Inspiration: Like seriously, you think anything except my loving adoration and I'll admit it: I'm hooked on Glee. You think anything other than that would inspire these words, that I've just got to throw down on the 'puter-baby and upload for you to read and enjoy? Until next weeks ep.

Ownership: The tv, the power bills, the cat food {the cat owns me}, the vet bills, the whole enchilada in my house and me. As for Glee, lots of stuff but not the rights to their show.

Dedication: To you, who loves Brittany, and to you who doesn't mind spoilers. Oh and you, over there, hiding behind him, stop doing that for a while. Honestly, get a room.


~ Season 5 Ep 1, What could go wrong? ~

"Got to get you into my life, da da, da do do, doooooo!"

I sit down, the show will be on in five whole min uttts.

I don't go on the 'net, I avoid all the teasers. I've eaten dinner, had my rdinks. I'm feeling ready. BRING. IT. ON!

~ Oh my God, NOOOOOOOOO ~

Scenario one: I, as always on my 'G Night', fall asleep and wake up during the adverts. I look at the tv and wonder what time it is. And am certain I've been hearing my boyz arguing and promising forever afters, to one another. I do this the whole hour. Just as the end adverts happen, I fall asleep. Just as the adverts start, I wake up and wonder "What's going on?" And then after the show finishes, I sleep solidly for many more hours. I have nightmares and cry in my sleep, and dream Klaine hurts, Hevans above and Kurt's below.

Scenario two: The show is seconds from beginning, and the cat jumps out from behind the entertainment unit, pulls the aerial cords out from the massive, wall size tv unit. She looks at me, so innocently, "Meow, purrrr." I jump up and screeeeeem at her. Oh my God, are you serious. I throw her to one side, and scramble to put all the cables back in. Honestly, I could kill her. When the show finishes of course.

Scenario three: The following programme is rated PG, parental discretion is advised. It contains strong language and adult themes. Please enjoy, sing along if you wish. Will Kurt take Blaine back? Will Blaine promise to sign a promise note that he won't cheat on Kurt, ever, ever again? Will Rachel and Santana dance and sing in a Café bar, hoping to get Rachel into the show of her dreams? Will the Warblers, Vocal Adrenaline and New Directions sing and dance together? Will Artie and Kitty date secretly. And will Tina get her knickers in a knot about everythi… OH MY GOOD LORD, NOOOOOOOOOOOO! The blasted power has gone out, because of the windy, windy, stormy weather.

I mean seriously, twenty minutes before the show was to begin, a tree fell on my car. What did I do after I heard the massive crash? Checked the tv was still on, it was. Walked over to the window, looked out, noticed the damage. Looked up at the sky, shrugged my shoulders. Twisted around back to the tv. Checked the power and reception were fine, they were, and I sat down, waiting for the show to begin. I still had eighteen minutes to go.

BUT NOW! I have no friggin power. I throw myself at the tv, check all the connections to the wall. Click, clack, nothing. Must be the tv, check that. Nope! Run outside, smash into the fly screen door. "OW MANNNNNN!" Turn back, rush to get my keys. Grab 'em. Smash my hands with the purple key into the lock, twist and push it open. There's blood from scratches and smashing, but prrffrrr, care factor? Open the meter box. Lift it open, UGH! Two friggin huge hugging huntsmans scramble to a corner. And the power machine, is looking at me, stone cold and not ticking its lovely tune.

~ Uggg Boots, and just Ugggg! ~

I sit down on the steps, and cry, cry, cry. The neighbours come running. The police are called. The hup hup people, hup hup down the road to see what's wrong with me {I'm Brittany Bitch!}. Helicopters above, firemen and rescue men in their tight uniforms revealling a little too much, and some in baggy cuddliness. The whole town is looking at me and my house, with my wailing loud above the storm. The heavy dark clouds, stop raining. The lightning holds still so the audience can see me, and hear my little voice. I stand up and yell STOP!

The wind stops, shshsh quiet now. A bird trips over a stone on the road, I death stare him. Stomp my foot down. Walk back inside. Lock the wire door, shut my front door. Turn on the radio, when the power comes back on, it will play Misty for me. Grab my blankie, and ride out the waiting game.

Scenario four: The one my family love. And I love them, NOT! The following programme is rated PG, parental discretion is advised. It contains strong language and adult themes. RING, RING. RING, RING. My mobile? RING, RING. RING, RING. My landine? RING, RING. RING, RING. My daughters mobile? RING, RING. RING, RING. RING, RING. RING, RING. RING, RING. RING, RING. My mobile, my landline and my daughters mobile are all ringing at the same time! SERIOUSLY! I used to answer them. The callers all knew I was watching my addiction, getting my fix.

Ring, Ring! My big sister, is wetting herself laughing and looking at a photo of me stomping my three year old feet down. This is her favourite photo of me, on her side dresser. Ring, Ring! Our little sister, is looking at my big sister, through the kitchen doorway, and they're laughing together, now. Ring, Ring! My neice, is not getting any Christmas gifts this year, she's sitting with her cousin getting ready for their footy match. Ring, Ring! My nephew is trying on his footy boots, whilst phoning my daughter. Ring, Ring! My brother, and his lovely family have said their predinner prayers, are holding hands and have the phone on loudspeaker, to hear me. That's if I should pick up. Ring, Ring! My best friend, is juggling her hectic family. The kidz are squabbling, the husband is tinkering with his car. The birds twitter, the cat meows and the dog ran away with the spoon. My best friend, stirs her coffee cup and presses dial one more time. Ring, Ring! No Christmas gifts for them either. I have caller id, if I were to look at the phone, after walking to it. pprrffr, not happening.

No more scenarios to play with. I woke up two moments before it began. And I had a Glee-Beatle, Blainey loves Kurt and Kurt loves Blainey, and Tina is Blainey's boo, good time.

And I'm gonna dream good dreams, from all those Klaine pashes! Fine….ahhh…..lleeeeeeeeee!

~ I Love Glee, we all Love Glee ~