinning, and he could hardly recall what had happened earlier. It was almost a blur.
There was a man – in black. And the moment he looked at his face, he suddenly said something and pasted out.
Eren rubbed his eye.
…What was that all about?
"Are you awake?" a voice spoke.
Eren jolted up. He suddenly realized he was lying in a strange bed in a strange house, and on top of that, next to him sitting in a chair and sipping tea was that strange man he ran into before he fainted.
"D-did you kidnap me!?" Eren blurted out, arms flailed out in defence.
The man kept his stern face on.
"Why the hell would I kidnap you, shitty brat? You're the one who passed out in the street," he snapped.
Eren flinched back at his voice. He blinked down. Though unsure of why, he felt almost... nervous.
"O-oh. Right…" he looked around the room cautiously, "Um, where am I?"
"My house," he replied blandly.
Eren wondered if that meant that he carried him all the way here to help him. He glanced over to him. Still… he didn't look like the type to go out of their way to help people. If anything at all, he looked cold. No - he looked… scary.
"What do you mean 'oh'?" the man hissed, "It's been how many years and all you can say to me is 'oh'? Who do you think I am?"
"E-excuse me?" Eren blinked.
What did he say? No - what did he mean? Is he saying that they had met before...?
The man suddenly raised his brow and looked toward Eren. Eren turned away, slightly flustered.
There was an awkward silence in the room. They both kept to themselves for a while. Eren began to twiddle his fingers, afraid to look up to see if the man was still staring at him.
This day was just getting weirder. Did he really know this man? He must be mistaken, because he can't recall ever meeting anyone like him. And why Eren suddenly acting shy!? That's not like him at all! And on top of that-
"Ah!" Eren gasped, "That's right, I'm really late for something! I-I'm sorry for all the trouble but—"
The man put his cup down and shot his gaze at Eren, eyes engulfed in a fire.
"Look at me, Eren," he demanded.
"How did you know my name-?"
"I said look at me," he growled again. Eren tensed up. He slowly brought his eyes up to meet the man's, who was gazing at him directly, as if just looking at him would break him. Eren's heart began to pound again. The room started to feel hot. His face started to burn.
"U-um, sir?" Eren squeaked, scooting back slightly.
"You bastard," the man sighed, "I don't believe this."
"I-I think I'm a little confused..." Eren trailed off. He watched cautiously as the man turned away from his and closed his eyes for a moment.
For a moment - not even a second - Eren thought he saw that fierce gaze of his shift. For a moment, he looked almost... sad?
No - that couldn't be it. Not this guy.
Eren must have been confused, that's all.
"You called me Heichou," Levi interrupted.
"Before you passed out. You said 'Heichou.' Why? Are you telling me you don't even know why?" He gritted his teeth. Eren stared for a moment as Levi clutched his sleeve, eyes shut tightly.
But as Eren thought about the question at hand, his mind went blank.
Why did he call him Heichou? Why?
"I… I really don't know," he mumbled, "That's not your name, is it?"
"Of course not."
"Then what is?"
Levi stayed silent for a long moment.
"Levi," he finally spoke up.
Eren scratched his cheek lightly.
"O-oh, well, thank you for helping me out there Levi—"
Suddenly, Eren's head became throbbing again as he said the name. He clutched onto his forehead. A high pitched noise filled the room, and for a second, a strange image flashed through his head. He saw something strange, something he had never seen before – and yet seemed too familiar to be true.
He swore he could see a pair of wings…
But that's all me managed to see.
Suddenly, Levi shot up and slammed his hand on the table, making the tea cup clatter and tip over.
Eren jumped up, shouting back;
He froze again.
"I-I did it again…" Eren blinked.
What was going on here…? He looked down at his hands, contemplating the situation. Why does he keep calling him Heichou if that's not his name? In fact, why would he have called him anything if they had never met before…?
"So, you really don't remember? You're not just shitting with me, are you brat? You should know the consequences of that," Levi glared at him.
Eren scooted back. He felt his heart flicker somewhat.
"U-um, remember what, sir?" he twiddled his fingers, "I guess I'm a little rattled from passing out and all—"
Levi stood up and planted himself right next to Eren. Eren's heart skipped a beat, and part of him instinctively shuffled away.
"Oi, Eren. Do you hate me?"
"N-no. I understand why you did what you did."
Wait what!? Eren's eyes widened. What was he saying? What did he just say? He didn't think about it – he just did it. It didn't even make sense in this context.
"It looks like part of you does remember."
"W-what are you talking about!?" Eren snapped, "What's going on here!? I'm… I'm confused!"
Levi stayed silent. He crossed his arms and closed his eyes.
"H-have we met before…?" Eren suddenly asked. He looked up to Levi, eyes dazed.
Levi looked away again and moved back over to his chair. He sat himself down and looked up at the ceiling as Eren patiently waiting for a response. But all he mumbled was;
"What a mess."
