A/N: Well, my friend Hakkari and I had been thinking along the same lines with this fanfic. After I finished SDR2, I knew I wanted to write something with Hinata and Kamukura. I haven't read DR0, so I have very little knowledge on Kamukura's canon personality. I apologize if I end up botching him and Hinata up.
Oh, and I like alter egos. Like, a lot. So I made Kamukura and Hinata both their own entity.
Warning: Major spoilers to SDR2, angst
Disclaimer: I don't own Super Dangan Ronpa 2
The sound of waves crashing in the distance echoed around Hinata, who was sitting on the shore. Blank red eyes watched the water as it moved calmly, pulling and pushing with the natural force of the Earth. The movement was hypnotizing, leaving Hinata in a state of lethargy. Lethargy was something that he had grown used to in the past few months or so. It was nothing different for him. Ever since he slowly regained his memories...
One of his fingers unconsciously twirled his long hair, a habit that he had taken up ever since his hair had grown long. Possessing long hair was something that Hinata wasn't used to at first, since he had lived his entire life with cropped hair. But, he found that after a few weeks, he barely noticed the difference. Well, except for the fact that his head felt much heavier, but he had grown used to it. It was only the maintenance that made him wonder if having long hair was worth it. He wondered how he had been able to keep his hair so long during his time at Hope's Peak. A few times in the first few months, he wondered if he should just cut it all off and return back to his previous hairstyle. But whenever he thought that, the back of his head would throb, right where the scars of...his surgery were.
Those scars left a bitter taste in his mouth and he pierced his lips tight together. He didn't like thinking of that time. That time possessed memories that someone would only have nightmares about. Sharp instruments piercing his head, carving into his brain and playing around with it like it was some handheld game system...moving, removing, and replacing pieces of his brain matter...just to turn him into the "Ultimate Hope".
He was nothing but a science project. And a failed one, at that.
A familiar tingle went through his body before he felt a gentle press in the back of his mind, causing Hinata to sigh before giving a faint smile. It looked as though Kamukura was finally awake. He wasn't really surprised, since the other male had been dormant for the past few hours or so. Not to mention, he had been pushed all the way back in his subconscious for who knows how long. It was a wonder that Kamukura hadn't been eradicated permanently because of that. But over the months, he had begun to show himself more and more until he was just a constant presence. Sometimes, Hinata couldn't even tell when Kamukura was awake until a gentle push pressed against his subconscious. Although, he supposed that was what happened when someone got used to sharing a body with someone else.
He and Kamukura...they were completely different. It was like night and day with them. Just as his friends had told him whenever they spent time with Kamukura, the other male was nothing like him. It was pretty much impossible to mix them up. They thought differently, acted differently, even talked differently. Kamukura was the talent, the true Super High School Level student, the power behind both of them. Hinata, however, was just the untalented boy who's heart and motivation had ended up kick starting one of the worst events in history. He was essentially nothing and it made Hinata smile bitterly.
Memories of Hope's Peak and what had actually happened had occurred to him a short while after being on the island. Apparently, he was the last one on the island to regain his memories, supposedly because his brain had shoved those memories so far away that he didn't want to remember them at all. However, such precautions eventually came to an end and he was practically swarmed with memories one day. It had been so overwhelming that he had been incapacitated for about a week or two.
Nightmares began happening after that. Dreams of him murdering his friends, standing in their blood while a cold expression was on his face. The feeling of despair lingering in the background, her presence appearing and encouraging him onward...it made him sick. Although, through all of the mental hell that he had been putting up with those first few months, he had always wondered what happened to Kamukura. There was no way that the male could have just disappeared in his subconscious, never to be seen again.
And unfortunately, he had been right.
One day, he had woken up and stood in the mirror to actually find himself staring at someone that he didn't even recognize. Or at least, someone whom he thought was just a dream. He vaguely remembered Kamukura's appearance from the last trial. Long, ink black hair, crimson eyes, blank expression...That was exactly what he was staring at in the mirror.
Apparently, Kamukura had been awake the entire time after he gained his memories back. After that incident, Hinata had become aware that he could actually have contact with Kamukura. However, he absolutely refused to have anything to do with him. That...murderer...he was the reason that they were even in this mess in the first place. It was his fault that the world had almost fallen into despair... His weakness, his uncaring attitude had almost gotten everyone killed. It was his fault that all of their friends were currently comatose and the world was falling apart.
