When Sloan wakes up the first thing she sees is Mackenzie's face. Mac has draped herself over Sloan and is sleeping deeply, her hair spilling across Sloan's chest and their legs tangled together under messy sheets. Sloan smiles and drops a kiss on Mackenzie's head. She still can't quite believe that last night was real, that she's really here, holding Mackenzie in the stillness of the morning, and she wants this moment to last forever.
It doesn't, though; Mackenzie is stirring now, and when she finally opens her eyes, Sloan can see her own smile mirrored on Mackenzie's features. Mac lifts her head, brown eyes huge and sleepy, and Sloan just has to kiss her.
"Good morning," she says.
"Morning," Mackenzie hums, propping herself up on her elbows to kiss Sloan properly. This is nice, this easy companionship, the way their lips slip and slide together in a slow, unhurried dance. Sloan could get used to this.
"Would you like some breakfast?" Mackenzie asks when they finally separate.
"That depends," Sloan quips, "what are my options?" Sloan knows Mackenzie well enough by now to be apprehensive about anything the other woman might try to cook for her. Mackenzie catches her bottom lip between her teeth.
"I think I may have some bread, so…toast? And….coffee?" she says sheepishly, and she's so adorable Sloan just has to kiss her again.
"Why don't we take a shower," she suggests, "and then we can go out and grab something to eat on our way into work?"
Mackenzie nods, yawning. "That sounds lovely. Just let me check my messages first."
She leans all the way over Sloan to rummage around in the mess of clothes on the floor, searching for her phone, and Sloan takes a moment to run the pads of her fingers over the soft skin of Mackenzie's back. The other woman shivers under her touch, kissing her again before flopping next to her on the pillows, eyes intent on her phone.
"Anything from Will?" Sloan asks, trying to sound nonchalant. She hates the way the specter of that past relationship looms over their heads, but if Mackenzie doesn't mind, Sloan supposes she shouldn't either. Mac shakes her head.
"Nothing. Must not have been important."
It takes a few more moments for Mackenzie to be absolutely certain that there's nothing of earth-shattering importance waiting for her at work before she takes Sloan by the hand and drags her out of bed and into the bathroom.
Mackenzie's shower is small, but she's determined to make this work. At the moment she has Sloan pressed back against the cold tile, her lips dragging the long column of Sloan's neck while her knee grinds against Sloan's center. Mackenzie loves this, messy and slippery and impossible as it may be. She loves the way Sloan giggles when Mac's feet almost slide out from underneath her, and the way the giggle changes to a throaty moan when Mac wraps her lips around one of Sloan's nipples and sucks. She loves the way Sloan's long, slender fingers tangle in her wet hair, pulling just a little while Sloan moans her name, "Kenzie", in that voice that shoots straight down between her legs.
It's not that hard to slide to her knees in this space, to look up through her thick eyelashes and see Sloan above her, panting, catching her lip between her teeth. Sloan's fingers are still tangled up in Mackenzie's hair but it feels good. It feels right. And Mackenzie likes this position, cramped though it may be, because her chances of falling over and completely embarrassing herself have greatly decreased. She encourages Sloan to drape one of her legs over Mac's shoulders.
"I've got you," Mackenzie whispers, placing gentle kisses on the inside of Sloan's thigh while the hot water beats down on them from above. Sloan relaxes at her words. Mac just grins, and sinks her teeth into the sensitive skin where Sloan's leg meets her hip.
Sloan shudders, groans, bucks against Mackenzie's face, but she never tries to pull away. If anything, she tries to pull Mac closer, hands still caught in the damp weight of her hair.
That's enough encouragement for Mackenzie.
Sloan is already wet when Mackenzie drags her tongue through her soft folds before settling on her clit, flicking it with the tip of tongue and listening to the way Sloan cries out, desperate for more. Mac raises her hand, slides two fingers deep, deep inside of Sloan, thrusting in time with the strokes of tongue against Sloan's clit until she feels that familiar tightening around her fingers. She keeps up her rhythm as long as she can, grinning at the fact that Sloan is making these sounds here, in her shower, because of her. Finally Mackenzie relents, and Sloan pulls her to feet, kissing her deeply and shivering at the taste of herself on Mackenzie's tongue.