As he waited for a real answer, Eren couldn't help but let his gaze wander over him. Even through a suit, he could see muscles all over his arms and chest poke out. He sat firmly, yet elegantly. His eyes moved to Levi's face. His face was flawless, and his eyes… His eyes were stern and cold. And yet, Eren squinted his own eyes to get a better look. For some reason, Eren felt like there was something behind those eyes he wanted to see. Something that he needed to see.
Levi sighed to himself, gently, but loud enough to be heard in the quaint room.
"If you don't remember, it's probably best it stays that way," he began.
"What do you mean?" Eren wondered.
"Nothing," Levi stood up, "You're free to go do whatever it is you do."
And there it was again. For a brief moment, that sharp face of his flickered. For a brief moment there was something much more written it. Eren knew he saw it that time.
"Wait!" Eren grabbed Levi by the arm, again without thinking.
His face then flustered.
"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to grab you—"
Levi grabbed Eren by the hair. Eren whimpered as he yanked on it.
"You're filthy, brat," he growled.
"I-I-I'm so s-s-sorry, please don't kick me," Eren cringed.
Levi furrowed his brow. "Why do you think I'd kick you?"
"I-I don't know, I'm so confused, I-I'm sorry—"
Levi grabbed Eren by both arms and shoved him down, pinning him to the bed. Eren started blankly up at Levi as he held him firmly from atop. He could feel his heart beating out of his chest. He parted his lips but no words came out. Levi's entire body was only inches away, and he could feel his breath curl again his cheek. He felt like he was going to explode. Or perhaps, like he was going to melt.
"Stop apologizing, shitty brat. You're annoying."
Levi lowered his face down to Eren's, using his tongue to lick Eren's lips. Eren closed his eyes, unable to move. He could feel Levi's tongue swirl around his mouth, trying to enter. He let him, opening his mouth just slightly enough for it to slide perfectly inside.
What was going on? What was happening? Was this a dream? He couldn't help but wonder as Levi continued to explore his mouth.
"...Nn. Hei-Heichou," Eren moaned, not realizing he did.
Levi pulled away, letting Eren gasp for breath, knowing that he was holding it the entire time. Instead he moved his mouth toward his neck, and his hand to Eren's belt.
Eren shut his eyes even more tighly. He clutched onto Levi in instinct, feeling as Levi started pushing one hand under his belt.
Should he run? Should he reject him? That would be the logical thing to do, right?
But as Levi went back to curled his tongue against his own, Eren felt strangely… warm.
…So very warm.
Levi pulled up for a moment.
"Stop crying," he said.
Crying…? What was he talking about?
Eren opened his eyes. He turned and used a finger to wipe the tears from his face.
Levi released Eren from his grip and sat up. Eren sat up too, wiping his remained tears.
Levi looked away.
"You should go," Levi ordered.
Eren curled his legs up and pressed his face on his knees. He tried to subside the blushing as much as possible.
"Can I ask you something?" Eren mumbled.
"If we've met before… How come I can't remember you, but you can?"
Levi rolled his eyes.
"It doesn't matter."
"But it does!" Eren protested, "Why can't I remember!? And, and after what you just did, I— I'm just so confused! Can't you tell me!?"
The tears reappeared in Eren's eyes. He sunk down on the bed. Levi suddenly grabbed him, shoving his face into his shoulder blade, not as gently as it could have been.
"I thought I said don't cry, brat."
Eren closed his eyes and wrapped his arms against Levi.
"I said don't apologize either."
Eren buried his face deeper. He could smell the soft sent of tea leaves on his clothing.
And once again, he felt his chest become warm. A full, yet light and airy warmth.
After a couple of moments, Eren finally pulled away from Levi. He rubbed his eyes, which were slightly red and puffy now.
"I really don't know why I started crying," Eren tried chuckling. Levi kept a keen eye on him as he spoke, "I guess I'm some weirdo, huh?" He laughed sheepishly.
Levi continued to stare at him.
He took his hand and placed his on top on Eren's head.
Eren closed his eyes, cringing, preparing himself for another hair-tug.
But instead of pain, he felt Levi gently stroke his head back and forth.
"No. You're only human, after all."
Eren's head suddenly shot in pain again. He fell over and clutched his head. This time was much worse. This time he thought his head really was going to burst.
"Oi, what's wrong?" Levi blinked.
Eren curled himself up. He felt like his head was about to explode all of the sudden.
"Oi, Eren!" Levi barked, trying to get a response out of him.
But Eren couldn't hear. Only one word started swirling around in his mind…
Suddenly, a huge flash appeared in his vision. He felt like he was falling through the room, and landed in a place as if he was actually there.
"Let go of me!" Eren cried, "We have to save Heichou! We have to go back! How can you just abandon him!?"
"Eren! Listen to us!" the squad leader snapped, "Levi is dead! We're lucky that he managed to push you out of the way of that titan before it got both of you!"
"Shut up! Shut up!" Eren snarled, "You don't know anything! Levi is humanities strongest soldier! He can't just die! I can fight even if you won't help me, so let me go!"
