Disclaimer: I still don't own Shingeki no Kyojin.

A/A: In which I should have placed this here a long time ago... I forgot I had this account for a few months due to Nanowrimo and other life obligations. Anyways, the official end for Crime Lords is still chapter 10. This was inspired by a prompt of snkkink.

Teens sometimes have the stupidest ideas. Soldiers usually have the urge to prove their capabilities. Alcohol does not make the above combination a good thing.

Armin's shoulder still ache from that bull-tipping incident. The greenish black stain on Mikasa's pants never came off. (Even though it was hidden by boots and barely bigger than a fingernail, it still bugs Eren. That thought actually made him stop and shudder. Is he turning into his corporal?)

Back to the part about drinking and stupid ideas then. At some point, the drunken conversation turned from scary stories to cultural and language differences. Being both teens and soldiers, that led to swear words. After Connie swore at Jean for wiping weird things on his back again, the rapidly-getting-drunk Jean (he had ordered and chugged down several beers in a row) swore back with several Trost specials tacked on the end. It would have erupted into a fight, but Sasha stepped in.

"I can do better." She claimed before launching into a series of insults that questioned Jean's appearance, sexuality, capabilities, intelligence and geneology before tacking on several suggestions on improving his appearance via ending up on the pointy side of an arrow. For a good measure, Sasha also repeated Jean's words back to him. Unfortunately for Sasha, half of her words were slurred because she was inebriated. Eren wasn't sure if she can even walk home. (He made a mental note to talk to Armin about guest rooms for their friends.)

Then it became a contest to one-up the previous speaker.

Mikasa being able to swear in two different languages was no surprise. Armin had some rather archiac swears that technically don't really count as swear words anymore. Hange had the most creative insults. Levi's were surprisingly uncreative, and actually seemed more like promises than threats. (He also seemed ready to go through with them.)

Even Christa tossed in a few swear words, which made more than a few soldiers blink in surprise.

On the other hand, ever since the swearfest started, Eren was quiet. He didn't stay that way long. A few sentences from Jean goaded him into speaking.

By speaking, this meant a full fifteen minutes comprising of insults in four different languages and thirteen dialects that spanned from the underground tunnels of Wall Sina to the easternmost side of Wall Maria. It sounded rather lyrical, considering that the titan shifter never repeated the same insult once. Even Jean was grudgingly impressed. (Not that he would admit it.)

The bar was silent. That was pretty much an unanimous vote that Eren can now be crowned king of swear words.

"Nuh uh, uh!" Hange slurred, draping one arm around Eren's shoulder. Eren leaned away from the alcohol stained breath. "You forgot the most basic of them all. You know... Levi says them all the time."

Eren turned red. There's a phantom pain at the tips of his ears, like it was being pulled by a mother.

"Everyone knows what they are." He defended himself. "I don't have to say it."

Showing Hange a bit of weakness was like throwing oneself at the titans with a itty bitty spoon. The sudden gleam in her glasses was quite alarming.

"Of course, you do." The mad scientist urged. "Say it."

"Say it."
"It's an order?"
"I've never heard anyone telling someone to swear as an order." That's when the table of soldiers finally understood what was happening.
"Say it! Say it!"

"Fine!" Eren said. "Fu-fu..."

At that moment, the door of the bar opened and a young man walked in. Through his drunken haze, Jean thought he looked familiar. Didn't that guy used to work in his cousin's bakery? He's pretty nice, almost as nice as Marco. No freckles though. Jean thought about inviting him over and introducing him to the rest of the table.

"Finally!" Eren cried, dashing out of his seat and almost tackling the civilian. Antonio let out a tiny eep! as Eren dragged him away. "I was looking for you!"

"Who's he?" Levi asked. The corporal still sipped at his first glass of beer. Mikasa and Armin looked at each other, then at the departing Eren. They haven't touched their drink all night - Grisha Yeager had made sure to tell them all about liver poisoning.

"You mean, Antonio?" Armin asked. "He looks out for us occasionally and he's been taking care of our things while we're in the military. Eren's pretty close to him, so I think they're just going to catch up."

Antonio was ... that Antonio? As in the right hand man of Knife, that Antonio?

That was the final straw. Jean slipped into unconsciousness.