They stop for bagels and coffee at a place near Mackenzie's apartment and they pick a table near the back to eat and chat. This is nice, Sloan thinks. There's no pressure, just the two of them enjoying each other's companionship and the occasional knowing glance as they each remember the events of the night before. But there's something that's been weighing on Sloan's mind, and she doesn't want to walk back into the ACN building without an answer.
"Kenzie," she says, and Mac looks up from her coffee cup with an eyebrow raised, "You said something to me last night. You said if I stayed you'd tell me all about it in the morning."
Mac nods, takes a long drink from her cup. "I wanted to tell you the truth about what happened between me and Will," she says slowly, and Sloan would give anything to keep her from saying his name again while they're alone like this. Mackenzie takes a long moment to gather her thoughts, and Sloan's stomach is twisting itself into knots.
"I never told him about the women," she says finally. "I told him about my ex-boyfriends, but I never told him about the women. He was - is – a great guy, and he loved me and I loved him and I cheated on him with my ex-girlfriend. Her name is Sarah. She works at the Times-"
Sloan chokes. "Oh God, not Sarah Beranger?" she says in dismay. Mackenzie bites her lower lip and nods. "Oh, Kenzie, she does not have a good reputation."
"It's well earned. Sarah was always a risk. Being with her was like playing with matches; I always knew one day I'd get burned, but I was enchanted by the spark." Mackenzie can be oddly poetical when she wants to be. "Anyway, it started four months before Will and I broke up. She'd call me, and most of the time I'd say no, but if Will and I were having trouble, if I was angry with him or he was angry with me, I couldn't find any reason to stay away and she'd call me and I'd let her come over. And then Will and I had a terrible week, and I told him I was going out of town for the weekend, and he had a key to my place and he'd left something there, a shirt or something, and he came by to get it and-"
"She was there," Sloan finishes for her. Mac nods glumly.
"I think I was scared, you see," Mac presses on valiantly. "Will loved me so much, and I knew he was thinking about marriage and it terrified me. I think there was a part of me that was so scared I was willing to sabotage that relationship myself. And then he found out about Sarah, and he left me, and she was just so awful about it… I realized then how foolish I'd been. I loved him. I would have married him, if he asked. I think we could have been happy together. But I ruined everything. I'm not making excuses," she adds quickly. "There's no excuse for that. I just-"
"You need someone to understand why you did it," Sloan supplies.
To her surprise, Mackenzie shakes her head. "No that's not it." Mac reaches across the table, takes Sloan's hand in hers. "I need you to understand. I need you to understand that I would never, ever do anything like that ever again. I know about your fiancée, and if there's any chance, any chance at all that you and I- that we could- maybe, one day, maybe be something then I need you to know that it was the biggest mistake of my life and I learned my lesson and I will never give you a reason not to trust me."
It's a lot to take in. Sloan threads her fingers through Mackenzie's and studies her face, the openness, the honesty of her expression. She never considered, not for a moment, what might come after this, what might follow if she acted on her desires, but Mackenzie has. Mackenzie has thought about Sloan, and her past, and Mackenzie's thinking about their future, too. It's a prospect Sloan is completely unprepared for, but it's not unwelcome.
"Oh God, I've said too much," she cries, covering her face in embarrassment, and Sloan has to reach across the table to take both of Mackenzie's hands in her own.
"No. It means a lot to me that you've put so much thought into this. It really, really does. And if you and I could maybe be something, well, I think I'd like to see how that would work. And I want you to know that I do trust you. Completely."
Sloan hadn't really thought about it until the words came spilling out, but she knows it's true. She trusts Mac implicitly.
I am so fucked, she thinks as Mac gives her a watery smile.