He had hated Kamukura.
His friends had noticed change in attitude and immediately called him out on it. He supposed that they had been worried about him falling back into despair, since it had been understood by all of them that committing to the Forced Shutdown meant going back to their despair selves. Plus, he was sure they all remembered what had been said about him during the last trial. They had a reason to be worried. So, not wanting to worry them, he had told them what was going on with him. And surprisingly, they had told him to give the male a chance. As Sonia said, Kamukura was "a part of Hinata-kun and any part of him must have even an ounce of good and hope inside of him".
At first, Hinata wasn't even sure how they could forgive him. Kamukura had done all this bad stuff, had gotten them trapped here...and yet, they were willing to give him a chance? It confused him. So, he took several days to himself to just think. Think about why he should forgive Kamukura, why he should give the male a chance. And he found that during that time, he actually learned several things about Kamukura's past. Apparently, the male had been in a slump during the time that Junko appeared. He had been learning at such an accelerated pace that everything around him bored him. And Junko...she had preyed on that moment. She swooped in and manipulated Kamukura into doing such a horrible deed...All in the name of despair.
It had actually hurt Hinata to see the other male in such a state. He was sure Kamukura had no idea what he was even feeling at the time. He had been reduced to such a state that he didn't even realize which emotions were which. Hinata wasn't even sure if he could feel emotions anymore. So, he had decided to give Kamukura a chance. That didn't mean that he immediately liked him by any means. Even now, Hinata wouldn't say that he loved Kamukura or his company. After all, what he had done in the past, while understandable, was unforgivable in his eyes. However...they did share an understanding. And with that understanding came mutual feelings of companionship.
Which, at the end of the day, made things considerably easier, since they still shared a body.
"Hinata-kun." That was all that Kamukura said, his blank voice echoing throughout his mind mentally.
Humming softly, Hinata leaned back against the sand of the beach, feeling some of it maneuvering into his pants. A grimace came to his face for a moment, but he made no movement to get the sand out of his pants. Instead, most of his attention was on Kamukura's presence in his mind. "You want control right now?"
For a moment, silence was the only thing to echo through his mind and Hinata thought that he had accidentally scared away Kamukura – the other male didn't enjoy conversation very much, as it made him easily bored and tended to put him on the spot. It wouldn't be the first time that he clammed up after being asked a question. But, to his surprise, he felt Kamukura's presence still hanging around in his mind and he tilted his head to the side.
"No. I wish to converse to you. If that is...alright," Kamukura said simply, voice still as monotone as always. Although now, it no longer bothered Hinata as much as it used to.
Nodding his head even though Kamukura wasn't actually sitting next to him physically, Hinata tipped his head back. "What did you want to talk about?" he asked curiously.
"My actions were solely my own," he said cryptically. That was another thing that Hinata had grown used to in the past few months. Kamukura didn't tend explain his statements right away.
However, Hinata wasn't quite sure what Kamukura meant right now. Furrowing his eyebrows, Hinata brought his legs up so that he could rest his chin on his knees and wrap his arms around his legs. "What are you talking about?"
"It wasn't your fault that those people died at Hope's Peak," Kamukura elaborated, giving a gentle push to Hinata's mind.
Gasping softly at the statement, Hinata found himself turning all of his attention on Kamukura. He could feel himself slipping away mentally from his body and being transported inside of his mind. It wasn't something that he did often, since it left his body vulnerable. But he felt the need to talk to Kamukura face to face at the things stopped spinning for him, Hinata gazed around, noticing that he was in one of the many rooms in their mind. Turning around, he could see Kamukura sitting in a chair with his legs crossed. The other male always seemed to be sitting in some sort of chair. However, there was something different about Kamukura this time. Instead of the blank expression on his face that could possibly be mistaken for boredom, there was a curious expression on his face. Hinata would hazard a guess and say that it looked almost as though the other male was a bit...concerned.
Nibbling his bottom lip, Hinata hummed a bit and tilted his head. "What do you mean? I...I know that, Kamukura," Hinata said softly, bowing his head down to look at his hands.