"You've already lost a few limbs, dumbass! How do you expect to fight anything!?"
"They'll grow back! I'm a titan, damn it, don't you remember!? We can't let Heichou die and die in vain!"
"You're the one who's going to let him die in vain if you insist that you're a titan!"
"What…? What are you talking about!?" he demanded.
"Levi-Heichou was the one who convinced the whole Scouting Legion that you weren't just some monster titan who wanted to kill! He was the one who believed without a doubt that you were human. Even If he's out there, do you think he'd be okay that you went on a titan rampage just because you were upset!? Levi would have never died to protect someone like that! He would have never died to protect a titan!"
Eren looked away, eyes fixed on nothing.
A titan... or a human?
He looked toward the bite markings on his hand.
"That's right…" he whispered to himself.
Eren sunk down to the floor, hanging his head down.
"Everyone thinks I'm a monster…" Eren muttered, pressing his face into his knees.
"That's because you are. To them, at least," Levi interrupted. Eren looked up at him.
"Not just to them… To everyone…"
Levi glanced over at him. He let the silence take over for a minute until speaking up once more.
"Since you're part titan, everyone can't help but associate you with titans they've seen and fought. Those titans were filthy monsters. Gross, I'd say."
"How's that any different?" Eren sighed.
"It's not if you don't want it to be," Levi continued, "But what determines whether you really are just like all the other titans is you. If you want to act like all the other titans and kill people for the fun of it like a monster, go ahead. But remember, I will kill you."
Eren looked away.
"Yeah… I've gotten the warning before…" he muttered.
"Then tell me," Levi was suddenly directly in front of Eren. He crouched down and grabbed him by the hair, causing Eren to yip. "Why is it you're still alive? If you're a monster, why haven't I killed you yet then?"
"W-why?" Eren scooted back. "I-I, well I…"
Levi slammed his hand on the wall behind him.
"Maybe it's because you're not a monster? That's the only logical explanation, is it not? Right now, you're human. I won't tell you again."
Eren snapped back into it.
His eyes poured with tears.
"Levi-Heichou…" Eren whimpered, "I'm sorry… I'm sorry I wasn't stronger! And I'm sorry you had to protect a pathetic human like me!"
The tears kept flowing, like and endless waterfall falling into an abyss.
The visions were now over.
"Eren!" Levi shook him, "Answer me, dammit."
Eren finally blinked up. His eyes grew big as he started into Levi's.
"H-Heichou…" he sobbed, his tears flowing like an abyss. "Heichou, I—"
He couldn't speak over his tears.
Levi started at him for a long moment.
He sighed again.
"...I thought I told you it was best you didn't remember, didn't I? You never listen to me, brat."
"Heichou, is it really you!?" Eren cried out, desperately wiping his tears, "You're really here, right!? It's not just a dream!?"
Levi leaned in toward Eren and gently brought Eren's hand onto his own cheek.
Eren blinked at him, trying to stop the tears.
"Yeah," he spoke up, "This isn't a dream. You can feel me just fine, can't you?"
"Levi Heichou!" Eren jumped onto him, still sobbing, and gripped around him. "I'm sorry I forgot! Both times I forgot! I'm so sorry, Heichou. I'm sorry... I-It's all my fault..."
Levi put his hand on top of Eren head and stroked gently.
"You're stull such a cry baby, you know?"
He continued to weep in Levi's arms.
"Heichou," Eren sobbed, "W-when I made that decision not to turn into a titan..."
"You made the right decision."
Eren blinked up at him.
"Don't look at me like some lost mutt," Levi yanked on his hair, "I said you made the right choice."
"B-but because of me, you-! It was my fault! How can you say that!?" He clutched his face.
"Yeah," Levi scoffed lightly, "It's your fault. It's your fault I didn't die protecting a monster."
Eren's tears ceased.
"I said I'd only say it once," Levi snapped, interrupting him, "But since you're a brat suffering from memory loss, I'll say it one more time." Levi placed his hand on Eren's head. "You were, are, and always will be, a human. And I died knowing that. I died without any regrets."
For the first time, although he wasn't smiling, Levi's face looked genuinely relaxed. He was genuinely happy.
He stared at Levi examining his expressions. He began to cry again, but this time perhaps not of sorrow.
Eren fell back into Levi's arms once more, pressing his face lightly again his skin.
"Y-you know," Eren began, "I never got a chance to tell you how I felt…"
Levi curled the ends of his hair between his fingers.
"It doesn't matter right now. The titans are gone. You can tell me whenever you want. I'm not going anywhere."
"O-okay," Eren agreed, tightening his grip.
"By the way," Levi muttered, "Your buying my a new shirt for getting all your disguising snot all over it."
Eren was able to laugh lightly at the comment.
"H-Heichou?" Eren pressed his face into his chest.
"Welcome back," Eren smiled at him, despite the tears.
Levi started at him for a long moment, finally letting out a tiny smirk and patting Eren on the head once more.