"No you don't." Kamukura stood up, dusting off his blazer before walking over to where Hinata was sitting in their mental world. "Despite knowing that I was the one in control during the time of the murders, there is a part of you that believes that we shared the same body, you are partially responsible."
The words struck a cord in Hinata's heart and he frowned a bit. He didn't...he didn't think that. At least...he didn't think that he did. He was well aware that it was Kamukura who had committed those murders, not him. It didn't take a genius to figure that out. Although...he couldn't help but admit that the other male did kind of have a point. He supposed that there was a part of him, a very small part of him, that blamed himself for the entire thing. If he had been stronger, he wouldn't have fallen for Junko's manipulation, if he had been more confident, he wouldn't have let the scientists of Hope's Peak operate on him and change his very being...if he had been smarter...
So many things could have changed if he had been more cautious, more diligent...but that was all in the past now. And perhaps, that was what hurt Hinata the most. The thought that he couldn't change anything. The thoughts that because of his actions, spanning back farther than just the operation, perhaps even before he had became a student at Hope's Peak, nothing could be changed...It really hurt.
However, before his thoughts could get too dark and too deep, hands placed themselves on the sides of his face, cupping his cheeks. Flinching at the contact, Hinata stared up at Kamukura with wide eyes, not quite sure what to do or say. He wasn't quite used to being touched, especially by Kamukura himself whenever they had these moments. So, he just stared at those dull red eyes, breathing slowly while he waited to see what the other male would say.
A frown adorned Kamukura's face. "It is not your fault that this happened. You are innocent."
Tears began prickling at Hinata's eyes and he bit his bottom lip harshly. Kamukura's expression didn't change, although a particular gleam in his eyes made Hinata stop for a moment. He had never seen such a look before and it made him freeze for a moment. Sure, Kamukura wasn't as emotionless as people believed him to be. However, he didn't make a habit to showing how he felt to other people, including Hinata. It made Hinata a bit concerned, if not apprehensive.
"No. You must put those thoughts to rest. It is not your fault, Hinata."
The sound of his name, without any honorifics, caused Hinata's mind to grow blank in a second. Kamukura...never called him by just his name. It was always 'Hinata-kun' or 'Hinata-san'. There was always a sense of formality between the two, even if Hinata himself didn't use honorifics. So, to hear the other male completely forget about suffixes and to just address him by his name...it opened his eyes a little bit. Swallowing thickly, he took the time to actually think about what Kamukura was telling him. The other male...was trying to show him that it wasn't his fault...it made Hinata confused, to be honest. Although on the other hand, it didn't really confuse him that much.
If he remembered correctly, Kamukura never really seemed to do or say anything to push to blame onto Hinata. In fact, every time that the conversation came up, Kamukura never once blamed him or it. Whenever Hinata ranted and yelled at Kamukura for being stupid and letting Junko take advantage of him, he always took the blame without arguments. Never once had he ever snapped at Hinata or blamed him. He didn't even try to explain his actions.
Blinking his eyes at the revelation, Hinata looked back at Kamukura, noticing that the other male was staring at him. Furrowing his eyebrows, he frowned somewhat and sighed a bit. "...I guess you're right..."
Quite honestly, Hinata wasn't really all that sure. He knew that it wasn't his hands that killed all those people. But...it was still done in his body. Several of his decisions had opened the doors to letting that happen. That fact wasn't something that he could let go easily. Although...he supposed...
He supposed he could work to not blaming himself completely. There were way too many factors that influenced the entire event, after all. Blaming himself wouldn't exactly change matters.
Feeling the hands cradling his face slipping away, Hinata blinked his eyes and looked up at Kamukura. Swallowing thickly, he licked his lips hesitantly before giving a faint smile. Kamukura tipped his head forward a bit in response, not changing his expression even though the atmosphere around them had lightened just a bit. However, Hinata could tell that Kamukura appeared to be agreeable with his answer. For now, anyway. He was fairly sure that later on, he would try to get him to understand that it wasn't his fault. And while Hinata wasn't ready to accept that right now, perhaps sometime in the future, he could.
It would be nice to rid of some of the guilt inside of him, after all. But for right now, he was alright with just living his life at the moment.
A/N: Ahhh sucky story is sucky.